Chapter 22: The Darkest Place

******Friday Night******

Jazmin winced as she stepped into the hot bath. David hadn't broken anything. He had ruthlessly swung the belt a few times, hitting her back and left bicep. She looked down at her arm. A welt from the belt was already tinging her skin. Fortunately, he hadn't broken the skin. She also thought she may have some bruises from his hands when he grabbed her arm hard. Jazmin had concluded that he hadn't truly wanted to damage her much, but he got off on terrorizing her. Jazmin sunk further into the hot water until it covered her face. She wished that she was in the ocean. Then she could just float away.

******The Next Morning******

Veronica couldn't take it anymore. She stormed into Trina's room determined to be heard.

"Trina! Wake up! Right now! Wake up!" she yelled. She reached down and yanked off the covers.

"God, Veronica! What's your deal?" Trina asked through barely opened eyes.

"Richie has been crying for a half an hour! I can't stand you ignoring him!" Veronica fumed. She glanced over at the miserable baby.

A disgruntled Trina sat up in the bed and glared at Veronica. "Relax, Ronnie! A little crying won't kill him! Go away!" Trina said. She pulled the covers back over her and tried to sink back under them.

Fuming, Veronica grabbed the covers and threw them on the floor. "He's a newborn, Trina! He's not even two months! Crying is the only way he can tell you he's hungry or needs changed!" Veronica informed her. She went over the crib and looked down at her nephew. He was red-faced with tears streaming down his red cheeks. Veronica could no longer resist the pull, and she bent down and picked him up. Veronica checked his diaper. Her anger kicked up another notch.

"He's soaking wet, Trina!" she yelled angrily.

Logan came into the bedroom. "What the hell is going on in here?" he demanded.

"Trina is ignoring Richie and letting him scream his head off! He's soaking wet!" Veronica told Logan.

Trina got out of bed and glared at Veronica. "She's overreacting!" Trina replied.

"You both need to stop yelling in front of the baby!" Logan told both women in annoyance. He reached over and grabbed the baby from Veronica. "I'll take care of him. You both can leave!"

"It's my room!" Trina protested.

"It's my house!" Logan replied.

"Fine!" Trina exclaimed. She stomped out of the room and went across the hall to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

"Logan," Veronica started to say. Logan cut her off.

"Go. I got this," he said pointedly. Veronica gave him a sour look but turned to leave.

Logan patted his nephew's back and soothed him. "It's okay, little man. You're okay," Logan said softly. He unsnapped his sleeper and took off his diaper. He was annoyed to discover that Veronica hadn't exaggerated. The diaper was heavy with urine. Logan quickly changed him and grabbed the extra bottle Trina kept handy. Picking him up, he sat down in the rocking chair and gave Richie the bottle. It took no time at all before Richie drifted back to sleep. Logan slowly stood up. After placing a kiss on Richie's forehead, he placed him back in his crib. Then he went into the living room.

Veronica was pacing back and forth, fuming. When she noticed Logan, she marched toward him. "Logan, I can't deal with Richie being neglected in my own home!" she exclaimed, very upset.

"Veronica, it was one incident. I think you're overreacting," Logan said.

"Overreacting? Are you joking? This is not the first time she's just let him cry! The other day I didn't bother to go check on him. For all we know, he could've been wet and hungry just like he was just now!" Veronica said angrily.

Logan knew she had a point. Before he could reply, Trina entered the living room. "What the hell's wrong with you, Veronica? If Richie's crying, you're just as capable as I am of picking him up and caring for him!" Trina informed her in irritation.

"I shouldn't have to! He's your son!" Veronica yelled.

"Okay, look, I know it's not easy for you to be around him after losing your own, but you love taking care of him. Why are you suddenly coming down on me?" Trina asked in genuine confusion.

Dick came into the room. "What's going on? What's with all the yelling?" he asked unhappy at the commotion.

"Trina thinks being a mother means she can sleep and ignore the cries from her baby!" Veronica said.

"Veronica thinks she's perfect, and no one is good enough for her impossible standards!" Trina shot back.

"Sorry, dude, for waking you," Logan said to Dick. "It's fine. Go back to bed."

Dick didn't look convinced but decided he didn't want to get in the middle of the drama, so he went back to bed. He had to pick Mac up in three hours for the brunch with her parents. He could get two more hours of shut eye.

"I don't think I'm perfect, Trina. I just want you to be Richie's mother and take care of him!" Veronica challenged.

The insult hit Trina hard. She was trying her best. "I am taking care of him! How dare you say that I don't!" Trina fumed.

"Let's calm down!" Logan said in a reasonable tone. "Trina, we know you take care of Richie. I'm proud of you. Veronica is just a bit overanxious."

"Overanxious? What's that supposed to mean?" Veronica asked, insulted.

Logan didn't know how to placate both women and sighed in frustration.

"It means you need to chill out!" Trina retorted. "I moved in here and kept Richie because you both said you'd help me with him. Now you want to suddenly criticize me for it? If you want to pick up Richie, then do so. I'm not possessive of my son. I know you love him as much as I do. I don't think it does him any harm to cry for a while. I don't want him to be coddled and spoiled like I was. But if it bothers you so much, then by all means, pick him up!" Trina decided she had said enough and went back to her room. A part of her knew that Veronica's reaction and behavior had less to do with her and Richie and more to do with her miscarriage.

After Trina left, Logan reached for Veronica's hand and pulled her against him. She was stiff and unbending in his arms, but he refused to let her go. "Are you okay?" he asked quietly.

Veronica's eyes filled with tears, and she put her head against his chest and cried. Logan simply held her, relieved she was finally letting out some of the pain she was feeling.

******The Sinclairs******

Madison had not been happy to see Dick at the family brunch. Mac, in turn, had not been happy to see her own parents and the Mckenzies, at the brunch. It was a full-on surprise attack. She squeezed Dick's hand, grateful that he was there lending her his support.

"Mom. Dad. I didn't know you were coming," Mac said to her parents.

"We're worried, honey," Natalie said to her.

"We don't like what we've been hearing," Sam added.

Mac looked over at Madison's smug face. "Hearing? From whom? Madison? Like she can be trusted with the truth!" Mac said sourly.

"You and your best friend have been tormenting me all week!" Madison accused. "I've been pulled over three times, tasered, and publicly humiliated with my school records plastered all over school. A feat only someone with your particular skill set could pull off!"

"Sorry to inform you, Madison, but we attend a university with some really smart people. I am not the only one who knows how to hack into private records!" Mac said in outrage.

"So you didn't help your friend?" Marilyn asked.

Mac couldn't believe this. She had angered and hurt her best friend over this entire mess, and her family was accusing her and believing everything Madison said. The injustice of it made her fume.

"No, I did not!" Mac exclaimed. "In fact, Veronica and I have been fighting for the first time since we've become friends. She believes Madison's attack on her at Lauren's party caused her miscarriage."

"That's ridiculous!" Madison scoffed. "She had her miscarriage two days after the party!"

"You shouldn't go around attacking pregnant women, Maddie!" Dick said in irritation. He was getting increasingly upset at the way they were talking to Mac.

"Stay out of this, Dick!" Madison yelled.

"I will not!" Dick yelled back. He looked at Mac's parents in disgust. "You know you two can be forgiven because you don't really know Madison. Not like I do. You probably want to think the best of her. Maybe 'cause of guilt for not switching back when you found out about the switch. I don't know. But I've known her our entire lives, and she's a liar. Not to mention, she's the most spiteful, vindictive person I've ever met."

Madison's dad came to her defense and stood up. "That's enough, young man! You will not talk about my daughter like that in my own home!" he said sternly.

"But you'll sit here and let Madison falsely accuse Mac, your real daughter, in your own home?" Dick said pointedly, not at all cowed. No one was going to attack his Mac. "I, for one, believe Madison did kill Veronica's baby. But I love Mac, so I'm on her side no matter what. She's smarter than me, and I trust her. Maybe she's right. But Madison, who you foolishly believe is your perfect little angel, isn't so perfect. In fact, she told Veronica a few days ago that her baby was better off dead!"

Madison's parents (both sets) looked at her in dismay. "I bet she didn't tell you that was the reason why Veronica pulled out her Taser, did she?" Dick asked. "Everyone knows not to piss off Veronica when she's carrying her shoulder bag."

"What kind of girl goes around tasering people?" Marilyn asked in disapproval.

"A girl whose best friend was murdered. Who was almost killed by her boyfriend's father. A girl who was drugged and raped at a party Madison's best friend threw. A girl who was attacked by rapists on our school campus. A girl who was almost shot," Mac listed.

Her parents had the grace to look ashamed.

"Veronica brings most of that on herself. Always butting into other people's business. She was determined to bring down those campus rapists and prove the wrong person was arrested for Lily's murder," Madison said. "She has no business playing cops and robbers. Of course, she's going to get hurt. She presumes entirely too much!"

"Maybe so," Mac conceded. "But at least she's trying to make the world a better place. What are you doing?"

"Okay, let's stop!" Sam Mackenzie said. "We aren't getting anywhere with this fighting. We all care about both of you."

"We don't want you two fighting," Marilyn said.

"I'm not Veronica. I'm not in control of her. She is devastated and not listening to anything I'm saying right now," Mac said. "Madison should avoid her and not bait her by saying cruel things to her when she sees her. That's my advice."

"So she can just keep tormenting me?" Madison asked in outrage.

"You tormented her in high school, Maddie," Dick pointed out. "Throwing her clothes in the toilet when she was taking a shower in the gym locker room. Spreading rumors about her. Writing slut on her car."

"Like you were any better!" Madison yelled. "How many times did you slash the girl's car tires?"

"Yeah, and Veronica has made me suffer plenty for it. She ran over my favorite surfboard. She gave me hell for a long time, but we made peace because of Logan. I suggest you do the same," Dick warned. "For Mac's sake. She's her best friend."

Natalie and Sam exchanged glances after hearing Dick's recitation. It upset Natalie to know a girl that she gave birth to could be so cruel. Mac never went out of her way to hurt anybody. Even now, she was trying to reach out to Madison. "This needs to stop," she said quietly to the group. "I don't want to hear any more about you attacking anyone pregnant or not. Be the bigger person, Madison."

Madison looked stonily away. She wasn't going to just roll over for Veronica Mars.

Mac got up. "I'm not staying for brunch. I'm not coming over here to be attacked. I didn't help Veronica do anything. She lost a baby. She's grieving, and she blames Madison for the miscarriage. If I know Veronica—and I do—it will get worse before it gets better," Mac said.

"So what am I supposed to do?" Madison asked. "You need to make her stop!"

"No, Madison, you do. You made this mess. You can clean it up. I suggest you apologize and avoid her for a while," Mac said.

Dick got up to follow her out. They never looked back.

When they made it outside, Dick put his arm around her shoulder. "You did good, Mackie!" he said.

"Thanks so much, Dick. I don't think I could've been so brave without you," she admitted. She leaned up to kiss him. "I love you so much."

"I love you right back, babe!" Dick said with a grin. "Do you want to go grab a bite?"

"Would you be mad if I just had you take me home? I feel exhausted and just wanna go home and decompress," Mac confessed.

"Do you want some company? I can think of a few ways to make you relax," Dick said with leer.

Mac smiled. "How about dinner? Give me most of the day to get out of the ugly mood they put me in. Then you can pick me up at 6pm and take me to dinner," Mac said.

"Then back to your place for some alone time?" Dick asked hopefully.

Mac laughed and opened his truck door. "Of course!" she said.

Dick happily got into the truck and took her home.

*******Mac, Jazmin, and Parker's Place*******

Jazmin was in the kitchen trying to make herself eat something when Mac came back home. Jazmin had parted her hair to the side to hide the slight bruise on her cheek where David had hit her. The deception was weighing her down. Even though she hadn't eaten since lunch the day before, she pushed away her sandwich after one bite. Her appetite was gone. She looked up when Mac came into the kitchen.

"Back so soon?" she asked.

"Yeah, well, I couldn't stay for any actual eating," Mac said, opening the fridge. She reached inside and grabbed a yogurt. "It was as bad as I thought it would be."

"I'm sorry," Jazmin said with sympathy.

"I guess Veronica had someone hack into Madison's school records, and she managed to convince my family that I was the one who did it," Mac said.

"Who could blame her after what Madison did?" Jazmin said.

Mac was in no mood to defend Madison or the entire mess in her own home. "Look, I don't want to fight. Veronica's not rational right now, and it doesn't help when all her friends just parrot everything she says. It only makes things worse for everyone. Madison did not cause the miscarriage," Mac said flatly.

"I'm not parroting anyone. She is directly or indirectly responsible for the miscarriage. I don't see how you could say otherwise," Jazmin said with a frown.

"You had your miscarriage right after you fell, right?" Mac asked. Jazmin nodded. "If Madison's shove was enough to cause a miscarriage, it would've happened that night. Not two days later."

"Sometimes the baby could be dying and not miscarry for a few days. It's possible. Early pregnancies are fragile. Who could say for sure?" Jazmin asked.

Mac was not in a good mood to begin with, so she didn't have her normal patience. "Medical science," she said flatly. "Please, don't help Veronica in this vendetta. Things are bad enough for me." Mac turned and walked out of the kitchen.

Jazmin felt Mac's disappointment most keenly. Here was another friend she'd inadvertently upset. More self-loathing filled her, and she got up from the table. After throwing her sandwich away, she walked slowly up to her room. She wanted to go to Mac's room and tell her she was sorry for upsetting her, but she couldn't find the energy. What's the use? Nothing she does anymore ever seemed to be right. Feeling more depressed than ever, she walked into her room.

She paused in front of her mirror. Glancing at her image, she saw nothing attractive, nothing loveable. She felt more worthless than she had ever felt in her life. Never had she felt so lost and so very alone. Turning away from her the mirror in disgust, she walked over to her bed, sitting sideways with her feet on the floor. Jazmin didn't know what to do with herself. Normally so full of energy and purpose, she wasn't able to turn off her mind. It kept racing, filled with one image after another. Veronica's look of disappointment. Mac's annoyance. Eli's look of hurt and loathing. David's smirk, his anger, his knife. All the images kept playing on a loop in her head. Other hated memories flashed. Her rape, the events of yesterday all crashed together in her mind. She closed her eyes against the images. It didn't help. The kaleidoscope of painful images all worked together to finally break her. Jazmin wanted so very much to escape the pain, be free of the images. She wanted to be free of the mess she had made of everything.

Jazmin moved to lie down on the bed. Curling up on her side, she closed her eyes hoping to find some peace in sleep. Minutes went by. The minutes turned into hours. She could not stop the images, escape the memories. Not even for a few hours. She found no peace, no relief. Eventually, she opened her dry eyes. Her pain was so deep that she couldn't even cry anymore. She was beyond tears. It was like she was dead inside, a shell of who she used to be. She had no more tears to cry. Nothing inside to give to anyone. Realization hit her. What good was she?

Jazmin didn't consciously reach for the bottle of sleeping pills on her nightstand with the thought to do herself harm. She opened the bottle and poured two pills into her hand. Then she grabbed the water bottle she kept by the lamp on the nightstand and swallowed them down. She started to put the pill bottle down.

Then a voice in her head seemed to whisper, "Why stop at two? Why not let sleep claim you forever? Why not escape in blissful sleep? Maybe then you'll find some true solace." She poured four more pills in her hand and swallowed them with a drink of water. In a sudden frenzy, she repeated the action again and again until the bottle was empty. It was done. Finally, it would be over. She would know peace. She laid back onto the bed and closed her eyes.

*****To Be Continued******

I said I was going to take her to the bitter edge. In case, you're unsure, this is it. Thoughts?