Hey, so I have not fallen off the face of the earth, I've simply had one health issue after another, followed by Doctors' offices and all the fun things that go along with them, but I'm getting better everyday and finally managed to write something that made sense. so please enjoy, and all critique is welcome.

Chapter 27-

Leoben-

He woke up to the sound of a baby crying and for a minute thought he was in another dream again. It wouldn't be the first time that had happened to him, many of his visions occurred that way. But this was real, and he was awake. He pulled his arm from around Kara's waist as she stirred, afraid he would scare her by being that close to her while she slept. It didn't take an expert to know she would have a hard time being close to people for a long time to come. Specially with touch, every Six had known and felt some of the ramifications of what had happened to Gina, and reminded him multiple times of it, comparing Gina's situation with her's. Kara was already struggling, he wanted to save her from drowning not accidentally pull her under. Leoben pushed his tired body to its feet, moving on automatic and went to the make-shift crib where the sounds were coming from.

Kacey looked like anything but the cute little baby he cuddled in his arms yesterday. A small part of his brain wondered what had happened. Her face was red, and tears rolled down her little face and she hadn't made these crying noises. Think Leoben, what does she want? He obviously wasn't good at this parenting thing, and turned around to look at Kara, hoping something in her manner would give him a hint on what he was supposed to do or give him a place to start. Despite the fact most cylons would love a child, with the exception of maybe the Ones, Fours and Fives, no single cylon had any real idea on how to raise kids. That had always been humanity's department, not theirs.

She looked back at him, clearly annoyed. Her hands ran through her ruffled blonde hair and she blinked at him. Her tank was twisted, revealing the soft white skin it hid and had just a hint of a pink scar, twisting around under her arm. He couldn't help but stare at the skin, spellbound. He knew exactly where that scar looped before it intersected with another on her ribcage, he knew the shape it made and the jagged end that stopped suddenly. He knew from Simon where all her scars twisted and met, he could picture them, bright red contrasting with the pale white of her skin. He knew where her physical scars were, old ones from her mother to the new one on her wrist. He'd memorized them all.

A high pitched shriek made him realize he was staring overtly. Leoben quickly dropped his gaze from the woman to her child, a slight red flush heating his face. God what she must think of him. If she didn't think he was weird before she surely did now. "Do you know what to do?" He asked tentatively while Kacey's cries grew in volume. Leoben quickly began to shh her, attempting to soothe her and tried to rock her back and forth but to no avail. The little girl was upset, and everyone with ears on the entire planet and on a ship in it's immediate atmosphere was going to know about it.

All he got in response from Kara was a glare mixed with some other emotion he couldn't identify. Before he could comment farther she walked out of the room and shut the door behind her and he assumed went and hid in the bathroom or the office. Not like he blamed her. He should have known better than to stare. Now he was on his own, with a crying baby and no idea on how to change her from crying to the happy he had played with last night.

He tried to run through the checklist of everything he could think of. Did she need to get her diaper changed, she was probably hungry too, maybe she was just bored and decided to scream at him and wake him up. Lord knew he couldn't get a decent nights sleep. Leoben briefly wondered if he would ever get one again before he yawned.

Half an hour later Leoben was quite pleased with his victory. He had managed to change Kacey without making a mess, and put her in a new set of clothes that had been lying around Simon's lab. The corners of his mouth turned up when he remembered Caprica had nicely demanded she be allowed to make some clothes for Kacey. Sixes had a thing for clothing. As much as the Six models were diverse, clothing was the only thing that could really seem to pull Sixes together. The only word he managed to get in was the clothing shouldn't be frilly or pink. Kara would hate that. Caprica had laughed and agreed to make some clothes for the little girl.

The little baby was quiet now, and it completely awed Leoben something so little and fragile could make so much of a racket. She had some powerful lungs, and was not afraid to use them. Maybe she got that stubborn streak of not shutting up from the Starbuck side of Kara. The thought made him shake his head in amusement. He had thought he had known for a long time just how precious life was, clearly he was just learning.

If Kacey had been cooperating yesterday, she was clearly not this morning. In the chair Leoben had quickly fixed up to pretend to be a highchair, Kacey did not want to eat anything. He had been sitting there for quite a few minutes trying to get the little girl to open her mouth and accept the train, viper, food, spoon. But no matter what he called the utensil, or no matter how much he cajoled her, she wouldn't open her mouth. Little blue eyes blinked at him interested, but wouldn't respond to his pleas she eat her breakfast. She clearly got some stubbornness from Kara.

He even tried giving Kacey the spoon so she could try herself if that was what she wanted, and while her little fingers grasped the metal, they immediately lost interest in the soft food on it. Instead her tiny hands began to play with the spoon itself, a fascinating new thing to an eight month old child.

Leoben sighed and gave up. She would eat sooner or later, and Kacey wouldn't starve herself. He went to the kitchen and grabbed a bowl from the cupboard to whisk eggs in. It was only the beginning of what was going to be a long day. Multiple cylons had announced their intentions through Caprica to visit today, and many cylon models were going to be knocking on his door, hoping to get a glimpse of God's miracle. Even Caprica herself wanted to come by again, claiming she wanted to make sure she was getting Kacey's measurements right in order make her some clothes.

The male cylon privately suspected Caprica had another reason for stopping to visit the apartment. He was the only one he knew of that was privy to Caprica's secret want of a child. He had sat there and listened to her go on about her dream of a family, although why she picked Gaius Baltar to have it with, Leoben still wouldn't understand. He knew she wanted two little boys and a little girl. Caprica wanted the boys to be born first to be good older brothers to the little girl. The oldest boy was going to be named James, the second was going to be named Benjamin, and the little girl named Lily. She had wanted to live out in a typical suburban house on the far outskirts of Caprica city, by the lakes and the tree line. Close enough to nature for comfort, and close enough to Caprica city to be near all the things about city life she didn't want to give up. It was her dream life.

He knew she was a more than a little jealous of the fact he got a child and she did not, but he hoped he could remedy that by letting her spend time with Kacey. While chopping up tomatoes, he reflected that as his sister Caprica could say she had some kind of family relationship. She was certainly the only other cylon he really trusted enough to possibly watch Kacey without him there. He considered her a sister, that made her family, and an Aunt to Kacey.

All these new choices and responsibilities suddenly crept up and dawned on him. At some point Kacey was going to go after boys, or girls, he would support her either way, and he would have to deal with it. He might even get to be a grandfather one day. He had of course daydreamed about a family, and every now and then get a vision with one, but Leoben had never stopped and considered just how much his life would change. It wasn't just about Kara anymore, it was Kara and Kacey. His daughter and the mother of his daughter. His family. The word was so foreign, he had never before been able to really apply it to himself this way before. He had a family with Kara, a tie, a bond that she couldn't deny or erase away.

Speaking of Kara, the bathroom door creaked upon and she peered out, gauging the situation. Her hair hung in wet strands around her face, and the bathroom released hot humid air. She had taken a shower, or at least run it, and he hoped that she felt better. Everyone felt better cleaner, it was a cleansing thing, washing away all the things that made a person feel dirty with warm soapy water. All the dirt and bad things were swept away down the drain, and only the good and pure remained.

"I'm almost done with breakfast. You need to eat because there are lots of people coming in and out of the apartment today." He tried to keep his voice cheerful and focused on making the omelet in front of him rather than her reaction to him being an optimist. He was sure she would be unhappy with tons of cylons coming in and out of the apartment. "They all want to see Kacey." he explained to her unasked question, hoping that by knowing that her nerves would not be frazzled.

He finally looked up to see her half way out the bathroom, standing in the doorway, looking for all intents and purposes a deer in the headlights. He couldn't blame her, it would be unsettling for her to go from near isolation to having what had to be half of the cylon population on New Caprica waltzing through the bars that served as her barrier from the outside world. He faintly hoped she would see cylons weren't monsters, that they had feelings and that they value the life of a child.

Then again, Kara was more stubborn than anyone would really give her credit for and he could try all he wanted, she wouldn't believe anything unless she damn well wanted to. He had made that mistake enough times to realize that. He could not make her believe anything until she felt like believing him.

"Will you try feeding Kacey for me? She won't eat for me." He kept his voice light but he couldn't keep the tension out of it. Kara needed to start accepting Kacey, Kacey was her daughter. Her flesh and blood. Her DNA. Leoben hoped that if he got her to be around Kacey a little more, she would grow to love her. Leoben couldn't fathom how she didn't already. She was the most adorable little girl there ever was in his opinion.

Leoben looked up to see Kara still frozen. "Kara," he gently called. "Kara. Kara?" The third time finally got her attention before she looked at him. "See if you can get Kacey to eat." He tilted his head towards the table where Kacey sat, happily babbling to herself and playing with a spoon, still not putting it anywhere near the food.

The viper pilot didn't move, remaining frozen to the spot. "Please?" He didn't mean for it to come out as a question but it did. His exhaustion was already starting to take a toll on him as he flipped the omelet off the pan and began to make another for himself.

It was going to be another very long day.

Kara-

The plea of please actually got to her, crawling under her skin and internalizing itself. This was his little game, why did he have to pretend it wasn't? It made things worse in the end, and she did not trust Leoben any farther than she could throw him. Being that that she hadn't exercised in a while and had a lot happen in between then and now, it was unlikely she could do more than lift him off the ground. Maybe not even that. Pretending made it so much worse, because one day she knew she would probably start to believe him.

She absently padded over to the place next to the little girl. Kara felt another pang of sympathy for the child. She didn't know what was going on; she was caught in the middle between all kinds of things a child of her age would never be able to comprehend. Things she shouldn't have to comprehend to begin with. Leoben brought over a box of crackers and set them on the table before returning to the kitchen "Would you try feeding her some of those too? See if she likes them any"

Didn't lots of people visiting to see her mean she was the real thing? Her mind queried but she shut the train of thought down. Kara didn't think she could handle that, why would the Gods take her little boy away, and she had known in her head ever since Simon confirmed she had been pregnant it would have been a boy, why would the Gods take him away but give her this little girl? Not that the little girl shouldn't exist, but it just wasn't fair. Why did Leoben's child get to live but Sam's didn't? Sam hadn't done anything wrong, Leoben was a cylon, he destroyed their home planets. Millions, no billions, of people died because of Leoben. Sam had only killed cylons, who didn't count anyways. Sam had been the hero here, Leoben the villain and yet the villain won. That wasn't supposed to happen.

It just wasn't fair she bitterly lamented. The injustice of it left an acidic taste in her mouth and rage at everything that had happened to her began to uncoil the longer she let the train of thought go on.

And then she stopped, guilt at being angry consuming her soul. Shame grabbed at her and didn't let her go. Her mother had been consumed with rage at all the bad things that had happened, that Kara had been allowed to exist and look at what had happened as a result of that rage. No matter how much anger she had inside, Kara had vowed a long time ago that she would never ever become her mother. She had no plans on breaking the promise made long ago.

Her hands automatically guided the spoon into the food and guide it to the little girl's mouth. Bright blue eyes looked up at her trustingly and with curiosity. Her throat choked up, this little girl was so innocent. She had never learned to fear her, never learned that Kara was a frak-up who ruined everything that she touched. Kara's fingers slid below the seam of the box, and withdrew a handful of small crackers and placed them in front of Kacey. Small little hands grabbed them, and she testingly put them in her mouth. She must have liked them, Kara mused, because she didn't spit it out.

Had she ever looked like that as a little girl? Had she ever looked at her own mother that way? Had her mom even cared about her? Had her mom ever done any of the stereotypical mom things when she was a little girl, did she fed her and rock her to sleep? Kara's childhood were full of holes and blurred memories, it hurt too much to remember and what was clear were things, events and people she would rather forget. Those questions she wasn't even sure she wanted the answers to.

Why was Kacey here? Surely Leoben, who knew her history all too well, should know better than to bring a little girl in Kara's presence. Kara glanced down, watching the child, she was getting the hang of things, eating the bite-sized crackers with her hands without a problem.

She felt the cylon's ice blue eyes watching her. Kara didn't make any comment. She wasn't doing this because he told her to, though she would let him think that if it made him feel better. She was doing it because Kacey was an innocent child and shouldn't be ignored. While it was true Kara didn't want to be a parent, she would never be able to live with herself if she did anything that could be considered neglect of a child. That would mean she was her mother, and thousands of things her mother had said to her over the years would have been right. That she frakked everything up, and that she messed it all up.

"Thank you." Leoben said softly and it caused her to jump slightly. He was a lot closer than she had thought he was, his words raising goosebumps on her skin. Her perceptions were beginning to mess up, her judgement on distances failing. Her personal space was too close to being invaded by the cylon. He hung on the edge, keeping a thin balance. He was close enough to make her uncomfortable, but not close enough she felt like she had a right to freak out about it without seeming insane.

Leoben placed an omelet at her spot, funny how she didn't even question that anymore, just the way she had liked them, ham, cheese, tomatoes, and lettuce. She had stopped wondering how he knew her food preferences a while ago. A few seconds later he placed a fork down along with a glass of water. He did the same for his own spot and invited her to take a seat with the nod of his head.

Kara did, she didn't know what to do anymore. She was an automaton, there was no way to get out of this. Even her day dreams had been torn to shreds by her nightmares. She could never think of Sam without again seeing the cylon standing over him, holding a knife, while Sam's normally handsome face marred with blood and pain, complaining she wasn't who he thought she was and how she had failed him as a wife. Lee didn't care she was here, and he only came to yell at her in her dreams, reminding her that she would never be good enough to him, and that she should never ever forget that. Even gentle Zak, who had never judged or raised his voice at her in the entire time she had known him, didn't want to have a thing to do with her, avoiding her altogether and refusing to even look at her.

Her life was this pointless thing, kept only alive for Leoben's amusement. She would have no use as a pilot, her nerves far too frayed and jumpy to have the skills to pilot a plane. If she were to be on a battlestar right now and hear condition one called over the intercom, she wouldn't trust herself in a plane. And if she wasn't a pilot, she was a nothing. Just like her mother had told her she would be.

Kara Thrace had finally made it to rock bottom, just where her mother had predicted she would end up. Alone, unloved, and useless. A waste of air, a waste of space and good resources. Well what else was new?

"Kara please eat your breakfast." The cylon asked her, voice low. She fully studied him from across the glass table, and he looked tired, wrinkles at the corners of his eyes, dulled with lack of sleep, and he rested his head on one hand. He was tired of putting up with her, and Kara knew it. Normally she'd feel guilty. But not anymore, now all she had to do was get him to give up.

"No." She fired back. Resisting was futile, she had learned that a long time ago, bad things happened to Kara Thrace whether she liked them or not. But she was tired of this game, tired of his control, and him having the upper hand for so long. She had promised Sammy she would fight until the end, just like she should, even though giving in would be so much easier. Giving up doesn't hurt as much, a voice in her head reminded her, sounding a lot like the cylon who'd killed her husband. Kara wanted to just give up and fade away into nothing so very badly. It would make the pain stop.

"Please?" He begged, trying to get her to eat. She glared at him with her arms crossed her chest, the poster girl for the word No. "Why not?"

"You can't control me anymore." she replied back. She would eat, eventually. The food tempted her already, Leoben, despite everything else, could really cook. That was the only good thing about cylon prison with Leoben, she got to eat real food again. Such a small payoff for everything else she had lost.

"Kara, I am not controlling you." He was earnest, and he seemed to really believe what he was saying. But did he really, the Admiral's words still echoed in her head The problem with Leoben, isn't that he lies. That'd be too easy, it's that he mixes lies with truth. It was far more likely Leoben was simply playing his ignorance, trying to lull her into seeing things his way. That's all cylons did, lie and hurt people.

"Yes you are!" She snapped, more force coming out with the words than she intended. "You control everything I do, and you keep me in here, none of my choices are my own anymore," She trailed off, unwilling to talk anymore. She dropped her eyes back down to the food in front of her. She was so lost she finally admitted to herself, she didn't even know what she was supposed to be doing anymore.

Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit. She hadn't meant to confront him. That was never part of the plan. The plan had been not eat anything, and go back into the bedroom. Hide all day. Avoid all his visitors, and especially avoid Kacey. Maybe later tonight she could cry herself to sleep and not have a nightmare. Rinse and repeat until she managed to escape her cell, in any way possible by any means possible.

"Kara I give you choices, I let you do whatever you would like, give you options, ask your opinion on things, it's you who keeps yourself locked in your mind."

"No you don't." The words came out soft enough she wasn't sure he could hear them. Even now she wasn't sure she even understood what she was trying to say. She was used to acting on the whim of others, hell that was how the military worked. But there had always been the option, the option to mutiny, or hit that superior asshole right in the mouth where he deserved it. She didn't have that option here.

"How don't I?" Blue eyes had their complete attention on her now, the small child munching on crackers forgotten, the food on the table forgotten, nothing was given any mind. He watched her and it eerily reminded her of a Centurion, locking its eye on whatever thing it wanted to shoot.

"You don't let me die."