A/N:Thanks to everyone who left reviews, followed or faved Serieux. Feedback is always gratefully received. While I'm loath to predict how many more chapters til the story is complete - since I'm inevitably wrong, at this point I'm predicting for what it's worth - that there may be another 2-3 chapters plus a two part epilogue which takes place in London six months after Tony's departure. I've had it written for months - before this story expanded exponentially. LOL. I did have an idea for a short follow up piece - possibly one or two chapters but that won't be happening anytime soon. I have several other WIP I want/need to finish off first.

This one isn't beta'ed so if you spot anything major I'd appreciate a heads up so I can fix it. Hope you enjoy it :D.

Serieux Part 2

Chapter 14 It's a Sign!

Hermione was sitting in the hospital cafeteria at Walter Reed, sipping her tea, wondering if she should have opted for coffee because her cup of tea really wasn't all that flash. It had been made with a teabag and while she wasn't such a tea snob that she didn't used teabags sometimes, these were no frills, cheap and nasty variety, using the dregs of the leaf dust – so not a lot of love there. Watching Dean, who was accompanying her today as protection detail while she was within the hospital campus, grimace as he swallowed his coffee she decided perhaps not. Apparently the coffee was just as bad. It seemed to be a universal truism that hospitals and good food didn't go together.

Although… the pie here wasn't bad, not bad at all. Americans seemed to have quite the obsession with pie – sweet pies and the witches and wizards were having fun trying out the different varieties. Often the UK contingent would each order a different variety of pie and then share them – which is what they had done today. Hermione had ordered chocolate cream pie and Dean had opted for pecan pie.

While she was missing her scones, she'd decided that pie good too. The witch was truly amazed at the range of sweet pies they'd encountered while they were in America. Pumpkin pie, Key lime pie, cherry pie – which she loved and was probably her favourite – peach pie, lemon meringue, pecan, deep dish apple pie had all been hits with the group of wizards and witches. They had a list of pies they still wanted to taste, providing they were here long enough to sample them. They included some of the more exotic ones including banana cream pie, the oddly named turtle pie and grasshopper pie, coconut cream pie and sweet potato pie if they had the opportunity.

Going halfsies with her, Dean sampled his share of the chocolate pie and nodded approvingly.

"Yum…that's really good," he enthused, digging in for a second mouthful. "By the way, Agent Fornell wanted me to pass on to you that they had another intruder in your suite. This one was from the NSA – they're the National Security Agency. He says they were pretty red-faced at getting caught with their hands in the cookie jar, as the Yanks say."

She scowled. "Let me guess, they wouldn't talk?"

He nodded.

"So we have no idea if they are working under orders from their superiors or independently."

This time he answered her verbally. "No and we don't know if it is connected to DiNozzo's appointment and they've made the connection or they're just curious about what we're doing here in DC."

Clearly angry she growled, "I'm tempted to post the video anonymously on You-tube to embarrass these tossers."

Dean looked pleased at the suggestion. "Why don't we?"

"Because it might just up the ante and still not solve anything. It's a risk and I'm not sure I want to get into a one-upping war leaking videos of NSA and CIA and other amorphous agencies online."

Her so-called bodyguard nodded reluctantly, "If you say so."

"Probably wise. These guys don't mess around." They looked up to find Fornell standing over the table, shaking his head at the visitors indulging their pie preoccupation…again.

"You guys are going to need to go on a strict diet when you head home after overdosing on pie," he warned them, only half joking.

"Nope. Spend an hour every morning and night in the hotel gym," the already buff wizard bragged immodestly.

Hermione looked at them both apologetically but smirked nonetheless. "Fast metabolism."

Throwing his hands in the air in disgust and huffing, he switched topics. Grabbing a chair from a nearby table and depositing his cup of coffee on the table as he joined them, he asked. "So…did it work, Kiddo?"

She nodded. "Yeah, it did."

"So she admitted it was an act?"

"Oh yeah, she did. Although she still expects Gibbs to come to her rescue," she explained, rolling her eyes.

"So…did you do it?"

"Yes, it's done." Hermione affirmed briefly.

Tobias regarded her shrewdly, "Any regrets?"

Hermione thought about all the vile garbage Sciuto had spewed forth, blaming Tony for the mess she'd made of her life. No acknowledgement that she had behaved abominably, no hint of remorse or personal responsibility for how she'd acted. Shaking her head firmly she replied, "Nope, no regrets at all."

Dean snorted, "Ain't karma a bitch?"

Hermione thought back to how several days ago they had been discussing Abby and how they were fairly certain she was faking it to avoid being charged with assaulting a federal agent. She had decided, albeit reluctantly to agree to SecNav's proposal to force her to resign from the agency in order to avoid a trial and going to prison. Part of the agreement included that NCIS would keep the reason for her resignation confidential. The confidentiality wasn't for her benefit, but so she wouldn't endanger past convictions or pending trials/courts martial and trial hearings.

Harry had made a most sensible suggestion that a further stipulation to the agreement should be added, banning Abby from seeking employment at any law enforcement agencies. As Harry pointed out, because of the secrecy clause necessary to protect the agency's arse, without the secondary clause she could go out and find a job with a state lab or a police department or even Merlin forbid, one of the other alphabet agencies – apart from the FBI. Everyone had agreed that Potter's suggestion was a judicious and necessary addendum to the agreement.

Hermione still felt less than wholly satisfied with the likely consequences if/when they proved Sciuto to be malingering. This was despite Tony wanting to let the matter slide for the sake of the guilty criminals who'd been put away in part due to Abby's testimony, and for the victims' families who'd received justice. And she got the whole damned 'greater good philosophy' – she really did, but both Sirius and Harry had already been asked to bear a burden too onerous. One that neither should have been expected to assume, all for the bloody greater good. Just this once, Hermione wanted some simple recompense for Sirius… just this once.

She wanted Abby to pay, pay with more than only her job because ultimately, she could get a new job working in the private sector and earn good money. She could probably end up making a darn sight more than she did at NCIS. The Goth could start over and build a life that was fulfilling and easy, a good life. It felt like she wasn't really paying for her actions.

No, Hermione wanted her to have to deliver a pound of flesh since they wouldn't have the satisfaction of seeing Sciuto doing time. But what the witch had in store for the Goth, she could only impose on her in good conscience when she was positive Abby was faking. Anything less than absolute certainty and Hermione knew she wouldn't be able to carry out her plan, even if she had the slightest doubt.

So in order to make that happen they'd all been gathered in her hotel suite for a brainstorming session on the situation. Tony had jokingly observed, "Well short of you going undercover and getting her to admit that she is faking it, I can't see how you can be one hundred percent certain, Hermione. There's always going to be an element of doubt, even if it's miniscule."

Fornell didn't see what the problem was. "If the forensic psychiatrist is willing to state that she's faking the psychotic break, then surely that's good enough for us to sign off on her being offered the deal to resign. If I'm resigned to it, and I hate the idea of letting that brat get away with attacking a federal agent, particularly Tony by the way, then I don't see why you can't have confidence in it too, Hermione."

She smiled sweetly at the fibbie and the others in the room groaned – they knew that look only too well. They recognised that she had a plan up her sleeve. "Because, Toby, if Abby gets to walk away with just resigning and not being able to work in law enforcement again, then I want her to suffer more than that for her actions. I don't think that it a fair consequence when she should be sitting in jail."

Then she outlined her plan to make Abby pay – only if she was faking – and was greeted by absolute silence as they tried to get their head around her proposal. With the exception of Harry, who as her best friend, knew her fiercely protective nature and took her scheme in stride – everyone else looked at her with a mixture of consternation and awe. Smiling at her, Harry asked the critical question that she'd been tormenting herself with.

"So Madame Minister, exactly how do you propose to satisfy yourself categorically that Sciuto is a faker so you can implement this dastardly deal?"

And that was the stumbling block to her carrying out her plan, which was why she had been studying Abby like a predator watching their prey. She'd been observing her behaviour, her responses to stimuli, looking for tells, searching for fault lines or any intel. so that she could crack her like a nut and get at the truth. Hermione found herself falling back into girlish habits - taking copious notes, approaching the problem from multiple angles, writing the data on filing cards and then reorganising the intel she'd collected into different combinations. She distilled it, colour coded it using sticky tabs, rewrote it, converted it to bullet points and studied it until she had driven the entire team to distraction.

Dean, Dennis and Harry of all of them seemed the least fazed by her obsessiveness, having witnessed it at Hogwarts since they shared the Gryffindor common room with the witch for many years. Plus, Harry and Dean had shared many of her classes for six years.

Yet for all the effort she put into finding a way to break Sciuto, it was ironic that the moment she had stopped focusing on the Goth and starting thinking about Delores that the solution hit her like a runaway train. She needed to remember this the next time she got obsessed about solving a problem that was eluding her. Actually she already knew this truism – she just had to remind herself that focusing too hard on a problem was not the way to solve it.

Hermione decided to invite Delores to dinner one night before she flew home to London, after all, it was thinking about the squib and the differences between the two adoptees that had given her the fresh perspective she needed. It was ironic that the solution had been staring her in the face since Tony's facetious comment about going undercover to talk to Sciuto.

She remembered back in the day when Hermione Granger was just a lonely little girl with no idea that she was a witch, let alone that she would be dubbed the smartest witch of her age. She was the only daughter of two dentists, a so-called gifted child, a desperately unhappy child who had no friends her own age. In fact, her only real friends were her parents; she was convinced that she would never fit in anywhere and so Hermione chose to lose herself in books. She had started reading when she was three and by the age of ten had read every book in her bookshelf more than once.

She'd inevitably started making her way through books in her parent's bookshelves. Her mother's love of classic literature meant that her shelves were chock full of authors such as Charles Dickens, the Bronte Sisters, Shakespeare and her father's favourite authors included George Orwell, Ayn Rand, Mark Twain, and more popular novelists such as Tom Clancy, and Michael Creighton. But the young Hermione also thirsted for knowledge too, not just content to reside in fantasy worlds.

She remembered her mother's reaction to her reading her medical text books, chemistry and science books had been surprised yet proud. Her reaction when she found her daughter had read her Joy of Sex, the Kamasutra and a book on tantric sex from cover to cover had been far less enthusiastic. Hermione had been warned off reading the rest of her mother's books on sex until she was much older.

Undaunted, she'd found a book on sign language which her mother had purchased when she started treating her first deaf patient. Her mum ended up with a significant percentage of her clientele who were hearing impaired since they appreciated being treated by a dentist who was able to communicate with them fluently. For her part, her mother enjoyed working with her hearing impaired patients too because she could carry on conversations with them while she was working in their mouth.

Meanwhile, ten-year-old Hermione was captivated by the thought of being able to speak with her hands and devoured the book with great enthusiasm. She started having simple conversations with her mother and she recalled her father pouting because he felt excluded. Over the next couple of years until she started at Hogwarts and got caught up with the excitement of being a witch and learning about magic, her mother and Hermione continued to have unspoken conversations and she'd become reasonably fluent.

Of course, not having used sign in over twenty years, Hermione knew she would be rusty. Just like if you learnt a second language at age ten and then never used it for twenty years would mean that you were no longer fluent anymore. Although for someone as smart as she was, as determined and highly motivated as she was, Hermione knew that she could get back up to speed relatively faster than most individuals. The problem was that the sign language she learnt all those years ago had been British Sign Language (BSL) and Sciuto had learnt American Sign Language (ASL) from her parents. Spoken English being her second language since both her adoptive parents had been profoundly deaf.

Although there was some overlap between BSL and ASL, there were also significant differences as she discovered when she Goggled it on her smart phone. Which was why they'd left Walter Reed post haste to find a bookstore so Hermione could purchase a book on ASL and she'd been working her way through it feverishly ever since. Not to mention hitting Y-Tube which had lots of how-to video's as well. In order to learn the American form of sign as fast as possible, she immersed herself in it, forcing herself to sign everything unless it was absolutely necessary to speak.

Surprisingly, Tony proved helpful in conversing with her. While he wasn't totally fluent in ASL he knew the basics. Curious about how he'd come to learn it he'd laughed and confessed that Anthony DiNozzo had learned some very basic conversational sign when he was serving in the Police Department in Peoria. As a young cop he'd spoked Spanish and Italian which had, on occasion proved to be an advantage but early on after he graduated from the Police Academy he's been a first responder at a serious vehicle crash. It had involved a young teen who'd been hysterical and no one had been able to communicate with her or calm her down because she was deaf and no one could sign.

It had a profound and lasting impact on the rookie cop which was why he'd taken a basic class a few months later in basic ASL – it was just an abbreviated class for emergency workers: cops, ER personnel, paramedics, firefighters and social workers. The class was designed to let them converse on a very basic level with hearing impaired people in emergency situations. Its aim was for them to be able to offer reassurance and to be able to gather crucial information until someone who was fluent in ASL could be summons to act as translator.

"Okay, so you have DiNozzo's memories." Hermione smiled, impressed with the cop's commitment to people but then he'd obviously cared about people since as a college student Anthony had run into a burning building and saved a little boy. Sirius confessed that he still had nightmares as a result of that particular memory about only saving the boy and not his sister. As if Sirius didn't have enough horrific memories of his own without being burdened by Anthony DiNozzo's nightmares too.

"You've expanded your knowledge though?" she observed.

"Yeah, when I started at NCIS, Gibbs and Abby used to sign when they wanted to talk in front of me and exclude me from the conversation. Sometimes it was so they could talk about me or just talk about stuff they didn't want me to know. So I started learning more phrases cuz I'm nosy and hate being excluded. I'm still not fluent but I understand a lot more than I can speak," he confessed.

She scowled. "Well that's just petty and juvenile, not to mention shockingly rude. How would they have liked it if you and that Ziva David had spoken Spanish or Italian in front of them because you wanted to have a private conversation or you wanted to talk about them?"

"If I done that Gibbs would probably have torn me a new one, and head slapped me silly. Abby would punch my bicep," he admitted chuckling.

"And Ziva too?"

"Nu uh. Gibbs rarely bawled her out and only head slapped her once or twice."

Hermione didn't see anything funny about being physically and verbally abused but trying to convince her companion of that was difficult, since like may abuse victims, he didn't see himself that way. Even when admitting that Gibbs treated them differently – clearly he was a chauvinist. Hermione hoped that maybe once Tony had put some time and distance between himself and Gibbs, he'd be able to see their relationship as outsiders did, as highly toxic and abusive. Meanwhile she bit her tongue.

Instead she changed the subject. "So tell me about Abby's eccentric beliefs."

He frowned in concentration as the switch in topics from sign language. "Like her believing in vampires or Tarot cards?" He asked. "Or her crystals, auras, or crop circles?"

"Crop circles? As in aliens, abductions and brain probes?" She asked incredulous.

"Well I don't know about the brain probes but we worked on a case years ago where the yokels had made crop circles to divert authorities from the fact that a murder had been committed. And Abby was convinced they weren't man made and insisted on exhaustive samples being collected so she could prove her theories. She blackmailed McGee into collecting forensic evidence from the circles by promising to show him her new tattoo. So naturally he complied."

Hermione looked highly affronted. "That's highly unprofessional. I hope they were both disciplined for it."

He shook his head, amused. "If it had been me that had fallen for Abby's shit, no doubt Gibbs would have killed me but he has always been a sucker when it came to Abby. He kinda turned a blind eye to the whole incident."

"So what was her reaction when the crop circle was shown to be fake?" Hermione inquired curiously, although she still felt irate about the double standards of Gibbs. She also couldn't help but be reminded of the similarities between him and Severus Snape either. When Draco had behaved abominably towards them, he'd chosen not to notice but when they retaliated against his abuse he would immediately impose harsh sanctions.

"She was pissed. Insisted that crop circles are the real deal and that there were still unexplained aspects of the crop circle phenomenon at Smoky Corners – anomalies which didn't add up." Tony admitted, shooting an interrogative look at the witch beside him. "What's with the twenty questions and the sudden interest in aliens, Hermione?

"You know that lots of those so-called encounters with aliens, are a convenient way of explaining magic that non-magicals have encountered. Well obviously not the brain probes, I would hope." He made a moue of distaste.

Hermione giggled and Tony grinned wondered if other ministers of magic had ever giggled girlishly. Probably not but somehow it didn't seem improper when she did it. "It's your fault – you told me to I should go undercover to prove unequivocally that she was faking it."

"Yeah but I thought you were going to talk to her in ASL since she is being so guarded in English and you don't speak Cajun."

"Yeah but I also need a hook to get her to trust me. Crop circles and aliens are that hook, that and a huge case of paranoia"

"Whose paranoia – hers or yours?"

Hermione chuckled, "Both!"

Tony stared at her. "Next thing you'll be wanting to wear a shiny metal hat to convince her that you think that the aliens are trying to scan your thoughts."

Leaning over and giving him an avuncular kiss on the cheek, she grinned jubilantly. "Great suggestion! I'd never have thought of that myself. Now I can see why you have a reputation as a master of undercover work. You wouldn't have a metal colander at home that I can borrow by any chance, would you?"

~o0o~

In the end Tony persuaded her against wearing a metal colander on her head, arguing that she would never have gotten it past the staff when she was admitted if she was a real patient. She scoffed at the suggestion but Tony explained that it could be used to smack someone in the face or the head. So if she wore it, Abby would be instantly suspicious that Hermione was a plant.

Fornell quipped that Tony just didn't want to sacrifice his colander since it was an integral part of his pasta making. Tony smirked and threatened to stop inviting him around for pasta and Fornell had instantly quelled his sarcastic comments. Ever since dragging him home for Thanksgiving dinner, Tobias had learnt that the NCIS agent was quite adept at making pasta, among other Italian dishes – courtesy of Anthony DiNozzo's memories of a lonely childhood mostly spent hanging out with the family's kitchen staff.

Smirking at Tobias' hasty backdown, since he was going to cook for Hermione and her ministerial entourage before they flew home early next week, Tony suggested she use aluminum foil instead. As he pointed out, it was far more plausible that she could have smuggled some in to fashion her hat if she was adamant that she needed it. Either that or that TPTB were more likely to view it as fairly harmless and allow her to have it.

Giggling to hear Sirius pronounce aluminium as aluminum, as an American would, he shrugged when she twitted him about it. "I've been an American for 17 years, Hermione."

Looking at him stretched out relaxed on the sofa in her suite, she wondered, and not for the first time, exactly how much of Anthony DiNozzo remained in addition to all his memories. Sirius was different in many respects to the wizard she'd know so many years ago. He was less volatile and angry – was that because Anthony had a more happy-go-lucky disposition – or was he simply more adept at hiding his emotions?

In the end, they'd agreed to ditch the colander, much to Hermione's annoyance and go with tin foil; also agreed to ditching the aluminium v aluminium debate and just call it tin foil even if it was a misnomer. So she'd donned a pair of sky blue scrubs, and gone undercover with a plethora of hints and strict instructions from Tony ringing in her ears about how to act while she was posing as a patient.

He wasn't happy when Tobias and Hermione had refused to let the whole assault thing with Abby drop. Still that didn't mean that he'd let her go in without all the benefit of his years of undercover experience to ensure she stayed safe. Even after she reminded him that Dean was going to be with her constantly keeping watch, he still made her repeat his instruction verbatim to make sure she understood them.

So now, here she sat, wearing her tinfoil hat so the aliens didn't read her thoughts, signing to herself in ASL about the alien conspiracy with the doctors to read her mind and drug her so she couldn't talk. Ignoring everyone's attempts to engage her in conversation, Hermione clutched a sketchbook and a piece of artist's charcoal, sketching feverishly and hiding the book when anyone approached her.

Hermione noticed that Abby was watching her closely but Tony had insisted that she should not engage the Goth – she should ignore her and force her mark to make the first move and then rebuff it. It took several hours but Abby was curious, not surprisingly, since she knew aliens and crop circles were something that Sciuto believed in and had purposely targeted her. The witch had deliberately let her catch a brief glance of her sketchbook that had a drawing of a complex crop circle and a drawing of a Roswellian Grey type alien before slamming it shut and scowling at Abby.

Continuing to follow Tony's instructions, when Abby approached her she snubbed the Goth, signing to her to go away - that she didn't trust her - before stalking off and retreating into a corner. The next time that Abby approached, she accused her of trying to read her thoughts and steal her book before getting up and running away. Finally, after group therapy, where Hermione continued her paranoid act and refused to speak or even sit within the circle, after the other participants had dispersed, Abby came up and sat beside her.

When they were alone, Abby signed, 'Please let me help you.'

'No, you're one of them. The aliens told you to read my thoughts, didn't they?'

'No, I pinky swear - I'm not one of them. I want to be your friend.'

'I don't believe you. The doctors are lying – saying I'm crazy so no one will believe me if I tell anyone about the aliens plans to take over the world. They're leaving messages for their colleagues that can be seen from space but no one believes me.'

'Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god… the crop circles. I knew it.' Abby signed excitedly. 'Tell me what they say. Pretty, pretty please with a ginormous huge cherry on top.'

'No, you're here to spy on me. You'll tell the doctors and they'll say I'm crazy and drug me to make me forget. Or they'll let the aliens probe my brain again. Go away,' Hermione remembered Tony's advice not to cave too easily - to make her work for it. Getting up she left her mark looking bereft as she took to pacing the common room.

~o0o~

Abby was quivering with anticipation – it was like waving a plate of Belgium chocolate truffles in front of a chocoholic or a whole Caf-pow drink machine full of Caf-pows in front of a Goth forensic scientist addicted to caffeine. She was so close to getting the answers to the mysteries of the crop circles, Abby could literally taste it, despite everyone poo-pooing her faith.

Oh the Goth was sooooo looking forward to wiping the smug smirk off Timmy's face when she explained that crop circles were like ginormous billboards for the aliens already here on Earth to communicate with other extra- terrestrials in outer space. Mr MIT and Johns Hopkins was going to have to eat some serious humble pie.

She just had to get that chick with the aluminum headgear to talk to her since she'd obviously had an encounter of the third kind with extra-terrestrials. And how cool was that? She wished that she could have an encounter like that too – perhaps not a brain probe but maybe a sexual encounter might be… educational.

But she had to get the chick to talk and she was like really, really flighty – like a stray dog who'd been abused by a big ol mean owner… but honestly, who could blame her for being paranoid after being brain probed. That can't have been too nice… unless they'd stimulated her pleasure centres, which might have been pretty cool. How unfair though that the doctors immediately assumed she was cra-cra when she told then about her abduction. How closed minded was that?

As she pondered how to get that poor young woman to spill her guts, she also couldn't help dwelling on troublesome thoughts that she was trying hard not to dwell on for the last four days, especially since that last psychiatrist had been brought in to see her. He had a cynical aura and she got the feeling he was suspicious of her – what with all the questions he kept asking her.

So she was worried and where was her Silver Fox? Why hadn't he come to see her and why hadn't he fixed everything so she could get out of this place? After all, everyone knew she was Gibbs' favourite Gibblette and they all knew that he'd do anything for her. And that was why no one crossed Abby Sciuto - unless they had a death wish.

Leroy Jethro Gibbs could be one scary dude, He'd spent his whole career at NCIS sticking it to the man – getting away with doing whatever the hell he wanted, when he wanted. There was no way he would be pleased about her being treated like some common criminal. All because she'd been standing up for him and looking after their family when she tried to make Tony see reason. That's not how family treats family and they sure as hell don't air their dirty linen in public like Tony did either – she just wished she'd managed to get a few more whacks in before the Stormtroopers grabbed her. Such a crock!

Trying to put her doubts about Gibbs and what they might have done to him to stop him coming to save her from this place because it was only supposed to buy her some time for the Silver Fox to work his magic, she noted Aluminum-Hat Girl. She'd stopped her pacing and was once again sitting down again, sketching on the pad she refused to let go of. Deciding to have another go at convincing her to share what she knew, Abby approached her target, careful not to spook her and she briefly sighted a design of a crop circle and a rendering of a real cool looking alien.

Aluminum-Hat Girl looked up at her approach and signed. 'Go away, Spy.'

Abby sat her butt down near her, but not too near. 'Not a spy. I just want to be your friend,' she signed back. 'I believe you, Aluminum-Hat Girl.'

Aluminum-Hat Girl stared at her. 'Why? Prove you're not a spy. And if you're not spying on me then, tell me why should I trust? You're crazy!'

Abby shook her head vehemently, her black dyed hair fanning out with the momentum, although she missed having pigtails whipping through the air. They wouldn't permit her to have elastics to fasten her hair because they were deemed to be dangerous, as were hairpins. How ridiculous – Ziva wasn't here.

She felt oddly bereft without her pigtails – was she even really Abby Sciuto without them? They also took away her platform boots and her favourite spiky collar. Like she was some sort of criminal. What was really criminal is how they'd forced her to dress like everyone else, mindless drones.

'I'm not crazy, I'm just pretending to be. I'm here because the FBI want to send me to jail.'

Aluminum-Hat Girl recoiled, signing swiftly. 'Why, what did you do?'

'Nothing. I didn't do anything wrong'

Aluminum-Hat Girl frowned sceptically. 'The FBI don't put people in prison for no reason.'

Abby huffed. 'It was just a misunderstanding. A quarrel between family members – I was trying to make someone see sense before he wrecked everything. He acted like a spoilt brat and had me arrested. But Gibbs will fix everything…he always does.'

Aluminum-Hat Girl looked curious. 'Is Gibbs your lawyer?' she signed.

Abby giggled, 'OMG no. He hates lawyers. H.A.T.E.S. lawyers,' she finger spelled each letter of the word for added emphasis. 'Gibbs is my super sexy Silver Fox.'

Aluminum-Hat Girl signed, 'So he's your boyfriend?'

'No silly, he's like our Poppa bear and we're his baby gibblettes. He takes care of us all. Ducky…he's like our grampa and sage old uncle, all round into one and Jimmy's like the cousin who is always putting his foot in his mouth and Timmy…he's like the super geeky smart kid brother who's always reminding you how smart he is because he can hack and Bish is the little sis…she's super smart too and makes Timmy a bit green with envy as she can whoop his ass um I mean brain.

'And there's me…I'm Gibbsie's favourite gibblette and I have mad forensic skills. Tony's the big brother who's super jealous of his younger smarter siblings because he's not Gibbs favourite and he's been acting like a tots brat lately and making my Silver Fox cranky. So of course Gibbs has to knock some sense in him.'

Aluminum-Hat Girl frowned as she stared at Abby. "If Gibbs isn't a lawyer, how is he going to get you out of here and stop the FBI from arresting you?'

The Goth rolled her eyes exaggeratedly, giggling before signing. 'Gibbs is kickass. He's a tots badass Marine. He gets what he wants and doesn't follow rules. He sticks it to the man. He can get away with murder.'

She observed Aluminum-Hat Girl's sceptical expression. 'No really, he really truly did get away with murder…see a dirtbag killed his family so he went all Old Testament on the perp and got away with it, so he can get me out of a piddling assault charge. It was a trumped up charge.'

Abby suddenly realised she'd let her hands run away with her, spilling the beans about Gibbs and Hernadez to a perfect stranger but hey, she was a survivor of an alien abduction. Who would she tell and even if she did, no one would believe her anyway. Still she'd best deflect the subject away from her surrogate father to be on the safe side.

'See it's all Tony's fault for being a brat. He's always been pathologically jealous of Gibbs giving anyone else the smallest amount of attention. He's been acting up even more lately since he got a taste of leading the team. Got too big for his boots and didn't like it when Gibbs came back and took the team back again and told him he wasn't all that special.'

~o0o~

Hermione had managed to get through the conversation with Abby – even the shockingly casual way that she revealed that Gibbs was a murderer. Thank Merlin that Sirius had never trusted his identity to her, back in the day when she proclaimed to be a staunch friend of his. Luckily the wizard had been taught by circumstance that people who should be trustworthy, like friends or family will betray you. Add to that Anthony DiNozzo's memories of living with two alcoholic parents and it was pretty obvious why that he was never tempted to share who he was with anyone. It might be an incredibly lonely way to survive but at least he was safe.

Hermione recognised what she was doing – she was avoiding thinking about what Abby just casually revealed. Gibbs was a cold-blooded murderer who spent his life locking up other murderers for doing what he'd gotten away with. And how messed up was that? Clearly he and Abby couldn't see how totally amoral…immoral and totally hypocritical it was for him to be a federal agent. Which was flat out terrifying.

Hermione had already resolved not to get into a slanging match with Abby – after her dismal failure with Mallard to make him use his intellectual powers instead of his emotions. After all, if anyone could be persuaded, it should have been him, so she recognised it was a waste of breath even trying with the rest of the bunch. Having learnt that Gibbs got away with murder and Abby thought there was something admirable about it; well that was even more proof that she'd have better luck banging her head up against a wall than be able to reason with an emotionally immature Goth. Actually that might be a lot more enjoyable activity.

However, Hermione found it almost impossible to remain silent, feeling like Abby had made her complicit in the killing and she tried to console herself that her contingency plan for him was in the wings, waiting to be implemented. But when Abby started in on Tony, blaming him for her ending up being locked up, it was all she could do not to hex the woman pretending to be a little girl. She sort of had a reverse Lolita Syndrome going on – a middle aged woman dressing and and more importantly, acting like a pubescent girl.

No, the so-called smartest witch of her age had to remind herself to focus on the fact that she had one goal in coming here and wearing an aluminium skullcap. Even if it was going to give her a serious case of hat-hair, which wouldn't have been a problem if they'd just let her wear the stupid colander. But still… all things considered, hat-hair a small price to pay to get what she was looking for.

So as half of her brain registered the childish blame game as Abby recounted how Tony had caused all her woes, Hermione was thinking about the positive outcome of her foray into undercover work as a non-magical. That now she was absolutely sure that Abby hadn't had a psychotic break she could implement her plan with a clear conscience.

Interrupting the 'Tony bullying her poor innocent Gibbs because he's a spoilt brat and that's why I attacked him' diatribe, because if she had to listen to her a moment longer she might hex that smug, entitled little bitch and she couldn't do that. Not because of it would blow the statue of magical secrecy or because it would be wrong for a witch to use magic against a helpless muggle since it would be an unfair disadvantage, let alone the fact that she was the Minister of Magic. The simple truth was that it would be wrong because that would make her no better than Abigail Sciuto and as an intelligent woman, she was damned if she was going to stoop to the Goth's level of childish behaviour.

She grabbed both the Goth's hands forcibly to quell the flow of her vile invective. When she stopped signing long enough for Hermione to sign she declared, albeit tongue in cheek. 'Stop! Fine! I'm convinced! You're not spying on me for the aliens, you're not a spy working for the doctors. You're not crazy – you're just a poor blameless victim who did nothing wrong. So let's find somewhere a bit more private so I can share my thoughts with you.'

Abby looked thrilled and she bounced up and down in her seat. 'OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG - that's awesome. Timmy is so going to have to eat his shorts…not that he will because he's like Gibbsie in that he never admits he's wrong, not that Gibbsie could ever be wrong but Timmy's no Gibbs, so of course he can be wrong…just like he is wrong about crop circles and I can't wait to see…'

Hermione grabbed her hands again. 'Stop it. You're doing my head in.' It was true, since she wasn't au fait with ASL she'd been studying in every spare moment she had and had little sleep the night before. Plus, having to process the language visually rather than aurally was surprisingly tiring. In fact, Abby with her visual diarrhoea had managed to give her a splitting headache.

'Come with me.' She led her to a spot that was fairly private in the common room. 'After the alien abduction I found that I could pass on my thoughts to people if they just focus on my eyes.'

Proving that Abby was as suggestible as she thought, indeed as she hoped, the Goth sported a huge smile. 'Cool!'

~o0o~

Staring at Fornell and Dean's eager expressions she deliberately looked around the cafeteria, then took another forkful of chocolate cream pie goodness. It was true, she had no regrets about her actions. Abby needed a wake-up call. If she really truly wanted to be vindictive, she could use what she'd learnt to have the Goth charged as an accessory to murder.

Besides, post hypnotic suggestions couldn't compel anyone to do anything that was absolutely against their morals – she hadn't brainwashed her. Although as easy as it was to hypnotise her, Abby Sciuto would be a prime candidate for brainwashing and with her OTT eccentricities, it would be hard to pick up on incongruities in her normal behaviour.

Fornell frowned. "So for the sake of a dense fibbie, can you please explain it me again in plain English exactly what you did."

"I hypnotised her and planted a couple of post hypnotic suggestions. In the first one I may have implied that Gibbs hasn't been to see her because he thinks she lacks empathy – is too self-centred." Seeing the surprised expressions on both her companions features, she shrugged.

"She was going on and on about how Gibbs should have been here by now to break her out of the psych ward and 'fix' everything. She's ridiculously invested in him emotionally so I decided to seize the opportunity, use her attachment to him to increase the chances this would work.

"Since she's used him to protect her from having to face the consequences of her actions, it seemed like there was a certain symmetry. After all, with an IQ that puts her in the 99.8th percentile she should be able to figure out that he isn't all powerful."

"Wow Hermione, that just so incredibly Slytherin of you." Dean declared looking torn between horrified and appreciative.

She smiled. That statement didn't upset her like it would have several decades ago. She shrugged. "Thanks, Dean."

"Oh bugger, that was really insubordinate of me. I'm sorry Minister Weasley."

Hermione grinned. "No its true, Dean. It was pretty Slytherin of me so there's no need to apologise. Besides, this little side plan is technically not Ministry of Magic business."

Dean still looked horrified at what he'd uttered without thinking. She sighed before trying to explain why he shouldn't feel bad about what he'd said.

Truly, I'm not offended. When I was studying the Myers Briggs Personality Inventory in university, I realised that I have quite a few Slytherin traits and also Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff ones too. We all do. It is almost impossible to just have Gryffindor or any of the other trait exclusively, either and actually be a well-adjusted individual…we need a bit of them all. It's all a question of how the various trait combine and in what proportion that makes for individuality," she explained earnestly.

Dean frown, brooding on what she'd said, no doubt wondering if he had traces of the other house traits too.

Meanwhile Fornell was growing impatient. "And the second post-hypnotic suggestion you planted?" he queried.

"That when she goes to sleep at night she relives the mean, unkind things she's said and done to people at NCIS but not experiencing it from her perspective. She feels it from the other person's point of view, not hers." She explained trying not to look too smug."

Bemused Tobias asked, "But is Sciuto capable of doing that? She's emotionally immature and thinks she is always right."

Hermione nodded. "Most of the time that's true, but she does volunteer for Habitat for Humanity and works with her nuns. Plus, Tony says that when it's people or animals who she identifies with, she's extremely empathetic – obsessively so. So she is capable of seeing things from alternate points of view when she's motivated to do so."

Dean chuckled, "So you're hoping that telling her Gibbs thinks she lacks empathy for others will be enough to motivate her to look at her actions from the victim's perspective."

"Yeah, that's the plan." She agreed, looking pleased with herself.

Fornell scrutinised the Minister of Magic closely, deciding she was holding something back. "Spit it out, you did something else, didn't you?"

Grinning, she acknowledged the allegation. "Well I may have created an association between Tony and him being a homeless ex-soldier living in a cave, eating rats to survive. Plus, I created another association between Tony and an abused dog who escaped after being locked up and then hunted down like a criminal." She explained.

"Why?" Dean wanted to know. He was frowning

"Because talking to people, I discovered that those are triggers for Abby to become obsessively empathetic about the person or animal. So I did the opposite of a hypnotherapist who treats someone for say an addiction to nicotine – they pair negative associations with smoking to make the person avoid cigarettes." Which was true enough, but as Fornell knew as he exchanged a knowing look at Hermione, the associations were also all true too, although Dean had no way of knowing it.

Dean looked impressed. "So how long are you planning on her dreaming these… uh 'alternate-point-of-view-empathy' dreams?"

Folding her arms and looking severe when she remembered what Abby had revealed to her, she replied, "Until she gets the message. They'll stop when she actually says to herself or to someone else, 'Abby, you've been a spoilt brat and you really don't know what best for everyone else, so mind your own damned business,' and genuinely believes it.

"Then the post hypnotic suggestions will lose their power," she revealed and took a large spoonful of pecan pie, savouring the sweet and nutty flavours.

End Notes:

Aluminum is pronounced al - oo- min - um

Aluminium is pronounced al - you - min - ee- um