So the baby was born, true to the doctor's prediction Bailey Jane Howard was born with a hole in her heart. Instead of Kelly getting to hold her, the doctors whisked Bailey off for surgery. Kelly was a mess, to say the least.
It appeared to Ryan that the truth was finally hitting Kelly. He'd never seen her upset, not like this. What was going on in her mind? He knew he had to find out.
"Kel, you know she's in the best hands possible. The doctors said she'd be okay. She will be just fine."
"Can you promise me that, Ryan? I don't mean another one of your empty promises. I need to know that Bailey will be just fine."
"She will. Now scoot over. I want to lie with you for a little bit. Would you like that?"
She obliged, tears falling down her face. It was one of the few times he'd ever seen Kelly without makeup, and in his eyes she was even more beautiful than ever.
"Don't worry, Kelly. Bailey will be just fine. She's a fighter, like her mama."
"You think I'm a fighter?"
"You've always fought for me, haven't you?"
"So once again this turns into the Ryan Howard show."
"No," he leaned over and kissed her forehead. "You fought for us. You've fought for Bailey. I never realized how strong you were until just now. I'm so sorry that I took you for granted for so long. I was selfish, inconsiderate, and rude, and you still love me. That proves to me that miracles still exist."
"Save those miracles for our daughter, Ryan. She needs them even more than we do."
"Oh, Kelly. You really are something, aren't you?"
"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked him suspiciously.
"It means that just when I think I have you pegged you turn around and surprise me. You love our daughter, don't you?"
"More than anything in this world. Except for maybe you. I don't know what I'd do if I were to lose you, Ryan."
Hugging her, he reassured her lovingly. "You're not going to lose me. I promise you ..."
"Save your promises. The only promise I need from you is that Bailey will be all right."
'"She will be. Just like I told you, she's a little fighter, just like her mama."
With that, Kelly grinned for the first time all day. "I'm a mama, aren't I?"
'"You sure are. And there isn't anyone I'd rather be the mother of my child than you, Kelly Kapoor. Kelly, I've been doing a lot of thinking..will you..."
"No! Don't propose to me now, not until we know how our daughter is. I love you for asking but really I need to know how Bailey is before I can answer you."
"Fair enough. That's the way it should be, anyways."
"Ryan, you know how much I love you, right?"
He smiled. "Yes, I love you more than you'll ever know."
"You know what? I love you but I think I love Bailey even more."
"That's the way it should be, Kel. That's the way it should be."
Just then the doctor walked in.
"How is she?" Kelly asked excitedly.
The doctor frowned, and Ryan knew what that meant. He took a hold of Kelly's hand; he knew she'd be needing all of the support she could get.
"I'm sorry, Kelly, Ryan. We did everything we could...but she was just too tiny...the hole was too big...she didn't make it past surgery."
Kelly stared at Ryan, then at the doctor. "What are you saying? Are you trying to tell me...that my baby's gone?"
Ryan tried to kiss her, but she pushed him away. "This is all my fault! If only I hadn't have taken those stupid pills. I don't deserve to be a mother anyways!" With that, she broke down sobbing, leaving Ryan feeling more helpless than he ever had before in his life.