So a few weeks later, after Kelly had gotten settled back into work and her routine of life, the big day was finally here. It was the day of Kelly's ultrasound, and neither her nor Ryan knew what to expect.
Kelly kept joking about twins, but Ryan just nodded his head and went along with her dreams. What he hadn't told her- or anyone- was that he was scared. Very scared. He had a bad feeling that this pregnancy might not be what his girlfriend expected it to be, but he kept those thoughts to himself. He'd already crushed enough of her dreams- how could he bring himself to tell her that he thought that their baby might be deformed or otherwise damaged by the pills she took?
He knew he'd been accused of being heartless on many occasions, but after the scare with Kelly, he vowed that he would change. Obviously things between them needed to change. He'd come to realize that he either needed to let Kelly go completely or commit to her. It wasn't easy, and it had taken a lot of soul searching, but he'd come to realize that Kelly and he belonged together, for better or for worse. Somewhere down the line he planned on proposing, but that wouldn't be until after he found out that their child was okay.
Kelly was nervous- you could tell by her endless chatter during the prepartion for the ultrasound. She was her normal, bubbly, cheerful self, the one that he had missed and definitely opposite of who he'd seen in the hospital. Ryan realized that this was a big day for her. It was the day she'd been dreaming of ever since her sister died. Who was he to crush her dreams by filling her head with doubt and fright?
"So, Kelly, this is your first child?" The doctor smiled as he applied the cool gel to her bare stomach.
"Yes, isn't it so exciting? Ryan and I have been waiting for this day like for forever!" she giggled.
The doctor looked at Ryan, who just went along with everything Kelly had been saying.
He wouldn't be reassured until the doctor told them that everything looked good, that their baby had ah healthy heartbeat and that everything would be okay for Kelly's pregnancy.
He noticed. He noticed the doctor's frown, whereas Kelly was too busy talking to notice. But Ryan did, and he had a sinking feeling that his worst fears were about to be confirmed.
"Now Kelly, how are you feeling?" The doctor asked. "Any more thoughts of harming yourself? Any thoughts of harming others?"
"No, gosh, all I want is this baby and nothing else matters. I've got it all planned out. Her name will be Bailey after Ryan and she will have dark hair and his blue eyes. She will be a happy baby, because she's going to know how much her mommy and daddy love her. She will be absolutely perfect, right Ryan?"
He avoided eye contact with his girlfriend. "How is the baby, doctor?"
"Well, Kelly, as you know it's too soon to find out if it's a girl. But I must warn you... I'm seeing something that I don't like."
"What? What are you talking about? Oh my gosh is something wrong with my baby?" Kelly began to cry, and for once Ryan wished he hadn't been right about something, not something so important.
"Kelly and Ryan, your baby will be born with a birth defect."
"Oh my, does it mean it has twelve toes or something? We can live with that, can't we, Ry?"
Ryan stared at the doctor.
"Kelly, I'm afraid your baby has a hole in its heart. It will need immediate surgery after its born and several times more as it gets older. This requires great responsibily. Are you sure you both are up to the challenge of raising a handicapped child?"
Kelly nodded vigorously. "I just want my poor baby to be okay. I'll do everything you ask. I'll keep every doctor's appointment, follow all the rules, read every book. Just tell me it will be okay," she pleaded in a way even Ryan hadn't heard before.
"With proper medical care there is no reason why your child can't live a long and healthy life. But you need to take good care of yourself during this time. Try to eat healthy. Take your vitamins- those will be important. And Mr. Howard, are you prepared to support your girlfriend during this trying time?"
All eyes were on Ryan as he thought about what he wanted to say. "I won't ever leave her side," he finally settled on saying.
"Good. Let's get you some pamphlets before you leave and your vitamins, and I'll see you in a month."
"Oh, doctor, what about work?" Ryan asked a little too quickly.
"I don't see why she shouldn't be able to work. Kelly's in great health and it might do her some good to keep her mind off of things for a while. You're there, so you will be able to keep an eye on her. Just try to make this pregnancy an enjoyable one for her."
Ryan nodded, not knowing if he were up to the task asked of him. But he would try, he really would. He had come to realize how much he loved Kelly, and would protect her, even if there were nothing he could do for their child at the moment. He'd never felt this helpless, not even when Kelly was in the hospital. This was his kid, his child, and no matter how hard it got, he would love his baby, no matter what.