Chapter 9-
Leoben-
As he flicked the light switch to the bedroom and plunged the room into darkness with the only light coming from a small light in the corner plug and moonlight streaming from a tiny gap in the navy blackout currents he reflected on his day. It was a habit, categorize everything, the good the bad the ugly, things accomplished and things left to do.
It wasn't all that he had thought it would be, the evening had not been planned to be in a downloading tank at all, but as always with Kara Thrace you had to expect the unexpected, that was not unusual with the woman. Her wild ways and habit of doing something totally unpredictable was one of the many things about her that drew him to her, a moth to flame, a lighthouse and the boats on the sea.
All in all though, it was not a perfectly horrible day, he had expected her resistance at first, he would have wondered what was wrong if she had not done it or attempted to. The fact she had struck so quickly after what had happened was what had unsettled him. Oversight on his part, he should have known better. It had been so good to see her again; every moment he spent with her was a precious gift from God. It was only a matter of time before she wanted to be held in his arms, he sensed it. It was a sixth sense of his, he just knew it would come to pass and that it would happen. Just like he knew that little girl was real, and that he was her father and Kara was undoubtedly her mother. And it was how he knew Kara Thrace would one day tell him she loved him. He knew.
As tired as he was, his body needed rest and the effects of downloading had extracted a heavy toll from the energy he could have, the only problem was he just couldn't sleep. His mind refused to quiet, thoughts kept him awake and plagued him without stopping for breath.. The pleasures of being an insomniac he thought sarcastically. Though he suspected his inability to get some shut-eye had something to do more with the woman in the room next door rather than his problem of not being able to fall asleep at a reasonable hour.
The small alarm clock on the dresser across the room declared the time to be one in the morning, the soft glow of the blue numbers. It was quiet, he had half expected Kara to try and kill him in the night. He nervously wondered how she was doing, she needed to rest and to take it easy Simon said. She would be tired out after the drug wore off but tomorrow morning she should be back to her old self.
Acting on a whim, he got out of bed and clad only in a pair of shorts to sleep in, he went to the closet and pulled down a pillow along with a soft blue pillow case to put it in. He went over to another part of the closet, and pulled down a warm fleece blanket in the same shade.
Leoben was very aware she could, and probably would, kill him for bothering her while sleeping, but he felt it was something he needed to do. Some of the other cylons had complained it got drafty in the living room and while he didn't know if it was true of his apartment or not, he didn't want her to become uncomfortable. A part of him of knew she was a soldier and she had slept in the colder temperatures outside for over a year or so, even so, he felt the need to make her comfortable. He didn't want her to be in pain or suffering ever again, Kara would have the best he could give her, she would never want for anything again.
With the things in his hands, he carefully stepped out the door as to not wake her if she was asleep. The main rooms were fairly dark; some of the kitchen appliances glowed ever so slightly but other than that he needed his memory to guide him to where she was sleeping on the couch in order to not trip over a table.
Leoben knew he could watch her forever, if he ever died permanently he wanted to come back as her guardian angel if God allowed him to do so. She was so beautiful; she was curled up into a ball, her knees bent and her arms tucked under her chin like some children would. Her blonde hair was splayed out and though she was fitfully sleeping, she looked so peaceful, granted she kept on shifting around and it was not a deep sleep, but it was sleep nevertheless. It was something he wanted to remember forever, she still had a certain fierceness to her, but she seemed calmer this way, it showed Kara for who she was, Starbuck slipped on over like body armor the second her eyes opened. It was rare for Kara to emerge.
He would have to be very careful or he would wake her and he knew she wouldn't like that very much at all. He certainly wouldn't and he should give her common curtsey, and the right to not be bothered while she was sleeping. That was off limits and a very big no. He would not do that to her, nor give her any reason to believe he did anything to her while she was asleep.
It was cool in here, goose bumps prickling up on his skin despite not being in here as long as she had. True she had on long pants, a jacket, shirt, socks, and much more than what he chose to sleep in but it was still cold in here. He unfolded the blanket and draped it over her, and made sure it covered her up completely, not wanting a chance for any of the cool air to get in and chill her. Next was the hard part. Gently he slid his hand under her head and slowly picked up her head; she shifted in her sleep but did not wake, for which he was thankful, she would not let herself to sleep for the rest of the night, and she needed sleep, the aftereffects of the drug still inside her system, while he gently placed the soft pillow under her head. Settling her back into her original position he felt much better, and maybe he would now be able to sleep.
He stood there for another minute or so, knowing he shouldn't just watch her sleep, but unable to tear himself away from her. His hand slowly went out and brushed a lock of blonde hair away from where it had fallen onto her pale face that no sun could darken.
"I love you Kara Thrace" he whispered into the night air "I really do." before turning his back on her and returning to his room. He still tossed and turned that night, but it was sleep, and when his alarm rang at seven in the morning he was rested better than no rest at all.
Sighing, he got up and moved around the bedroom, grabbing a pair of clothes to wear for the day and moving quietly to the bathroom as to shower. She had every right to be tired, and he didn't want to wake her up, come to think of it, was she even awake right now, just pretending to be asleep? He didn't look, despite the longing inside to look, as he slipped into the bathroom and quietly turned on the hot water.
When he was done and dressed for the day, he walked into the kitchen, debating what to make for breakfast. It was their first breakfast together, he wanted it to be worthwhile, and good. Cooking had not originally been in his line of memory but after practicing, trying and failing many times, he finally got to the point where he could make above average food. He wasn't a culinary mastermind, but he wasn't an idiot in the kitchen either.
Still trying to make as little noise as possible, he pulled out a frying pan and began to work on making bacon and eggs, simple but hopefully something she would end up liking. Only time would be able to help him in the arena of what she did like and what she would not like as he did not see her sitting down and debating food dishes with him anytime soon. He did hope she liked bacon though; personally, Leoben liked bacon very much.
Every so often while preparing the meal he would glance over at Kara where she was sleeping on the couch, Simon had warned him the drug would cause fatigue as an after effect but he had begun to worry about whether or not she was okay. Shouldn't she be up by now? Worry nagged at him without stopping, as many scenarios of what might and might not happen flew through his mind, each different idea becoming more impossible and outlandish with each one.
Deciding if she wasn't up by the time he was done making breakfast he would wake her up himself, there was supposed to be some fatigue, he could deal with it, he returned to scrambling the eggs, humming a melody under his breath. Yesterday had not been exactly what he had hoped for but it hadn't been all that bad and by ten this morning he was supposed to be down by the river helping the humans work on continuing their river canals, but he really hoped she would talk to him a bit this morning. He was not looking forward to instructing humans where to put things for the water purification systems. And making sure they didn't run off in the woods, or attack each other or himself. Than check through the prisons to make sure some cylons were not overstepping their authority. Leoben shook his head a bit, there would be no mention of work here, this was a good place with Kara and she did not need to listen to him complaining about how cylons bickered and argued like the humans most of them despised.
Out of the corner of his eye, Kara shifted in her sleep causing him to pause for a few moments. He would never be able to tell her how important she was to him, how much she meant to him, how much he loved her. Even if he did there were not words to convey just how much he valued her. Words couldn't capture it he thought, no word could come close to meaning what he felt.
As he stirred the eggs in the pan while periodically checking on the bacon in the pan next to it he sensed her waking up, the smell of food having made its way to her own senses. He knew it was not a wise move to constantly watch her, she had no reason to be on guard and he did not plan to give her a reason to be guarded in any way shape or form and if he watched her what felt like a great deal she would only increase her hostility.
Because killing you wasn't hostile enough a voice mocks in his head that sounds scarily like his brother Jared, that little voice that brought doubt and fear had always sounded like him in Leoben's head. It was cold, menacing and kind of laughing at him at the same time. Fears Kara wouldn't ever care about him had been preyed on by the other cylon many many times and yet, Leoben couldn't get him boxed.
God worked in strange ways, he could only presume he had some purpose for keeping Jared around.
Kara-
Kara felt much better this morning, her initial fatigue having worn off for the most part, and this time when she woke up she remembered everything that had happened. Her hands checked her pocket carefully just in case she was being watched and she breathed an inward sigh of relief that the blade of sharpened metal is still there in her pocket, just waiting for a use.
She noticed she had a pillow and blanket, something she had gone to sleep finally falling into darkness without. Leoben must have come in the middle of the night and given them to her, even though she said she didn't want any. Flashes of resentment coursed through her, he kidnapped her and than was being nice to her? What the frack?
Now the question to be added to the long list of questions she still had was who was he to do that? Why did he feel the urge to do that, or better yet who was he to do that? It was a nice gesture sure, but she could take care of herself, she had for years and she was not going to stop suddenly because she got thrown in some apartment she had to share with a cylon who would prattle on and on about streams, his one God, quote scriptures he shouldn't and say things he should not know. If he wanted to be nice, the only thing she could think of that would be nice right now was him letting her out, and the cylons packing up and leaving.
She fully took in her bearings around her, her back ached a little bit due to the couch being very firm and not comfortable to sleep on, she would need to stretch her muscles in her back. The clock on the wall said 7:40, sun was streaming into the curtains by the glass table and it felt peaceful.
It was the idea of domestic tranquility which is exactly why it was wrong. Everything in her was too neat, too color coded and matching. It was a far cry from the apartment she had, second hand furniture, paint on the walls everywhere, everything being battery operated due to the power companies keep on turning her power off.
Starbuck took in a deep breath and came back with the smell of bacon. It had been so long she had smelled bacon, let alone tasted it, and yet, there it was wafting through the air. She remembered when her and Zak had staid up one Friday night and played a game with how many odd things they would eat with bacon, Zak had loved bacon. She had never eaten it after all the funeral. It was one of those little things that reminded her of him in a daily basis, the first thing after getting back from the funeral was throwing it all out.
Green eyes found the cylon in the kitchen making the said bacon. He wasn't paying her any mind, just working away on breakfast. She wondered if he would hold food away from her, or what he would do if she didn't eat it.
It turned around and smiled a small smile when it saw she was sitting up and awake. After that he reached into a cupboard and pulled out some glasses, pouring, Gods was it orange juice, into the glasses. She briefly wondered where Leoben had gotten all this food, or maybe her mind really was playing with her head. Either way, how, after the worlds' end did one, long after it had happened, get things like bacon, orange juice, ham sandwiches, lettuce, bread and tomato? Did the cylons have some kind of ship that had all this stuff on it? If so why hadn't the colonials found said ship and taken all this stuff sooner?
Leoben placed the food on the table and she just watched it all with detached curiosity. He sat down when it was all finished and paused, his ice blue eyes studied her and she refused to flinch in his gaze. She would not show anymore weakness; yesterday throwing up had been it. No more episodes where the act of killing bothered her so much, it had been so much easier in a viper when her enemies didn't have faces, but when something in your hands stopped breathing, even if for a moment as it would come back later, it really crashed into her, she had never killed with her own bare hands before, it had frightened her, the horrors her hands had become, even if the fracker deserved it.
"You need to eat Kara." he said pleasantly, liked yesterday had never even happened. He acted as though nothing fazed him in the slightest, not even death or getting his head shoved in a water bucket. It was just another reminder of how inhuman they are Kara she reminded herself. The fact she had ever felt pity for him, it, even prayed for his soul to the Gods, was now forgotten by the fact she was sitting in his apartment with no way out.
Glaring she rose to her feet and slowly made her way to the table and before sitting down flat out asked him. "Why am I here? And no bullshit, the real answer." she kept her triad face on, her practiced mask in place to hide her own thoughts, her bluffs and frustrations while her eyes looked for any bluffs in his own face. She remained standing, it gave her some measure of control, even if that control was just a lie.
He stopped, his hand holding the glass of juice halfway to his mouth while he slowly put it down, her own plate of food, scrambled eggs and bacon, left untouched. She wouldn't let herself eat not until he gave her a Godsdamn straight answer. Or maybe she'd never eat, you just never knew. Maybe she would go on a hunger strike of her own, kill herself of starvation he couldn't stop her, but the question kept nagging her in the back of her mind what did he want, she couldn't fight a faceless enemy. She needed intel, and she needed it to form any kind of attack. Why was he being nice to her, why was she brought her instead of some other cell, it made no sense.
He sat considering his next move, whether to tell her flat out or leave her to come to the conclusion in her own time. After a few moments he looked like he was about to say something but than changed his mind only to re-open his mouth a full ten seconds later. His words had the feel of those spoken with care, carefully chosen with longer than normal pauses at the end of sentences.
"I knew the second I met you, you were special. Special to me and than there was your destiny. Your destiny and mine lay intertwined, the streams converge, and it is our destiny to be together, it is the way God wants it and even if he had not shown me what was to come, I fell in love with you anyway, and one day you'll love me too." He stops and takes a sip or orange juice while Kara herself is found for one of the few times in her life having nothing to say. What did one say to that, you're insane, you're crazy, I have a husband and I love him not you.
"No." She whispers softly, Kara shook her head her blonde hair flipping back and forth, her knuckles white against the chair that she was gripping. "No, it's never going to happen no," her mother had always told her no man would ever want her, she was only good for sex or flings, nothing like the stuff you read in romance novels. So how was she supposed to deal with a completely different kind of attack than the kind she had planned on? How did she make him let her go? Something made her think the whole 'if you love something let it go' was not going to work here. He had gone to all this trouble, kidnapping her, putting her in this apartment, making her breakfast, because he had some strange obsession with her? He said he loved her.
"Of course it's going to happen!" he said again with a force behind his tone, he had apparently argued this before, and the fact did not surprise her. Leoben mixes lies with truth, she had to find out what was real and what wasn't. "You're going to hold me in your arms, you're going to embrace me, you're going to tell me that you love me. I've seen it." He paused and his blue eyes found her own widened green ones, shock had managed to break through parts of her triad face and she turned away before she answered him. "You're lying, it's never going to happen."
Before he could say anything else she scampered up the stairs and opened the apartment door, easily opening the locks and moving out into the hall only to be faced with the only set of bars she was likely to see during her entire imprisonment. He loved her, she hadn't been able to see a bluff in the lines of his face and he seemed so serious, so convinced. He was insane, there was no other explanation for it, and she had nearly tortured him to death and would have finished the job had the current President of the time not intervened. Her hands had wrapped around his neck the day before and taken away his ability to breath, and yet, he loved her. No, he couldn't love her, Sam loved her, Lee had once loved her, Zak had loved her, the Admiral cared for her like family, her ship-mates all cared about her enough to miss her should she ever die, but not Leoben, she didn't return whatever emotion he thought he felt, and the part that scared her the most was he seemed willing to wait, willing to hold her there, for months, years the rest of her life, until she loved him too.
Kara searched the bars in vain for any kind of weakness, not that she expected one in the first place but just in case. Nothing, the bars were solid, and again they were shiny, her hands leaving fingerprints where she searched for any weakness in the bars. She threw herself at the bars in vain and pulled at them, yelling to be let out. Her cries fell on deaf ears as the hallway was free of people, her shoulder felt like it was on fire and she knew there was to be some lovely bruising there.
Hopelessly sinking down to the concrete floor her hands still clenched around the bars she began quietly "Lords of Kobol hear my prayer."