A Moment Passed

Lily was shattered, she hadn't gone to bed until three o'clock and she was stiff from sitting on a windowsill for hours. She half wondered why she hadn't sat on James' bed, although there would have been no knowing what might have happened if she had fallen asleep there. She pulled on her robes in a haze, not noticing the looks she was getting from her friends as she grumbled, 'Morning,' at them.

Alice managed to separate her from the others as they headed down to breakfast, slowing her down and whispering, 'Where were you last night? Laura's already assumed you slept with James.'

Lily woke up very quickly, 'What?' she hissed.

'You didn't come back from seeing him until around three in the morning, even I'm not going to believe you were just talking to him, Lily.'

Alice looked a mixture of concerned and pleased with herself at getting Lily together with James Potter.

'He wasn't there.' Lily replied flatly, continuing towards the Great Hall.

'What do you mean?'

'He wasn't there, Alice,' Suddenly Lily looked scared, almost on the edge of tears, 'I sat in there for hours, I fell asleep in there, sitting on the windowsill and not a damn one of showed up. Where were they all night?'

As if on cue, James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew clattered down the stairs behind them and James called, 'Hey Lily,' by way of a morning greeting.

Lily had had enough; she threw caution to the wind and turned around, 'Where were you last night?' she snapped.

James looked a little confused, 'Why?'

'I…' Alice, Black and Peter were all watching her.

Something in James' eyes looked almost triumphant, 'Never mind,' she hissed, disgusted with them all.

She turned away and began to walk away, wishing she hadn't tried to talk to him, wishing she had just left it. She was tired and stiff and she definitely didn't need an argument with Potter before she had even had breakfast.

'Lily, wait!'

There were footsteps behind her, closing quickly, she quickened her pace, but he caught her easily.

'Why did you want to know?'

She was angry, angrier than she had been in weeks and fed up with dancing around the subject as though it was somehow forbidden, 'I wanted to talk you. Where were you?'

Alice, Black and Peter had disappeared.

'I…' he looked strangely hesitant for a moment, then he sighed and said, 'we were in the Forbidden Forest. Don't be angry, Lily, please.'

Lily stared at him.

After everything that had happened this year, after all he had been through. He still had the nerve, the stupidity to…

'It was Full Moon last night, James! What the hell were you thinking?'

She couldn't even begin to comprehend the risks they had been taking; it had been proven that there were werewolves in there. He had proven that.

'I'm not scared, Lily.'

'You're not scared?' Lily stared at him in amazement, 'It's not about being scared, you idiot! There are things in there that could kill you! Have tried to kill you!'

'That's not what I meant, Lily.'

His face had gone strangely sombre, darkly hazel eyes watching her with something like concern. Lily had to mentally take a step back before she realised what he was talking about. He had changed the topic without her realising.

'You're not angry about where I was last night, Lily. You know we've been going into the Forest for years and you've never, ever told me it was dangerous. So why now, Lily? Why now? What's changed?'

He had to press her; it was the only way it could ever work. If he didn't back her into a corner, then she might never acknowledge what he thought of her, how much he liked her.

'I wanted to talk to you,' she said lamely, looking down at the floor and brushing a strand of hair back from her face.

His heart was pounding so fast.

'What about?' he asked, trying to sound as natural as he could.

She was scared. She was downright terrified.

She knew she liked him. But that much? Could she say it to his face?

It wasn't just that either.

If… If he really did like her, if they did start going out, what would happen? Lily wasn't stupid, it would be all over the school; people would be talking about her everywhere she went. She had to make a decision; had James Potter really changed that much or was he still just the eleven year old boy who had pretended to push her off the Astronomy Tower?

What had they been doing in the Forest last night?

James knew the answer long before she said it; it was in the way her hands held each other and she glanced out the window before she looked up at him.

He took a deep breath.

'It was n-'

'Don't worry about it. Maybe another time.' He said and made to walk past her, towards the Great Hall and breakfast. He tried to quash the disappointment rising in his chest and walk away; it wasn't his choice to make and she had made her decision, part of him wasn't even surprised.

She stopped him with a hand on his chest as he mentally added, 'or another life.'

He looked down, trying not to narrow his eyes at her and asked civilly, 'What are you doing?' now wasn't the time to get angry.

She had expected him to say something, maybe something harsh or rude. But he hadn't; he had kept his peace and begun to walk away.

She wasn't sure if she ought to be surprised and grateful, or whether she had, once again, made a massive oversight in her judgement of the boy in front of her. Was she just cruel and petty?

She had admitted it to herself; she liked James, liked him more than a friend. And he had given her a chance.

One trip into the Forest though and she had thrown her feelings aside. She had never felt this much doubt and confusion over a boy she liked, but then, she had never really got to know any boys like James.

Maybe, in some ways, he was more mature than her.

Somehow, her hand came up and pressed against his chest, stopping him from walking away. Suddenly she realised her heart was racing and she didn't know why.

Where moments ago there had been earnest honesty, now there was just cold recognition looking down at her, 'What are you doing?'

Her heart thumped in her chest and she knew she didn't want to let him walk away; she didn't want a return to the old ways, or worse.

Despite the blank gaze, despite her worries, despite everything she had though; he had managed to prove himself by doing the only thing she thought he couldn't: walking away. He wasn't that eleven year old boy anymore, but maybe she was still that little girl and maybe, just maybe, it was time to grow up.

She reached up and kissed him on the lips.

With James it wasn't like she expected at all.

There was no explosion of stars, no thrill of excitement that ran up her spine, she didn't feel weak at the knees or like a princess who had just been rescued. There was none of that.

It simply felt right.