Chapter 10

Won't Back Down

I entered and she was drinking water. "I want to yell at you," I told her honestly. "I hate that the mating marks are making it impossible for me to do so."

She rubbed eyes and shook her head. "Don't work that way, baby. You can yell at me plenty and I bet that you will later. Right now the urge just isn't as strong as the other one you have to let me sleep."

I thought about her words and checked my thoughts. She was right. Now that she mentioned it, I had no real idea how it worked. I'd just been focused on the end goal; it would be undone and soon. We hadn't had privacy to talk, also thinking about it made me angry.

"How does it work?"

"What's my favorite color, blue, pink, or green?" she asked.

I stared at her wondering what that had to do with anything, but then the answer rather flittered into the forefront of my mind. I had no idea how I knew it. It was as if I was facing a fork in the road. Something vague nudged me left.

"Green," I replied.

She nodded and I stood there awed. "How do you know I wanted you to sleep?"

"Because it's what I need more than anything at the moment," she told me. "The marks allow one to see what the other needs. Our wants and preferences are visible to each other, but not as clear. You didn't have to think about letting me sleep, but you had to think about what color I liked."

I wasn't sure if not knowing would have been better. This unsettled me on a whole other level. "So you know that I prefer…briefs to boxers?"

She seemed to have to think about it. "I don't know," she said, as if confused.

She didn't because I'd been trying to confuse her. My preference was neither. I wore nothing under my jeans. I had too many questions to ask and she was tired. I went over to the bed, lay down, and held my hand out to her. I knew she wanted to, but she hesitated.

"I know how to avoid getting hit, bob and weave, but don't fight back."

She gave me an awkward smile to hide her embarrassment. "When you feel it starting, trace my tattoo lightly and talk. The sound of your voices helps."

I nodded. "When all else fails, I'll play dead."

She chuckled, came to lie on top of me, and I wrapped my arms around her. Why the hell did this feel so normal? How could I have an easy rapport with someone I didn't know and resented? It didn't matter. It just was.

"By the way, the thing with the pillow…"

Sookie chuckled and nipped at my chin playfully. "Don't mention it…ever."

I laughed and began talking to her. Before I was done with the Latin alphabet, she was dead to the world. When dawn was close, I left her and replaced my body with the pillow. She began stirring as I moved her and I did what she suggested. It worked. I watched her, thinking how much of a pain in my ass she was. Then I went to ground. I actually missed it. With the scent of were so heavy in the trailer, it was no surprise.

Everyone was ready to go the next evening except Sookie. She had awoken at some point during the day. She was dressed for travel. She must have come in here to wait for me to rise and then dozed off. I watched her. Her body was just as tempting as always. Her beauty wasn't just outside; the inner one shone as brightly. That was why I had noticed her hair first and then her smile.

Honestly, I wanted her to be shallow. She was used to having the things she wanted. No doubt, she would have fine hotels and cars. Yet, she had never complained about having to slum it while we traveled. She seemed perversely delighted by the road trip. It showed her in a light that wasn't just versatile, but wrapped her in a cloak of mystery. That was the last thing I needed.

With all the things I was feeling for Sookie, unwilling or not, I didn't want to add curiosity to the list. I wanted, no, I needed something to dislike in her so I could push her further away. That was what I should do, but watching her sprawled out like that only made me want one thing. It wasn't sex. I mean, it was, but if only just to hold her closer, as I hadn't since the night we met. The scent of Were wasn't clouding her airy fragrance. I couldn't help it. Crawling into bed, I lined my body with hers and nuzzled her neck. She might wake wanting to hit me, but I would risk it.

"Eric," she sighed. Her eyes were closed, but her legs parted for me. Her body was already heating and moistening to my touch, light as it was. I lifted her chin and brought her lips to mine. The effects were the same. She wasn't in heat, but her flavor still managed to be palpable on my tongue. I wanted all the same things from her that I did our first time. I wanted to conquer, I wanted to taste, and I wanted to claim every inch of her. It made everything else in the vicinity fall away.

Sookie's eyes opened. Like I suspected I got hit but it was a single jab to the throat. If I were a breather, I would have been choking. Such as it was, it hurt but not much. Overall, a small price to pay for having her. Her other hand came at me but it stopped midair. Her eyes were cold and her body stilled. After a few blinks, she came back. I was looking at a woman that only knew me, but she wanted me.

"I hit you," she murmured caressing the side of my neck. "I'm..."

I didn't care. I knew she wanted to speak, but I couldn't let her. Talk would have to wait. I wanted her too much. I claimed her lips and she kissed me back with as much fervor as she had our first night.

Sookie was tugging at my jeans as if they were on fire and she needed to rescue me from them. Then she couldn't seem to spare the energy, so instead she reached under and took me into her hand. The warmth, softness, and expertise of her dainty hand was enough to make me come. I pulled her shirt over her head and tore her panties. Her surrender was immediate and intense. It only made me want more.

There was nothing but her, me, and the spark between us. I was caressing the heat between her legs. All the while, my lips never left hers. Nothing and no one had felt good after her. There was nothing I could recall that measured up to her. Her breasts were thrusting against me in demand. Her nipples were hardened and begging to be suckled. I tweaked and plucked them between my fingers. My fingers parted her folds, and we both groaned. She was so wet and so ready for me, she was already gushing. I knew I could make her come even before I entered her and that was what I wanted to do. I wanted to look into her face as she climaxed.

Sookie was wriggling her hips to keep my fingers from her sweet spot.

"Wait," she said, pulling her lips from mine. "Baby, wait."

"Why?" I said, looking into her eyes, but I did slow my advances. I withdrew my finger and sucked them into my mouth. The taste of her pleasure on my tongue was something I'd ached for, for so long now. She watched me as if mesmerized. "You want me."

She nodded. "So bad, but I don't want the consequences that come with it. Sex strengthens the bond. It would take it from intuition to probability. This is temporary, so we shouldn't. It would make it harder in the end."

She kissed my cheek, and somehow that chaste gesture put an end to the moment in the way that nothing else could have. I let her go and lay beside her until my erection became less massive. Then we got back on the road.

So far, we had found no trouble, and that made us more wary the closer we got to our destination. Two days later, we were in northeast Dallas. We had been heading west. I wasn't sure if I would continue this course or if I would go north. After another refueling stop, we were filing back into the truck. The wind blew and with it came danger.

One second Calvin was bringing up the flank, the next he had burst out of his clothes. He let out a roar so vicious my ears rang. Sookie looked confused as I pulled her behind the line of two-natured. She was looking around as if there was something she should be seeing but wasn't. Anyone who had a four-legged form was wearing it, except Sam's came with wings. He had chosen the form of a griffin and was hovering over our perimeter.

"Stop," Sookie said. "No matter what you see, hear, or feel, don't believe it and definitely don't touch it; if you do, you're dead."

The minute she said it, I saw it. It was the sum of all the fears I had. I saw Godric. He carried the mangled and bloody corpse of his wife and he was screaming, asking me why I had killed her. Sookie was wearing a wicked smile as I knelt at her feet, hopelessly doing her bidding. I looked and the nightmare drew closer. Godric had fallen to his knees in utter despair while he was looking up at me with his hand out, seeking solace.

"A stick of gum, a stick of gum," Sookie muttered. "It's just a stick of gum, and after a hundred chews the stick is done," she repeated it over and over again like it was a mantra, a prayer, and a desperate plea.

It was the second time I was hearing this, and I had no idea what it meant. It annoyed me. I don't know why it was enough to pull me away from my nightmare, but it was. Then again, we had been snapping at each other. Well, I'd been snapping at her while I understood why I couldn't have her, I still wanted her body.

"How the fuck is chewing gum going to fix this?" I hissed.

"It's a mnemonic that helps me cope with stress," she fired back. "By the way, thanks a bunch for breaking my concentration."

Now I turned to her with my irritation full blown. "Oh, my apologies. I was just getting force-fed my deepest fears, but sure by all means, go on and sing the 'Doublemint' jingle. I'll wait."

She was just staring back at me as if she couldn't believe what she was hearing. "You're being a fucking jerk!" she said. "And I want to slap the shit out of you!"

Now we were facing each other. I could feel her irritation, not in the mark that connected us, but the expression on her face. Her head was low, but somehow she held my eyes despite the height difference. It was so predatory and nothing like her, or at least as I'd presumed her to be.

"Do it," I goaded. I crossed my arms and tapped my fingers on my forearms to wait. "No, nothing, " I mocked, after a minute of her just fuming. "Yeah, I didn't think so."

It took me longer than it should to realize that we were no longer struggling to face our fears. They had turned into the lovers spat. I groaned at that realization. Eric Northman no longer did lovers spats. A stone couldn't argue with the wind, and that was exactly what I was doing. I couldn't seem to stop myself.

Our argument was enough to distract us all, everyone except Quinn. The tiger's whimpers were turning into snarls as he was inching forward. He was going to lose it. The first person to see it was Sam. He leapt down to take hold of him with his sharp talons, but he couldn't contend with both the speed and strength of a tiger. Both Alcide and Calvin were dead on his heels, but he had too great of a head start toward his demise. Good riddance to bad rubbish was my thought.

"Stop him," Sookie shouted, elbowing me.

"Why the hell would I do that?" I huffed. "He's such a douche, 'Babe this, Babe that," I shuddered. "He annoys the shit outta me."

"Eric!" she shouted.

"Oh fine," I muttered. "And for the record, I have super hearing, so no need to shout."

I swear, if not for the mating tramp stamps, I wouldn't have obliged her. I really did want Quinn to be beat into pulp just for me to make tiger jerky. I got to appease my craving for brutality by wrapping my arm around his neck, and feeding his face to the pavement. Instantly, it was lights out for the tiger. It took a few moments more, but then we were all free from the hold of whatever had taken hold of us. Godric's tormented face faded into the wind.

When it was over, no one had the energy to drive. Facing your worst fears had a way of sucking the life out of you, I supposed. We filed back into the diner. No one spoke, not even Quinn, who enjoyed hearing the sound of his own voice. Then again, he was still in the truck and very much unconscious. Sam wasn't whistling. We had been mentally raped, and it wasn't a good feeling. We decided to spend the night in the motel close by. Sookie had some questions to answer; not only from me, but also to the people we'd hired to keep us safe during our journey.

"What in the name of hell was that?" Sam asked. He was still visibly shaken.

"Elementals," Sookie said grimly. "They're just feelers sent out when the scope is too wide. Attacking one is like ringing the alarm."

"Who sent them?" Alcide asked. "Someone did."

"Mister, you don't want to know," she replied. "You best get real spiritual real fast because you never want to find out."

That was it for conversation. A little grim for my taste, but no one asked, so I didn't offer. Sookie and I checked into our room. There had been no conversation on if we would share one. We both had assumed it, despite our earlier disagreement. It didn't matter what I felt. The only way I would be comfortable in my own skin was if I had her in my arms. She got ready for bed, but she didn't offer me a blood even though I needed another. She should know it.

"I'm going out for a drink," I said, in case she wanted to offer.

I thought she was sleeping because she had dressed in an oversized t-shirt and her pulse was steady, but she nodded yet she didn't offer. She was in the fetal position, huddled in the blanket. "I'm spent." she told me. "I don't have to energy to drum one up for you."

Her explanation made me less angry. "Sleep," I said, heading for the door. "I'll be back soon."

"There's no rush, you know," she said, turning to face me. "In case you find that you want more than blood from someone you meet, you can be with them if you want. Mating doesn't prevent that."

It was something I'd been wondering about. Since I was sexually frustrated, my tone was a bit sharper. "No, I can't," I replied. "I tried." The thought entered my mind and it both reassured and infuriated me. "Have you?"

"Yes," she told me.

"And?" I was going for casualness, but that single word was loaded.

She rubbed the back of her neck. This conversation was deteriorating fast. I could feel it. "I could and I did," she said. "Just once before my brand showed, and before I knew I was pregnant," she hastily added. "But if you couldn't, it wasn't because we were in the middle of the bonding process. It was because you didn't want to, not really."

Apparently Sookie had found someone else she wanted badly enough. I appreciated her honesty, I really did. What I was feeling now was pure unmitigated rage. I wanted to find the man she had been with. I wanted to rip his fucking head off with my bare hands and shove it up his ass.

"I don't care," I said with a careless shrug.

"I know that's not true," she said. "If it makes a difference, I did it because he reminded me of you."

Nope, I still wanted to shove his head up his ass. I clenched my teeth to keep my fangs retracted. I pulled my jacket on with a lot more force than necessary. I was finished with this conversation.

"A, I just said I don't care. B, if I did, it would only be because of the stamp on my back."

"It doesn't work that way," she said calmly. "It's just heightened intuition and inclination on how to protect and provide for the other person, but it can't control or manipulate thoughts and feelings."

"Go to bed," I ordered. "Go to sleep before I say something I don't mean, or do something I'll regret."

"Like what?" she said, sitting up. "Are you going to tell me that you would have killed me the night we met if for one second you thought it would lead anywhere close to here? You want to tell me you resent me, that you wish you never met me? More than anything, I bet you want to tell me how much you hate that you can't kill me now, and undo the worst mistake you ever made."

I wasn't sure if she said that because she knew it was how I felt, or if she felt the same. Perhaps she thought her words would hurt me. If that was the case, her effort was wasted. No woman had that kind of power over me.

"I didn't say it, you did."

She nodded, and lay back down. I left the room, but blood was the furthest thing from my mind. I just needed space away from this bullshit. I needed as much space from her as I could get. Flying to the roof of the hotel, I was able to keep watch and think. It wasn't really thinking, more like brooding or sulking than anything else. I was furious, hurt, and jealous. I wanted her and I resented.

***This double scoop is because the last chapter didn't show as much as I wanted. But still don't count on double features***