A/N: Thanks for your feedback and condolences. FYI just in case anyone was wondering, trying to write anything coherent in a heatwave of 47 degrees Celsius (116.6 degrees F) with just a fan is not possible. Thoughts are with those who lost their homes during our catastrophic bush fires.
Serieux Part 2
The End Justifies the Means
Tony and his godson, Harry Potter, were seated on his ludicrously comfortable leather lounge after eating a quick dinner using up the marinara sauce Tony had in his freezer. Harry had been wanting to try out his new-fund pasta making skills again, anxious to prove that the last two successful attempts hadn't been flukes. Tony didn't mind – after a difficult day, he ready to relax and had even considered suggesting they get some Chinese takeout before Harry volunteered to make the pasta.
They'd been working on a tedious case of embezzlement at Norfolk and although fraud wasn't his favourite area to investigate, the MCRT did their fair share of working the less glamorous crimes when the office was shorthanded or the other teams were busy. It wasn't so much the case, which they'd closed out tonight that had bothered him. It was that McGee had been particularly vitriolic about Abby losing her job and being barred from getting another position in a government law enforcement agency.
He suspected that Gibbs had put a flea in his ear about Tony, or that Abby had been crying all over Tim and guilt tripping him into trying to get her job back. Although Abby and Gibbs for that matter had to know that wasn't going to happen. After she signed that agreement there was no going back and even if he had it in his power to get her job back again – which he didn't – he wasn't sure that he would even want to at this point.
No, it wasn't about petty revenge for perceived wrongs done to him or even childish pique that she'd once upon a time proclaimed herself his 'best friend.' It was about his newly achieved awareness right at the end of his tenure as a NCIS agent that Abby Sciuto's professional comportment was well…less than professional. And no, it wasn't the Goth demeanour at work, the over attachment to her Silver Fox to the detriment of her job or her increasingly juvenile mien as she grew older. How screwed up was that, by the way?
It was that Abigail Sciuto was an emotional terrorist and a bully who routinely held the field-agents' hostage on their cases because…well he wasn't really sure why. Probably because she could, although it didn't explain why she'd want to.
Since her arrest by Fornell and Balboa he'd been astonished at the constant stream of agents who had come to him in private, wanting to offer commiserations and their support. They all wanted to assure him that Abby's situation wasn't his fault – that she had no one else to blame but herself.
They'd shared stories of her bullying and emotional vampirism – how she refused to work without receiving constant payment in addition to her monetary salary, which big surprise, consisted of fawning adulation about her "mad skills" and a never-ending stream of Caff-pows. Then there were the accounts of her overly familiar behaviour, including hugs when people didn't wish to be groped and her expressions of displeasure when people 'broke' her rules. The sequelae to which usually consisting of her putting their evidence processing to the bottom of the priority list or at the very least, delivering a forceful punch to a bicep, shoulder or torso.
Having been on the end of her enthusiastic thump to his torso on more occasions than he cared to recall when he sparked her ire, he questioned why no one had put in an official complaint of bullying against her. Mostly he received identical answers. 'Because Sciuto was Gibb's favourite…she was Gibb's surrogate daughter and she threatened that he would make anyone who hurt her feelings or her career regret it…because they were afraid that Gibbs would get them fired.'
Shaking his head in disgust at the crap people felt they had to put up with, he wondered much how it had affected agents and their ability to their jobs properly. Thinking back to the many stories of his years at Hogwarts that Harry had shared with him over the last two weeks he couldn't help but draw the parallel between Abby Sciuto and Harry's nemesis – Draco Malfoy. What with his bullying behaviour and his catch-cry, 'Wait until my father hears what you've done,' whenever anyone dared to stand up to the little shit (and Sirius' second cousin), the similarities were blindingly obvious.
The difference was though that Draco Malfoy had been an underage wizard who had a Death Eater for a father and inherited Black genes from his mother which really didn't give him a great example to follow. Abby although adopted, had been brought up in a loving family by decent folk who'd taught their daughter right from wrong – and she was a grown woman in her mid-forties. So, with all that in mind, even if he could help her get her job back again, there was no way that Tony would and Abby only had herself to blame for that.
Ruthlessly he pushed Abby's childishness and McGee's sniping resolutely aside, he squinted across at Harry sprawled across his lounge, pensive and taciturn after Tony's attempt to explain how he'd been persuaded to join Gibbs at NCIS 15 years ago. He'd tried, albeit clumsily, to portray how the former gunny had reminded him of James Potter back in the early days when he first encountered the NCIS agent. Not sure he'd done a great job, based on the silence from his godson, he realised that there was yet another parallel he hadn't shared with him yet.
Chuckling, despite everything, he glanced at Harry affectionately. "Hell Harry, even Jethro's love of red-headed, feisty women reminded me so much of 'lovesick James' with his seven-year Hogwarts obsession with your mother, Lily. Honestly though, when I first started here it had been all good.
"Oh, sure we had close calls and worked cases that were horrific but the comradeship had been amazing and our partnership was incredible – intuitive and natural. Although Gibbs had no way of knowing it, and I couldn't tell him I'd had my own fair share of military experience too (well, guerrilla warfare fighting against Voldemort and his cohorts) plus law enforcement training as an Auror. But I liked to imagine that on a visceral level, Gibbs the Marine recognised and respected a fellow warrior."
Harry snorted disparagingly, he might understand how Sirius had tolerated the crappy treatment but it didn't make Gibbs behaviour any more acceptable. Nor did it make Harry like or respect the bloody prat, either.
"So what happened? Because the arrogant wanker parading around in the bull pen… he's nothing like what you described!"
Tony looked disheartened, acknowledging the truth of Harry's observation.
"All I know is that after a case where terrorists had attempted to kill the US President on board his plane called Air Force One, things started changing. Other agents had come and gone and it hadn't interfered with our partnership. I'm not sure why but when Caitlyn Todd joined the team, everything changed."
"You investigated the President's attempted murder, Snuffles? Wow!" Harry interjected, impressed despite himself.
"Yeah. Ducky and I even got a photo of each of us sitting in the POTUS' chair at his desk, Cub." Tony responded, the name he used to call Harry as a kid slipping out accidently as he tried not to use the childhood nickname.
"POTUS?"
"The President of the United States, Harry."
The younger wizard nodded his understanding.
"Anyway…at first the changes to the team were slow, insidious." He revealed. "There'd be times when we questioned suspects or were working together in the field when the easy camaraderie between us – dare I say 'the magic' seemed as strong as ever. The banter – the 'Good Cop/Bad Cop or the Bad Ass Cop/Even Badder Assed Cop' roleplay when the need arose. Then at other times when the newbies were present or even by this point, even Abby Sciuto was there, Gibbs seemed to be deliberately going out of his way to be a hurtful jackass to me."
"In the good old days, we'd joke and tease each other, much like James, Remus and I use to do. Easy banter but never intended to draw blood and belittle."
He told Harry about the time when he'd been on the way to a crime scene with Vivian Blackadder and Gibbs and he'd told them a story from his time on the Baltimore PD homicide squad about a rookie who freaked out when a corpse started moaning. The rookie emptied all his bullets into the body.
"Gibbs chuckled and teased me that I was the rookie in the story but it felt like good-natured banter. Exactly the sort of teasing the Marauders had always done with each other – friendly and even handed, everyone taking a turn at being the butt of the joke, including Gibbs and taking it in good spirits."
Suddenly though, after Cate's appearance and Gibbs dramatic change, Tony making a joke at Gibbs expense had led to him physically threatening him…and not in a joking sort of way. Threatening him with his fist sort of way when he was ribbing him about his age and the stubborn idiot's refusal to acknowledge he needed glasses. It had been downright spiteful, especially since the jokes he was making at Tony's expense weren't in the least affectionate or even-handed.
No longer were they all fair game – Tony became the sole target, the whipping boy and butt of all the jokes in the office and out in the field. At first he didn't realise the dramatic shift in the team dynamic because he'd always been a prankster and expected to get pranked in return. It took a while (okay it took far too long) for him to realise that it had become a grossly one sided affair though.
Harry considered what he'd said for several minutes before replying. "Okay, that all sounds perfectly reasonable when you explain it but when you did finally realise that things had changed dramatically, why didn't you leave?"
"You know Harry, looking back I'm not really sure what had kept me at NCIS," he flashed a grin at the younger wizard, part sad, part wicked. "Although there'd been a series of encounters with a feisty agent, Paula Cassidy who intrigued me and might have diverted me for a while. Plus, as vicious as Gibbs could be by then, often making me feel like a piece of disgusting shit, pretty much like the guards back in Azkaban, he'd turn around sometimes and do or say something kind. It would put me on top of the world and make me think that maybe…just maybe, all the crap he was giving me was just a phase he was going through and we'd go back to being peers and partners again."
Tony, with the benefit of hindsight (yes okay so it was Anthony DiNozzo's hindsight, courtesy of the psychology courses he'd taken at OSU) had recognised the phenomenon he'd just described to Harry as intermittent reinforcement. Getting rewarded 100 percent of the time didn't strengthen behaviour nearly as effectively as if the reinforcement occurred on a sporadic and unpredictable basis. The more sporadic and unpredictable, the more the dumb sap became determine to illicit that damned reward.
Not sure if Harry knew anything about psychology- specifically learning theory, he explained the basics to him before continuing.
"When Gibbs went out of his way to tear me down, making me feel useless and stupid and I ended up second guessing myself, questioning my ability to do the job, I'd think about walking away, leaving all the crap behind. Then Gibbs would do something or say something out of the blue that let me feel like I mattered to him – not often but still, apparently, it was just enough for me to think that maybe they were family after all."
Enough to believe that Gibbs had something on his mind…something which could explain him acting like such a jerk to him.
To believe that he still respected his 'partner' and believed in Rule 5 – Don't Waste Good. To believe that he saw Tony as more than a means to solving cases.
"So anyway, the years went by. The intermittent reinforcement became more and more intermittent until it was virtually non-existent," he confessed sheepishly. "But the dumb sap thought if he worked harder, longer, solved more cold cases, if he pleased him that he'd earn that precious word of praise that made him feel like he was worth something. That he wasn't a screw up."
And Tony finally realised (far too late) as he was spilling his guts that Gibbs et al might have managed to achieve what twelve years of Dementors and their foul attentions hadn't been able to – the ruination of his spirit and self-belief. When he looked back on the agent who he used to be when he first joined the agency - his fierce sense of ethics, the DiNozzo /Black enthusiasm for life, his fire and refusal to be silenced, he was proud of his integrity. Examining the shell of the man he'd turned into after being on Gibbs team for 15 years, he conceded that he barely recognised himself. To be honest, he was disgusted with who he was now and all he had let go.
He'd watched on passively as Gibbs, Ziva, Vance, Franks and Shepard all abused their oaths and used their position and their badge to pursue personal revenge; breaking the law with impunity. He hadn't stopped them, nor did he walk away like he had done in Baltimore, despite knowing what they did was wrong. How pathetic was that?
At this point in the postmortem process with Harry, Tony recalled having a somewhat similar conversation with Hermione over a month ago. In fact, in an almost identical fashion to Ellie Bishop with the Royal Woods undercover debacle, Hermione had lobed a grenade into the conversation when she'd cut through all the bullshit, all the blah, blah history between Gibbs and himself, the rationalisations and half remembered recollections to force him to see things through the eyes of an outsider. She'd been totally merciless – like ripping off a painfully stuck-to-the-wound bandage without warning or sympathy.
Flashback:
"Seems to me that your premise about Gibbs reminding you of James is faulty on a number of fronts. From what I know and what you've told me, he's far more like another person of our mutual acquaintance, Siri-ah-Tony."
He looked at her, not understanding – or perhaps more accurately, not wanting to understand what she was hinting at.
Hermione adopted an expression that was much more reminiscent of a young Hogwarts Hermione, the overachieving, sometimes overweening and insufferable Gryffindor student. The teacher's pet (well apart from Snape who absolutely despised her since she was smarter than Draco or any of his prized Snakes) about to answer a complex question in class.
Adopting her didactic tone – and yes she most certainly had one - she continued to hold forth. "The grandiose certainty he is not only right but indispensable, the cloak and dagger exploits meaning he was the only one in the know, the one who is pulling the strings? That doesn't seem even a little bit familiar to you? How about making sure no one else knows enough about the situation to be able to put it all together and therefore act contrary to his grand plan."
She eyed him mercilessly as she continued to drive the stake into his heart.
"The fact that he can and often will curry favour with those he supposedly despises when they have something he wants or he decides can help him to achieve his goals. Then there's his wrath and ruthlessness if anyone had the temerity to question him or dared to deviate from his rules. None of that rings any bells?"
"C'mon Hermione. He's nothing like the so-called leader of the light who was a manipulative, power hungry hypocrite. Who wasn't troubled by the notion of placing a baby in an abusive, neglectful home and leaving them on the doorstep in the middle of the night in October. Not even bothering to make sure they were prepared to take him in, for Merlin's sake. All so the child would grow up as a malleable, submissive victim – experiencing learned helplessness and ready to go meekly like a lamb to the slaughter, all for what he'd decided was for the greater good." Tony declared angrily.
"Gibbs isn't anything like the individual who had the power as the Head of the Wizengamot to demand an innocent individual, a former student, a loyal Auror no less, receive a trial to answer vile accusations against him and yet never did. He isn't someone who allowed the blameless individual to be falsely imprisoned just so he could protect his plan, ensuring a small boy could be forced to live a life of poverty, neglect and abuse. All to fulfil his grandiose plan for the greater good."
He stood up and started pacing like a restless canine. Times such as these he regretted his human form lacked a tail and ears that he could move independent of each other with which to express himself.
Turning to spear the witch with a laser-like glare of a canine predator, that annoyingly, didn't appear to faze her one wit he growled at her. "Gibbs may be many things, Hermione, but he is nothing like Professor Albus- Percival-Wulfric-Brian -Too-Many-Bloody-Names-Dumbledore.He would never do anything like that. Perhaps I made a huge freakin mistake about Gibbs being anything like James but there's no need for you to commit character assassination, either."
Hermione had smirked at him, commenting dispassionately as she delivered the coup de grace of her demolishment. "I didn't even mention the Leader-of-the-Light or Albus-Twinkley-Eyed- Dumbledore, so if there aren't a whole bunch of similarities between Gibbs and our esteemed former headmaster, then how in Merlin's ghost did you know who I was talking about?"
Tony had been flat out furious as he considered Hermione Granger Weasley. The pretty young girl on the cusp of womanhood who he'd known 17 years ago would have flogged that dead horse to death, beating home her win, determined for him to concede the argument and declare her the victor. Then just to make sure he got the point she would have done a victory lap around the Gryffindor common room.
Now though, that super smart, slightly gullible teenager who believed implicitly in authority figures had long gone. She'd well and truly matured into an astute and empathetic woman, one who knew when it was time to retreat. Prudently, after scoring a direct hit, she changed the subject, letting her previous, passionate yet pertinent argument continued to erode his protestations as they worked on his subconscious.
Instead of flogging the dead horse, she'd shared some of the exploits of her kids – Rose and Hugh who were at Hogwarts before they swapped stories of mischief managed in the two previous generations. Laughing at the exploits of their loved ones, Tony especially appreciated hearing the tale of the Weasley twins Fred and George. Their outrageous emancipation from Delores Umbridge's Hogwarts was a tale particularly worthy of the exploits of the Marauders. He'd never heard that story before and it was a great one.
She'd also managed to crack him up laughing with her account of courage and quick thinking perspicacity, enabling Hermione and Harry to lead Umbrage, aka The-Simpering-Toad in the pink cardigan, out into the Forbidden Forrest. The dynamic duo had managed to ditch her there after she caught Harry and his six loyal lieutenants of the DA trying to use her fireplace to floo to London. Hermione described how they'd left that abhorrent piece of muggle-hating filth to the tender mercies of Hagrid's half-brother – a full blood giant – plus the furious and war-like centaurs who had a legitimate bone to pick with the bitch.
Shame they hadn't squished her like a bug when they had the chance! How many lives could have been saved if they hadn't shown her far more mercy than she deserved.
He realised later, with a sense of deep melancholy, exactly why he'd never heard those two awesome stories about getting the better of 'The-Simpering- Toad.' Sirius Black 'died' at the ministry trying to save Harry who had been tricked into going there with his friends, believing that they were saving him, literally hours after Harry and Hermione's triumph over Umbrage. Then when he'd been brought back to life, he'd spent the following two decades living a double life in America.
End of flashback:
Of course, over the past few weeks, Tony found himself stewing on Gibbs and the hitherto unrecognised similarities to Dumbledore; just as Hermione had probably hoped he would, sneaky minx that she was.
After all, she didn't end up elected as Minister of Magic without learning to be conniving and persuasive – especially since she was a so-called muggle born witch and needed to use every possible advantage to get where she was today. Such a meteoric rise to power was still unthinkable to many purebloods, he was sure. Which suggested that there was something distinctly Slytherin about her mental abilities.
She also knew enough to back off so that he couldn't help to return to the issue in his own good time and worry the issue like a dog with a bone. Oh, yeah – she knew him too damned well!
Of course, initially he was all fired up defending Gibbs against the thought that he was anything like Albus – after all, Gibbs was a Marine. He didn't leave his people behind in a stinking hellhole of a prison, especially when they were innocent, but then a naggingly, annoying inner voice started a mental dialogue. Was it Anthony or Padfoot or simply Sirius' own conscience? Whoever it was, they'd pointed out to him that Gibbs had been perfectly happy to send him and Ziva into a life-threatening situation for that Domino crap - it wasn't even a real situation in the end.
You were just bait he used as a diversion for his real plan. Clearly you weren't good enough or a valuable enough resource to be read in on what had been going down – screw Sempre Fi. There was no way on earth that the former Marine didn't know his team well enough to predict with a high degree of certainty that once physically restrained, Ziva would go berserk, or that you would try to have her six. Which was exactly what happened. So, essentially he'd sacrificed his pawns for the sake of the mission i.e. for the greater good.
Then he admitted that Gibbs' hadn't just overlooked Sempre Fi – he'd shat all over it and his precious Rule #1 when he'd allowed Vance to drag Tony's wounded butt over to Israel. They'd permitted Ziva's psychopathic sperm donor to torture him – trying to make him take the fall for the whole Michael Rivkin clusterfuck. It hadn't been a coincidence that Eli had targeted his bruised trachea and larynx plus his broken shoulder during the interrogation, all caused when Rivkin had resisted arrest.
Despite him following orders issued by the all-seeing all-knowing Gibbs to keep his eye on Ziva due to her deceptive behaviour (if you were being politic) or outright lies (if you were being blunt) Gibbs had thrown him under the bus. No doubt for the greater good!
Even Albus and his sycophants hadn't tried to torture a false admission out of him. No, they'd just ignored him and his guilt or innocence – so who was the more ethical? Frankly he wasn't sure – both stank!
Once again that irritating internal discourse was running amok in his head, stripping him of long held illusions as he recalled the events he'd chosen NOT to focus upon for way too long. 'The champion of 'sempre fi' stood by mutely and let you be dragged unlawfully and without benefit of legal advice to a foreign country and physically interrogated by the director of a foreign intelligence organisation whilst you were injured. All because you followed his orders and his rules and you somehow managed to survive an attack by a trained assassin intend on killing you.
'Meanwhile, Gibbs completely ignored Ziva's flaunting of US laws, not to mention his own damned rules, treating her like some wounded precious hothouse orchid rather than the Kidon killer she truly was.'
And as much as he didn't want to admit it, Gibbs had always given Ziva chance after chance to redeem herself. Just as Albus had bent over backwards, offering redemption to Death Eaters while allowing him to languish in that hell hole for 12 freakin years with the ever delightful Dementors to keep him company despite him doing nothing wrong. Ignoring for the moment his innate loyalty to his team mates and to Gibbs, he couldn't help asking the crucial question, now that Hermione and Ellie had disturbed the slumbering dragon he'd tried so hard to keep from stirring. If it had been expedient, would Gibbs have left him to rot in an Israeli jail to further his own agenda (i.e.to save Ziva's ass) and/or for the agency's greater good?
He didn't want to think so, but deep, deep down Tony suspected the Marine probably would. He'd seen Gibbs' absolute ruthlessness when required and his somewhat elastic moral compass. Oh, he had no doubt that the Boss would have rationalised it, claiming that he did it because he knew that Tony could 'handle' it. He'd probably argue that they had all signed on, knowing they might be called on to protect others by giving up their own life. It was finally acknowledging that suspicion that felt like he'd been torn apart.
Nor was it only the parallels between Gibbs and Dumbledore which Ellie, Hermione and Sirius' belated but spirited internal dialogue had stirred up. He found himself comparing other people from his former life in the magical world with other people who he'd encountered in his new incarnation of Tony DiNozzo. He suddenly was seeing patterns and parallels (mostly negative ones) between the people in his past and present, where previously he'd seen none. It was like when you learn the meaning of a new word and suddenly, you see it is everywhere you look, whether you are looking for it or not. For example, he'd suddenly noticed the similarities shared by his cousin Nymphadora (and truly Andy deserved flogging for saddling her infant daughter with such a shocker of a name) and the geeky but mostly endearing Ellie Bishop.
Unfortunately, they weren't the only significant parallels between individuals in his life that he'd come to realised he'd been blind to, either. There was Ziva and her sheer savagery, when he'd gone to her place to find out why her address had shown up on a terrorist's computer. Finding Rivkin there, when he'd attempted to arrest him the Kidon assassin tried to kill him and Tony ended up shooting him in self-defence. Her ferocity when she found her lover mortally wounded had been spine chilling. He'd observed that same violence when she physically attacked him in Tel Aviv, coming within a hairsbreadth of pulling the trigger of the loaded gun she'd held at point -blank range at his body. Remembering the situation, albeit reluctantly, he'd felt a shiver run up his spine.
He'd seen a ferocity, an empty madness in her eyes and the truth was he'd tried very hard all these years NOT to think about the psychosis he'd see while he was prone on the ground with a freakin big gun jammed against his ribs and his thigh. He'd honestly expected to die that day after staring into the abyss of her insanity – it had been an incredibly close thing.
Now, examining his actions and his memories, parallels suddenly leaping out and hitting him in the face, he acknowledged it was also way too reminiscent of another violent female that he'd known. Sadly, he'd seen the same empty lunacy which incidentally had been the last thing he saw before his cousin, Bellatrix Le Strange (another stone-cold killer like Ziva) sent him plummeting through the Veil of Death in the Ministry of Magic. Finally admitting that Ziva David had been similarly obsessed by madness, most recently during the whole hunt for Ilan Bodnar, culminating in her killing him in cold blood.
He'd never seen the parallels before. No… not true – he'd never WANTED to see the parallels between them. Both assassins. Both were ruthless, both 'got off on' violence.
Sirius winced at the obscene memories, not wanting to remember how aroused Bella became when she was torturing poor unfortunate victims and reluctantly recalled how aroused Ziva had been after the fight with disgraced Marine Corporal Werth. How she wanted to jump his bones because of how ripped he was – how strong – which wasn't all that surprising since he was self-dosing on steroids.
He really, really didn't like thinking too much about the level of psychosis she'd revealed during the trip to Tel Aviv. It sickened him now, wondering if it had aroused her with him lying on the ground, injured with her straddling him, a gun aimed at him and coming within a heartbeat of dying as she squeezed the trigger.
~o0o~
Harry seeing his godfather had become lost in his thoughts, didn't push him but when he turned a shade of green and looked like he might puke, the younger wizard decided to intervene.
"So, what's going on inside your head, Sirius. What do Anthony and Padfoot have to say about things?"
Sirius barked out a surprised laugh at the question. 'Yeah he really shouldn't be that surprised he'd had such a strong internal dialogue raging within since Tony DiNozzo was a complex character.'
They're both telling me that my attempts to deny that Gibbs is more of a 'carbon copy' of Albus Dumbledore than he ever was like my beloved friend, James Potter have failed miserably. They're telling me that my refusal to acknowledge it resulted in me downplaying all the crappy Dumbledore-esque things Gibbs has done over the last 15 years that should have showed me that I was an idiot."
Noting the mulish look on Harry's face he recalled that his godson was still singing Dumbledore's praises nearly two decades after his death, despite everything that old fraud and megalomaniac did to him as an orphaned child. He sighed mentally since they'd both been dancing around this topic ever since Harry came back into his life. And having gone through his own painful epiphany when it came to his 15 years of self-deception regarding Gibbs, he understood that process better than most. Knew that he couldn't force Harry to face what he wasn't ready to face so shrugging, he decided to share some anecdotes rather than arguing.
"It took place after I'd been kidnapped and trapped down in the sewer system in a cell-like room by a psycho serial killer. She drugged me and incarcerated me with a near corpse and a badly decomposing corpse. After I regained consciousness I realised the killer hadn't found my knife," he revealed, pulling out the blade disguised as a belt buckle and handing it over for inspection.
Harry's eyes widened with surprise before he exclaimed in admiration. "That's bloody brilliant, Pads."
Sirius nodded, grinning at him. "It's saved me more than once and it helped me and the half dead Marine to escape, although the killer still ended up chasing us through the sewer system."
"So how did you escape? Did the Marine survive?"
Sirius explained how they'd escaped and how their chief suspect ended up giving his life trying to save them. He revealed how the female killer, afraid that he'd seen too much had drugged his drink with BRON, an over-the-counter cough suppressant that contained methyl ephedrine, dihydrocodeine, chlorpheniramine and caffeine - cocktail that left him feeling manic and anxious. Of course, he was also feeling shaky due to the memories it provoked of his years spent rotting in Azkaban – the sewer - shock horror had been quite reminiscent of the charmingly rank atmosphere which was Azkaban.
Combined with Anthony's childhood neurosis thanks to his alcoholic father's semi-regular prediction of him ending up in the gutter, it had re-awakened a heap of terrifying demons he'd hoped he'd consigned to his mental trunk – the ones he'd hoped would never again see the light of day.
"So that must have been terrifying but what did Gibbs do?" Harry wanted to know.
Tony pulled a face. "To say that I was in a bad way, emotionally and psychologically, would be an understatement, Cub." He admitted sheepishly. "I was close to having a panic attack, in dire need of some comforting physical contact - tangible reassurance I was safe and free of the sewer system. So, while it wasn't exactly smart, I was trying goad a response out of Jethro – to get him to admit he'd been worried about me – that he'd miss me if I wasn't there."
Harry was curious. "Why wasn't it smart?" he asked, genuinely puzzled. "That was a perfectly normal response for any law enforcement professional, let alone someone from your background, Sirius. Any partner worth their salt should have understood that – and not needed begging to provide you with some paltry reassurance and comfort"
Tony looked sour as he acknowledged to himself the truth of Harry's statement. How had he not seen that back when it happened – apart from the drugs that had still been coursing through his system.
"Because forcing him to do anything always results in payback," he explained wryly. "Even before the kidnapping, I'd started questioning if I had a place as Gibbs' partner, so you can imagine my feelings when he'd planted his hands on both sides of my face and looked me in the eyes and told me I was irreplaceable."
He was in his safe place – his own apartment and with family. He let down his masks and let his vulnerability show. The hurt, the uncertainty that his death would matter to Gibbs or anyone else on the team and the sheer pain and betrayal made Harry breathless with its depths. He wished that Gibbs was there for him to hex with one of Ginny's special curses.
"It grounded me, it calmed my fears about my long-term role on the team and made me feel ten feet tall," Sirius confided sheepishly. "And Gibbs, as soon as he saw my dumb grin at his rare praise, gave me a jubilant smirk before yelling out across the squad room at McGee, 'He's still alive, so you can't have his desk.' Talk about a pricked balloon."
At that time, McGee wasn't even a regular on the team; he'd been called in TAD after Tony's disappearance. But Gibbs' cold-hearted remark had been more than enough to take him down from the dizzying heights of his euphoria to the depth of despair and self-doubt, negating the compliment and Gibbs' had physical comfort had brought him. It made him question his importance and place on the MCRT once again.
It hit him all of a sudden - just like Bellatrix and Ziva got off on killing and torture, Gibbs undoubtedly got a hard on by messing with others psychologically.
The damage done was considerable. Hell, even looking back to when he'd been battling The Black Death (and by the way, how ironic was that for Sirius Orion Black to get the plague) Gibbs order not to die wasn't anywhere near enough to shore up Tony's self-worth. Not after the harm that so-called throwaway line about him being still alive caused him.
Tony suspected that Gibbs saw him as nothing more than a tool - a means to an end in solving cases. Someone who pissed his boss off ninety five percent of the time but had his uses. He also knew that if he died while on Gibbs team, it would ruin his perfect record (until Cate had the temerity to wreck it) – not to mention the paperwork involved with the death of an agent.
Harry looked furious, no doubt directed at Gibbs, but was confused too. "So I don't get it. How is that dumbass' actions anything like Dumbledore? He was a great wizard."
"Because for Dumbledore, his Order of the Phoenix followers, and the so-called witches and wizards of the Light were all merely tools. They only existed for him to be able to move them around on his labyrinthine chess board and if he deemed it necessary, to sacrifice their lives too, just like he did with you and me. Their hopes, dreams and their aspirations simply didn't matter when stacked up against his greater good. All so he could save murderers and sociopaths, which was a crock of BS, Harry."
Looking at his godson with compassion and gentleness he continued.
"The truth was that Dumbledore hated himself so much that he needed to save others. Others who were also beyond redemption (because it was how he viewed himself) so he could metaphorically save himself. But Harry, it was all done at the expense of lives of those who were moral and good, the innocents, the children and the blameless and that was not acceptable…never ever.
"Gibbs also sees everyone else around him, including his colleagues and his team as simply tools for him to use and if required, abuse then throw away. All for him to fill his obsessive need to stalk and trap his prey. He's a predator who needs to be out in the field hunting 'dirt bags' so he doesn't drown in coffee, guilt, bourbon and self-pity down in his basement. Dumbledore tried to save the irredeemable while Gibbs wants to wipe them off the face of the earth. Both charismatic individuals, not to mention extreme narcissists, utterly convinced of their own infallibility and everyone else's mediocrity. Which probably explains why they tend to treat others like they're a particularly nasty pile of crap they'd stepped in.
Looking sombre he observed, "Both believe in the greater good and that the end justifies the means and that is never, ever acceptable, Cub. Whether you're on the side of the light and the angels or you're a despotic dictator makes no difference. The end justifying the means is the pathetic excuse that allowed a baby to be left on a doorstep. It's what got an Auror imprisoned for 12 bloody years despite being innocent. It's what permitted a grieving husband and father to mow down in cold blood, a man he blamed for the death of his beloved family. It's also what Grindelwald, Voldemort, Hitler and others of their ilk used to justify unleashing unprecedented hatred and violence on innocent victims. All for these psychopathic terrorists to achieve their selfish need for power and to feed their deluded fantasies of Utopian purity."
Looking nothing like the affable agent who people constantly underestimated, DiNozzo stared off into the middle distance, contemplating all the evil acts and violence that had been his misfortune to see, both as a law enforcement professional and as a survivor of two wars. His eyes hooded and filled with pain, he observed softly.
"No doubt they all claimed they were acting for the greater good too when they came up with their plans for ethnic/racial cleansing. So, I say to that…tell that to the survivors of the concentration camps. Tell it to the women who were gang raped while their men and children were rounded up and massacred. Tell it to the indigenous people who have lost their culture and their heritage because of ethnic cleansing. Tell the children who grew up without their parents it their suffering was for the greater good
"Tell me Cub, was it really justified that you and Neville and others like you all lost your parents? Was it ever worth it?"
Both wizards stared at the scented candle which Sirius had lit when they first sat down to begin this awkward conversation. The flame flickered in the silence as both tacitly acknowledged that despite there being so much more they needed to say to each other, they were done. At least for tonight.
~o0o~
Two days later:
Tony was practically jumping out of his skin, his sixth sense that telling him someone was watching him, making him anxious. Harry argued strongly he should keep Padfoot well and truly leashed since the risk of someone outing him if they saw him transforming was too high. Unfortunately, the cool, calm and collected part of his brain which agreed in principle with Harry, was warring mightily with the more primitive instinctual part of his nature.
Although everybody had an instinctive nature, it was much more finely honed in an animagus. When he'd escaped from Azkaban to save Harry from that rat-bastard Pettigrew, he'd had to live for a year on the run as a dog with the Dementors, Aurors and regular non-magical cops all hot on his heels, trying to hunt him down. He'd learnt early on that to survive on the run, he needed to trust his senses and think less like a wizard.
Luckily, only the Marauders had known about Padfoot and Pettigrew was in no position to be talking to the Ministry, since he was hiding out in his animagus form too, supposedly dead at Sirius' hand. It only left Remus in a position to tell the authorities about Sirius/Padfoot and although Remus had at that point believed he had betrayed them all, somehow he hadn't shared Padfoot's furry little abilities with the DMLE. Sirius liked to think that perhaps a tiny bit of Lupin's faith in him had remained.
So, with Pads basically whining and wanting to be let off the chain, he'd learnt to trust his inner-canine, especially if he reacted strongly to a situation. And his animagus was ready to go postal. Plus, as an ex-cop and Auror, he was totally convinced that something was very wrong with the crime scene they'd been called out to. Staring down at the female with the bleached blonde hair (and dark roots) dressed in the uniform of a naval ensign, DiNozzo has strong misgivings that this was a real crime scene. It felt staged.
Oh, sure the young woman was dead – there wasn't a shadow of a doubt about that. While Ducky and Jimmy were not yet on scene and therefore unable to declare her dead, the female was clearly deceased. She had the curiously huddled appearance that the dead often seem to take on in death. Plus, the savage bruising around her throat, large handprints standing out in clear relief against skin which was Goth-white told the story of how she met her death. Someone (almost certainly male) had throttled the life out of her.
No, what had tipped him off that this was a setup had to do with the 'Ensign' who, going by his experienced eye seemed fake. Unless the yet to be identified female was UA from the navy and had been for an extended period of time, he didn't think she was military at all. She looked like she was a street kid – a sex worker, an addict, a runaway - probably all three. She had that 'look' Tony had come to recognise during his time as a cop in Baltimore and Anthony DiNozzo concurred with his impression – since he'd spent quite a few hundred man hours in undercover operations in the Philly and Peoria Police Departments on the streets too. Although hard to define to a civilian, even in death the youngster had a hardness about her that spoke of long-term time spent on the streets and made her so much older than her biological age.
Plus, apart from the questionable identity of the victim, the setting for the murder (if indeed it took place here, and he had his doubts about that too) was highly suspicious. A highly remote section of Rock Creek Park had been selected – the clearing at the dead end of a track and the rock-strewn gully with plenty of cover for their stalker just screamed 'ambush.' Not surprising then that Padfoot was virtually howling to escape the confines of his human form. Even though McGee and Ellie were standing there awaiting his orders to begin processing the crime scene, it seems that Pads didn't care – he wanted out and didn't that speak volumes about the danger they were in.
Glancing across at Harry he could see the young Auror was disturbed too. Perhaps because he knew about the stalker that his godfather was convinced was dogging him or maybe his own gut was telling him that this was a trap too. After all, he'd been in his fair share of dangerous situations, too.
Deciding that if this was a trap, then he was going to be the one springing it, he started issuing orders very quietly. "Tim, Ellie, this situation feels off. Go back and meet Ducky and Palmer and escort them down here. I don't want them to be left alone for a second. I'll call for backup. Be careful – watch out for them and each other. We'll wait here and secure the scene."
Ellie frowned. "What about you?"
"There's two of us. We'll watch each other's backs." He looked at McGee. "Take good care of Bishop and the docs."
McGee looked sceptical but finally nodded acquiescence.
Raising his voice, he issued orders to his team, "Bishop, McGee, head back to the main track and wait for Ducky and Palmer. They'll probably take the wrong fork in the track and end up hopelessly off course. I swear they could get lost between Autopsy and the head."
Bishop laughed nervously, obviously understanding they were playacting for anyone that was watching them.
As the two agents hurried back towards the road, he approached Harry before speaking sotte voce – barely moving his mouth. "He's here – I can feel him. Let's get the sucker."
Raising his voice, he looked at his godson. "I sent McGee and Bishop to retrieve the ME's make sure they don't get lost." He chuckled casually. "Can you taking photos, I'm going back to the truck to get the digital fingerprint thingy to scan the ensign's fingerprints. McGee must have left it in the truck," he lied, heading into the back of the truck so he could shift to his animagus form.
Once in the truck he closed the door and whipped out James…no Harry's cloak of invisibility from his pocket, wrapping it around himself before he shifted into Padfoot and emerged noiselessly from the truck. Cautious, since the last thing he wanted to do was to tip his hand…um paw, he began to make his way towards Harry. His soft pads enabling him to move silently over the ground like the predator he was.
Now he was shifted and able to use his impressive senses to their fullest ability he was positive that the threat was real. 'He' was here, slowly making his way towards Harry who appeared totally immersed in his task of taking photographs of the body and surrounds.
While it felt good to know for certain that he wasn't paranoid it was an unpleasant shock to find out that the threat was one which was extremely familiar to Padfoot – unpleasantly so. He cursed his human side for talking him out of shifting earlier, since if he had, he would have recognised the scent signature instantly. Perhaps he could have prevented the 'Ensign' from dying – although there would be plenty of time for recriminations later, after he took care of this deadly threat.
He'd scented this individual many times during his incarceration in Azkaban, although Padfoot never knew this scum's identity. Sure, it was one of Old Snakey Lips bunch of murdering Death Eaters but the exact identity of the group of murdering psychos had remained a mystery and truthfully not something he wanted to remember.
Since Gibbs dumb ass attempt to discover his future agency, Tony had felt a vague sense of familiarity when he was being followed. With Tony's superior senses (although they were nowhere near as acute as when he was Padfoot) he couldn't help feeling that the threat was from someone he knew. Now Padfoot realised why that was. It was someone he knew really well – and not just from Azkaban but much more recently."
About the time he received his epiphany, his acute hearing picked up a slight rustle as the stalker ghosted into view before taunting the younger wizard as he drew close. "Well, well, well. If it isn't the Boy-Who-Lived. Although you're hardly a boy anymore, Potter," he sneered.
"The question I really want answered is why is Dumbledore's obsequious little puppet here in the US and exactly what's your connection to Anthony DiNozzo Junior?"