The campfire burned brightly under a dark sky dotted with shimmering stars. A good meal had been eaten, fresh fish caught directly from the lake and roasted over the fire, seasoned with a secret blend Daniel had created himself. Hannah had saved the blend over the years since he died, waiting to use it at the right moment. This was the right moment, here at Porcupine Mountains Wilderness Park, a place with memory thick in the air. Hannah smiled over at Jane, who had leaned back in her camping chair to contemplate the beautiful sky, a wooden stick dangling from her hand with a half eaten marshmallow on the end. They'd had their fill of marshmallows and now faced the sleepiness brought on by an active day.
Hannah ruminated over the last two weeks of vacation. Right after Jane's graduation, they'd hopped a ship to Earth and then arrived at her parents' house in Michigan. Little had changed at home except Hannah's parents, who were reaching their seventies at this point. Hannah and Jane utilized the first week and a half to traipse all over their favorite Michigan spots: Mackinac Island, Tahquamenon Falls, Fayette, and Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore. Now, with only two days remaining, they'd gone camping just like they always had with Daniel. They'd gotten up early this morning and made the drive to the park, then spent the afternoon hiking, taking in the beauty of the woods and wildlife. Now they had settled down for the night, enjoying the quiet of the forest punctuated by the chirping of crickets.
"You know, when I always look at the night sky on Earth," Jane commented, "I look for the constellations that point towards the locations of alien planets: Thessia, Palaven, Sur'Kesh, even Kar'shan."
Hannah leaned back in her own chair, gazing at the sky. She'd never actually thought of doing what Jane did, the consequence of living at a different time. When she'd first become interested in the stars, she hadn't known aliens existed. She'd hoped they did, but all she saw when she stared at the stars were the constellations alone. She remembered how she and Daniel used to compete against each other, seeing who could identify the most constellations. She usually won. Hannah chuckled at the memory.
"What are you laughing about?" Jane asked.
Hannah turned her head to Jane who was looking at her curiously. "A memory of your dad." Hannah sighed softly.
"It feels like he's here," Jane said, raising the stick she held to her mouth and finishing off the marshmallow.
Hannah nodded. Every hiking path, every lake excursion, every hill to climb had Daniel etched all over it. Through both memories from when Hannah was young and memories as a family, Daniel had made his mark on their favorite camping spot.
"He'd be so proud of you, Jane," Hannah breathed out. Jane said nothing, but Hannah recognized the depth of thought reflected in her eyes as she stared at the campfire. You would be, Hannah spoke inside to Daniel. She's grown into a confident, well adjusted, upstanding young woman, just what you would want her to be.
"You still certain about military life?" Hannah asked.
Jane smiled with half her mouth. "How many times are you going to ask me that?"
Hannah shook her head. "I don't know. I just really want to be sure you're sure."
"I'm as sure as I was when I told you two months ago. Mom, don't worry, okay? I know what I'm doing."
Hannah bobbed her head at Jane, then closed her eyes, listening to the crackle and occasional pop of the wood being licked by the tongues of the fire. Jane would be alright. She'd make it. She had to. Hannah thought life couldn't be so unkind as to leave her alone in the world, not after Daniel had been taken from her.
Hannah found herself waking up to the aroma of pancakes and syrup wafting into the tent. She sat up, yawning and stretching her arms above her head. Jane's sleeping bag was empty, indicating she was the source of the delicious smells. Hannah rose, threw on her green sundress along with a warm sweater, then exited the tent. Jane had pulled out the portable burner and was flipping pancakes.
"Yours is ready," Jane said, motioning to a plate piled three pancakes high. Hannah sat down at the wooden picnic table, reaching over to ladle out some freshly made hot syrup from a saucepan. Jane soon joined her with her own plate. They ate in comfortable silence, the coolness of the morning revitalizing their fatigued bodies.
After Hannah was full, she sighed loudly. "So, what's on the agenda today?"
Jane put down her fork, leaning forward on the table, resting her chin on the back of her linked fingers. She smiled wickedly. "Aqua racing."
Hannah grinned and tilted her head. "I wondered when you'd planned to take me on." Jane had insisted they bring the two Aqua Racers owned by her parents. For years Jane had tried to beat Hannah racing them, but she always managed to best her. "You should cede the win to me right now."
"No way," Jane said. "I will claim victory this time."
"Good luck, kiddo," Hannah taunted, her tone implying the impossibility of Jane's success.
"Let's suit up, then," Jane pressed, standing up from the table.
"Alright," Hannah agreed. She and Jane went back into the tent, eyeing each other competitively as they changed into their swimsuits. When they were ready, they backed the speeder up to the lake, easing the trailer with the Aqua Racers into the lake. They unhooked the Racers. Jane commandeered the one outlined in blue, while Hannah climbed on the one painted in yellows. They piloted the Racers far out on the water, all the way to a white buoy floating in the middle of the lake.
"Where's the finish line?" Hannah asked Jane.
"The island," Jane suggested.
Hannah put her hand over her eyes, peering at the island. It was quite a distance from the buoy, but well known to her. They'd explored the little piece of land every time they went camping as a family. "Alright. Supplemental drive allowed?"
"Definitely," Jane said, her eyes twinkling.
Hannah smiled inwardly. She always won their races because she knew just when to engage the supplemental drive. You had to handle it just right, push the pedal skillfully enough to get the burst of speed you needed at just the right moment to send yourself careening ahead of your competitor.
"Alrighty then. You count."
Jane leaned low over her Racer, revving the engine. Hannah copied her movements, keeping Jane in her peripheral vision.
"One…two…three!" Jane peeled forward, skimming across the water. Hannah sped alongside her, the two neck and neck. Hannah always loved the way the wind whipped through her hair. The speed of the Racer sent her heart skyward as it pumped with adrenaline. Jane maintained her low position over her Racer, determination honing her focus on the island. It was coming up fast. Hannah began to judge when to engage the supplemental drive. Her foot hovered over the pedal, waiting for the right moment. When she thought it was time, she pushed down, but realized in astonishment that Jane had engaged hers a second earlier and had been propelled ahead of her. She put her foot down heavily, trying to force the Racer to muster all the speed it could, but she knew she'd already lost the race. Jane pulled up on the island a good five seconds before her.
Jane jumped off her Racer after she'd grounded it on the shore of the island and started to do a victory dance, pumping her fists in the air and shaking her hips. Hannah grounded her own Racer and slid off, staring at Jane with her arms crossed over her chest.
"Pure luck," Hannah called out over Jane's whooping.
Jane turned, her face elated with a wide grin. "Oh no, it wasn't! I watched you this time. I watched your foot and the second you went for it, I went first. It was strategy, pure and simple."
Hannah shook her head, trying to blow off Jane's explanation, slightly annoyed her young daughter had finally bested her at Aqua racing. "I want a rematch."
Jane laughed haughtily. "I finally beat you. I'm not letting you have a rematch for a long time."
Hannah pouted and stomped over to the shore, picking up a rock and giving it a good throw. It splashed far into the lake. Jane followed her, still grinning like a Cheshire Cat. "Oh come on, it's not so bad. You should be glad I beat you. Maybe it's a sign for my prosperous future."
Hannah chuckled then, disarmed by Jane's good natured way. "Perhaps. But I would rather you have depended upon a fortune cookie and not on winning a race against your mother." Last Thursday they'd eaten at a favorite restaurant in town, Uncle Woo's, where Jane's fortune had declared, A harmonious prosperity is about to come your way.
Jane bent over, flipping over several rocks, looking for big, flat ones like her father had taught her. She found a few good ones, setting them to the side, then picked them up one by one, flinging them so they skipped over the water. When she sent the last one sailing, she stopped and put her hands behind her head, sighing, her good mood dissipating.
"Sometimes I still get so angry that he's gone."
Hannah didn't have to ask who she meant. Since they had arrived, Jane had gotten entirely reminiscent, especially over Daniel. She figured Jane's future departure had something to do with it. "I know how you feel."
"He should be here," Jane grumbled, pacing down the shore, Hannah falling into step next to her.
"But he isn't," Hannah answered. "It won't do you any good to be angry about it."
Jane slowed her pace a bit. "Are you ever angry?"
Hannah snorted. "Of course. There are still days I can hardly hold it together, wanting him to be next to me, to encourage me, to tell me I can keep going."
"Mom," Jane stopped walking, "how can I stop getting angry? Whenever I think of him, I pretty much just get eaten up inside."
Jane had never admitted this to her. Hannah knew the first couple years had been hard for Jane, but she assumed Jane had slowly gotten over Daniel's death. She admonished herself. Did you ever "get over" someone's death? No, you just forced yourself to live as normally as possible and over time, forcing yourself just got easier. She realized now the self-control Jane must have to put herself through every time thoughts of Daniel welled up within her.
"Well," Hannah began, "you refuse to let anger control you and instead, channel your energy elsewhere, somewhere positive. Like when I was on Mindoir, I wanted to make your dad proud, I wanted to do what he would do. He was a selfless, caring man and I want to be like him to honor him. Doing that keeps the anger at bay and makes me feel close to him."
Jane nodded thoughtfully. "I hope I get better at doing that."
"You're doing just fine," Hannah encouraged. "Your dad would love hearing your goals of protecting others, of promoting peace in the galaxy. Let his memory motivate you, not destroy you."
They walked the rest of the shore in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. Hannah identified places on the island she and Daniel had chatted at through the years. She could almost feel him walking right beside her, almost believe she could reach out and take his hand like so many times before. I still love you, Daniel, she spoke to him inside.
"Ready to go back?" Jane asked when they reached the end of the small island.
Hannah nodded and they turned around, moving back towards the Racers.
"I want to go to the cemetery tomorrow," Jane announced quietly.
"I figured," Hannah answered, her voice also soft. They had visited Daniel's grave every time they came back to Sault Sainte Marie. Tomorrow was Jane's last day of vacation and Hannah knew she wouldn't want to leave until she talked to Daniel.
Hannah accompanied Jane into the cemetery. It was a beautiful place, built on a small green hill with flowering trees and cobbled walking paths. Daniel's grave was positioned not that far from a blossoming lilac tree with a stone bench underneath it.
"You want to be alone?" Hannah asked. Jane nodded, her face solemn. Hannah sat down on the bench and watched her daughter walk several more feet to Daniel's headstone. She observed the movements of her mouth and knew Jane was talking to her daddy. Her heart broke for herself and Jane. What she had said to Jane yesterday held true—she didn't usually get mad, having become skilled at channeling her feelings elsewhere. But for a moment, her anger flared up, rich and heavy. Why did you have to leave us, Daniel? Why does Jane have to go through this? Why? She knew there was no answer to her questions. She couldn't perceive any grand plan in Daniel's death. But as her anger cooled, her pensive mind began to consider the possibility. Was there a good reason he died? Had his death done something, taught something to Jane that she couldn't have learned any other way? For that matter, had it taught her something? Maybe it had. Maybe she just hadn't figured out what she'd learned yet. She found herself hoping that somewhere down the road, she would understand why Daniel had to leave.
After a time, Jane returned. "I'm going back to the speeder," she said quietly.
Hannah nodded in acknowledgement. "I'll join you in a minute." She watched Jane stroll down the hill, then walked over to Daniel's grave. She read the headstone: Daniel John Shepard, 2130-2168, Beloved Husband and Father. It was such an inadequate summary of the value of Daniel's life. It only hinted at who he had been to herself and Jane. She wished you could fill a headstone with a life story etched in tiny print for someone to read, to really know who was buried here.
"Daniel," she spoke quietly, "I hope you're proud of both of us. We've managed to move on without you. I know you wouldn't want me to stand here, mourning you all over again, so I won't. I'll just tell you that I hope we both honor you and make you proud. And I still promise, there will never be anyone for me but you."
Hannah knelt down and ran her hand over the top of the cool granite headstone. Maybe it was a silly gesture, but she felt it was the closest she could get to touching Daniel once again. She stood and made her way back to the speeder waiting down below.
Hannah waited with Jane at the landing pad. Jane had packed everything she would need, which wasn't much. She fit all the essentials into one bag, proclaiming she needed to begin the transition to military life. Soon she'd be stepping onto a shuttle that would ferry her to Virginia to begin her grand new adventure.
"I know you want to travel light," Hannah said to Jane, "but I'd like to give you one more thing to take with you."
Jane inspected the long bag Hannah passed to her, her eyes widening as she recognized what it was. "Your rifle?"
Hannah nodded, gladly handing over the marksman rifle she'd been awarded so many years ago at basic training. "I think I still hold the record in marksman shooting. But maybe this will bring you luck. If anyone beats my record, I'd like it to be you." Hannah winked at Jane.
Jane slung the rifle bag over her shoulder. "It'll be my good luck charm." She then reached out and threw her arms around Hannah. "I love you, mom."
Hannah patted her back and returned the hug. "Love you, too."
Jane released Hannah when a voice called out for all new recruits to board the shuttles. Hannah noticed only a slight wetness in Jane's eyes and worked to keep her own eyes clear. As Jane moved towards the shuttle, Hannah couldn't help but call out.
"Make us proud, kiddo!"
Jane turned, waved, then stood straight at attention and saluted. Hannah saluted back and Jane boarded the shuttle. Hannah stayed put until the shuttle took off, tracing its climb into the sky until her eyesight could discern it no longer.
When Hannah returned home to her parents' house, she retreated to her old bedroom, laying on the bed. She still had a couple weeks until she needed to be back on the Einstein. She liked her parents, but she wanted to be back on ship right now with work a distraction for her melancholy feelings.
As if responding to her silent wish, her data pad vibrated. She picked up and held it in the air as she tapped the screen to light up the device. She'd received a new message on her work e-mail. The subject line was intriguing: "Proof is in the Pudding." It was from Maddock and such a weird title from him piqued her interest. She tapped the subject line and the message popped up.
Four years ago, when I asked you to be Staff Commander on the Einstein, I tempted you with a promotion. I didn't think I'd actually get you to come over to my ship, but circumstances pulled you my direction. So I'm glad to say your move was worth it. I need an XO; Renault retired. I received permission to choose his replacement. I want you to be the Executive Officer on board the Einstein. How's that for keeping my end of the deal? Oh, and let me know your answer ASAP. Captain Maddock.
Hannah beamed. First Officer onboard the Einsten? Of course! She tapped out a quick reply with immediate acceptance. She would miss Jane, but being on her own seemed to have its advantages. Now her attention could turn back to her own career. Maybe she'd achieve some great destiny after all.
Author's Note: Thanks again to everyone who's following Hannah's story! This was a short transition chapter to move Hannah to the next phase of her life. Only a few more chapters until we find out what Hannah does throughout ME1.