With Mairu and Kururi finally asleep after staying awake for the whole story Izaya can finally lock himself away in the nest that is his bed and spend time with his Shizu-chan, having a one-sided conversation with the information.

All day had been torture with it so available but being unable to do much as peek at it for hours. Finally, with shaking hands, he pulls out his notebook and a pen, his phone, and laptop for the flash drive. Izaya decides to follow the path of Shizuo's life and start with the elementary school files on his phone. With his jittering pen poised at the ready in his left hand, he unlocks his phone with the right and opens up the picture files.

"Sh-sh-Shizu-chan! What are you doing?!" Izaya gasps as Shizuo traps him between the hard line of his shoulders and the wall of the closet.

"Just shut up!" Shizuo snaps in a stage-whisper. "We're in the library, you gotta be quiet."

…

Yesterday Shizuo went into the counselor's office to check in. He hadn't had any reported outbursts since starting his library community service, so his visit should've been quick.

Except for today, Shizuo smelled something that didn't belong.

On his way out of the office with his usual counselor, who was very happy with Shizuo's progress and despite being curious about the change, didn't press too much when Shizuo looked away and said he wasn't ready to talk about that yet . He was worried telling too many people might jinx it or something.

But just as Shizuo was about to leave for class he caught a whiff of something faint and stale, but so familiar it would've been impossible to miss. That wonderful smell of cyanide wafted into his nose and made his heart race as Nakura, the boy who worked the front desk, walked past with a box of lost and found items.

Shizuo had never paid any attention to Nakura before and probably never would have had Nakura not been carrying that box to the back room to store the junk inside until the semester ended at that exact moment. But as soon as Shizuo caught the scent, he threw out his arm to stop Nakura without a thought to stop Nakura with a bruising grip on his shoulder.

"He-He-Heiwajima! Please d-don't! Ow, please don't hurt me! I didn't mean to- I tried not to-!"

Shizuo - who was just going to ask for the box to check and see if Izaya really had lost something like he thought he smelled, just hoped that maybe he could return something his weird, not really but kinda friend had lost and maybe make that sort-of friend smile - blinked at this. He hadn't meant to intimidate or interrogate Nakura, but that's what ended up happening.

Shizuo asked what Nakura was crying about and the boy started babbling so much nonsense Shizuo could hardly make sense of any of it. But Shizuo did pick up a few keywords.

"He was gonna-! Heiwajima-san, he tied me up and was gonna burn me if I didn't tell him where your records were!"

"Who?" Shizuo demanded. His rage boiled but he managed to keep it down and didn't have an incident in the counselor's office.

Nakura stuttered out that he didn't know who, swore up and down that he was telling the truth, and said that all he had was a black jacket that his attacker had left which he put in the lost and found in hopes of the boy eventually coming back for it. The villain, of course, did not.

Shizuo demanded that Nakura give him the jacket and tell him everything - in exchange Shizuo wouldn't put him in the hospital. Nakura was happy to comply.

Shizuo took the stale jacket which could only belong to his villain, stuffed it in his bag before he inhaled it in front of Nakura, and listened to what Nakura said had happened.

The story was so crazy, almost straight from Shizuo's childhood fantasies about the kind of bad guy he would catch, that he almost couldn't believe it. Except for the part where Nakura, in his panic, confessed that Izaya had kissed him on the cheek twice. That sort of psychological sadism was not what Shizuo had imagined as a child.

It was so much worse. Shizuo had to remember his promise not to hurt Nakura and run out of the office before he killed the victim of the crime.

Shizuo couldn't remember the last time he was so pissed without having been physically attacked. He ran through the halls, straight to the library, thinking of all the ways he'd kill Izaya for tormenting a student, for breaking several laws and invading Shizuo's privacy on a whole new level, for kissing that slimy, pathetic little bastard on the cheek!

But when Shizuo got to the library, ran straight to the back, twisted the knob - breaking all the the pins and the lock easier that sliding a hot knife through butter - and forced his way inside to see Izaya curled up in a tiny, fluffy pink ball in the corner with a huge book and looking up at Shizuo with wide eyes behind crooked glasses, Shizuo forgot about killing him.

…

Shizuo is still beyond pissed about the whole situation, so fucking pissed off that he can't find the words to even being yelling at Izaya. Shizuo needs to calm down, needs a cigarette. Or something stronger.

He needs his cyanide.

So he ignores Izaya's sputtering, kicks the door shut behind them, and holds Izaya still. Shizuo's arms are wrapped around Izaya's upper body, angled up to dig his fingers into his shoulders - probably leaving bruises and trapping Izaya in his hold and that pink blanket.

"Shut up, just shut up for one fucking minute Izaya." Shizuo hisses between deep breathes. "If you don't shut up I'll squeeze you 'till you pop. I need to think." Shizuo squeezes just a bit tighter, just for emphasis, but it's enough to make Izaya gasp. It's enough to feel Izaya shudder against him, just a little, and it's enough to send Shizuo's train of thought spinning for a moment.

Shizuo presses his nose into Izaya's hair, which is even softer than it looks, and takes deep, steady breaths like he's having a cigarette on the rooftop alone in the morning. He can feel his heart rate pick up, all his muscles relax, and all the stress fade into the background like it always does when his addiction is satisfied. The smell is so strong Shizuo all Shizuo would have to do is open his mouth to have it melting across his tongue.

Izaya is strangely quiet in his arms and is so still that Shizuo might think he killed him if not for the warm, strong thumping of his heart pressed against Shizuo's. With their chests pressed together, Shizuo is sure Izaya can feel their hearts ramming together. How could Izaya not feel the way Shizuo's heart is desperately straining against his rib cage like it wants to break free and leap into Izaya? The thought makes Shizuo shudder. It's terrifying but sounds so freeing. To just let go and be honest about how he feels.

But now isn't the time for that.

Shizuo shifts his hand, sliding it through the space he creates between Izaya's back and the wall he's pressed against, just feeling the tension before he notices something peculiar. An oddly textured, cool, tiny spot of the wall. It takes Shizuo a moment before he realizes what it is.

Ah… it's a peephole. Man I feel dumb. Been in here for weeks and this is my first time noticing it. That's it. It's so simple. It's all been so simple.

But at the same time, it's not simple at all. It's ridiculous and convoluted and really weird and now that Shizuo knows he isn't surprised at all.

He takes a few more steadying breaths and closes his eyes, only aware of the person he really should be beating up right now but instead has him wrapped up in an inescapable hug. He can feel every tiny, involuntary twitch of Izaya's body and wonders if Izaya is always this secretly expressive or if he's just uncomfortable right now.

He's probably not afraid, I can't even picture Izaya afraid, but uncomfortable for sure. I know this isn't the way I should be dealing with my crush but Izaya deserves way more than "uncomfortable" for what he's done. He's about to get off easy.

I really am going to let this bad guy get away with anything, aren't I? I'm the worst cop ever.

"Izaya…" Shizuo rumbles low and dangerously calm in his ear, but Izaya jumps like he's just been screamed at. "Tell me everything you've found about me in the school archives."

Izaya starts struggling wildly, but still can't make Shizuo budge. Shizuo probably wouldn't even notice the straining of Izaya's strength against his own if he wasn't enamored by Izaya's every inhale.

"I can prove you were in the office, you left your jacket. It's been over a week but it still reeks of you."

Izaya freezes, but Shizuo can still feel the buzz of adrenaline in his body. It's a strange thing, to feel what makes him a monster pumping so furiously in someone else.

"And I can feel the peephole behind you that you probably used to spy on me reading those mystery books. I don't know how you knew it was a childhood dream of mine to be a detective, but I'm guessing you just decided to profile me and take a gamble."

Finally, Shizuo pulls back far enough to look at Izaya while maintaining a tight hold on his shoulders. Shizuo wants to read Izaya's eyes and look at his face, but it's hidden by the shadow of his bangs. All Shizuo can see is the strange knot Izaya has formed with his mouth, twisted up in so many thoughts it just looks like a grimace.

"I win. Can I claim my prize now?"

When Shizuo first struck that deal he was experiencing too many confusing things to really know what he wanted from Izaya. Now, he can think of a million things he wants from Izaya. In the dim light of the closet with Izaya so close, one thing in particular comes to mind.

But Shizuo doesn't want his first kiss to be because of a stupid bet.

"Yes, Shizu-chan." Izaya chokes out, and it sounds painful. "You win. I'll leave you alone now."