A/N: First of all... Thank you so much everyone for the amazing responses. I have an apology for you all. I didn't realize I made Naoki's leg injury severe as it was not my plan at first. But then not injured at all in a storm was even more weird. I mentioned in chapter 37 that he might need crutches for a while then made him carry Kotoko in chapter 38 which contradicts. But in my defence he had well rested for 2 days in hospital. I didn't see this point when I was writing chapter 39 and going back in story and replacing will not be good. So I will just cover this up in chapter 40. :) Thank you for your patience everyone and thanks to MyNameIsBack for pointing it out to me. :)

Vows

(Kotoko POV)

Irie-kun sat me down on the bed and went to close our bedroom door. He stood there for a minute without turning around. I was feeling numb with tension. My heart was hammering in my ribcage.

Does he resent me for what I did?

What if he doesn't forgive me?

What if he again thinks I don't trust him?

Question after question flooded my brain. I couldn't sit still anymore. I got up from the bed and went near him. I don't know if he sensed me moving closer or not but he turned around when I was right behind him. He flinched and stepped back. Probably didn't expect to find me standing so close.

It pierced my heart. I automatically wanted to step closer but stopped myself at the end. He doesn't want me near… I guess.

I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out of it. Why am I so pathetic? Why can't I say anything when I need to speak up… something? Anything?

He looked up at me straight in my eyes. So many expressions changed one after another on his face. Then suddenly he moved closer and I was pulled into his arms. He buried his face in my neck.

Relief spread through my whole body. He doesn't hate me.

"I'm sorry Kotoko." I heard him say.

I shook my head violently. Why is he sorry? It's I who should be sorry. I have hurt him.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't know… anything. You went through so much. You suffered so much. I can never make it up to you."

He pulled away to look me in my eyes. I was about to tell him that I should be the one to say sorry but he cut me.

"No don't. Let me talk. I need to tell you this." I closed my mouth when he said that.

"All these months… years… you wear alone. You suffered alone. Even when I was with you, I never realised if I hurt you. I took you for granted. I thought you love me and I love you back. That should be enough."

"But it is enough for me Irie-kun. Your love is all I ever wanted." I couldn't stop myself saying that. His voice was filled with so much pain and guilt. I wanted him to stop.

"But it is not enough for me. You're my wife. I should be the one to protect you. But I failed… miserably… in all my duties as a husband."

"No you didn't." I said desperately.

"Yes, I did." His voice was almost calm.

I shook my head in negative again denying it. This conversation surprisingly felt exactly the same as the previous one we had after he found out about Neuroshia. I was right. He is blaming and hating himself again.

"I can understand why you did what you did. But I can never forgive myself for what I did to you. I will ask for your forgiveness for the rest of my life but it still wouldn't be enough."

"Irie-kun, you don't have to do that. I forgive you for everything." I held his hand and squeezed it to assure him.

"No Kotoko. I have to do it. I have to." Moving closer, he put his right hand on my cheek and I leaned my face on it instantly closing my eyes to savour the moment.

"You're so precious Kotoko. I never treasured you enough. I never treated you the way you should be treated."

I opened my eyes to find him looking at me intensely. His intense gaze made me shiver but I needed to stop him from blaming himself.

"Irie-kun, don't say that. You…"

"I never gave you the love… the attention that you deserved." He continued stopping me. "I put all the burdens on your shoulder. You alone had to work for our relationship. You alone had to make all the plans. I never realised you were not alone in this relation. I was there too. It was my responsibility too." He gulped.

I grabbed his hand which was on my cheek tightly.

"I was so self absorbed that I neglected you when you are the reason of my happiness. I neglected my own happiness."

"Irie-kun, you're my only happiness too. I can't see you in pain. Please stop hurting yourself with all the self blaming."

"I deserve it. I deserve all the pain I'm going through. This is still nothing compared to what you went through alone."

"No you don't. I told you, I was never alone. I always had your support. The entire family was with me. Yes, I hid the truth. I didn't tell everything honestly. But I did share my burdens with you when I needed to."

"You are an amazing soul you know." He mumbled after staying quiet for a moment.

"Huh?" I was confused.

"You're satisfied too easily. You never complain."

"I have you. I don't want anything else. You are enough for me."

Irie-kun pulled me into a hug again. He wrapped his both arms around me and I placed my head on his chest.

"But it's not enough for me. I want to be that person to whom you can depend on. I want to be the one who can protect you. I want you to trust me with all your pains. I want you to know that I love you. I loved you since high school and I will love you till I die."

The definition of happiness is right this moment. My heartbeats went crazy and lost their normal steady pace as I swooned over the cloud. We have been married for so many years and I have lost count of how many times he said that to me. But nonetheless, each time he tells me that me loves me, I feel like I am on the top of the world, the happiest soul on the earth. I feel like the high school girl who fell for him and I fall for him all over again. I know this sounds crazy but that is exactly what I am for him… crazy.

"I love you more." I mumbled holding him firmly.

"I know." He said and placed a kiss on top of my head.

"Please Kotoko, I need you to promise me, you will tell me everything and you will never hide anything from me ever again."

"I promise Irie-kun." I agreed in a heartbeat. I am never repeating my mistakes ever again.

He pulled away and kissed me very gently on my lips. But it was so short that when he pulled away, I craved for more. He pulled me towards the bed and we both sat down side by side on it.

"I am so sorry to you too." I said sincerely turning my head towards him.

"You don't…" He started to say something but this time I stopped him.

"No. it's my turn. Let me." I looked into his eyes. He put his arm around my shoulder.

He looked like he wanted to intervene but then he decided to let me talk and just nod his head.

"I told you before and I'm telling you this again. I never meant to drag this on for so long. Also I never wanted you to find out about all this in the way you did. It was wrong to hide things from you. But the way you found out about them is even more wrong. I should have told you everything the moment you stepped back to Tokyo from Kobe. But I was a coward and I hurt you… so bad." I paused for a moment.

"I know grandma Yoshida didn't mean to hurt you or me. She just wanted to make sure I was safe."

"Yes, I know that." He agreed. I looked down and continued.

"After you found out about Neuroshia, I was scared again to tell you about the accident. You were already in so much pain. Then everyone found out about oka-san and about… about my pregnancy complexity."

He rubbed on my shoulder slowly to comfort me. I put my head on his shoulder.

"I didn't want to cause more pain to everyone by talking about the accident. It was my fault after all. I was weak and in that condition I shouldn't have gone out wondering alone. I should have known better. I was studying nursing during that time and still I was careless."

He kept quiet and listened to me while soothing me by running his fingers through my hairs.

"But honestly, when everyone found out about Neuroshia, I was slowly preparing to let everyone know about the accident. Believe me." I looked up at him.

He looked at me with piercing eyes and after a while nodded.

"I would have told you because I didn't want you to find out about it from the reports anyway. And certainly not from…" I stopped. I meant to say certainly not from the scars I had on my body. But I couldn't. I blushed slightly and coughed to change my sentence.

"… not from the photographs." He looked sceptically at me. I blushed again.

What the hell? Why am I acting like some high school girl? I am married to this man but I still feel shy talking to him about being intimate.

"Anyway, umm… as I was saying, I wanted to tell you, but then after the therapy I went to comma and then came back and I honestly forgot that I didn't tell you about it yet or that I was preparing for telling you. It just went out of my mind… totally."

Irie-kun nodded again. I knew he noticed me blushing and probably he had an idea as to why I was blushing. But he didn't say anything about it. He just simply put a kiss on my forehead.

"Let's start over again Kotoko. Give me another chance. I promise you I won't let you down. I will prove you that I am worthy for you. I know you wanted to become home for me. Let me do the same for you."

How did he know that? Oh never mind. I am so happy he said that.

"Let's start over then." I smiled at him.

"I love you… Irie-kun."

"I love you more… Kotoko." He grinned at me and I mirrored his grin.

We again pulled each other into another kiss simultaneously.