Aah! I'm sorry for the terrible wait on this! Sorry! Here's another chapter!
-Marseillaise
Enjolras,
I made you cry?! SUCCESS! Yeah, I'm feeling evil. Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Do you know that Patria translates to FATHERland? Is there something you want to tell us.
Darc the Torturous
P.S. you're like a French version of Padriac Pearse from the 1916 Irish Rebellion.
R,
That was beautiful. And sad. You can do other things than drink and oogle Apollo!
Darc
Combeferre,
YOU AREN'T THE BOSS OF ME AND THIS WILL MAKE NO SENSE TO BASICALLY EVERYONE BUT I DON'T CARE. And don't tell Enjolras that I put a tracking device on his vest.
Darci
Darc-
First of all, your name makes no sense. Darci was better. Secondly, those who do not weep do not see. And thirdly, did you also know that Patria (Patrie in French) and France are both feminine words? As in, the particle is 'la' instead of 'le'. Vive LA France. After all, it also translates to MOTHERland as well as Fatherland. It goes either way, but yes, there is something I would like to tell you. You need to get better things to do than write stupid fanfiction. Like find something that needs fixing with your society and FIX IT.
Enjolras
Darc…i-
Um. Thanks.
R
Darci-
STUDY! And if you didn't want Enjolras to know, you shouldn't have told his best friend.
Combeferre
Ps. DARCI I DON'T CARE IF YOU KNOW WHERE I AM I HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE
-Enjolras
Dear Enjolras/Grantaire,
How would you feel about being locked in a closet together with romantic candles and a fancy dinner?
(Submitted by Courfeyrac)
I SWEAR I DIDN'T SUBMIT THAT! -THE REAL COURFEYRAC
A closet wouldn't have enough room for a fancy dinner. So I would feel claustrophobic and most likely incredibly annoyed.
-Enjolras
Hmm…
-R
Dear Enjy-Poo,
SING, MY ANGEL OF MUSIC
-Erik Le Fnttome
Erik le Fntome-
You obviously don't speak French. And what. The. Heck. I don't sing.
-Enjolras
I think he sings in the shower. I hid a recorder in there when I pretended to pass out and he had to drag me to his house. Ha.
-R
You can't date a country.
-JC, the one who simply writes one line to Enjolras.
JC-
I'm not dating a country. I never said I was dating a country. I don't date at all. I just love Patria.
Enjolras
Soooo, Enj and R. I want to phrase this right. GO OUT ALREADY! R DIED FOR YOU! HE LOVES YOU! AND YOU CALL MARIUS STUPID! GRRR THE TENSION BETWEEN YOU TWO! ENJ GET OVER PATRIA! IT'S NEVER GONNA HAPPEN! R, EMBRACE ENJ AND NEVER LET HIM GO! IT'S JUST EOVJFOELSNVIGOWPLAMBT. AND RAMIN AND HADLEY ARE PERFECTT KNJFJKND C AS ENJ AND R AND IM SERIOUSLY FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW, BUT TRUST ME. V HUGO SHIPS E/R YOU FOOLS! (KIND OF, IT'S LIKE ONE SIDED)
I'm sorry, I had to get that burden lifted.
Sincerely, this is totally not Darci *cough*
Eponine,
Okay, you know what annoys me? When people change your character. You're awesome and they feel the need to make you into this sniveling whiny pitiful little girl. NO! YOU ARE EPONINE THENARDIER, THE BANE OF THE PATRON-MINETTE! And people should respect your decision in Monsieur Marius. Enjolras is annoying and rude and...yeah...I HOPE YOU'RE READING THIS ENJY! Just want you to know that I like your original character, and you shouldn't change personalities just cause.
Not Darci
Dear Combeferre,
I'm sorry. You're right.
The Procrastinator
Dear MWIPSI,
Hi!
Darckicikciikyikjdiskdjhfhfisowksmfhvi
Oh and VIVE E/R!
I like you.
-R
No. Can you people just accept that I DON'T HAVE FEELINGS FOR GRANTAIRE. Other than feelings of annoyance.
Enjolras
Well THANK YOU!
-Éponine
MY NAME IS NOT MWIPSI
-MARSEILLAISE
Dear Enjolras,
Hypothetically, if Patria didn't exist, who would you date?
And also, if you had to use one of Javert's awesome hats, which would you pick?
FP
Dear Javert,
LAWWWWWWW. NOT LAWR. LAWWWWWW. LA-WUH. UNDERSTAND?
FP
FP-
Hypothetically, if Patria didn't exist, then I STILL WOULDN'T DATE.
Enjolras
FP-
LAWR. GET OVER IT.
Javert
Madame Defarge-
Can you knit me a hat? Thx.
-Om
Om-
DO YOU SUPPORT THE REVOLUTION?
Mme. Defarge
Dear Courf-
Azelma is kinda dating Cheeto. You know, Cheeto. The guy that shot Tony.
Dear Marseille-mayonnaise,
I hate you. Lots.
Sincerely,
Milo the plot rabbit
Milo-
No, Maria is dating Cheeto. Because they're both psychotic.
-Courf
Milo-
The feeling is mutal, evil plot rabbit. DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Marseillaise
Dear Éponine,
Tips on le friendzone?
Kay xx
Kay-
Be tough and don't let people get you down. And sing sad songs in the rain.
-Éponine
Dear Enjy-poo
oh come on calm down you have eternity to have the revolution thingy
Dear Eponine
I knew it! Im a fortune teller leech (as Jacob calls) like Alice Cullen
Dear Bahorel
why ew? Twilight is AWESOME! like Les Mis
Dear Marius
Okay too much information
Dear whoever-said-Team Jacob
too late guys Bella married Edward and Jacob has Renesmee...opps spoiler but Team Edward forever.. TATA for nhaw
-Preciousat
Preciousat-
THE REVOLUTION CANNOT COME SOON ENOUGH.
Enjolras
Preciousat-
Um, that's wonderful…
Éponine
Preciousat-
Anything involving sappy romantic vampires is stupid.
Bahorel
Dear Courfeyrac,
WHERE ARE THE FLIPPING CHILD SUPPORT PAYMENTS?!
-Mistress 24601
Mistress 24601-
…What the heck? I never dated or anything with 24601 people. I have twenty-seven. Chill. And I'm not Felix Tholomyès. I'm not evil. If someone had gotten pregnant then I would have HELPED THEM. You're just trying to get money.
-Courf
Dear Éponine,
Marry me.
-Enjolras
THIS WASN'T ME.
-Enjolras
I know it wasn't you. And I wouldn't marry you anyway.
-Éponine
Dear Mars,
I shouldn't have left this fic. I really shouldn't, because I have OCD and WHERE ARE MY LINES AND MY BOLD AND MY PERFECTLY OVERCHECKED SPELLING AND GRAMMAR AND WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
-Psycho
PS: Fix the summary. Please. It's bothering me.
Dear Mme. Defarge,
Oh, yes! A hat, please!
-Psycho
Dear AJ,
If you read this, I'm waiting with the guillotine. It's not rabbit-sized anymore either. And heck yeah, I escaped the Hyper Protection Bunker. I had a spare blowtorch. (You have to pay me back for the other one, BTW. Or get Marius to. I imagine he's having fun using it to blow up the barricade.) And my laughter is still insane. And I'm standing outside your window right...now...
-Psycho
(No need to respond to this one, Mars. Just stick it in the letter where she'll hopefully see it.)
Dear Eppie-Sue,
I hate you.
-Psycho
Dear Cosette,
You shouldn't go to that silly convent. Go to Pigfarts. It's on Mars.
- Psycho
Dear Enjolras,
RUMBLEROOOOOOOOOAR!
-Psycho
Dear Courfeyrac,
I've been waiting all these years to DANCE again...
-Psycho
Dear Combeferre,
Stop LOOKING at me like that!
-Psycho
Dear Charlotte Corday,
From what I know about you, you're friggin' awesome. Nice on the whole assassinating Marat thing.
-Psycho
Dear Mars,
Are you getting tired of these letters yet?
-Psycho
Dear Bella Swan,
Stop answering this letter. YOU SHOULDN'T BE IN THIS FANDOM!
-Psycho
Dear Javert,
On a certain website the word 'Javvie' autocorrects to 'Snookums.'
...
I just felt like you should know.
-Psycho
Dear Angel Dumott Schunard, or however the frig you spell your name:
I'm pretty sure you're a girl. I mean, I've seen the pictures.
-Psycho
Dear Feuilly,
Let them eat cake!
-Marie Antoinette, a recently guillotined plot bunny.
Dear Feuilly,
I DIDN'T SAY THAT I NEVER SAID THAT WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK I SAY THAT
-Marie Antoinette, a dead Frenchwoman
Dear Mars,
I think I shouldn't be writing these letters at one in the morning. What do you think?
-Psycho
Dear Roger and Mark,
You guys should pay your friggin' rent. I mean, yeah, life sucks, you all have AIDS, you wanna write a song-I get it. But, I mean, it's kind of the lawrrr.
-Psycho
Psycho-
Suck it up. You gave up. And don't call me Mars
-Marseillaise
Psycho-
I like your name. But I knit shrouds. Do you support us?
Mme Defarge
Psycho-
Well I hate you, too. With a perfect hatred.
-Eppie-Sue
Psycho-
Um. What?
-Cosette
Psycho-
…
Enjolras
Psycho-
Go dance with Marius, because you like him so much.
Courf
Psycho-
Thank you.
-Charlotte Corday
Psycho-
YES. YES I AM. And don't CALL me MARS.
-MarsEILLAISE
Psycho-
THAT'S EVIL AND DISRESPECTFUL.
-Javert
Marie Antoinette the plot bunny-
Didn't Marseillaise and Psycho guillotine you? Then why are you reviewing ?
-Feuilly
Marie Antoinette-
I never said you said that.
-Feuilly
Psycho-
I don't think you should be, either. And DON'T CALL ME MARS.
-MarsEILLAISE
Psycho-
You should stop trying to get the RENT characters to review on a French Revolution fic.
-Marseillaise Who Is Sighing In Relief That This Review Is Over
Dear Azelma,
Do you ever wonder why you were never even mentioned in the play or movie? You werent really a main character, but you did trigger some key events. Does it bother you that other characters did it for you?
Kansas
Dear Gavroche,
*blushes* Hi. I fing you very amusing and attractive. In a street urchin way. The guy who plays you in the movie, Daniel Huttleston is my age, thirteen. (Yes Rain, yes Darcy, I am thirteen. Move on.) But I just want to say that you ate definitly the bravest person Ive ever met. I am totally the girl version of you, and we would totally be best friends. In fact, we should be best friends. So what im trying to say is that will you be my best friend cuz you arr on awsome badass streeturchin bro.
Kansas
Cossette,
Thanks to Darci The Thespian, I ship you and Fuilley. Also, did you ever have any conversations with 'Ponine when she was youre messanger?
Kansas
Courfeyrack,
You are the man bro.
Kansas
Kansas-
Yeah, that's annyoying.
-Azelma
Kansas-
Um. Thanks.
-Gav
Kansas-
I agree.
-Courf
Dear Barricade,
How does it feel being trampled by extremely hot revolutionists?
Jenna
Dear Enjolras,
If you do not like Eponine, then who do you ship HER with? M/É?
Jenna
Dear Marius,
Nobody likes you. You so dumb.
Jenna
Dear Cosette
YOU'RE SUCH A LONELY CHILD HOW PENSIVE HOW SAD YOU SEEM TO ME (see what I did there) Um. Would you choose Marius or your Papa? CHOOSE.
Jenna
Jenna-
Well it was okay until they started dying on me and I couldn't get rid of their sweaty and stinky and bloody dead bodies.
-The Barricade
Jenna-
I don't "ship".
Enjolras
Jenna-
Cosette AND Éponine like me. And most of Les Amis.
Marius
Jenna-
It depends.
Cosette
Dear Jenna,
Jsyk, I'm a Marius fangirl.
Yes. We do exist.
-Mme. Psycho Pontmercy
Poor Psycho wishes she hadn't abandoned this, haha. -Marseillaise
dear monsieur thenardier,
THIS IS NOT ROSALIND! YOU WILL ADDRESS ME AS SAM MORRIS, HER FRIEND!
we just got done watching les miserables so i have some questions for you.
1. do you like guinea pigs?
look like rick ashley (aka roll)
3. have you been arrested for child abuse?
4. how do you feel about you accomplice-i mean wife?
5. what happened to you after the wedding?
Sam Morris-
…To put in pies!
No. I don't hit my children! Why does everyone think I hit my children? IN THE BRICK IT SAID THAT IF ANYONE DID ANY HITTING IT WAS MADAME.
I used to love her but she's annoying and ugly soooo…
I moved to America and became a slave dealer with Azelma. It said so in the Brick.
-Thénardier
This is for Les Amis:
If they made another Les Miserables movie, who would you want to play yourselves?
-Marie Charlotte
Marie-
Um…well Hadley Fraser as Grantaire, Ramin Karimloo for Enjolras, Alistar for Jehan, Killian Donnely for Combeferre, Hugh Skinner as Joly, George Blagden as Courfeyrac, Gabriel Vick as Feuilly, someone bald for Bossuet, Eddie Redmayne as Marius…pretty much the same as the movie.
-Combeferre (the speaker for all of us)
Dear Eponine,
I just want you to know that you're my favorite character in Les Mis and Marius should have been yours. Also, I don't ship you with Enjolras. (I just don't see it happening...)
-Jeanne
Jeanne-
Thank you!
-Éponine
Dear Les Amis,
Do you guys have Instagram?
Anna xx
Anna-
Noooo, but Marseillaise does. eponine[underscore underscore]Enjolras
-Marseillaise and Les Amis
Dear Marsellaise,
I hope you can update soon. The questions here are hilarious and I am excited to see what their replies are
-GUEST (whose name is now Benoît)
Benoît-
YOUR WISH HAS BEEN GRANTED. And thank you for using my actual name, not…MARS.
-Marseillaise
Ahem! My friend who's name is actually Cosette she is so dang lucky: No. More. PUNCTUATION! Me: *Pokes tongue*
Dear Enjolras,
I don't ship Enjonine. It is vile, impossible, disgusting. I believe that the people who support it must be guillotined. *Sees how many people actually ship it* Ooookay, not killed. That'd take a huge chunk out of mankind. But I reeeeeeeeeally hate it. VIVE LA PATRIA! P.S. Don't you think it's a teensy bit unfair that you're such a marble statue to everyone? Who do you think you are, Galatea or something? No disrespect intended. I am an avid revolutionary, thanks.
Eponine Everdeen
Dear Marius,
Remember when you remarked that "life without Cosette means nothing at all"? Let us travel back in time... *We see Me from the past throwing popcorn at the TV* Me from the past: DUDE. LIFE WITHOUT COSETTE WAS YOUR WHOLE LIFE UP UNTIL TODAY!
Remember it well.
Eponine Everdeen
Dear National Guard,
Die, you large-mustached bucket of pudding. You deserve what Marie Antionette got, you vile pig-head. P.S. Nice mustache. P.P.S. I am a revolutionary. So naturally to me you are scum. :D
Eponine Everdeen
Dear Courfeyrac,
Has the name Estelle ever struck your fancy? *Blushes* Just wondering... P.S. It's not my name. I double swear on my copy of the Brick. Seriously.
Eponine Everdeen
Dear Eponine,
You are my favourite character. Why would anyone ship Enjonine? Ugh. You deserve Marius. I strive to be like you. Kind of.
Eponine Everdeen
Dear Cosette,
I'm so sorry for you. I agree it is unfair that you are so hated. I think you are cool. Cosette my friend: That's not true. She doesn't like you. She demanded I change my name to Eponine. Me: SHUT UP! I mean...uh... BLOOD! *Shows her a bleeding cut* Cosette my friend: *Faints* She's a hemophobe. Fear of blood.
Eponine Everdeen
Dear Gavroche,
I love you.
Eponine Everdeen
Dear Jolllly,
*Hugs you* Oh, wait, sorry, I have pneumonia.
Eponine Everdeen
Dear Everyone Except Jolllly,
Quick! Is Joly gone? Yes? Don't read this until you get him out of the room! Now is he gone? Good. I don't have pneumonia. I just wanted to see his reaction. I know, it's kinda mean, but hey, I'll apologize if a CERTAIN BARRICADE BOY *COUGH* JEHAN PROUVAIRE *COUGH* will help me with a poem for English class... wait. You don't have my address. *Sighs* A simple peck on the cheek would suffice.
Eponine Everdeen
Dear Thenardier,
Here, have a franc. *Offers* *Takes it back at last minute* GOTCHA! You're really a horrible man. I signed you up for the Get Your Paws Off Those Francs program. _ You're welcome.
Eponine Everdeen
Éponine E-
Thank you.
-Enjolras
Éponine E-
…..
Marius
Éponine E-
The mustache has a NAME, you know.
-Rudy Manchego the mustache of Hadley Fraser
Éponine E-
Not really…why?
-Courf
Éponine E-
Thank you.
-Éponine T
Éponine E-
Um…what?
-Cosette
Éponine E-
Ew.
-Gav
Éponine E-
THAT WAS CRUEL.
-Jolllly
Éponine E-
Sorry, I'm dating Marseillaise and I live in her closet.
-Jean Prouvaire
Éponine E-
…What the heck?
-Thénardier