The Bloatfish Incident

James was in the library, not out of choice. He was looking for the oldest copy of 'Hogwarts: A History' he could get hold of, one that wasn't on the library lists; Madame Pince probably didn't even know it was there.

The Marauders hadn't just stumbled across five of the purported eight secret passageways out of Hogwarts by accident; they had done some very serious research. You just had to know exactly where to look, exactly what to say and exactly when to say it. All of which was knowledge gleaned from ancient books, stories and hearsay.

For example; how many people knew there were actually two entrances to the Slytherin dungeons? The Marauders had used the second entrance a couple of times; firstly to drop a niffler inside during the night, back in Fifth Year, and the second time they had removed every item of furniture in the Common Room.

Of course, teachers had questioned the wall that guarded the first entrance, but no one had thought to ask the portrait of Sargona the Sadistic if anyone had used the second, long-forgotten entrance. Not that she would have told them anything anyway; firstly she hadn't seen anything and secondly she thought the Slytherins were far too 'kind' these days anyway. The Marauders had got clean away; it paid to do your homework after all.

James was looking for a book, in the library, in the Restricted Section; because it supposedly mentioned what exactly what wards were guarding the castle. Sirius had found it referenced in, 'Gryffindor: Guardian of the Ages', and James had been sent out to recover it.

When they could, they made their trips to the library during the day, under James' invisibility cloak; their reputation would take a terrible toll if they were seen in the library for anything other than the most dire of reasons. Also, the number of students distracting Madam Pince was far greater than in the middle of the night.

James was heading for the very back of the library, and praying that they were right; hours of reading had gone into this little expedition and he didn't want it to be a failure. He reached the end of the aisle and turned right, finding a battered reading lectern and a cupboard by the wall. He ignored both and walked on past, suddenly he turned around and shouted, 'BOO!' at the top of his voice.

Two things happened at the same time; the library went even quieter than usual, even the rustling of parchment and pages stopped, the cupboard also burst open in surprise. James stifled a laugh and grabbed the three books that were sitting on the single shelf of the cupboard, then he whipped his cloak back over his head and began to walk softly, and silently, away.

Madam Pince appeared seconds later, staring about her with suspended, ferocious anger. James tried not to laugh as he ducked around the corner.

Finally, after glaring suspiciously in all directions, he heard her mutter, 'Peeves…' and walk away. James headed for the exit. At first The Marauders had been surprised by Hogwarts' numerous oddities; doors you had to ask nicely to open, stairs that went somewhere different on a Tuesday. After five years though, a cupboard that had to be scared open, was hardly a strange thing; but it was well placed in the library, where noise was definitely not tolerated.

James was halfway back to Gryffindor Tower when he heard the first scream.

Lily had decided that she needed to talk to Severus; he had been ignoring her recently and had been hanging out with Mulciber, Avery and Wilkes even more than usual. After recent events neither of which were particularly good things.

She had decided the best time would be between the end of their lessons and supper; they both had a free lesson last thing on Thursday, when he probably wouldn't be doing anything. So she was heading down to the library, where he might be doing their Defence essay; two feet on Shield charms, their modern uses and adaptations.

She made it to the fourth floor before she heard a bang and very suddenly cut off yell, then several high-pitched screams. Lily began to run.

She arrived on the third floor, robes fluttering from her shoulders to find something massive blocking the entire corridor and James Potter laughing his head off. He turned round as she approached and raised his hands in surrender, 'It wasn't me!' he tried to say seriously, with a huge grin on his face.

Lily just gaped at the… the… the thing blocking the corridor, 'Potter? What is that?'

James tried to look serious again and failed, 'It's a Japanese Bloatfish.'

'A what?' she had never heard of such a thing, but there was something huge, brownish and slimy looking filling the corridor. There appeared to a floating bubble of water about halfway up it.

'A Japanese Bloatfish.' James repeated.

'Get rid of it.' Lily snapped; she had obviously been wrong about the Marauders changing, this was exactly the kind of thing they though was funny.

An odd noise came from the strange mass before James could answer though.

'What was that?' Lily asked hesitantly, taking a step back in case something happened.

'Wormtail? You're going to have to explain…' James said, stepping aside to reveal Peter Pettigrew.

The noise came again.

'Err… Hi, Lily.' Peter mumbled.

Lily glared at him.

'I… err… Mulciber…'

James took over the telling of the story, 'It's like this Lily; we brought this cute little fellow-' he started, gesturing at the mass filling the corridor.

'Cute?' Lily asked sceptically, 'Little?'

'Not at the moment, but most of the time. Anyway, we brought him back to school with us; Sirius thought there ought to be one in the Lake. We've been keeping it in a jar in our dorm-'

'A jar?' Lily asked incredulously.

'Yup, a jar. Anyway, it was beginning to look ill, so Wormtail here thought he'd take it down and put it in the Lake like we wanted. So he came down, but then Mulciber tried to curse him, and… and… Peter panicked-' he broke off as fresh gales of laughter overwhelmed him and had to lean against the wall for support.

Lily waited, patiently, looking suspiciously from Peter to James. Eventually Peter said sheepishly, 'I… I threw it at him.'

'You threw a fish at Mulciber?' She asked, bewildered, looking from the boy who was shorter than she was to the thing blocking the corridor. That odd noise came again.

'Um… yeah.' Peter mumbled.

James had recovered, 'Um, Lily?'

'Yes?' she said, turning back to him.

'Have you ever heard of a Pufferfish?'

'The little fish that puff up when they get scared?'

'Yeah, well, Bloatfish are a bit like them… they, well…' he seemed a bit hesitant, 'bloat when they get scared; only they get a lot bigger than pufferfish when they do.'

Something clicked in Lily's head, 'Where's Mulciber?' she asked suspiciously.

James grinned, 'When Peter threw the fish, it got scared and bloated and kind of… well, Mulciber's the one making the noise…'

Lily suddenly noticed the foot sticking out from between the Bloatfish and the wall.

'James! Get rid of that fish, I think he's suffocating!' she almost screamed at him.

'Um, Lily, I can't; Bloatfish repel magic. They're worse than Dragons in that respect; I think they're up there with Chimaera actually.' James said, scratching his head.

'What?' Lily asked in consternation.

'Potter! What is that!' Professor McGonagall had arrived.

An hour later and much explaining, Peter had been given two detentions; one for cruelty to animals and the second for using that cruelty to block school corridors. Unfortunately, Mulciber was going to have to stay where he was until the poor fish calmed down and deflated. Every attempt to shrink the fish had failed and Muciber had been forced to use a bubble-head charm to breathe.

Several people were able to attest to James' innocence, and he got off.

James had put a reverse bubble charm around the fish's head and gills so it could breathe. Professor Kettleburn appeared on his crutches at some point and congratulated James on being able to get hold of one; apparently he had been looking for one for years. James kindly offered it into Professor Kettleburn's care once it had deflated and got twenty points for Gryffindor for doing so.

Lily wasn't sure what to think; James had obviously not known about what was going to happen beforehand, but Lily couldn't help but assume that he had something to do with it. Only the Marauders would bring something like that into the castle.

'Hey, Lily!'

It was Caradoc Deardorn, one of the Ravenclaw Prefects, 'Oh, hi!'

'You going down to supper?'

Lily like Caradoc; he was one of the Prefects she preferred being on duty with. He was clever and had a wry sense of humour, he was also very helpful to the younger years. Lily considered for a moment; it was far too late to find Severus now, 'Yeah, I've just had to deal with that thing on the third floor.'

'The bloatfish? I heard Pettigrew threw it at Mulciber?' he replied with a grin.

'Something like that,' Lily replied.

'Well, I'm sure he'll have time to mullet over in detention,' Caradoc replied, letting her lead the way down the stairs.

It took Lily a few seconds, and then she sighed and shook her head, 'That was appalling.'

'Yeah, well, it was a turtle disaster, for Mulciber, wasn't it.'

Lily couldn't help but giggle, it was just getting worse.

'I mean, he was the gill-ty one after all.'

'Oh, God, shush!'

He finally stopped and said seriously, 'I suppose he'll be there for a few hours, wonder how they'll deflate it?'

'No idea, James said something about them repelling magic…'

'Yeah, they're tougher than Dragons in that respect, but they're actually pretty cute otherwise.'

Lily turned to see if he was trying to be funny again and he caught her look.

'We have to know about them for Kettleburn's lessons, my Uncle Gilbert also works in Experimental Charms in the Ministry and apparently they've been using Bloatfish skin for some of their experiments,' he explained, 'I've seen pictures and they're funny little things when they're small.'

'Um… really?'

He grinned again at her expression, 'Yeah, they've got puppy eyes that are way too big for them.'

They reached the Entrance Hall and Lily was about to go in for supper when he stopped her, suddenly looking a little tense, 'Um, Lily?'

She stopped and turned to him, 'Yeah?'

'I was wondering if you wanted to go to the Hogsmeade trip with me? It doesn't have to be like a date or anything, but if you want to…'

Lily stood shocked for a moment, then two people's words ran through her mind:

"Did you see Black looking at that new Professor at the feast? I think he's got more chance with her than Lily has of getting a boyfriend!" Alice teased gently.

"Someone will come along when you're least expecting it, darling."

'I…' Lily fumbled for a decision, before she said decisively, 'Yes, I'd like that,' with a shy smile.

'Great!' Caradoc grinned broadly, showing white, even teeth, 'Well, I'll see you around then.'

'See you!' Lily called and went to find a place at the Gryffindor Table.

James sat down with a grin at the Gryffindor Table; Peter was still being lectured by McGonagall on cruelty to fish. He thought it would be hilarious if Mulciber got cramp while he stuck against the wall.

'Where have you been? Remus asked.

'Wormtail threw the Bloatfish at Mulciber.' James replied airily.

'He what?' Remus choked on a mouthful of cottage pie as Sirius sprayed juice across the table.

Peter joined them a little later, grinning at them despite McGonagall's punishment. It wasn't long afterwards that McGonagall herself found James and handed him a roll of parchment. Sirius looked up, still trying to control his laughter from when Peter had finally arrived and described his version of events.

James unrolled it and his eyes flew wide, then he whispered, 'Yes!'

Sirius leaned over and read, 'Gryffindor vs Slytherin, November 1st.'

'I've seen Compton's team this year; he's only gone and stuck bloody Regulus as Seeker,' Sirius complained, as though that would stop him hitting his bludgers as hard and fast as he possibly could. He had the vague idea that he might knock some sense into his younger brother.

If not, then next year, Reg might learn to avoid him like the plague.

In Sirius view, friends came first, then House, then family. Regulus Black was very much neither of the first two.

Remus looked up and grinned as he read the scroll, 'You're going to play extreme then?'

James gave him an evil grin, 'Oh, yes,' he nodded.

James had been working on two styles of play; standard and extreme. The Gryffindor team had whole heartedly agreed to both; that was why James had only accepted people who would give everything they had to the team.

Each year, the Slytherin-Gryffindor match left at least one person in the Hospital Wing. Last year Harry Donovan had ended up with a broken leg and spell damage after the Slytherin Beaters had drawn their wands instead of using their bats.

James was grinning like a cat though; Remus and he had worked on some increasingly good plans for ploughing through the Slytherin defence. They were still worrying about protecting Tommy though; the boy was liable to headbutt one of the bludgers on purpose just to show he could take it. Even James had finally given in and labelled him, 'Nutcase' Ransom.

'Right,' James said, rolling the scroll back up, 'Team meeting after supper is in order, I believe.'

Lily was mulling over Caradoc's sudden interest in her and considering him from her place at the Gryffindor table. He wasn't particularly tall; not like Remus, but he had a nice face and was relatively popular. He hung out with Benjy Fenwick and Finn Quigley a lot; he was a reserve for the Ravenclaw Quidditch Team and was in the Charms Club with her. She thought she'd see how Hogsmeade went and hoped it wasn't ridiculously awkward.

Maybe he'd even make it to Hogsmeade, in the past she had suspected James of sabotaging her dates but when she had summed up the courage to ask Remus, he had said he hadn't done anything. Lily believed him and put it down to her awful luck.

Suddenly Dorcas put down her knife and fork on her unfinished plate of cottage pie and got up to leave. James was walking down the table tapping certain people on their shoulders as he went. The Gryffindor Quidditch team abandoned their suppers without complaint and followed their Captain.

She couldn't understand him; one minute he was laughing and joking with the Marauders, the next he was the serious Quidditch Captain who commanded respect and obedience at the slightest word.

'Lily, you're staring,' Mary pointed out, sharing a grin with Laura.

Mary had been more surprised than anyone when Lily had got up and hugged James Potter when he returned. Yes, the girl had been crying after they were told he was dying in St Mungo's, but she expected the usual, blunt, distant Lily when he returned. Instead, something had changed; she had even heard Lily call him, "James".

She didn't know what Lily was thinking recently; Lily was one of those girls who kept herself to herself, but she was still Mary's best friend and Mary knew something was up. She had noticed James had been ignoring Lily lately, perhaps embarrassed by Lily's display when he got back, whole and healthy.

Was there something going on there? Lily had just been staring at him.

Lily frowned and said, 'He's changed,' ambiguously.

'S'true,' said Laura, 'He's got a bit boring recently.'

'He's not boring, just different.'

Laura turned and looked at her as though she had gone mad, 'Has someone slipped you a Love Potion?'

'What?' Lily asked, confused.

'What's with the whole, "oh, James!" thing.' She accused.

'What "whole, oh James!" thing?' Lily snapped back, narrowing her eyes.

Laura thought better of it, 'Oh, never mind,' she huffed, giving in and wondering whether to accept Harry Greene's invitation to go to Hogsmeade with him, he was in the year below after all.