Author Note: Sorry I've not updated in a while, I've been away on vacation and not had access to internet! I hope you like this next chapter and that you feel inclined to review :)
All disclaimers still stand.
For the past few weeks, Toronto had been living up to its name as one of the safest cities in North America. Shifts had come and gone and drinks at the penny had become innumerable but throughout the blur of the weeks, there had been one bold constant: Nick.
He and Gail had broken up two weeks ago and ever since then; my days of feeling alone in the city were over. Despite our ever-growing closeness, neither Nick nor Gail was willing to reveal the details or divulge anything as to why they'd split. At first it unsettled me that Nick wouldn't share the reason with me but I've come to realize that I don't need to know why exactly. I don't need to know because he seems to be dealing with it and moving on ok; he's made the choice to accept the change. We also seem to be growing closer, if that's possible, although both of us has yet to broach the subject of "us" and we seem to be constantly dancing around the elephant in the room. Are we finally ready to give us a try?
All these thought were whirling around in my head as I shut my locker door at the end of another shift.
"Andy?" Nick's voice broke through my reverie and brought me back to the present.
"Yes?" I replied, turning around to face him.
"You coming to the Penny?"
"Yeah of course I am. I'll see you there." I said, watching him nod his head in acknowledgement as he exited the locker room.
Taking a minute to gather my things off of the bench, my mind idled for a minute on the strangeness of our encounter. Normally Nick offers me a lift to the Penny if I'm going, he never agrees to meet there. As I assess the reasons for his behavior change, I suddenly remember that Frank had partnered Nick and Gail today. That's it: he's had a hard day and he just needs to get to the Penny. Simple as.
Walking out of the station with my bag slung over my shoulder, I begin to think about how I can help Nick. Would shots or tomato omelet work better? As I approached the gates of the parking lot, I felt a hand grasp my arm. My head flew around to see whom it was that was trying to get my attention this time, but I already knew. No one else but Sam would corner me in the parking lot.
"Can we talk?" He asked, his dark eyes burning into mine.
"Yeah, sure." I answered, slightly wary as to why he was suddenly urgent to talk.
We both walked over to his truck and climbed in. The energy that filled the cab was reminiscent of the time when we spoke after my first shift back; a mixture of nervousness and excitement at being so close together again.
"Sam." I voiced his name in an attempt to break the stalemate of quietness.
"Andy." We both started at the same time.
"You go first." He said, a small smile playing on his lips as he shoved his tongue into his cheek.
"I just wanted to say that I'm happy for you." My voice picking up speed, the more I grew confident in my speech. "Marlo seems like a great person and you seem to work together. I'm not going to lie to you and say that it was easy when I first came back and I saw you together, in fact, it's one of the hardest things that I've ever had to go through."
"Andy, I never wanted to make anything hard for you not now and certainly not then."
"It's ok Sam. Really, it's ok. I'm ok." I interrupted. "You know though, there was a time when I was determined to get you back, hell even Oliver said I shouldn't give up, but then I saw how you were with her and I saw you smile, Sam. When I saw you smile I knew that I should back away. I should back away and let you be happy because I want that for you Sam; I want you to be happy." I said, hoping to convey the sincerity of my feelings.
"McNally," he whispered lingering on my name as if he were savoring it, "I want you to be happy too. I want you to have what I couldn't give or be to you because, God knows Andy, that you deserve it. I'm just sorry that it couldn't be me." He replied, sadness entering his eyes as he spoke.
"So am I Sam, but I think this is where we need to be. I need to make the choice to move on and that's what I'm doing." As I was speaking, I could feel the weight of the past four years lifting off of my shoulders and leaving no trace behind.
"If that's what your gut is telling you then, you need to listen to it and trust it. It's never let you down yet."
"Thanks Sam." I said, a sense of finality leaking through my words as I leaned across the console to gently place a kiss upon his cheek.
"You're welcome McNally." He said as we stared into each other's eyes, remembering our past and committing ourselves to a new future.
I brushed my hand over his as I left the truck and stood at the side of the space as he pulled out of the lot towards the Penny. I pulled myself together and made the short six block walk to my awaiting drink.
When I walked through the door, I saw Nick standing at the bar. Our eyes met within a second and he beckoned me over to him. As I approached him, he handed me one of the two beers that occupied the spot next to him.
"You know me well." I said, smirking at the truthfulness of the statement.
"Come here Andy." He said as he pulled me towards the corridor near the bathrooms.
"Where are we going Nick?" I asked.
"Just stand here." He implored, rooting me firmly in place as he positioned himself inches from me.
For a minute, we stood there simply searching each other's face. I was looking for some sign of impending speech whilst Nick seemed to be assessing my face for some reason.
Then, out of the blue and with no build up,
"I broke up with Gail"
"Oh"
"Oh? That's it? Andy McNally, the woman of many words and all you can say is "oh'?"
"You know that I knew Nick. All I want to know is why. I've been asking you since it happened to tell me but all you've done is shoot me down."
"You know why Andy, please don't pretend as if you don't. I told you that it wasn't working with Gail months ago; I told you I felt something with you and it's only intensified over the last couple of weeks. I also told you after the Davis UC that I like our simplicity- that's what I want Andy. A simplicity that makes me want to commit and that allows me to just be me. I want simple Andy. I want simple with you."
I tried to speak but I couldn't make any sound. All I could do was stare intensely at Nick; the man who just poured his feelings out to me, the man who has always been there for me; the man who wants to be with me.
As I was staring at him, I was barely conscious of him searching my eyes waiting for a reply but it could not permeate strongly enough through the earlier words of Sam's.
"Trust your gut."
My head flicked to the main area of the penny where I saw Sam engrossed in conversation with some other detective and Oliver, it then whipped back to Nick. In that instant something clicked. Something perceptibly altered in my mind and I finally saw the change that I'd been seeking.
"I want simple too." I said, bursting into a triumphant smile as I looked at Nick.
