Dear Fanfiction Writers,

GASP! Beating my children! How could you even suggest such a thing! I mean, I know that they're completely useless, and bruises somehow make Éponine incredibly attractive to Enjolras, but I would neversadlf;kjfjasldf;j;aaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Kicked my husband away from the computer. He's such a liar. But he's so CUTE!

M. and Mme...what was it again?

Dear K,

Okay. I prove that the revolution will be successful. In 1848. It says so on WIKIPEDIA! Pay up.

Enjolras

Dear PurpleMissAliceWhitlock,

1. BARF.

2. She would have flaming red hair, sparkling blue eyes and carry a French flag. Duh.

3. It's not a question of seriousness as much of sanity.

4. Well...it was raining. Also, she was THE FIRST OF US TO FALL...THE FIRST OF US TO FALL UPON THIS BARRICADE.

Enjolras

Dear Guest (1),

1. You will NEVER KNOW! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

2. Grantaire's too drunk to explain.

3. I try to avoid that vile 'Fanfiction' place as much as possible. I think the writers of it are posessed by the devil. And Louis-Philippe.

4. I have interest in PATRIA! Also, Katniss Everdeen.

Enjolras

Dear Guest (2),

Your letter made me crack up.

Because...is the first part related to the second part?

Yes, kissing Enjolras was exactly like death.

Eponine

Dear Eponine Jondrette,

First of all, argot for 'police' is actually 'cognes'. But I refuse to give away any more of our trade secrets.

Feng shui is...this...thing...it's Chinese, and it has to do with...like, moving stuff around to give the place a better atmosphere. Or something.

Pshaw is saying, like, "Nonsense!" But people said it a long time ago and if you use it people will give you weird looks like they give the authoress.

Ah...I'm always worried when my voice gets horse after drinking likker. Um...I have no idea what that sentence is supposed to mean. My voice gets hoarse after drinking liqour...izzat what you meant?

I am 'Ponine. Are you talking about me to...me?

Eponine

A/N: I watched POTO (the movie...) and IT HAD RAMIN KARIMLOO! EEEEEEE!

True, he had a five-second blurry role in a flashback in which we didn't see his face, but...

HE WAS THERE! YAY, RAMIN! I LOVE YOU!