A/N: Guess what? I have realized how incredibly creepy Éponine/Javert is! That's right, ladies and gentlemen, as of 8:35 PM on April 18th, 2013, I have LEFT THE SHIP.
You can fear *slightly* less for my sanity now.
Sticking by Cosette/Enjolras, though. Also, I have discovered new people to ship each of them with! My secondary ships now include Javat (Javert/His Hat) and Grant...onine? Need to think about that one. But yeah, R/Éponine. Reponine? NO. Anybody have a good name?
Dear Enjolras
What's your mistress' address? What's yours? Do you live together? I sobbed all night because of your..urrrrrr.. Patria. Why did u have a bad day? Did they force you to kiss Eponine? Or something secretive awesomer thing? *wink* I promise not to write rated T stuff here! Happy!?
(submitted by preciousat)
Dear preciousat,
*facedesk*
Patria is not a person. She is my country. 'Patria' means 'fatherland'. You got that? (if I get one letter asking me why I'm in love with my father...bad things will happen.)
-Enjolras
P.S. And the reason I'm having a bad day is that EVERYONE KEEPS WRITING TO ME!
Dear Éponine,
Using just two words each, how would you summarise the following people?:
Cosette
Marius
Gavroche
Enjolras
Grantaire
Thenardier
Grantaire
Azelma
SociallyAwkwardUnicorn
Dear SociallyAwkwardUnicorn,
Cosette- Pretty, Lucky
Marius- Handsome, Perfect
Gavroche- Cute, brave
Enjolras- Handsome, Fearless
Grantaire- Drunk, Sarcastic
Thenardier- Cruel, Crafty
I already did R...you put him in twice...
Azelma- Hyper, Annoying
-Éponine.
Dear R,
It's a shame you don't know half of the drinks I've mentioned... Some of them have twice the alcohol content of absinthe without the horrid taste and do not cause hangovers! :) I'll try and send a few bottles to you. And we could bond over the wonderful world of booze while pissing Enj off. :D
p.s. You should ask Feuilly how the Polish mix spirytus in beverages.
p.p.s. beer keg or wine cask? I love you!
(submitted by Thornspike)
Yes, do that.
-R
Dear Joly (yes, you!),
Are you regularly taking your meds? Can you diagnose Azelma? Does she have ADHD or HPD? Don't worry, it's not contagious! But if it'll come a time where she's literally bouncing off walls, are you willing to sedate her?
(submitted by Thornspike)
Thornspike-
Of course I'm regularly taking my meds! And I think Azelma has ADHD plus she is hyperactive. And what exactly do you mean by sedate? If it's the medical term, then yes.
-Joly
Dear Courfeyrac,
Can you give us a length explanation for the nicknames please?
Darci
Ha! I lied. I'm not giving away my secrets.
-Courfeyrac
Dear Psycho,
There's this one interview with Aaron Tveit where he does show you how to pronounce the name Enjolras.
Darci
Dear Darci,
Awesome. Guys, go check this out to figure out if what I said last chapter is true. I would go watch it myself, but I'm listening to Into the Woods and I kind of don't want to have to turn it off...
-Psycho
Dear Combeferre,
What's your favorite book?
Darci
Dear Darci,
I'm rather partial to "The Magic Tree House" by Mary Pope Osbourne, but Psycho keeps talking about some French book she insists I need to check out...
-Combeferre
Dear Enjolras,
Why is your vest red and yellow? Why not Red and Black?
Eppy Liz's sister Reese xx
Dear Peanut Butter Squares,
Don't question The Vest.
-Enjolras
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD WHO GAVE AZELMA MY SECRET STASH OF COCA COLA?! DANGIT, AUTHOR, I CAN'T TELL YOU WHERE I HIDE ANYTHING!
-JC, the one who is angry with the author.
Dear JC,
Mwa ha ha ha ha. Besides, everyone but you and Azelma knows Pepsi is far, far, better.
-Psycho, the one who is Psycho. Doy.
Dear Azelma,
you didn't answer any of the questions I had asked you! Girl you need to com down and read the letters we all write to you. We all write to you with a reason, do we not? I know it's really exciting and everything but... At least answer next chapter, okay?
(submitted by Eponine Jondrette)
Dear Eponine Jondrette,
Whatever.
-Azelma
Dear Eponine Jondrette,
What form of magic did you use to get her to turn off caps lock?
-Everyone Else
Dear Combeferre,
Since no one has been writing to you, hi. Out of curiosity, do you ever really need to calm Enjolras down and make him see reason (happens a bit in various fanfictions), and is it true that you two are best friends?
(submitted by Mormeril Dark Lady of Insanity)
Dear MDLoI,
Oh, all the time. And yes. Where he represents the something of the revolution, I represent the something. Or something. I think he might be the...ideals...and I'm the...philosophy?
-'Ferre Bear (as Psycho affectionately calls me)
Dear Couf: dawwww, you can call me what ever you like sweetie :) i must say, i am extremly curious to hear the stories behind the nicknames
Peanut Butter: hey, i wrote a poem about some of you guys! You interested at all in hearing them? I have one about each of you, based off of how the book describes you, and with what ive gathered from the movie.
Gavroche: hey honey, i have a very special present for you *holds out fluffy elephant plushie that makes noise and is holding a cookie*
Eponine: if you had to be stuck on a deserted island, with the les amis, how long would it take you to go insane?
Love Melody Saxon
Dear Melody,
Sure! You should publish them.
-(sigh) Peanut Butter
! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
-Gavroche
Dude. I'd be the only sane one THERE.
-Éponine
Dear Enjolras,
Do you ever quote the American Revolution in your speeches? You know like ' Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!' And 'I only regret that i have but one life to lose for my country.' Thinks like that.
(submitted by SnowWhitexPrinceCharming)
Dear SWPC,
Hm. I'm not sure... I quote so many people in my speeches...
-Enjolras
Dear Eponine and Enjolras
YOU SHOT MY OTHER LETTER! You guys are rude. Ooh that's something you have in common! That's why you should be like Marius and Cosette and sing a Heart Full of Love and get married!
Love K
Dear K,
Now you're just having fun messing with us.
-Enjolras and Éponine
Azelma, you're cute with nobody.
E/E Forever! And don't nag me Azelma. Or Enjolras and Eponine. Technically, there's E/E in forEvEr.
(submitted by Guess Who)
Dear Guess Who,
And nEvEr.
-Enjolras and Éponine
Dear Les Amis,
Andres Bonifacio's flag was also red. The only differences between you and him is that 1) he didn't build a barricade, 2) he was betrayed by a fellow member (it's as serious as Marius reporting Enjolras to the Police or something) and 3) he didn't have a revolution theme song. He just wrote a poem called "My Country" (or Bayan Ko in the local language.)
I like learning useless facts. But then, it's probably not useless to the Filipinos.
-MyNameIsLuka
Dear MyNameIsLuka,
Now Enjolras wants to meet this guy...is he alive?
-Les Amis
Enjolras- as a nickname what would you call every les miz character every one it can be mean if that's what you would use.
Gavroche- your Elephant is awesome I want to live in one. You are my favourite! Whose your favourite Amis?
Azelma- do you ever not go crazy when some one writes to you?
Fantine- no one ever writes to you. If you had more children what would be their names? Do you ever talk with Eponine when your in heaven? Can we be friends cos you're awesome!
(submitted by Anna)
EVERY one? For the Psycho's convenience I am only doing the first ten she thinks of.
Alright.
Éponine-Shadow, because she used to follow Marius everywhere.
R-Winecask, because he is always drunk. I made that one up already, but I don't care. I'm just answering your letter.
Cosette- she already has one. The Lark.
Jean Prouvaire-Jehan. I am not Courfeyrac. You should have asked Courfeyrac this question.
Courfeyrac-Peanut Butter. Because he calls Jean that and no one knows why. (I know why...:) -Psycho)
Fantine-Um, blondie, because the authoress wishes it.
Louis-Philippe-I don't care that he wasn't in La Brique much. The Pear.
Robespierre!-I don't care that he wasn't in La Brique at all. Monsieur Génial .
Feuilly-Fan-boy. I mean, How can you not?
-Enjolras
I know! Éléphants are AWESOME. Um, I guess Courfeyrac is my favorite.
-Gavroche!
NO!1
-AZELMA!1!1!1!
Are these my kids with Felix or Jean? If it was with Felix he would probably make me name them all after him...with Jean I would want to name them all after him because He Rocks. And I do know Éponine...in fact, she came with me to collect Jean's soul...that sounds evil. Whatever.
-Fantine
dear Cosette,
1. Are you really a blond or brunette? Because in the movie your a blond but in the book your a brunette.
2. If you were to have a chance to befriend Eponine, would you befriend her?
3. What would you do if Marius got sick? You know just wondering
4. At what age did your mother leave you in the inn? Thank you
(submitted by Chanty 420)
Dear Chanty 420,
1. I am a brunette...but I think I have blond highlights (natural!) or something...
2. Of course! Everyone deserves the great gift of friendship! My Daddy told me so!
3. Er...take him to a doctor?
4. I was a year and a half...it makes me sad that I didn't get more time with her.
-Cosette
To Fantine- Just wondering, are you really a brunette or a blond? Because you know, Anne Hathaway is a brunette but your describe as a blond, so yeah what?
To Azelma- I'm writing to you, so hi!
To Enjolras- who was the first les amis that you met? And what was your reaction when you realized that Marius was in love?
(submitted by Chanty 420)
I am a blonde, thank you very much. ;) I am very proud of my hair as well.
-Fantine
HI! OHMIGOSH THIS IS SOOOOO FUNNN!
LOVE AZELMA!
I first met Combeferre because we went to university together. And when Marius fell in love, not only was I shocked, but rather upset because he wasn't prioritizing the revolution. And, may I just say, thank you for writing a normal letter and not one screaming for me to kiss Éponine.
-Enjolras
To everyone in Les Mis (including you Derek), What do you think of RainWillMakeTheFlowersGrow? Phew that was a mouthful or handful whatever. Better be honest!
(submitted by Fight Dream Hope Love 3)
I love her! I mean, she NOTICED me!
-Derek
I HATE HER. SHE SHIPS ME WITH ENJOLRAS! Half of her, anyway.
-Éponine
I HATE HER. SHE SHIPS ME WITH ÉPONINE! Half of her, anyway.
-Enjolras
I HATE HER. SHE MAKES FUN OF THE LAWRRRRRRRRR.
-Javert
I dunno. I mean, she gives me cookies.
-Gavroche
Yes, I like her. What's not to like? She doesn't have any weird ships with me, and half of her has a crush on me. *blushes*
-Jean Prouvaire
She never writes about me. Unless she is pretending I'm katniss everdeen. (Shameless self-advertisement: see les miz- the improv version by me)
-Jean Valjean
I love her! *eyebrow wiggle*
-Courfeyrac
I do not play the triangle! (See à band les by Enjolras, combeferre, Courfeyrac, and Feuilly) but other than that, no problèmes i guess.
-Combeferre
I AM NOT AN IDIOT! NUU!
-Marius
I, um, am All Nice, but I don't love Enjolras...other than that, no..
-Cosette
Ub, i'b sig. So i dont know.
-Joly
Why not? I like her.
-Fantine
I LIKE EVERYBODDYYYYY!
-AZELMA!
Um, Why not? Oh, and can we please have some money for this kid? Please?
-The Thénardiers
I like wine. Is she wine? Or Enjolras? Then no.
-R
Non! Elle est TRÈS TRÈS TRÈS FOLLE!
-Victor Hugo
Valjean - Why do you keep having identity crisises (if thy is a word)? I mean, first you start singing WHO AM I? really loudly, an then you feel the need to change your name a BAJILLION MORE TIMES! (Slight exaggeration, but... Whatever).
Éppy Liz who's sister has let her share her fanfiction account! WHOOPEE!
Dear Éppy Liz who's sister has let her share her fanfiction account! WHOOPEE!,
This isn't Valjean...but if it was do you realize that this is the FIRST FRIGGIN LETTER TO THE FRIGGIN MAIN CHARACTER?
-Fauchelemadejeanmathieumysteriousmaninyellowcoat (Spellcheck would like to inform me that that is not a word.)
Dear Marius,
Do you think that if you'd never met Cosette, something more would have happened between you and Éponine?
SociallyAwkwardUnicorn
Dear SociallyAwkwardUnicorn,
I didn't really know Éponine very well except for the fact that she went and found Cosette for me...so, no.
-Marius
Dear Éponine
Have you ever been as drunk as Grantaire? Is it even possible to beat him in a drinking contest?
SociallyAwkwardUnicorn
Dear SociallyAwkwardUnicorn,
Yes, and yes. Sadly.
-Grantaire Who Owes Éponine Eighty Francs
Dear everyone:
Does peanut butter even exist in 19th century France?
(submitted by Elodie . Haven)
Dear Elodie,
Yes...but sadly, not until, like, the 1880s. Oh, well. Anachronism or whatever it's called, I guess.
-Everyone
Well, it seems that I'm lucky 200th reviewer :D I should get reward for that! You already know, what I will ask for, aren't you? So...
Dear Enjolras and Eponine,
Sing together "Heart Full Of Love"! (I stole idea from K, I'm sorry, but it's for our common goal!)
And Enjolras, please, don't destroy this letter. You know, 200th letter is special, and you should be nice at least one time.
YouKnowWho (even if you don't know who I am)
Dear YouKnowWho,
Yes, we do know what you're going to ask for! And we went ahead and got it for you. Unfortunately, we had such a hard time going into the future and killing Harry Potter (those house elves can be vicious) that we didn't have time to read the rest of your letter before that nosy factory lady stole it. (She steals everyone's mail.) Hope it wasn't too important...oh well, here's Harry's head. Do with it what you like.
-Enjolras and Éponine
Dear Enjolras,
I have several question here:
1. Do you still don't care about Marius lonely soul?
2. What's your personal opinion about Éponine? ( I'm not trying ship you guys! please don't destroy this letter!). Do you think she's pretty? be honest!
3. Who's portray Enjolras better between Ramin Karimloo (les mis 25th anniversary concert) and Aaron Tveit (les mis movie)?
vivé la france!
sincerely,
Raya
Dear Raya,
1. Who does?
2. Dirty. A bit pretty, I guess.
3. I like to think that I am the best portrayal of Enjolras...:D...
Vive la France!
-Enjolras
A/N: I love you guys! So much! 200 reviews! I didn't really expect to reach that this chapter...
Darci the Thespian: Thanks again...I feel so loved.
SnowWhitexPrinceCharming: You're awesome! Guys, SWPC put Derek in her fanfic...it's awesome...go read...
Om: Sad! But what did you think of Cinderella's prince and his fluffy Marius-hair? Florinda and Lucinda also had very poofy hair, but it wasn't nearly as Marius-y.
You Know Who You Are: Please, please, please turn off your French spellcheck! I will do anything...ANYTHING, I SAY! Except not really.
Also...I want to know...who would you ship Derek with, and why...and who would be your ideal Derek actor? I would ship him with Éponine because of because and Robert Madge would be my ideal actor...of course, he's my idea everything...(three and a half months to his birthday, guys! I'm so excited!)
See y'all...hopefully...
-Psycho!