Otabek sat down next to the members of his team and fumbled with his gym bag. The athletes around him were chatting. Otabek was half listening while he pulled off his street shoes.
"Otabek have you talked to anyone from team Russia?" Someone asked him. It was a younger skater, Mari.
"No?" He didn't glance up from his laces.
"Figures," she said, turning back to her pairs partner, "no inside gossip for us." Otabek ignored her comment and slid out of his leather jacket.
"What do you think this means for this year's Grand Prix?" Asked one of the male skaters.
"Even if Plisetsky is out the running there's no way you're taking gold," a new voice said with a smirk. A twenty-year-old brunette wearing candy red Doc Martins walked over to the bench and sat down. Otabek rolled his eyes at the mention of his name. She slid close and greeted him with a kiss. He pulled away quickly not yet used to the public display.
"But really… You have nothing you can tell us?" She asked, throwing a leg over his. Otabek sighed.
"What Julia? What do you want to know? How selfish he is? How annoying?" He scoffed. "If that's what you guys want to hear about I have plenty to say." The team shifted uncomfortably in their seats.
"Otabek…?" Julia started. She looked at him with pinched brows.
"Dude, you didn't hear?"
"Hear what?" Otabek asked.
"It's all over the news," Mari added.
"I thought you already knew," Julia said. She pulled her leg away and turned to face him.
"Knew what?" Otabek said he was becoming frustrated. He turned to Alen with a glare that meant business. Alen shook his head lightly.
"Yuri Plisetsky is dead."
Otabek's mind fumbled.
"He's not dead!" Someone objected.
"Maybe not yet," Alen scoffed they all glared at him. He raised his hands, "don't look at me like that for being realistic. He stepped in front of a car! People don't walk away from that." Otabek struggled to make sense of what they were saying.
"Shut up, Alen," Julia snapped.
"You don't think he'll really die do you?" Mari asked she was holding tightly to her partner's hand. "I mean he's just a kid. He'll be okay. Right?"
"What happened?" Otabek asked. Nothing they were saying made any sense. Julia took his hand.
"Plisetsky-"
"Yuri," Otabek interjected.
"Yuri," Julia continued, "was in an accident last night. He got hit by a car." Otabek shook his head.
"How did he get hit by a car?" Julia faltered.
"Well, they say he was in the road." Otabek looked at her still confused.
"Why?" Julia pushed the hair away from her face. Alen scoffed.
"Put two and two together will you? The kid was trying to kill himself."
"They don't know for sure," Mari said quickly, "He was apparently pretty out of it. You two used to be close, do you think he was really trying to…" She trailed off.
"Die?" Otabek asked. He thought for a second. "He used to talk about the pressure he was under," He thought back to the text he'd received a few weeks prior. "But I don't know," he said under his breath.
"There hasn't been an update in hours," Mari said, reading from her phone.
"If he doesn't want to live they won't be able to help him. They might as well stop now," Alen said.
Julia shot him a glare.
"I left my music in my locker," Otabek said getting to his feet. Julia raced after him and pulled him into the hall, out of sight.
"Are you okay?" She asked. Her hand clasped his tightly.
"Fine," Otabek said. And he was. Wasn't he? "I need to get my music before practice starts." Julia's mouth was hanging open
"You aren't worried? Or running off to see him?" Otabek shook his head. "I don't believe you! I know you two had a falling out but this is ridiculous." She lowered her voice, "he's dying, Beka." The use of his nickname brought something into the back of his mind. Memories, as solid as a wisp of smoke.
"He doesn't need me there. I'll just make it worse." Julia's eyes began to water.
"You really have no idea do you?" Otabek's eyes widened at the emotions that she let off. "Alen's right look it up. The video's everywhere, you can't miss it." Julia pushed past him and into the women's locker room. He walked over to his locker and grabbed his CD. He glanced at his phone and sure enough, his Twitter was blowing up. The video Julia had mentioned was trending on every platform. His thumb hovered over it but the anger returned and he refused to click on it. He didn't have time for rumors anyway. Yuri was a known drama queen and the source was undoubtedly unreliable.
Julia was hovering. During his practice and weight training, she was underfoot the entire time. She cornered him before lunch.
"How are you ok?" She demanded.
"What?" Otabek deadpanned. He was tired and hungry.
"You two were practically brothers. Do you remember what I used to get upset about all the time when we first started dating?" Otabek rolled his eyes.
"Everything?"
"No," Julia snapped. "You spent more time talking to him than you did me. I was jealous of him and he lives in another country. You can't throw away years of history because of one day." Otabek froze.
"One day? Our friendship was completely one-sided. Now, can we get lunch? I'm starving." She shook her head with a baffled expression.
"Are you going to stay mad at him forever?"
"I'm not mad," Otabek said. "I forgave him a while ago."
"Then what's the problem?" Julia asked exasperation dripping in her voice.
"I don't need that in my life anymore. I have you," he reached out for her but she stepped away, "you were there for me when everything fell apart. He was a terrible friend."
"That's not how I remember it," Julia said. Otabek sighed and started walking down the hall. She kept pace with him. "I remember him being there for you through everything else. He was there when you hurt your back, when your mom got sick, he flew out here when your sister broke her leg in the middle of her junior debut," she pulled on his arm making him stop, "You can't say none of that matters." Otabek clenched his jaw. "You keep going on about how he wasn't a good friend but did you ever stop and think that maybe he didn't know how to be?" Julia asked.
"It doesn't matter anymore. I've moved on."
"What about him?"
"What about him?" Otabek countered. Julia looked at the man in front of her and didn't recognize him. "You're treating this like it isn't a big deal."
"Ironic isn't it. Why would I put myself back in his drama?" Otabek's temper was flaring up.
"Drama?" Julia shot back. "It's called attempted suicide."
"That's a rumor-"
"My God! You haven't seen the video yet have you?"
"Haven't had the chance," Otabek replied. Julia pursed her lips.
"You better make time- before it's too late."
"J, I'm happy with how things are. We have each other. Besides, I can't make decisions for him. If-"
"If this is what he wants. That's what you were going to say." She shoved him roughly. "He's a Kid Otabek! And your best friend. And he," she choked up, "he stepped in front of a car." She cleared her throat, "But he made you mad so that doesn't matter. You are just going to stay out of it," she made the motion of dusting her hands off, "I hope I never get on your bad side Otabek Altin because apparently, I'd be dead to you." She started to walk away.
"Julia!" Otabek called after him. She looked over her shoulder.
"I can't be with someone with so little compassion. Watch the damn video." Otabek sighed and reached into his pocket for his keys. His appetite was gone.
There was nothing like coasting through the city on a motorcycle. Nothing. The road zipped under his feet and the wind rushed across his skin. He wasn't really sure where he was going. Not home- no, that stopped being a place of refuge long ago. His phone was burning a hole in his pocket. With nothing to distract him but the open road, he couldn't help but think of a certain blond skater. He was mean and acidic but if you knew when to look you would catch a smile or a moment of softness.
No.
Otabek shook him from his thoughts. He couldn't worry about one more thing. There wasn't any room left in him. He tried to leave Yuri's memory in the dust that whipped away from his tires but the need to know was a burning ember against his side. He pulled over. Opening his phone he pulled up the video.
This is for Julia. I can't lose her too, he tried to rationalize what he was doing but when his thumb pressed down on the play button his world stopped.
"Get off! Get off! Get off!" Screaming flew out of his speakers so loud it startled him. The video was horrible quality like it was being filmed on the phone of someone with shaking hands. The car was stopped off to the side. There was no blood, no bone, and no visible injury. That's what made the blood curtailing screams even more unsettling. Yuri. He was being pinned to the ground by the hands of strangers. "No! Let go!" They tried to hush him but the thin body continued to thrash. Otabek almost couldn't recognize his voice until he realized it was because it was thick with tears. Familiar faces appeared on the scene. Victor ripped the strangers away and Yuuri dropped to his knees to prevent Yuri from getting up.
"Yura, it's okay, calm down, you're okay," Victor said.
"It's not real. It's not real," Yuri pleaded. He held Victor close by locking his hand on his sleeve. He was choking. Gasping for air which didn't seem to be getting to him.
"Breath," Yuuri demanded. Yuri's frame arched with effort but no oxygen reached his lungs. His arms went ridged and then they fell slack. His body melted onto the asphalt. Otabek's heart forgot how to beat. "Yuri?" Victor shook him roughly. Yuuri dropped his head on Yuri's chest and fear exploded in his eyes. He began strong chest compressions.
"Not today. Yuri Plisetsky you do not get to die today. Do you hear me?" Otabek had slid off of his bike and onto the curb. "Come back right now," Yuuri ordered. "You're not finished yet."
It was over.
Otabek dropped his phone once the screen froze on the last frame.
'Please Beka.'
That's what he had said. That was the last text message Otabek had received. And the last words? He couldn't remember. Guilt. It washed over him like a tidal wave. How did this happen? Why did this happen? Would he have noticed? Could he have stopped it? Questions weighed on his heart and soul but that was burned into his line of sight was, what now? Otabek called his number. It rang and rang but there was no answer. He pulled the phone away from his ear with shaking hands. Who else? Who else? He clicked on a number he wasn't sure he'd ever called before.
"What?" A demanding voice answered. The background was filled with noise and voices.
"Mila?" Otabek asked. There was a pause.
"Who is this?" Mila asked. "If you're from the press I hope you have fantastic medical insurance because when I'm finished with you-"
"It's Otabek. Otabek Altin." Mila was quiet for a long time. "Yuri- is he… do you know anything? I can't reach him," Otabek explained.
"They won't let him have his phone," Mila answered curtly. Her voice was slurred. Is she drunk? Otabek thought. "Not like he'd even be able to answer the phone if they let him. That's the thing about internal organ damage," she sighed, "really fucks you up."
"Have you seen him? Is he a-" Alive? No, that wasn't the right word. Okay? No, he already knew he wasn't.
"He was still around a couple hours ago but… meh. I don't know anything these days. See if you'd asked me yesterday I would have said he was fine. He was peachy. That's not true though, nope. He was a dead man walking." She paused and took a drink of something strong. "Who is this again?"
"Otabek."
"Right, right… well Otabek, if I remember correctly you look damn good in a leather jacket. Feel free to stop by if you're in the area, maybe have a drink, I'm buying." And with that, she hung up. Otabek slipped his phone in his pocket. His stomach was turning and turning. I have to know. I have to see him, his mind screamed. He got on his bike and drove to the only place he could. He drove to her.
Julia was sitting in her living room refreshing the news on her phone every few minutes. Still nothing. A pounding sound on her door made her jump.
"Julia?!" Otabek shouted. She got to her feet and hurried to the door. Before she could open it Otabek burst in. "Juli-" He collided with her. She took in his windswept hair and physical trembling.
"What are you doing?" She asked, steadying him with her hands.
"What do I do?" She looked at him lost and confused. He grabbed her shoulders in a rushed frustration. "What should I do?"
"You watched the video didn't you…" Julia trailed off. "Shit. I didn't mean watch it alone. Are you okay?"
"Am I okay? I'm- He died. He actually died and I had no idea. I called them. He's not okay. He's not and I pushed him away. What did I do?" Otabek felt himself losing his grip on his emotions.
"No. Hey," Julia put a hand on his face to get his attention, "this is not your fault. Do you hear me?"
"I have to see him. I have to know why." Julia nodded slowly.
"Okay, then let's go."
"You- we?" Otabek asked.
"If you think I'm going to let you travel out of the country alone, when you're like this, you're out of your mind."
A.N: Whoops what just happened?