As Your Friend Chapter Two
Gwen wondered how she hadn't always known. It was so obvious now. Merlin and Arthur, Arthur and Merlin. Every day, all the time, how, how! Had she not noticed?
"Gwen? Gwen?" Morgana's voice brought her back to the present.
"Yes milady?"
Morgana looked at her with worry in her eyes. "Are you quite alright Gwen? You are dreadfully vacant this morning."
Gwen smiled reassuringly. "Oh yes. I'm fine. Just had trouble sleeping is all." Morgana looked skeptical, but nodded.
"If you're sure. But join me for some tea. Have you heard about Sir Tor's admirer?" Morgana set out Gwen a cup, and Gwen let herself indulge idle gossip with Morgana. ". . . and Sir Leon is taking me out riding for lunch. You may come if you would like but I would advise you take the chance to sleep! You look tired Gwen." Morgana smiled kindly at Gwen.
"Thank you milady. I'll just clear up the plates." Gwen said. Smiling back.
"Of course. Do take care of yourself Gwen." Morgana answered, and swept off. Heading for the gardens to wait for Sir Leon. Gwen cleared up the plates, and wondered desperately what to do. She had been up late trying to come up with a plan, but when she had finally given up and slept she was no closer to a solution. She hadn't noticed Arthur following her today, but she had been with Morgana in her chambers most of the day, and Arthur did have duties as crown prince. She looked out the window. Yes, there the knights were training. Arthur and Merlin would be there. Gwen sighed. Putting the last cup on the tray she carried it to the kitchen, and decided Morgana might have been right. She needed sleep. The training looked to have stopped, breaking for lunch. Gwen briefly considered the idea of eating, then discarded it. She wasn't very hungry after brunch with Morgana. Her thoughts turning back to Arthur and Merlin. There wasn't much she could do, the conversation yesterday had left her with more questions than answers, but she didn't want to admit she had been witness to that very private moment. They had stayed embracing for some time until Arthur pulled away. Wiping his eyes, and wiping Merlin's as well. Gwen had been holding back tears of her own, but that simple gesture of comfort destroyed any composure she had, and she almost missed their leaving. Arthur smiled slightly at Merlin. "I love you too." Merlin returned the smile, then threaded his hands in Arthur's hair and kissed him. Arthur's hands clasped behind Merlin's neck. They broke apart and Merlin collected the laundry. Nodding to Arthur, he walked back towards Arthur's chambers. Arthur watched him go, then turned and left the way Gwen had come. Gwen herself had stayed there hidden by the laundry cart for quite a while after wards, crying for the pain her friends were feeling, before calming down sufficiently to make the trip to her house. Well, she mused, it was their move now. If they wished to explain the situation to her, she would listen and do her best to help. If they didn't, it wasn't her place to pry she decided. Absently she opened the door to her house, laying her shawl down on the table.
"Guinevere."
She screamed and turned to see Arthur standing in the opposite corner. "Oh. Arthur. You startled me." She said.
He bowed his head. "My apologies. I came to ask to talk to you. As soon as you have time."
"I have time now if you would like." Gwen answered. He nodded, and she gestured for him to sit. "Make yourself comfortable." He sat, and she took a seat opposite to him. Arthur took a deep breath. Then let it out. He looked at her suddenly.
"I hope you know I consider you a dear friend, and ask that you not see me differently for anything I am about to reveal to you." Arthur held her gaze as he spoke. Gwen nodded once. "And I ask that you not speak of this to anyone. However you feel afterwards, there could be lives at stake." Gwen nodded again.
"I consider you a dear friend also and would never betray your confidence." She said.
"Thank you." Arthur said. "This may not seem to have much relevance, but hear me out, and it will resolve itself. I am in a relationship with another man. I would prefer it if he remained unnamed, he—" At this Gwen had to cut him off. If he was going to put this much trust in her the least she could do was be honest.
"Arthur before you continue may I say something? It may make things easier." He nodded, seemingly slightly unsure. She pressed on. "Yesterday, after you followed me around all day," He winced. "After I ran into you, you said you were going to look for Merlin, and I was worried about you, so I went looking for him as well." Arthur looked apprehensive. "I was near the laundry, when I heard someone coming the other way, I didn't want to deal with whatever trying to figure you out at the moment, so I hid behind the laundry cart. Merlin came out of the laundry, and, I, I couldn't go anywhere, I was there for your conversation with him." Arthur was pale.
"So you know."
"That Merlin is the man you are involved with. Yes." Gwen smiled slightly.
Arthur nodded and took a deep breath. "I ask again that you do not speak of this to anyone. If word got out, I am crown prince, no one would dare accuse me, but Merlin, if . . . " Arthur trailed off.
Gwen covered his hand with hers. "I know. You forget I think, that Merlin is my friend, and I don't want to see him hurt either." Arthur's smile at that was so full of gratitude it made Gwen's heart ache. "Now, I have many questions which would like answers. If you oblige to explain the situation to me I would be most grateful."
Arthur smiled. "I would imagine you are quite confused, I hope I can answer your questions, but first I have one of my own. Do you truly not mind? To hear of your friends, two men, in a relationship with one another?"
Gwen considered his question. "I was slightly surprised actually, that I so full heartedly didn't mind. But you are my dear friends, and after watching the both of you yesterday night, I could not doubt how much you love each other, and there is no harm in love."
Arthur nodded. "Well, my original plan for what to say is now completely useless so forgive me if I am not as, eloquent in my speech."
Gwen chuckled. "Your eloquence is the least of my worries." She smiled. "Talk Arthur."
Arthur took a breath and began. "I would first like to apologize for my strange behavior, you said you were worried, which is my fault." He laughed. "This will sound, I don't know how to phrase this. Oh well. I think you would make a good queen of Camelot. In light of our previous conversation I realize it makes no sense. Which is true. Because I can't be your husband, I can't give you my heart, and if I am right, you cannot give me yours." He looked at her, a question in his eyes.
She nodded. "I gave my heart to Lancelot, unfortunately, I cannot take it back." Gwen smiled ruefully. "I will always love him, but from his actions it is apparent that I cannot expect anything from him. He believes himself to be doing the right thing, in leaving me. Why, I have no idea."
Arthur looked guilty. "That may be my fault. Merlin says he left because he believes that I have feelings for you, and you for me, and thought himself to be in the way."
Gwen nodded. "He will never think himself worthy. He cannot love me truly if he does not love himself, and I have accepted that is how it will be. But you are right Arthur. I could never be yours or anyone else's' wife, because I could not give them the love they deserve."
Arthur nodded. "In our similar situations I would ask you to marry me and to be my queen, I think you would be a good ruler, and you are a trusted friend. But that is not a question I can pose without Merlin. If you would be alright, could we explain matters to him?" Gwen nodded, and rose.
Arthur held the door for her. "Merlin is in the armory. Although perhaps we should get lunch from the kitchens. I don't much fancy going back to training on an empty stomach."
"I'll get us lunch, if you would like to collect Merlin. We could meet in your chambers?" Gwen suggested. Arthur nodded and practically skipped off towards the armory. Gwen watched him go in amusement, then headed off for the kitchens.
"Gwen! My goodness would you like some help with all of that?" Merlin took one of the trays she was carrying. "Arthur came to the armory and told me that there was lots to discus and you were coming with lunch for the three of us. Did he not offer to help?"
Gwen smiled at him. "I didn't ask. It didn't occur to me how heavy lunch for three would be." She laughed, and Merlin laughed with her. Soon they arrived at Arthur's chambers. Merlin entered first, greeting Arthur with a sarcastic;
"Thank you so much for all your help carrying everything sire."
Arthur looked slightly guilty, "Would you like some help Guinevere?"
Gwen set everything down on the table. "I think I'm fine now thank you though." Merlin mumbled something probably derogatory under his breath. A few minutes later the food was distributed, and Merlin opened conversation.
"So what are we talking about?" He asked looking from Arthur to Gwen, and back. Gwen looked at Arthur, and Arthur looked at Gwen. Gwen raised her eyebrows at Arthur, who slouched a little in his seat, but started to explain.
"I went to talk to Guinevere and explain my rather strange behavior." Arthur began. Merlin interrupted.
"What strange behavior."
Arthur sent him a look. Merlin's entire demeanor changed. He sat up straighter, and put down the bread he was eating. His face turned serious. Arthur nodded, and began to speak again. "Explained I was in a relationship with another man, and Guinevere . . ." He trailed off looking at her uncertainly. Merlin turned his unusually somber gaze on her as well.
"I explained to him that I already knew quite a bit, after I unintentionally was witness to your conversation outside the laundry last night." Gwen said. She wished Merlin wouldn't look quite so worried. She was his friend.
"So you know." Merlin unwittingly echoed Arthur's statement from Gwen and Arthur's previous conversation.
"Yes." Gwen said, then smiled at him kindly. "I don't mind Merlin. There is nothing wrong with love." He looked at her then, and smiled slightly.
"That's good to hear." He looked back at the table. Gwen glanced at Arthur, who was looking at Merlin with such love in his eyes that Gwen wondered if she had been blind to not see it before.
She broke the silence. "I still have questions. If one of you would like to explain, I would greatly appreciate it." Arthur looked back to her.
"Of course. I believe that having you as queen would benefit the country Guinevere. I can't give you my heart, but you are my friend, and I love you as such. I hesitate to ask this of you. If you would consent I would be honored." He said.
"You are my friend, and I love you as such in return Arthur. I cannot give you my heart, but I am content with our friendship, I am honored that you think so highly of me as to offer me a position as queen. I am happy and willing to oblige you." Gwen responded. "However we need not rush into this. For you are not yet King Arthur, and we not start this circus until you have need of my support as queen."
Arthur nodded. "I agree. When I am king, you shall be queen. Until then we may be content in our lives." At this point Merlin sat up from he had leaned back watching the conversation.
"No won't work." Gwen and Arthur looked at him twin confusion. Does he mean he cannot see Arthur married? Gwen wondered. Merlin saw that they didn't understand. "You expect everyone to think you decided to get married just like that? Nothing to do with each other, then suddenly, we're getting married!" He looked at them exasperated. "The people won't know any better but the knights and Morgana will! You have to start the circus now, while we can start it at the beginning."
"What is the beginning of the act then." Arthur asked.
Merlin looked at him, "Falling in love."
"But that was the original plan!" Arthur said immediately.
"No. it wasn't." Merlin corrected him. "The original plan was to actually fall in love. And that didn't work, which brings us here. But for the plan you suggested to work you have to convince everyone else that you are in love."
"I'm not sure I'm enough of an actor to do that Merlin." Arthur said doubtfully. Gwen privately agreed with his statement. If he planned to continue following her around as proof of his interest they might have to try something else entirely. Not to mention Gwen had to wonder about her own acting skills. Could she really convince the world she loved Arthur? Morgana at least would surely see right through her. How could she convince Morgana? Arthur was so much higher up in station than her. As friends they barely managed, how would they do as pretend lovers?
"Gwen?" Merlin asked. Gwen startled back into reality.
"I apologize. What was that?" She asked.
"Do you think you can do this?" Merlin and Arthur looked at her. Slowly she nodded.
"I will do my best."
They smiled. "That is all we could ask."
Author's Notes: Ok. I'm done with this story. I plan to write more in this verse, like Gwen's troubles with Lancelot, and her and Arthur's wedding.