Yona is in Hak's arms as he carries her down the hallway toward their bedroom. Their private place.
A fury of thoughts and fears rush through Yona's mind. How will Hak react? She's dying to finally be open and honest about that awful day in Kai, about where Zeno and Kija have been… but she's terrified of destroying their trust.
Hak pushes the door open. The wooden creak, Hak's footsteps on stone, the flicker of candles - each sound is loud and clear to Yona. She's so on edge.
Hak lays her in their bed. He sits on the side next to her, his gentle warrior eyes looking down. So concerned. The back of one of his great hands gently runs down the side of her face. Nothing twists up his insides like Yona being upset.
Yona stares up at him looking down onto her - gathers her strength, lifts a small, shaking hand over his.
"I've wanted to tell you for so long."
Hak stops breathing. His eyebrows crease together. He adjusts his hand so Yona's is in his and he holds it tight.
Tears well again in Yona's eyes, "At first after Kai we were never alone. Then… when we were alone, I was going to lose my mind if I didn't touch you."
Hak lightly smiles to soften the tension, but his face is still worried sick.
"Then we found out about the baby and we went away to celebrate. I didn't want this ever to… touch you."
"Princess…"
"Please forgive me, Hak," tears silently fall down her cheeks-
-as Hak lifts his hand from hers so he can wipe her tears-
-she whispers, "Soo-Won is alive."
Hak becomes a statue, his eyes wide in shock.
Slowly, his hand lowers to his lap and his face turns forward out over the room, looking at nothing, then he bows his head, his hair masking his expression.
Each word tears at Yona's heart, "I wasn't sure… until Kija and Zeno just confirmed it tonight."
Hak fights the immense tightening in his chest. His words are slow, measured, "What do Kija and Zeno have to do with Soo-Won being alive."
Yona sits up, scooches back on the bed. She watches Hak, feeling a pain inside she's never felt before. Loathing her betrayal, but owning it, she answers-
"I did this. It's my fault. When Soo-Won kidnapped me on the battlefield, when I came to - we fought. And when the moment came for me to kill him… Jae-Ha was there."
Yona looks for any hint to stop or continue. There's none. And the silence is agony. So she goes on-
"Jae-Ha stopped us both from doing anything we couldn't take back. But he and Soo-Won fought and hurt each other very badly. Jae-Ha flew off and I ran after him. I thought he might die."
Yona stares at Hak's back. Those broad shoulders. Her warrior. How things would have been different if he was there that day. But it was her. And maybe it needed to be her, was meant to be her. Growing in confidence, she continues-
"When I left Soo-Won I didn't know if he'd survive. But I did know that if I did nothing and he did die, the fault of his death would be on me. I alone knew about his condition and had means to do anything about it. I did what I felt was the right thing... I sent Zeno and Kija to find him and take him somewhere safe. That was the secret mission."
Hak is deep in thought. Trying to absorb something he wishes wasn't reality.
"This entire time..." he doesn't even know where to begin.
"Hak…" Yona reaches out across what feels like miles between them and touches his shoulder. It feels cold and hard and hollow. Yona can't go on like this, "Please, Hak, look at me."
Hak starts to turn, but then retreats his face back to its dark, hidden place. Yona sees a corner of his mouth pulled back, trying to control something.
Yona climbs off the bed and moves around to the front of him. Her breathing is audible between them. She reaches across and touches his hands. They don't move. This is not how he responds to her. She wants to comfort him and yet... it's as though her power to do so is suddenly gone.
No. Yona can't bear it. She braves touching his forearm. Then bicep. Then cheek. She feels like she's violating something, going somewhere very dangerous, as she slides her fingers down under his chin. She raises his face toward hers - something he wasn't ready to do yet on his own.
But he doesn't fight her.
And when Hak's eyes meet Yona's, she gasps. A hand flies over her mouth. The depth she can see into him...
Not anger. Heartbreak. Unfathomable, absolute heartbreak.
Hak stares at the woman he loves. As though she just slipped back out of his arms.
That bastard is still alive. Directly by her hand. Like the hairpin all over again… that guy is still inside her heart. And she's still hiding it.
"Have you been…," Hak's voice breaks, which is more painful to Yona than anything he could have said, "...communicating with him?"
Yona starts sobbing, now knowing her answer will truly hurt him, "He sent a message back for me…"
"What did he say?" Hak snaps, not meaning to be cold, but sincerely losing control.
"He said he has an urgent message. That it could save our lives - and I should go to him. In person. Right away."
Hak's face changes, as though Kija just punched him in the gut. Then it's like he could explode - he rises, his eyes trained on the door-
"Where is he?"
Yona shakes her head, "Hak, no…"
Hak looks down at her incredulously. He moves his hand through his dark locks as he takes this in…
"You won't tell me… You're protecting him... from me?"
Yona looks to the side, hating this moment, but stuck with her resolve, she turns back to face this-
"You never forgave him, Hak! You hate him. I can't let you near him. I can't even... let you come with me."
Yona regrets saying that immediately. Hak stares at her with those sad eyes. Now it's she who has stabbed him and he almost staggers from it.
But he's a man well-versed in pain. And, for her, he will never stop fighting, "He's still manipulating you. He didn't tell you he loved you that night by accident! I'm glad you'll never have the heart to kill him. But I can't watch him use that beautiful heart against you. I will not watch him have you come to him and…"
Both of Hak's hands ball into fists, his eyes flash.
"You think he's planning to kill me for the crown?"
"Why wouldn't he?"
Yona closes her eyes, knowing he's making very good points right now, so very logical, and that she's completely going on faith here… "Because he didn't kill Jae-Ha when he could have. He didn't kill Min-Soo. And he didn't kill me. There's a conflict inside him, Hak, I saw it. He doesn't want to hurt us."
Hak and Yona stand holding gazes, diametrically opposed on this one.
Hak can't let it go, "Everything that guy does is for a purpose that serves some greater goal. He doesn't have friends. Doesn't love anyone. You cannot trust him!"
Yona recoils, "I refuse to believe that all those times together were all a lie. They couldn't have been!"
"Or you don't want them to be," Hak's jealousy cuts like a sword with a blade at both ends.
The words scrape an old, deep scar that only complicated for Yona when she found out how long Hak loved her. He so rarely let his jealousy show. So. Rarely. They may as well both be bleeding now.
Yona trembles with each breath, "Hak, I love you… You're the only one. The only man I've ever… I… without you, I couldn't… I can't… I love you! You idiot, you always..."
All of this emotion and exertion - Yona collapses.
And Hak catches her.
As he holds his shaking, pregnant wife, they're finally touching, so close, finally warm, both snapped back to reality. And it's damn sobering.
Hak lifts Yona back into his arms and sets her on the edge of the bed. He kneels before her, looking straight into her eyes so she can see - all the anger has vanished. It's just the two of them right here right now. Those painful words and that little scare were enough to remind him all that matters.
Hak takes Yona's hands in his and makes his heartfelt plea, as though his life depends on it-
"Stay by my side. Please, Princess, I'm begging you. Don't go."
And only now, a single tear falls down Hak's cheek.
"Stay."
"Hooo," Jae-Ha whistles, "I'll be the first to commend you're quite handy in a medical tent, but this is your look, Dear."
"What the hell?!" Lili glares at Jae-Ha in disbelief. They're walking toward the training grounds and she's in robes - which she loves right now because she's been stuck in dresses her entire life. But for the same reason, she feels really bizarre, "Don't I look like a boy?"
Jae-Ha considers, "...you have breasts."
Lili thinks out loud, "You probably are into guys, too…"
Jae-Ha considers some more, "Have you seen Hak?"
"Taken!" Lili smacks Jae-Ha's arm in appall.
"That doesn't make people turn invisible. It simply means you shouldn't touch them. Ah-hem."
"OH COME ON," Lili rolls her eyes, "Let me live it down already."
"Can I watch today?" Jae-Ha asks playfully, changing the subject.
"No way! Why would you even want to do that? It's gonna be awful. So embarrassing."
"I want to see that handsome boy trying to train you but terrified of touching you."
"What? Why? It's gonna be awkward for both of us."
"He's a good kid, like Hak. They don't lay a finger on girls. Usually there's just one they're fixated on and the rest might as well not exist."
"All the better," Lili insists, though admittedly is a little stung by that frank suggestion, "Like you said, he's a kid. I like my men older. Much. Older."
"Then you'll both be fun to watch."
"OK, you're seriously forbidden from being there. You might as well stop walking now."
Jae-Ha smiles, preparing his next jab.
"Ungh!" Lili uses her hands to shield her face as she smashes into the ground. Shit.
Tae-Woo looks down at Lili crumpled on the ground in front of him, his eyebrows raised together as he considers if there's a better approach. He's been working her for hours. How did Hak do this with the princess? I should've asked.
As Lili gets her wind back, she glances toward the side of she and Tae-Woo's private training area. Then she glances toward the rooftops just to be sure. Whew, she's relieved to see Jae-Ha kept his promise not to watch. Alright, if there's just one person in the world who sees me like this, that's manageable. I just have to avoid him for the rest of our lives when we're done.
Lili gets back up and turns to Tae-Woo. He looks sympathetic, like to maybe offer a break. But Lili knows she has an extraordinary goal to hit.
"I'm ready to try again."
Tae-Woo's forehead creases. Lili charges him. He moves with little effort, though anyone looking at his face would see the discomfort. He pivots and a flat palm meets her stomach, flipping her backward-
-but he catches her before her head bangs on the ground.
"Shit," Lili accidentally says out loud. She closes her eyes, cringing. Whatever impression this guy had of her… it was ruined within five minutes today, "I meant… thanks for the save."
"No problem. That would've been more than a headache," Tae-Woo confesses as he sits her upright, then he quickly turns away- "Time for a break, though. I've gotta find Lord Hak."
Lili sits next to Tae-Woo on benches at the side of the main training area. Joo-Doh and Hak are working the Sky Tribe warriors. It's intense.
"Whoa," Lili whispers involuntarily because… damn.
"Right?" Tae-Woo responds.
"You can fight… like that?" Lili asks in awe.
Tae-Woo smiles with pride, "Something like that."
Realizing how much he must've been holding himself back with her, Lili offers, "You can be... rougher with me."
Tae-Woo turns his attention to Lili, bewildered.
"If it's easier for you," Lili clarifies sheepishly.
Tae-Woo turns over in his head how to respond to that one. Does she honestly have no idea that each time she hits the ground his gut as a warrior screams for him to do something to stop it?! He doesn't want to fight her. He doesn't want to be rough with her.
"The way I see it… teaching you to fight is a way of protecting you. I'll only be as hard on you as needed for that."
Lili realizes she's blushing against her volition and immediately turns to stare at the fighting. But that doesn't really help because Hak has his shirt off - HOLY MOTHER OF - and is fighting the Sky warriors with force and skill she can barely fathom. Is this usual?
Whoa. Yona is married… to… that means she… wow… because… those abs… I didn't realize… and the pecks… Lili lifts a hand to her lips to make sure she's not drooling. Ope, crap, she was. She wipes it away. Then turns to check if Tae-Woo saw-
Oh no. Tae-Woo didn't see. But Lili is realizing something for the very first time that now seems clear as day: Tae-Woo looks a LOT like Hak. He's like… a mini-Hak. And Hak is fucking hot.
Lili snaps her head forward.
I am not having these thoughts. I am not. He's my age. OR, eesh, younger. No no no.
Then she realizes - there's a cure for this: identify the girl Tae-Woo is fixated on.
It's night when Hak returns his gear to the weapons hold. He's the last fighter back - all the others are long gone off to dinner.
He's covered in sweat and rubbing his hair in a towel when when Yona appears in a cloak in the doorway.
Hak gravitates to her, "Are you OK? Where's Mundok? The dragons?" but really inside he's terrified of the answer to a single question, Are you leaving me?
"Shhh," Yona starts walking away into the night, motioning him to follow, "come this way."
Hak grabs a robe to throw over his shoulders as he follows her. The night air is crisp, cool. The moon is out, casting shadows throughout the courtyard. The palace is still in every direction.
Yona stops near a great oak and stands in the moonlight so Hak can see her face. She takes his hands in hers and looks up at him with so much sincerity in those amethyst eyes. Hak is struck.
"If I have to spend the rest of my life proving to you that you're second to no one in my heart, that your side is my only home… I won't hesitate. I will never stop if it's for you."
Hak's eyes widen. He's never been good at this sort of thing. His inclination is that she shouldn't have to say this. And yet, somewhere deep inside he's very mortal and needs her to set his aching, human heart at ease...
"I'm not going to meet Soo-Won. I won't leave you. I can't."
Not even a second passes before Hak pulls Yona into his arms, holding her tight against him, taking deep breaths of relief. Yona holds him back, her heart finally calming in his embrace, the way only the touch of lovers can set entire worlds right again.
Hak pulls back to look at Yona, he wants to kiss her - but he can see it. There's more.
"But I can't ignore this. I'd like to try something… if you agree together with me that it's OK."
"Princess, the dragons should be with you here. It's not good for them to be away on these missions and it's not safe for you to always-"
"That's not it. I agree with you about the dragons. And I am as determined as you to keep our baby safe by staying near them right now."
"But then…?"
"I asked Lili to go in my stead. It'll delay coronation and I know I've already asked so much of her… but if what Soo-Won needs to say has to be in person and only a couple people know he's alive… then I have to send someone I can trust and who Soo-Won trusts, too."
"That's an incredibly dangerous quest for her… and you know where I stand on the information Soo-Won is offering."
"Please, allow me this much, Hak."
"You'd risk her life over this?"
"This isn't about him, Hak. It's about bringing peace back to the palace, which will ripple out across Kouka. It's about our children playing in the courtyard without anyone worrying. I trust you, Hak, but the weight of the world shouldn't be on your shoulders. I want to help. Let me try."
Hak continues to think this through, "...Lili already knew Soo-Won's alive?"
"She knew from treating Jae-Ha. Very few know, Hak. That's why it has to be her."
Hak grumbles in his head about a few words he has for Jae-Ha later about this, then connects, "But you're not sending Droopy Eyes?"
"That's what I truly need your permission about because... I know how much he means to you. I want to send Tae-Woo with her."
Hak takes a moment before he answers, "That kid… he'll get her there safely. And… you can trust him to the grave."
But as Hak looks up at the stars in the sky, he can't help but stress over what this puts on the table for him in this. If Soo-Won were to hurt Tae-Woo because Hak agreed for this foolish mission happen… and there's no way Tae-Woo would refuse if Hak asked… now he has something he'd regret for the rest of his life riding on this.
"Lili's really tough, too, Hak. I don't think she'd let anything happen to him."
Hak looks back down at Yona with a distant fondness, "Today that kid asked me how to take care of her - in training. Like I did with you."
"Really?" Yona asks, thinking that's kinda sweet.
"He admires her spirit. Was afraid the physical pain'd chip away at it. I laughed. If she's anything like you… it may be annoying how devoted she is to reach her goal no matter how it hurts her. But there's something driving her that he can't see. And there's no stopping something like that. Only guiding it. In the end, he'll probably find… they're both stronger because of her."
Yona looks up at Hak, so grateful. She knows he doesn't agree. She knows what this means to him. But it looks like…
Hak closes his eyes, as though sending a prayer upward, then he opens them to meet Yona's, "OK. But this is it. He either has the information he says he does or..."
And Yona meets Hak there. He just gave up his position. She nods acceptance - she's willing to give up hers, too.