A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed and faved. I appreciate your feedback.

Sorry for the delay with this chapter but it fought me every step of the way. I'm a chronic re-drafter and this time I redrafted the chapter so much that it was a huge mess. After three weeks of messing with it, I finally managed to sort it out and then I realised the chapter was too long. So more procrastinating while I tried to figure out what to do - divide it into two short chapters, break it up and put part of it into the next chapter and potential mess up the flow of that one too. Then I thought- why am I torturing myself like this for on a crossover - no one is reading it anyway. Then I read the epilogue again - which btw I really, really like and I figured that I should just post the chapter as is.

So if you are wondering about my author's note - well it's partly explanatory and partly that I figure that you should have to suffer along with me. This venting seemed pretty mild by comparison to what I've put myself through through to produce this chapter, so I think in listening to me whine you're getting off pretty lightly. To say that I'm still not completely happy with it would be fair call but I'm also done. No really... I'm posting this right now so I can't tweek it again! BTW it isn't beta'ed so if you find any massive faux pas - I don't want to know.

Serieux Part 2

Chapter 5: Flawed Logic

Tobias Fornell had been really looking forward to Tony dropping his bombshell on the team and it had definitely lived up to his expectations. Not that Tobias considered himself an overly vindictive guy – not like Gibbs. He wouldn't mind betting that Jethro had a little black ledger book filled with people who'd done him wrong over the years.

Gibbs had more than lived up to his second B for bastard reputation since the shooting, actually he'd well and truly exceeded it (bastard always was an overachiever). Any kind offers he received from his team or peers while he was in hospital or recuperating were met with churlish anger and sarcasm. So when Jethro turned up at work before his sick leave expired, complete with his fashion makeover and Tobias had to wonder who the hell he was trying to fool. After all, his personality and attitude was what really needed transforming.

If your book was filled with ugly imagery and hate-filled prose or dangerous ideology you could slap a brand new dust jacket onto the existing book, full of butterflies, flowers and stunning vistas. Yet the new dust jacket didn't invalidate what was contained within the book's pages. To achieve that feat would require a major overhaul of the contents – an editor to take a red pen to it, a skilled writer to rewrite it, taking the edits into account and a publisher to do a reprint.

Still, Jethro's cosmetic makeover seemed to divert many of the peanut gallery at NCIS as they commented on his 'new look'. And wasn't that a sad commentary of the times they lived in, where reality shows had created alternate realities where superficiality and shallowness was revered and worshipped. As the daughter of a young teen he was, unfortunately, an expert on the scourge that reality television had become to a younger generation. But the point was that Jethro had done little to change his inner Gibbs, if anything, he was more unreasonable as his behaviour towards Tony since the shooting had demonstrated.

So if that made the fibbie a bad person for relishing Tony getting a few licks in before he left NCIS, then so be it. Fornell could live with it but even hoping to see some fireworks, he'd been a little surprised that DiNotzo said as much as he did – the normally mouthy agent was stoic when it came to revealing anything substantive about himself to others. Even more when revealing vulnerabilities. Keeping in mind all the crap he'd endured over the years from Gibbs, he'd still been restrained – a helluva lot more reasonable than Tobias would have been in his shoes.

He knew though, that DiNotzo was far too forgiving to ever seriously put the boot into his team mates or cause them real harm. While he might drive his colleagues' crazy with his sometimes juvenile sense of humour, he never intended to hurt any one of his colleagues and revenge was not a word in his vocabulary. Unless it was within the context of a pranking war and then all bets were off – not that he was the only one to go there, if it came to it.

Which was where Hermione Weasley and Big Badass FBI Agent Tobias Fornell came into the equation. They didn't mind causing a few tears or hurt feelings as payback for years upon years of abusive treatment.

He honestly wasn't sure what the new Minister of Magic had in store for Gibbs – he knew she had something good planned by the fire in her eyes. Okay that and maybe the determined way she'd made copious quantities of lists, created scenarios and contingencies, colour coded everything in her file and disappeared on a mysterious trip for a week.

He'd even tried sneaking a peek at her file after she came back to DC. Her file had started out an inch thick before her departure and had expanded to almost three inches thick after she came back. Since she refused to divulge her plan he'd decided to snoop, offering to carry it for her since it looked so heavy. She'd laughed and explained it wasn't necessary, although he was very chivalrous, since she'd placed a feather-light charm on the file so it weighed hardly anything. Damn! He was planning on dropping the file – accidently on purpose- and getting a quick look at the information when he picked it up.

He'd finally managed to get access to the file when Hermione had taken a shower and forgotten to lock it away. At least he thought she'd forgotten to secure the file, though when he opened it he hadn't got very far. When he tried to read it the pages were blank – every last one of them, even though he'd seen her reading them and there had been flow charts, text, bullet points (lots of bullet points), numerical lists, pie charts and colour coding when he'd tried looking over her shoulder. Figuring she'd charmed the file to be invisible, he sighed and had given up, frustrated at being outmanoeuvred.

It wasn't 'til later, when Hermione was sniggering every time she looked at him he decided that perhaps he had a piece of spinach caught between his teeth and headed to the bathroom to check. That's when he discovered that he was sporting a bright red word – SNOOP – in block letters across his forehead. He was chagrined and a bit pissed off that he'd been caught out spying, he thought he'd been far more discreet than that. Obviously not!

So he was going to have to wait to see what she had up her sleeve, because he'd extracted a promise from her when she'd first mooted the idea of payback that she would wait until Tony had departed so he wasn't caught in the fallout. Although that said, the anticipation was slowly killing him. It was even worse than hearing the news that a remake of the cult hit show MacGyver, or a courtroom procedural drama from the guy who'd made that show House were coming to television next fall and have to wait three long months to watch it.

Still, after his abortive attempts to discover what Hermione had planned, he had little choice. He was aware that she'd been described as the smartest witch of her age, and he had a feeling that once roused to defend her family, she could be a really formidable enemy. Now he'd seen her in action, he almost felt sorry for Jethro – he wouldn't want to be on her bad side.

Yet he also knew damned well that over the years, it hadn't just been Gibbs who'd been an absolute asshole to DiNotzo - they'd all taken a leaf out of Jethro's playbook. McGee and the probie breaking into the IRS to find out about Tony's finances was just the latest in a long line of team assaults and insults against him over the last fifteen years. And it went all the way back to Caitlyn Todd, their profiler with what some people seemed to think was harmless sibling-like banter. For the love of Mike though, the woman had a tongue so sharp it should have been registered as a lethal weapon.

He remembered eavesdropping on a conversation between Hermione and DiNotzo where they'd been talking about profiling and law enforcement procedures and its applicability for the DMLE. That had led to a discussion about the profiling and hostage negotiation training he'd done at Quantico and inevitably Caitlyn Todd's name had come up in the conversation. He'd commented that her tongue was so sharp that she could easily pierce basilisk hide with it.

Sidebar – Emily had informed him that it was supposed to be ten times tougher than armadillo scales. So okay that was pretty damned tough.

Hermione had asked if Cate might secretly have fancied him. Seeing his sceptical bemusement, she'd explained that perhaps Todd was so sharp due to the whole woman scorned thing. Tony had laughed violently, admitting that it had never entered his head and he was pretty sure not hers either.

"Honestly Kiddo, the way she used to harangue me and order me around like a prim schoolmarm with a stick stuck up her … yes well and lecture me continually. To be honest she often reminded me of Professor McGonagall after the Marauders had been caught out after curfew.

"Anyway, most of the time I was too busy being pissed off by Cate or yanking her chain to think about her like that – even if we hadn't worked on the same team. Besides, if she had the hots for anyone, it was Gibbs – she got really jealous when he flirted with a redhead.

"Of course, Minnie, contrary to appearances did possess a sense of humour for the ridiculous," he mused, his head cocked to the left as he recalled happier times. "Even while she was punishing the Marauders for one of our endless pranks there was a twinkle in her eye. Her humour might have been rather dry but Cate was pure sarcasm – which probably explained her attraction to Gibbs. Pity her profiling skills weren't anywhere near as sharp as her tongue – she'd have been really damned scary."

Tobias couldn't help snorting at that observation, because Tony describing her as a profiler really was him being incredibly kind. Not to mention it was an insult to the fine profession of psychological profiling, as she'd been woeful at it. Honestly, she had to be the only profiler to meet her future killer and conclude that he had 'kind eyes'. It would have been comical if it wasn't so damned tragic, since her kind-eyed assassin had shot her down in cold blood.

Still, it was many years since she'd died and Ziva David had replaced her on the team. And wasn't that a truly bizarre and twisted situation – that it was her dossiers she'd personally prepared, containing info on the MCRT personnel, including Caitlyn Todd for her half- brother, Ari, that enabled him to manipulate Gibbs and his team. That manipulation included killing Todd and the attempted murder of several others. Honestly, whoever thought that letting her killer's half-sister fill her place on the team was a good idea, was one really sick puppy!

Of course, it wasn't an excuse for her outrageous behaviour as a liaison for Mossad (how did a spy and assassin end up as liaison anyway) and then later on an NCIS agent when she gained US citizenship.

Sidebar - how the hell did a spy who'd committed acts of espionage against the US get naturalised anyway? Hello people, this was post 9/11, and there was a little thing called The Patriot Act, so how the hell did that happen?

Still… for all the shit she'd done to DiNotzo over the years and pain she'd caused – and she'd done a lot, the good news was she'd been gone for several years now. All Fornell could say about her departure was 'good riddance to bad rubbish'. The whole David clan was nothing but trouble and he fervently hoped that was the last they had to do with them, although even dead, he had a feeling that Eli's crap could always come back to bite them on the ass.

He was no fan of Ms David and thought NCIS were better off without the former member of Mossad. Still, Tobias admitted he was puzzled by Gibbs attitude towards Ziva ever since her resignation and subsequent return to Israel and he wasn't the only one. He remembered eavesdropping on a conversation between the veteran agent, Ric Balboa and another SSA, Jay Churchill in the NCIS cafeteria on one of his numerous visits to NCIS to handle the FBI's biggest pain in the butt i.e. L.J. Gibbs on a case.

It was after the team reformed and his butt had finally healed.

Flashback:

"It was like he was pissed off with her... and for that matter he'd been totally pissed off with Tony too after he went after Ziva to make sure she was safe." Balboa was saying, and Fornell's ears pricked up instantly.

" Yeah...let's face it, Jethro's usually the one to ride off into the sunset like a white knight on his magnificent steed, to save the fair maidens and young ones when they're in danger. And yet, he showed no desire to go to David's aid," Jay observed, sipping a coffee moodily.

"I know, considering she'd been like a surrogate daughter to him - he certainly protected her from facing criminal charges on more than one occasions." Balboa declared, his voice revealing his confusion, even if Tobias was unable to see his face since he had his back to him. "In fact, I'd go so far as to say he was totally disinterested, cold even, about yon fair maiden, Ziva David when he returned from his Black Ops mission."

"Definitely arctic despite knowing she was being targeted. Can't help wondering what caused him to have such a dramatic change of attitude towards her." Churchhill mused, staring at his cheese danish instead of eating it.

"True, but even if he's pissed with her, she was still part of his team for eight years – give or take a few months." Balboa argued. "What could she have done that was so heinous? After all, neither passing on classified intel to Mossad without authorisation or conspiring to conceal the killer of a federal agent, hadn't been a deal breaker."

Jay nodded. "True, and it wasn't like he was exactly knocking himself out to warn Tim or Tony either. I mean, this is the same guy who held a gun to the head of an innocent scientist because Tony had been exposed to his bio-jigged Y- pestis crap. So what's with the total apathetic, you- can- all- go-and-get- fucked attitude? I'm telling you Rocky, it doesn't make sense."

It didn't make any sense to the veteran FBI agent.

Not unless Gibbs' interest in Ziva was not so much paternalistic but merely a trophy in his alpha male pissing competition with Eli David. He knew Jethro blamed Eli for his son invading NCIS (his territory) and hurting NCIS personnel (his people) and managing to escape and make him look foolish (to his people) before finally killing Todd.

So had Ziva just been a means to an end? A way to stick it to Eli that he had more influence over Eli's assassin daughter than her own flesh and blood father (and boss) or her own country did?

Was it merely a coincidence that once Eli David was dead and Ziva had avenged the assassinations of her father (and more importantly in Gibbs's eyes), Jackie Vance, he seemed to lose all interest in her welfare? He didn't know - but he did know what Gibbs thought about coincidences.

End of flashback:

Thinking about that conversation he'd overheard several years earlier, Tobias was still no closer to figuring out why Ziva was suddenly persona non grata with Gibbs - even Tony had complained that it was as if she had ceased to exist. One thing Fornell did know, though, was that Tony would have picked up on his boss' indifference about his former favourite agent's safety. No doubt why he'd taken it upon himself to hunt her down and warn her that her she was in danger, when he realised Gibbs wouldn't.

Whatever had caused the Gunny's attitudinal change with David, it was obvious that Tony's gross act of rebellion (from Jethro's perspective) further strained his relationship with Jethro, since Gibbs always expected DiNotzo to follow his lead without question. He'd expediently ignored the fact that his 2IC had always had a strong moral compass and expected him to ignore Rule # 1 just because Gibbs told him to. Instead of treating him as the competent, loyal 2IC who looked after his team mates, he chose to treat him as a naughty, wilful child who'd gone wandering off on his own and needed to be taught a lesson.

Looking at his watch, Tobias debated whether he had time to visit the coffee cart in the naval yard to get a caffeine fix and he noted Leon Vance exiting his office. The tall and always impeccably turned out director was sans his jacket, looking uncharacteristically harried as he stormed across the mezzanine walkway toward the elevator before entering it. Even from down here, Tobias could hear him punching buttons frantically.

Sidebar – someone seemed like he was in an awful hurry to get out of there.

Tobias briefly wondered how DiNotzo was getting on in Legal and decided it might be fun to rattle Bishop's cage. Noting that Tony had left his phone behind, which suggested he was more distraught abought the scene in the bull pen with Gibbs than he'd let on, Fornell picked up the phone. He scrolled through the SFA's contacts before locating Bishop's cell phone number and using his phone, sent a text to the current MCRT probie.

Sitrep asap

Fornell

Smiling evilly when his phone rang almost immediately, he picked it up and listened as the newest member of Team Gibbs proceeded to give him a status update, delivered at a mile a minute. What it consisted of was that Tony was still meeting with the head of Legal and there had been no sign of unfriendlies. Advising her to keep her eyes skinned for trouble, he hung up, smirking.

Perhaps he was being a bit of a bastard for giving Gibbs' current probie a hard time but he wasn't feeling penitent about it. Until recently, he'd always thought that Ellie Bishop was a vast improvement on her predecessor - actually a vast improvement on both predecessors.

This year though, the former NSA analyst had shown some distressingly familiar tendencies to run off and behave like Dirty Harriet or infamous law unto Himself - Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Tobias didn't know if she was attempting to channel Jethro or even Ziva-Ninja-David. What he did know was the newbie would, even last year, have analysed the shit outta her regular plan to drive to the mall before executing a grocery shop. So her recent impulsivity in the field was absolutely out of character and therefore, damned scary.

It was the equivalent of McGee suddenly eschewing all thing computer related as the work of the devil, or Gibbs suddenly becoming garrulous, sympathetic and new-age touchy feely. Sciuto going cold turkey from Caf-Pow, heavy metal music and tatts or…well in other words, completely pod person.

Clearly, the young rookie had elected to rent out her brain and all its synapses to a tenant, deciding it was superfluous to her needs as an NCIS agent working under Gibbs. After all, Bishop, pre 2015 would have never dreamed of conspiring to hack into a supervisor's (not to mention a team mate's) tax information merely for some idle curiosity. Apparently she'd been spending way too much time hanging out with Gibbs and McGee if her GI Jane and Gary McKinnon-esque behaviour was anything to go by. And gullible people had thought McGeek was the one being corrupted and taken advantage of by 'Evil Ziva' since she had to be a bad influence on the boy-next-door because he was highly impressionable, but essentially a good boy!

Tobias got frustrated at people who thought McGee and Tony were best friends. Hell even Tony seemed to think they were best buds too - but then again, the ex-cop always let everyone on his team walk all over him. Talk about a door mat! His name should be entered into popular vernacular as in: make sure to wipe your feet on the DiNozzo at the front door before you come inside.

Doormat um DiNozzo overlooked McGee and David turning off his comms when he was undercover, plus other transgressions that would have seen them lose their jobs, or end up getting up close and personal with penitentiary hospitality if he'd reported them. He couldn't believe how much shit he'd confessed to Hermione about what they said or done over the years. That's the problem with Gibbs creating his own personal doormat – the rest of the team felt comfortable wiping their feet on him too.

Fornell was aware of scuttlebutt in the law enforcement community that argued that Timothy Farragut (no wonder he couldn't pass that lie detector test) McGee had grown up and cleaned up his act ever since Ms David had gone back to Israel. Ergo, Evil-Ziva-David was to blame for all of his insubordinate and passive aggressive behaviour in the past. However, anyone who'd studied philosophy 101 should know that inference was based on flawed logic – to wit - a post hoc ergo propter hoc fallacy, which, if Tobias remembered his Latin correctly meant 'after this, therefore because of this'.

He'd always found understanding this type of fallacy of logic to be a highly useful tool in investigation. He'd observed inexperienced agents fall into this trap, time and time again, especially when they tried to examine complex intel. Essentially, the fallacy argued that since event Y (in this case McGee's supposed maturation of which he was yet to be convinced had occurred) followed event X (David returning to live in Israel) event Y must have been caused by event X. So challenging the fallacy challenged the presumption of causality, requiring that other factors be considered as well.

In this case, just because David's absence occurred at the same time that McGee's change in behaviour seemed to occur, this was not in itself causal proof she was the origin of his previous behaviour – or even if she was, that she was the only factor responsible. For example, there were other a number of things which had also changed or occurred around the time of her departure or because of it, which could equally have impacted him.

First and foremost, Tony, Ziva and McGee all resigned from NCIS at the same time as Gibbs went off on his secret mission. Tim, Ziva and Gibbs came under close scrutiny for some extremely serious offences, which must have shaken McGee up - although maybe not – he still thought it was perfectly acceptable to hack into the IRS for his own idle curiosity. Nor had it impacted on Gibbs' behaviour either.

Tobias did wonder if it was what had prompted Ziva to head back to Israel though. Having someone finally call her on her behaviour might have scared the crap out of her – made her realise just how vulnerable she was. Perhaps she assumed that Mossad would shield her from prosecution for the Bodnar assassination? For all he knew, she might well be right.

Another factor that must have bearing on the individuals was the dissolution of the team, who had gone their separate way for months. During that time – there was the chance for them to engage in personal growth, for new skills and interests to emerge and develop. Not to mention for terrorists dirtbags to make attempts on their lives when each was vulnerable and without backup. A situation that Fornell was guessing would have had the biggest impact of all on McGee since he wasn't accustomed to being a target, unlike his former team mates.

Then obviously, there was Gibbs and his behaviour that had a huge effect upon the team and its members after its reformation. When he came back, Jethro was different, uncaring of his former agents' welfare which was odd, since he regarded them as his personal property – and never mind sempre fi. Hell, his so- called friend had blithely shot him in the ass to achieve his objective post Black Ops mission – and he was pretty sure that Gibbs never lost a moment of sleep over injuring him either, more than likely he was still laughing his head off. So definitely something very off about his behaviour.

Tobias' bullet riddled ass aside though, Gibbs had also not been impressed when Tony ignored him and embarked on a needle in a haystack hunt for Ziva after Gibbs suddenly decided to ignore his most fundamental rule – don't screw over your partner. Tony had compounded that sin by staying in Israel instead of returning home when ordered by Gibbs and earning his ire.

McGee was now Jethro's new golden haired child, replacing Ziva as his favourite. He rewarded him for returning meekly to the MCRT and following his lead. Fornell suspected his ultimate prize for remaining faithfully by Gibbs side was being handed point on a murder case DiNotzo should have led in Gibbs absence. But his reward wasn't just being given point, it was getting to watch DiNotzo be grossly humiliated as punishment for his rebelliousness since he always greatly relished Tony's punishments. Then to really rub his SFA's nose in it, as if disrespecting his rank and professionalism by relegating him to taking orders from a junior agent wasn't enough, Gibbs had sought help from everyone else on the team except Tony, regarding his difficulties with his father, which had wounded his IC deeply.

Fornell had a fair idea that Gibbs had known it did too and it had been his intention from the beginning. After all, he had to know how much being excluded hurt his SFA after working with him for so long. Gibbs was many things, but he wasn't stupid – he also had an unerring knack of sussing out an opponent's weak spots.

The point was that Gibbs' treatment of DiNozzo and McGee after the MCRT reformed was likely to have effected not just team dynamics, but also each individual. A factor which should not be overlooked in the big picture.

Sidebar - the FBI agent also wondered if part of the reason why Jethro had been hell bent on punishing DiNotzo following his time in Israel was not just because Tony had defied him by going, but that he'd also failed to bring David back to DC. Let's face it, Gibbs really didn't appreciate people leaving his team – control freak that he was. He always had to be the one to show people the door. Stan Burley was a prime example. The man had been a part of his team, his SFA for five years but after he had the balls to put in for a transfer, Gibbs had treated him like one of his ex-wives.

The truth was that once the former gunny found agents that he managed to housebreak to his excessively exacting and unreasonable standards of being on call 24/7 and ignoring his abusive behaviour, Jethro hung onto them for grim death, long after they should be moving onwards and upwards. Being together too long meant that the lines became blurred between his agents being members of a team and something more, due to Gibbs' refusal to encourage agents to move on when they should.

Abby Sciuto would whine that they were all one big happy family but children developed skills, grow independent, rebel against their parents before finally leaving the nest to spread their wings. Gibbs team were more like indentured slaves – and like the song says, 'You can check-out any time you like but you can never leave.' Unless, of course, Gibbs decides after 15 years of devoted service he doesn't want you anymore.

Another factor that likely made a difference to McGee's demeanour was a certain green little probie who'd been hired to take Ziva's place on the team. One who was far more like McGee than she was like the two previous female agents whose place she filled. While Todd and David had no investigative experience either, they were essentially the brawns, the brute force kind of agents – the kickass, act now, think later types and Ellie Bishop had most definitely been the brains. Her analytical abilities and observational skills should make for a thoughtful, intelligent investigator further down the track - when she'd gained more experience (if she didn't keep going off half-cocked and get killed).

The point was that she was someone who didn't make McGee feel inferior when they were together in the field, unlike Cate or Ziva had, with their ability to bust a guy's balls, one literally and the other one, figuratively. Especially someone like McGee who was so easily intimidated by domineering women.

Bishop, with her unassuming nature, humility and eagerness to learn was happy to take advice from the perennial junior agent, which Fornell had to think would be a big boost to his ego. Not only would he feel a kinship with her for her computer abilities but he probably felt like he could mentor her in the field. Although to be honest Tobias cringed at the thought of what he might teach her, in light of McGee's screwing the pooch with that joint undercover investigation involving his girlfriend.

Ellie was a much more collaborative personality which inevitably created a much less competitive environment within the team, even while Gibbs continued to pit his agents against each other. The team dynamic definitely had changed for the better with her arrival – the rest of the team were quite protective towards her, he'd noticed. Certainly Emily was enamoured by her and starved as she was for female role models with her mother dead, she was a much better role model for his daughter than Ziva David would had been.

Then there was the Delilah Factor – which arguably had to be a most powerful influence on McGee and his behaviour. When they resigned and Ziva returned to Israel, McGee met Delilah Fielding and started his first significant romantic relationship since becoming an agent. Obviously Fornell wasn't counting the affair between Abby Sciuto and McGee as a real relationship, it was more of a fling or series of one-night stands since as soon as the Goth thought he was getting serious about her, she had dumped him. She'd left him the victim of a fiercely unrequited love for her that had continued unabated for years… until he'd met Delilah and commenced going out with her.

Somehow, Fornell thought that much of any McGee's behavioural change and maturation he'd exhibited recently was likely to be because he was having a relationship with an adult female who was normal, not intent on dominating him. Delilah was definitely a good thing for McGee – he needed to grow up and get rid of the massive chip on his shoulder and start accepting responsibility for his actions.

Bottom line though, heaping all the blame on Ziva for his actions was a copout. He was a highly intelligent adult, who'd attended FLETC and graduated top of the class, so he couldn't claim ignorance. Besides, if he was so easily lead by a liaison/probie agent, then what did that say about how simple it would be for perps or terrorists to turn him too? He couldn't have his cake and eat it too, he was either unable to stand up for what he knew was right and that made him a security risk. If he wasn't a security risk, then he needed to accept responsibility for his failure to follow the chain-of-command and agency protocols and start behaving professionally.

Fornell wasn't convinced that his so-called maturation and change of attitude had occurred so much as Tim had just gotten smarter (sneakier) about how he expressed those feelings. The situation with the poison ivy this morning pretty much demonstrated he was still the same old McGee – even with no evil Ziva David whispering in his ear. As for the IRS caper, she sure wasn't there holding a deadly paper clip to his head, threatening him to get details of his work mate's tax info if he didnt hack their database.

Honestly, if McGee truly was DiNotzo's best friend as he claimed, Fornell felt Tony was probably better off friendless. The fact was Tim seemed to positively glow at Tony's misfortunes, like when Gibbs was angry with Tony, which seemed to happen a lot since getting shot. What his 'best friend' seemed to be blind to was just how frequently Tony drew Gibbs ire to protect the juniors tender hide, and having Tim smirking gleefully when he took their punishments hurt him a lot more than Gibbs head slaps and vitriol.

Fornell still vividly recalled his smugness when visiting DiNozzo in the FBI lockup years ago, when he was being held for murder. After being framed for murder, a show of solidarity definitely wouldn't have gone astray. It was not a time for point scoring, as Fornell knew from personal experience. Unfortunately, getting locked up in jail for a murder when you were an innocent federal agent was when you found out who your real friends were. And taunting someone when they were down wasn't the actions of a friend.

Sidebar to self - no wonder Tony had freaked out so badly when he was facing imprisonment for a murder he hadn't committed. It must have evoked many terrifying memories from Sirius' life in that infamous hell-hole, Azkaban and have seemed like a bad case of deja vu. And wasn't hindsight a marvellous institution.

As for the notion of a 'best friend' using their hacking skills to break into the IRS because they were curious about how their friend was able to afford an apartment? In his opinion that was no act of a friend – let alone a good one. It was also an incredibly stupid, arrogant thing to do, since every man and his dog knew that you don't mess with the IRS - even Al Capone learnt that the hard way.

Hacking the IRS database to catch a terrorist when there wasn't time to wait for a subpoena, that was one thing and Fornell could turn a blind eye to it – maybe. BUT prying into a teammate's private business, purely out of curiosity - that was indefensible, not to mention illegal.

Which brought him to his own stated intentions to teach McGee and Bishop that just because they were feds, it didn't give them carte blanche to hack into other agents' personal and financial data. He also knew that Tony wouldn't want the Geek Hackers to get into real trouble – if he had, he could have gone to IA and reported their petty little foray into the IRS database. So bearing that in mind, Tobias decided to give them one chance before he visited the Fires of Hell upon their heads.

The Fibbie intended to bait his trap while he was on 'Protection Detail" today and if they decided to hack into the FBI…well that was all on them and he'd throw the book at them. However, if they kept their noses out of what didn't concern them, then he'd ignore the intel about the IRS and let someone else worry about NCIS agents treating classified government databases as their personal playground.

Personally, he had little confidence that they'd resist the lure of classified intel about DiNozzo supposedly hidden in the bowels of the FBI's computer but the truth was that their fate was in their own hands. That way, should they be stupid enough to break into the FBI's computers he could look into DiNotzo's soulful, puppy-dog eyes and tell him, with hand -on-the-heart- honesty that any bad consequence brought down on their heads, were of their own making entirely.

Deciding to make a call to his contact at the bureau, he chose to head outside where he could find some privacy. As he headed towards the stairs, he observed Gibbs finally stomping out of the director's office and he recalled Vance had left some time ago. Fornell wondered briefly what he'd been doing up there on his own in the director's inner sanctum, although knowing Gibbs, he'd probably taken the opportunity to drink Leon's coffee pot dry.

Looking at his watch he decided that after he called his 'secret weapon' he would text Bishop – demand another sit rep on her protection duty. This was the best fun he'd had at NCIS since…well he'd never had this much fun. Best pack as much into it as possible - perhaps he should find Gibbs and have a little chat.

~000~

Leon informed his temporary PA that he was going to be out of the office for a meeting as he stalked past, leaving Gibbs still in mid rant in his office. Gibbs had burst in earlier, demanding to know who had offered DiNozzo a job. He'd been furious when he informed him that the information was above his pay grade and then when he offered the news that he'd been offered a directorship of a secret agency Jethro went ballistic. He wouldn't have been shocked if Gibbs had had another panic attack/melt down like he'd had earlier in the year, although frankly, he didn't understand what was stuck in his craw.

He honestly expected Jethro would be over the moon, since he'd been on a mission to freeze DiNozzo out of the MCRT since he came back from Shanghai. Now that his objective was achieved he was supposed to be smug not apoplectic.

The director had heard the various scuttlebutt going around the office about why Gibbs was treating his loyal senior field agent like a piece of three-day old dog crap that he'd stepped in, and was still trying to get it off his boots. There were a number of theories - mostly divided into two camps. There was the pro-Gibbs camp that seemed to think the only conceivable reason why Gibbs could be such an asshole to DiNozzo was because he was delivering some much needed tough love. According to this particular scenario, the tough love was to persuade him to move onwards and upwards at the agency, because Gibbs was so gosh darn proud of his protégé's achievement in apprehending Daniel Budd.

Obviously Dr Mallard and Dr Sciuto were firmly of this camp, and surprisingly, so too was Dr Palmer. It seems in the years since that since he'd become a father, Gibbs had become a close confidant of the young ME. He'd also become sympathetic to the plight of Anthony DiNozzo Senior – excusing his less than stellar behaviour as a parent because now he was one too, it gave him insight into just how hard it was to be a father. Frankly, Leon didn't give a shit how hard it was to be a father, a real man didn't abandon his child, and kids didn't get a choice - they didn't ask to be brought into the world by alcoholic conmen.

He'd personally checked out Senior when he'd assisted the agency a couple of times, and of course the time when he'd been charged with murder, his background had been run. What Leon learnt about the man was far from flattering. He was also disappointed that people supposed to be top notch investigators were so easily sucked into the man's bullshit. It did however make the director more empathetic towards DiNozzo for what he'd had to have overcome in his less than optimal upbringing.

Then there was the more jaundiced point of view by some of the veterans that held that Gibbs was treating DiNozzo like shit after the debacle in Iran because he felt insecure about his leadership and he was pissed off about being shot. Several of the SSAs and more jaded and experienced SFAs opined that he'd been perfectly happy to use DiNozzo's talents and skills, as long as he stayed two steps to the rear and that Gibbs' got all the accolades – which obviously hadn't happened for the takedown of The Calling. As far as the cynics were concerned, Jethro's abrupt change of attitude occurred immediately after Tony killed Budd, and him not treating anyone else like dirt was ample proof of their theory.

The only thing they couldn't agree on was why he didn't just kick his 2IC off the team – after all, there was a time before DiNozzo came along, when Gibbs regularly fired agents. He had been notorious about getting rid of people, so they didn't understand why he would change his MO so dramatically. Vance was aware that according to NCIS lore, Jethro's record was firing an agent two hours after he'd been assigned to Gibbs when the probie blundered, letting a process server up into the bullpen to serve Gibbs with divorce papers from his third ex-wife, Stephanie.

Leon was aware of several other viewpoints – one an offshoot of the pro-Gibbs camp. This group insisted that Jethro, after a tragic near death experience, had been unable to deny his romantic love for DiNozzo a moment longer. Since he couldn't cope with the unrequited love – and totally unaware that DiNozzo was hopeless in love with him too - he decided to drive him away by being cruel and cold to DiNozzo.

While this theory sounded crazy, it was perpetuated by a bunch of employees who apparently liked reading erotic romance novels. According to his PA, they were diehard shippers of the slasher persuasion and no, apparently that didn't mean slashers of the 'psycho with a knife' variety. Instead they used a pen, and wrote about ships (no not boats - relationships) male on male or very occasionally, female on female sexual liaisons. And mostly they picked heterosexuals and paired them together because... well he didn't really know.

Then she showed him some of the Deep Six slash stories that had been posted on line – wondering how many were authored by people in the building who they worked with. He'd nearly choked on his toothpick when he discovered Director Neo Lance had been paired with Agent McGregor, Tor Kent, Pimmy Jalmer, Fobias Cornel and perhaps the most disturbing, Goosy in different stories – sometimes Lance was in threesomes. Reading the smut – half of which left him clueless and the rest panicking that Jared or Kayla might ever see it or worse, might have seen it, he'd felt furious.

He had felt an overwhelming desire to shoot McGee for writing those stupid damned books. Not to mention he wanted to dig up Jenny Shepard and beat the shit out of her for not putting a stop to it as she should have, instead of her using her office and position to hunt down her father's alleged killer.

And while he was at it, he'd also throttle her for the dumbass move promoting a rank probie without the requisite investigatory experience or skill to the role of SFA when Gibbs stormed off in a snit to Mexico. Dumbass because it would be the equivalent of him appointing Bishop as SFA – since she'd been a field agent for almost three years to the two McGee had under his belt when Shepard gave him the promotion.

Anyway, Jen Shepard's incompetence aside, the slasher types had decided that Gibbs was being a total bastard because he loved his senior field agent with a love so pure he couldn't bear it anymore. Honestly, even if that schlock was true – Gibbs was the most abusive, toxic individual imaginable, based on how he related to people on the job. There were times when the director seriously pondered the state of his marriage with his Shannon – with his soulmate. Had it been all rainbows and unicorns or was it toxic too, because a leopard didn't usually change its spots.

Plus, there was the minor matter of the untimely death of Pedro Reynosa and Gibbs' hand in it. There was no way that the very moral former cop could have a 'healthy' relationship with a cold blooded murderer who felt zero remorse for what he'd done. DiNozzo was too principled to be able to look the other way over something so fundamentally opposed to everything he stood for, not without it destroying him.

Truthfully, if he thought there was a hope in hell that Tony might have been involved with Gibbs or have feelings for him, then Leon would rather lose DiNozzo to the Brits than see that happen. Hell, he would personally drive him to the airport, shove him on the damned plane and cancel his US passport. He shook his head, disgusted.

And then there were the other shippers, mostly from the secretarial pool, aka The Mills and Boon or the Harlequin brigade. These people were equally deluded into believing that DiNozzo and Ziva David were star crossed lovers. Basically they saw them as NCIS' answer to Romeo and Juliet, Mark Antony and Cleopatra, Isolde and Tristan or Scarlett O'Hara and Rhett Butler. According to their hypothesis (conspiracy theory) Ziva had asked Gibbs to persuade Tony he couldn't live without her, so he'd go back to Israel, sweep her off her feet and marry her.

A variation of that theory was that she was pregnant with his love child and Gibbs was furious that DiNozzo left Ziva pregnant and unmarried, so he was treating him like shit. There were countless Lisa/Tommy stories based on that premise, that or she came back to introduce him to said love child. Seriously, Kayla could come up with more plausible scenarios.

Vance thought these people needed to get a life, take off their rose coloured glasses and stop imagining fantasy love affairs between members and or former members of the MCRT. Just like Gibbs, Ziva David would be nothing short of toxic to DiNozzo should she ever get her hooks into him. Leon had seen footage of her assaulting him when they'd been in Tel Aviv after DiNozzo shot Rivkin.

The 'so called' star crossed lover knocked him down, an injured DiNozzo, and come within a hairsbreadth of killing him without a flicker of regret. Watching it on playback, it had been such a close thing, it had made Vance's skin crawl. He didn't need his brilliantly wise, late wife Jackie, to tell him that hurting someone was never a sign of love or a healthy relationship. It was an out and out sign of an domestic abuse.

As he drove across town, heading to the markets where he'd bought his cloth Gibbs doll…uh…cloth-representation-of-a- person, he pondered the question of why Gibbs was acting so incensed by Tony's departure. He should be crowing since he'd won and Tony was leaving. Instead the man had thrown a massive tantrum, shouting about his precious security clearance and demanding to know where DiNozzo was going.

Leon wasn't sure if he'd been read in on the agency that had snapped DiNozzo up, if he would have shared the details with Gibbs. He was acting so crazy that he wouldn't put it past Jethro to try to make trouble for DiNozzo in his new job, before he'd even started it. The fact of the matter was, that despite the conjecture about why he'd acted like such a prick, and really there was no other descriptor for his behaviour, Leon Vance had a pretty good idea why Gibbs wouldn't, why he couldn't throw Tony off the team when he came back from Shanghai. He might not understand why he was being such a prick - although he leaned more towards the Tony-made-him-look-bad theory or even 'my mess, I clean it up' rule. What Vance was pretty sure of was why Gibbs chose to freeze him out, rather than transfer him off the MCRT.

It was a variation of another those wretched rules of his - Rule # 6 to be precise. Never apologise - it's a sign of weakness. Leon suspected that particular rule existed primarily because Gibbs couldn't ever admit to being wrong. DiNozzo had worked 15 years on Gibbs team after he personally handpicked him, not to mention telling people, including himself that DiNozzo was the best young agent he'd ever worked with. Gibbs was also fond of telling everyone that he didn't tolerate second best and therein now lay his conundrum. DiNozzo was so good he'd upstaged the Master, but if Gibbs tried to fire him for incompetence, apart from looking vindictive and foolish, he'd essentially be admitting that he'd tolerated someone on his team who was incompetent.

Gibbs was such extreme alpha male; he couldn't bear to lose face or admit he was wrong. Firing his SFA now would be tantamount to saying he had been wrong for the last 15 years and he couldn't bear the thought. Leon was pretty certain that was the real reason why he'd tried his damnedest to make DiNozzo resign off his own bat. And it had worked.

Finding a car space to park his SUV, he smiled since it was just a short stroll to the markets. Part of him felt ashamed that he had played hooky from work to buy a cloth-representation-of-a-person, so he could rip it's balls off just to relieve his stress. Another part recalled his internist warning him about his hypertension and entreating him to adopt less stressful habits.

As he made his way to the market stall, he pondered Gibbs behaviour this morning that had left him reaching for the bottle of booze in his desk drawer for a second time and it hadn't even been lunchtime. In the end he'd walked out in the middle of Gibbs rant, deciding that a trip the market might be childish but essentially less destructive that alcohol. In fact, he could actually be said to be following doctor's orders – filling a prescription, even.

He just didn't understand why after making DiNozzo feel like a fifth wheel on the team and basically freezing him out of investigations, Gibbs would be so furious to have gotten what he wanted. DiNozzo was leaving the team.

As he bought his X-rated cloth-representation-of-a-person and decided to get a couple of spares, he spied a boxed set of some collectible figurines in the bargain basement section. It was from a defunct hospital drama series set in his old home and he was struck by how much some of the characters looked familiar. Huh – he and Jackie must have watched it back in the day when the kids were little and he could snuggle up with her on the sofa.

There was a busty red head, a guy that was spookily like his current stomach ulcer - Leroy Jethro Gibbs and a figurine who could be his own doppelganger, except it looked a heap younger - and a whole heap less stressed. Making a split second decision, he purchased the set in addition to his cloth-representation-of-a-person…um stress reduction equipment.

Deciding to grab a latte at a cafe he thought about his impulse buy of the figurines – he resolved he use the red-headed figurine as a substitute for his predecessor. Maybe he could stick pins in her or rip her head off and flush it down the toilet – somehow he was feeling calmer already.