Buzz entered the science bay. "What's up, fellas?" he asked the L.G.M.s.

"We heard about your fight with Nebula," said the chief scientist.

"So what?" snapped Buzz. "You gonna report this to the President of the Galactic Alliance and get me into trouble?"

"No, man!" snapped the chief. "We've solved your partner problem."

"How can I have a partner problem if I don't have a partner?" asked Buzz. "Maybe don't even want a partner?"

"We just hope X.R. will change your mind," said the chief.

"Who the hell is X.R.?" asked Buzz.

Then he and the other L.G.M.s turned to face two more L.G.M.s in front of a metal door.

"All right, pay attention now," announced one of the L.G.M.s. "Sick of losing partners and getting new partners and losing them again? Well, here is your chance of never letting that happen in the future."
"The experiment ranger a.k.a. X.R.!" announced the other L.G.M.

Then the metal door shot up and Buzz saw what came out was a something that had a Star Command torso with a golden face with a helmet over it. It also had metal arms and legs with caterpillars for its feet. "X.R., reporting for duty," said the robot.

"Kinda short, ain't he?" said Buzz.

He was right. The robot was only an inch above the L.G.M.s. "So's Peter Dinklage, Danny Woodburn and Elijah Wood. So what?"

"Those guys may have defeated evil in those fantasy worlds," said Buzz, "but in science fiction stuff like this, they wouldn't stand a chance. Just like this hobbit robot here."

"Oh, shut up and watch this," said the L.G.M.s.

Buzz saw three L.G.M.s. firing Star Command blasters at the robot. It was now a pile of scrap.

"I'm not getting the point of this," said Buzz.

"Just keep watching!" snapped one L.G.M.

The L.G.M.s went to the scrap pile with a bunch of tools and later the robot was back on his caterpillars.

"The point is if Zurg blows up X.R.," said the chief, "we can put him back together."
"Yeah, we know how you feel about losing Warp," said one, "so, with X.R., you won't have that experience."

"Hmm," pondered Buzz. "You do have more than one points and this is tempting and intriguing, but three things: One: If it's not a girl human or organic life form so I can't have sex with it if I fancied it. Two: what about Nebula? He hates robots."

"Well, for Nebula, he doesn't exactly know," said the Chief. "Now what was the third thing you wanted to say?"

"That he's in this room and has heard you," said Buzz.

"Ah, that's a good one, Buzz," laughed one L.G.M.

Then throat clearing heard from the top of the stairs of the science bay. Everyone looked to see an angry Nebula walking down.

"Hello, Commander," said the L.G.M.s.

"Who gave you authorization to build that expendable ranger?" demanded Nebula.

"You, sir," said the Chief, giving him a clipboard.

Nebula read the paperwork. "They slipped this permission for building a robot with their vacation request," he told Buzz, "despite me telling them no robot can stand up to a real ranger."

"Which is why we developed this artificial intelligence chip," said the chief.

"The same A.I. chip Steven Spielberg gave you guys when he made his child robot movie?" cried an excited Buzz.

"Yeah, but you will be more like a twenty-year-old gap brother towards X.R. instead of a mother," said one L.G.M, as he pressed black remote with a red button.

"A brother?" gasped Buzz.

"Like a male Miley Cyrus and a male Noah Cyrus," said one L.G.M.

"What we mean is he'll look up to you when you take him out on a test run as your new partner," replied another L.G.M.

"Ligthyear, I already told you!" snapped Nebula. "That girl is your new partner!"

"Why won't anyone listen to me?" yelled Buzz. "No more goddamn, headstrong, good-looking, free-to-argue partners!"

"But, Buzz – " But then the L.G.M.s waved their antennas.

"What the hell are they doing?" asked Nebula.

"It's their mind-link thing," replied Buzz.

"Evil!" cried the L.G.M.s.

"Is it Zurg?" asked Buzz.

The L.G.M.s gasped. "His dark forces invade our home planet!"

"They're destroying my favourite theme park!" cried one.

"They're taking all the money from the L.G.M. bank!" cried another.

"They're putting bombs in the toilets!" cried a third.

"I'm on my way," said Buzz, running out.

"I'm on my way," said X.R., following him.

Soon, Buzz's rocket took off.

In his cockpit, the space ranger opened his wrist communicator. "Buzz Lightyear mission log, Zurg's dark forces have invaded – "

He stopped when he heard X.R. copying him.

"Will you stop that?" snapped Buzz.

"Will you stop that?" X.R. snapped back.

"You know, this isn't funny," warned Buzz. "You're giving me a bloody headache."
"You know, this isn't funny," X.R. repeated. "You're giving me a bloody headache."

"Oh, God," sighed Buzz, as he faced forwards.

"Oh, God," sighed X.R.

"If I – "

"If I – "

" – have to – "

" – have to – "

" – put up with a metal idiot – "

" – put up with a metal idiot – "

"Oh, look who's talking!" snapped Buzz.

"Oh, look who's talking!" snapped X.R.

On the L.G.M. planet, Zurg's armies were attacking the L.G.M.s.

"Let's get to the Uni-Mind!" they shouted as they ran down the stairs.

All the L.G.M.s ran down the stairs to the Uni-Mind.

"Protect the Uni-Mind!" ordered the L.G.M. leader.

All the L.G.M.s held hands with one and another. "We are one!" they chanted together. "We are united! We are powerful! We are awesome! We are sexy! We are glorious! We are – "

The roof came down, knocking the L.G.M.s down.

" – scared as hell!" they finished together. Then they looked up. "Oh, (bleep)!"

Hornets jumped down from the hole in the ceiling and faced the Uni-Mind. They aimed for it, but they were shot down. The L.G.M.s looked up in the sky to see Buzz Lightyear and X.R.

"At ease, little green dudes," smiled Buzz. "Star Command is on the job."

More hornets fired at them. Buzz flew around at one end of the room firing at them and X.R. who flew on a Star Command rocket-pack at the other end and fired at the other hornets with two little Star Command blasters.

Soon the whole room was cleared.

"At ease, little green dudes," said X.R. "Star Command is on the job."

Then a green blaster shot pass them. They turned around to see Agent Z firing at them.

"Ah, one of Zurg's game changer, are you?" Buzz said to his new foe. He and X.R. fired at Agent Z, but he flew off.

"We've got him on the run!" cried Buzz, as he and X.R. went after him.

They saw him go into a huge pile of heavy smoke.

"We've got him on the – run?" X.R. couldn't find Agent Z as he and his human partner came out of the smoke. They looked around. Then they just missed green firing behind them. Agent Z passed them and they gave chase again.

"Man, that guy's tough," said Buzz. Then he fired his laser which hit Agent Z's wings, causing him to fall. "But I'm a badass daddy," Buzz smiled, feeling proud of himself.

Agent Z fell on top of a building and fired at the Star Command rangers, who hid on top of the roof of a lower building. A hit near X.R. caused him to fall off the roof.

"X.R.!" cried Buzz. Then he saw a hook being fired to the top of the roof and his robot partner rolling back to his position. "Man, that guy's tough, but I'm a badass daddy."

"Hmm, I must be more inspirational and influential than I consider myself," said Buzz. "Anyway, since you're a quick learner, check this out."

Buzz set his laser to auto firing. His laser was now firing at Agent Z like mad. Buzz took his right arm out of his firing glove and he and X.R. slowly made their way down the roof.

"I'll bet it'll take him a million years to even think that could even happen," Buzz scoffed. Then he gasped as he saw Agent Z aiming his big gun at him.

"It didn't even take me a microsecond," said Z.

Buzz quickly ran back to the top to grab his laser glove, but it was shot to pieces. "X.R., gun!" he ordered.

"X.R., gun!" X.R. got out all his arms, each holding a gun.

Agent Z fired a little green candle into the canon that came out of X.R.'s torso.

"A candle?" laughed Buzz. "What harm can a candle – "

BOOM! X.R.'s pieces floated to the ground.

"X.R.!" cried Buzz.

"System malfunction!" groaned X.R., as he stopped moving.

"I'd say, 'You're tough, but I'm a badass daddy'," said Agent Z, "but you're not even tough." He shot Buzz on the torso and the space ranger fell off the roof.

Agent Z then turned around and looked at his wrist communicator. "Agent Z to Zurg, the Uni-Mind is all yours."

The L.G.M.s screamed, panicked and cried when the Uni-Mind was picked up by three little rockets that were taking it to one of Zurg's space freighter.

Agent Z got into his own smaller purple spaceship and joined the space freighter on their way back to Planet Z.

Back on the ground, Buzz picked himself up and opened his wrist communicator. "Buzz Lightyear, mission log. I'm afraid the mission was a complete and utter failure. The Uni-Mind has been captured and we've got a ranger down." As he said those last five words, he looked at his destroyed partner.