Bonjour Readers! yes, this is Marseillais updating (for the first time of this one)! I am the nonitalicized person. But i have a NAME. It's Marseillais. If you want to know how i got this, please ask and i will be DELIGHTED to tell yuou. unforutently i am crunched for time and cant do it right now. So...V'la (with accent grave)
Oy. Psycho here. I'm editing this because Marseillaise (which she continues to spell wrong) made it really hard to read and I'm one of those people who's, like, a grammar NAZI and I'm in charge of the layout of my school newspaper, and, yeah, just in general I'm a bit of a perfectionist. Anyhoo. Happy birthday, Marseillaise!
Congratulate us, guys, for P and M took first and third place in our county wide short story contest, respectively. (This is out of over a hundred entries.) Also congratulate Om for winning last year. We're just all around awesome, aren't we?
I'd just like to tell all of you that if you get anywhere near my freaking Coca Cola, which Psyco who is mean swapped with a bunch of Pepsi, I'm going to kill you all with my brown hat of hatness.
Eponine, please keep your stupid sister away from my stash. I need my caffeine. I HAVEN'T HAD CAFFEINE ALL DAY BECAUSE MY MOTHER BOUGHT GRAPE SODA AND IT IS CAFFEINE FREE AND I AM GOING TO DIE.
-JC, the one with a brown hat of hatness. (submitted by JCBoLt)
Dear JC,
Um…we won't touch your stash again. Really.
-Psycho and Marseillais
(JK, not really. -Psycho)
JC-
I'll try…
-Éponine
Dear R,
When did you realize that you love Enjolras?
Dear Enjolras,
Y'know, you remind me of Aaron Tveit.
Dear Éponine,
If you could vote, out of all of the Amis-not including Marius or Enjolras-who would you vote for to be president? (submitted by JoanneValjean)
JoanneValjean
Umm…IDK…this is awkward…
-R
JoanneValjean-
No, really?
-Enjolras (Who by the way has blue eyes. Not brown.)
JoanneValjean-
Derek! Obviously.
-Éponine
Dear Ponine and Jorlas
You both agree on something! Yay! Soon you'll be singing a heart full of love and then get married and be just like Cosette and Marius!
Love k
PS I'm having so much fun messing with you!
K-
…When that happens, I will go yell vive la roi to everyone. Precisely: never.
Enjolras
K-
NO.
Éponine
Dear Enjolras,
YOU KILLED HARRY POTTER ARGHAAHAHKDFJNVKSMWNDNC I'm taking your vest away until you apologize.
Darci
Dear Pyscho,
Hmmmm how about Granine? Epontaire? Their names don't really match up. Derek and Azelma?
Darci
Dear Courfeyrac
That was a bit rude saying you'll tell the story and then refusing.
Darci
Darci-
YOU CAN'T DO THAT. GIVE IT BACK OR I WILL KILL GINNY TOO.
-Enjolras
Darci-
Well, this is Marseillais updating, so….mwahahaha I vote Éponine/Enjolras, Enjonine, Éponine/Sydney Carton, Sydnine. I made that last one up!
-Marseillais
EPONINE/ERIK! FOREVER! Because they're both stalkers and rather insane.
-Psycho
Darci-
Heehee!
-Courf
Dear Everyone:
Andreas Bonifacio is not alive he live in the 1800's too...duh! Yeah I have a crush on him before I realize Enjolras is more awesomer! (MyNameIsLuka your awesome to know Philippine histoire like me.. I'M a Filipino too)
Dear Preciousat-
WELL WE ARE AWESOME TIME TRAVELING MANIACS SO WE CAN MEET HIM. HAHA.
Everyone
Dear Eponine:
Where do you buy ur clothes? Forever 21? Your Corset is lovely... 50 francs for it? I love my waist to be that small
Preciousat-
Um…
Éponine
Dear Cosette:
I hate ur bonnets...period
Preciousat-
Well everyone hates me. So I think I might just hate you too.
-Cosette :P
Dear Enjolras:
You're a meanie... I hate you. Go stare Eponine in a CORSET the whole day... And you'll see that that's the worst day in YOUR LIFE. Don't let Courfeyrac tho
Preciousat-
Go. Away. Before. I. Kill. You. Actually, stay right there so I CAN kill you.
Enjolras
Dear Joly:
OMMITED BECAUSE OF NON K+ RATED IMPLICATIONS
Preciousat-
K+! K+! K+!
-Joly and Marseillais
Im baaaacccck! I really liked this chapter, very well thought out and long! On to teh letters XD
Couf: :0 Why did you lie to me? I was really looking forward to the explinations! Can you at least tell me the story behind peanut butter? Please!
Feuilly: im a bit confused hun, how do you pronounce your name? Ive heard it lik 5 different ways
Montparnasse: whats your story? I know that you are described as "robust, handsome, and ferocious", but thats about it
Legle: which of your nicknames do you like best?
And finally, to my peanut butter ;p im going to send my poems toRWMTFG because something is wrong with my account, and i hevent been able to post anything in a while. So look forward to seeing them sometime soon c:
Oh, i almost forgot...oh Enjolras...YOU ADMITED THAT EPONINE IS PRETTY! Therefore, you have no right to hate on those who ship you with her! BOSH! That just happened XD
love you guys,
Melody Saxon
Melody-
Only if you and at least five other people promise to give me moneyydsuyaolg..;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; GET OFF MY LAPTOP THENARDIER. AND NO, I'M NOT TELLING.
-Courf
Melody-
It's Foy-eeh. For real. Like, in France.
-Feuilly
Melody-
I am robust, handsome, and ferocious. Duh.
Montparnasse.
Melody-
Dumbledore. As Courfeyrac calls me.
-Bossuet (and thanks for writing to me! I think Montparnasse feels the same way but he is to ferocious to say it…)
Melody-
Aw, thanks! They were lovely.
Love and flowers,
Jean Prouvaire
Melody, or Whomever you might be-
THERE IS A DIFFERENCE IN THINKING SOMEONE IS PRETTY AND LIKING THEM, OKAY? DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?
-Enjolras
Enj,
Your nickname is oficially Enj. And by the way, there is totally something going on between you and Eponine. I can smell the sexual tension from here. So, I conclude:
Eppy and Enjy sitting in a tree
K-I-S-S-I-N-G
Fist comes love, then comes marriage
Then comes the baby in the baby carriage
That's not it, that's not all
Cuz' the baby's drinking alcohol
Worry not, he won't get far, I think it ain't bunk
He's just on the path to being drunk!
Much love (but not as much as Eppy and Enj),
-Meredith
Meredith-
Die in a hole. THERE IS NOTHING. And it's Enjolras, not…that other nickname. SO GO AWAY AND STOP ANNOYING ME.
- Enjolras
Meredith-
Can I get in on the alcohol drinking?
-R
Dear Enjolras,
I am totally in love with you? Wanna go to vegas and get married?
(submitted by Thespian24601)
Yes! That would be fun! I can'asdflsggggggggo'''''''''''''''''''' HOW MANY TIMES TO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO GET OFF MY LAPTOP, COURFEYRAC? GEEZ, YOU WERE COMPLAINING ENOUGH ABOUT THENARDIER GETTING ON YOURS, YOU FILTHY HYPOCRITE! AND NO.
-Enjolras
Victor Hugo,
Whut? VICTOR HUGO WROTE TO ME?!KNXBabjhabbckbadvjobavdinavjnainsjichqsfmbajba jdbckajsbhcihbdachjsbicajsacd! I feel like Azelma now...
Joly,
What would you do if everyone in Les Amis got sick except you? and you were locked up and stuck with them?
(submitted by Fight Dream Hope Love 3)
Dear FDHL3,
Azelma. I regret ever creating that child. Anyhoo, I'm going to go do whatever it is old dead French guys do...namely, being dead. So bye.
-Victor Hugo
Dear FDHL3,
I would get sick, too. And then we would all die a slow, painful death, like being dropped in a vat of boiling oil while the Wickersham brothers shot bananas at you and your tiny friends who live on a speck, and a small child who is the son of the mayor of said speck and a purple kangaroo child would be your only hope of surviving. Only worse, because although there would probably be a purple kangaroo child (Bahorel tends to carry them around with him) it would be unlikely that there would be a speck, its mayor, or his son.
Duh.
-Joly
He would probably kill himself. Trust me, I know him.
-Bossuet
Enjolras and Éponine,
Why do you guys hate ENJONINE so much? how about Épolras?
-TheCabFanforLIFE
TCFLIFE,
WE HATE ANY AND ALL SHIPS WITH ANY AND ALL CHARACTERS OTHER THAN PATRIA (ENJOLRAS) AND MARIUS OR DEREK (ÉPONINE)!
-Enjolras and Éponine
OK, first of all, I just want to point out I wrote to JVJ several chapters ago...
Dear Enjolras:
What is it with your obsession with Robespierre? I mean, I understand he fought against slavery and for the republic and everything, but you do realize he was a de facto dictator responsible for up to 40000 deaths (and the majority of his victims were a part of France's common people)?
(submitted by Elodie Haven (Marseillais would like to inform you that she cannot put the dot in because ff thinks it's a link…silly fanfiction…))
Elodie-
He was wonderful! And have you remembered the fact that those deaths were bourgeois scum anyway? Vive Robespierre!
-Enjolras
OK, JUST LETTING YOU KNOW THAT WE STILL DON'T LIKE UN K+RATED THINGS. A REMINDER TO ALL OUR LOVELY REVIEWERS, THIS FANFICTION IS RATED K+ AND WE CAN ONLY ANSWER LETTERS THAT HAVE NO SWEARWORDS, SUGGESTIVE IMPLICATIONS OR THEMES, OR OTHER SUCH NON K+ RATED MATERIAL. WE UNDERSTAND THAT WE ARE RATHER STRICT ABOUT THIS, BUT SERIOUSLY, PEOPLE, IF THERE ARE LIKE, TEN YEAR OLDS (what? They could!) READING THIS, WE DON'T WANT THEM TO STOP READING BECAUSE OF UN K+ RATED STUFF. PLEASE, PLEASE, KEEP IT CLEAN, PPL. THANK YOU,
Marseillais (this is my first update of this story…usually I just email her all my letters (we divide them equally) and she updates them…im so happy!) and Psycho (don't ask why she wanted this name…the National Anthem Of France is much better than a crazed killer….) ALL PSYCHOS ARE NOT KILLERS. AND YOU ARE FREAKING SPELLING IT WRONG AND YOU ONLY NAMED YOURSELF THAT BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO BE COOL LIKE ME. You know it!
Dear Enjy,
Don't call me Peanut Butter Squares. If you call me Peanut Butter Squares, I call you Enjy. We clear?
So anyway, in the movie, why is the barricade so freakin' small!?
Reese -.-
Reese-
Well I am sorry you think that way, perhaps you shouldn't have named yourself after a candy. And if you call me Enjy it is a death wish.
-Enjolras
Dear Derek,
Why were you dancing with Maria?
(submitted by Om)
Dear Om,
Um….What do you mean? Me? With Maria? Uhm…
-Derek
WHAT?! WHO IS THIS MARIUS? I mean Maria…
-Éponine
Dear éponine, witch do you like better, your character is in la brick, or la musical? Oh, and Marius, did you know that originally that éponine came to you and asked to do your bidding? Gavroche, on the original french concept album there is a song that you sing both on that album and in the book and I was wondering what that song is called?
(submitted by Éponine Jondrette)
Dear Eponine Jondrette,
The musical, cuz I'm so much more...you know, nice...and way prettier.
-Éponine
Dear EJ,
Funnily enough, I did know that. I was there, y'see.
-Marius
Dear EJ,
I like to call it, 'Powa to da MUNCHKINS!' but that idiot Boublil decided to name it 'La Faute a Rousseau' or something...I dunno, isn't it listed on the album?
-Gavroche
Dear Fantine,
What do you think of the Jean Valjean/Fantine ship?
(submitted by Guest…who Marseillais(me) is going to call Amir just because she likes the name and has decided to give all unspecified Guests random French names, in alphabetical order starting with A)
Dear Amir,
Well…actually…I like it. Quite a bit. And Jean does too…
Sincerely,
Fantine
Enjolras,
Who would you rather be paired up with?
A) Grantaire
B) Éponine
C) A random fangirl of you...
and Andres Bonifacio is dead... but you're dead also... so I think you'll be able to meet him *cough*MyNameIsLukaIdefinitelythinkIknowyou! *cough*
-Celestique
Celestique-
NONE OF THEM! HONESTLY, PEOPLE! PATRIA PATRIA PATRIA!
-Enjolras
Definitely Éponine. They would be so cute! They could have little baby revolutionaries with little red flags!
-Courfeyrac
Dear Enjolras,
Why are you in love with your father?
I just wanna see bad things happen. Sorry, I'm not sorry.
Curious Nobody
Dear Nobody,
*shoots you*
-Enjolras
Dear Enjolras,
Please call my sister Peanut Butter Squares as much as you like. Her face was funny. Like, very funny. My crazy friend and I were laughing for half an hour. And that is NOT an exaggeration. Just ask Mina.
On second thoughts, don't ask Mina. She doesn't like you.
Eppy Liz xx
Eppie Liz,
I will not call your sister Peanut Butter Squares if she does not wish it. I know how annoying nicknames can be.
-Enjolras
A/N: Aw, now wasn't that so much better than it was before? My OCD can rest easy now. Also, Om! Are you another member of the Society of Rabid Admirers of Underrated Lovers? Vive him! VIVE HIM, I SAY! And, sadly, 'The Marmalade Murders' does not actually exist...'The Crumpet Crime' does, though...
I won't keep on telling you every time I publish a new story, but my POTO oneshot needs some love...it's called Haunted...so please go check it out? Please please please please?
-Psycho