"Hey, Izaya, do you think that I… That some people are born bad?"
"Hahaha! Shizu-chan, that's ridiculous. You're implying that anyone is just 'good' or 'bad.'"
"But to answer your question, if there is such as thing as innate nature it's not strong enough to overcome nurture. No human is that special. Humans are nothing more than a culmination of their past experiences. A result of training through a complex, contradictory system of rewards and punishments both direct and subliminal. Some may be more difficult to figure out than other but ultimately everyone can be predicted. No one is an island, no one is their own. No one is special. Anyone who is special,anyone who is their own is not a human. If you are not human, you are a monster."
That was the first time anyone had ever asked Izaya that. The only questions he gets are childish curiosities from his sisters or mindless niceties from adults. It was good to have someone ask about his thoughts for a change.
Now, it's Friday afternoon and the bliss from that question is lost to nerves. Tonight he's going to put knowledge and theory into practice. He's called a babysitter for Mairu and Kururi, steels himself mentally for what he's about to do, and pours out the contents of his shopping bags onto his bedroom floor.
He repeats the plan to himself over and over, plus what he's going to do if things go wrong as he rolls black, polka-dot stockings up freshly-shaven - not to mention itchy - legs. Over his boxer-briefs and under a pair of shorts.
He feels a sense of calm start to fall over him, the calm before the storm, as he rubs lavender scented lotion over his arms.
He refuses to look at himself in the mirror while he clips on a modestly stuffed bra that shouldn't be too out of proportion from his body.
He's numb as he mentally goes over the list he made for the sitter in the kitchen while he zips up a flouncy, royal blue skirt that should make up for his lack of hips.
When he's got a soft, black, turtleneck sweater that's too long in the sleeves and hides his Adam's apple on he can't avoid the mirror anymore and has to check for any awkward lumps in his faux breasts that might be showing. There aren't any but it doesn't make Izaya feel any better. He wonders, not for the first time, if Shizuo would like him better if he had breasts.
He completes the look with black, knee-high boots, some fake earring studs, and a black, shoulder length wig.
When he's sitting on the bathroom sink, carefully dragging mascara over his eyelashes and smearing on bubblegum pink lip gloss, Izaya decides that he can do this. He's going to do this.
He's observed the way different types of women walk and has to try four different ways before he decides on one he likes.
He's heard the way different types of women talk and has to try at least twenty times before he feels confident. Thankfully, his voice isn't all that deep. Not like Shizuo's.
When he opens the door and invites the babysitter inside to go over the list of things to know with them while waiting for long, fake royal blue nails to dry. She doesn't even bat an eye at his appearance. Izaya knows that he can do this.
He pulls on his black, fur-lined jacket and smiles his way out the door. He's got some cash stuffed in his bra, a knife in one boot, pepper spray in the other, a box of matches, a new name in mind, and everything there is to know about the Blue Squares in his head.
And a will for vengeance violence unlike any other.
Tonight will be fine. After all, I can't miss out on my friendly, completely normal date this Sunday.
Maybe some people are born different. No, maybe it's just me and Shizu-chan.
Maybe I'm not human either.
Finding the Blue Squares is easy, and making them think they've managed to charm Kanra is even easier.
Kanra "accidentally" stumbles into their territory while on the phone breaking up with her boyfriend loudly. She sits on the same curb as three Blue Squares, but not too close, and hangs up with a huff. Predictably, they approach her, seeing only a pretty girl who is no longer the property of a man, so they are all hoping to swoop her up as their own. All three them see her as emotionally compromised and on the verge of making a bad choice and she's more than happy to play that way.
Izaya's been staking out one boy in particular for his plan tonight who wears his gang color in the form of a bandana around his wrist. He knows every one of this boy's insecurities, which are plain to see for anyone with a pair of working eyes and a brain.
Kanra talks to the three of them, laughing at their crude humor but casting flirtatious glances at her target - making sure to compliment his insecurities during the right points of conversation. She gushes about how much more charming he is than her stupid ex-boyfriend, but frets about who is going to protect her should her ex try to come get her.
The Blue Squares, particularly the one who thinks he has a chance with Kanra, all trip over themselves to brag about the gang they're in.
Kanra gasps and had no idea they were in such an infamous group, but it explains why they're all so confident looking.
But wait a minute, Kanra heard from one of her friends that the Blue Squares picked a fight with Heiwajima Shizuo recently, didn't they? Why pick a fight with the Heiwajima?
The three boys, while leading Kanra back to their hideout for "protection," are more than happy to talk about how their gang managed to bash Izaya's Shizu-chan over the head and get a few shots in before they got beat up. They're stupidly optimistic about one day being able to beat Shizuo as a group and prove their gang is the toughest, but they're most likely posturing for a pretty face.
Apparently it's a competition among the color gangs to see who can take down the Monster of Ikebukuro. That would explain a lot.
Kanra is impressed and by this and shocked to hear that the boy with the bandana on his wrist is single after casually asking if his girlfriend visited him in the hospital. Izaya, of course, knows he is single and desperate. His two friends shoot him dirty looks.
Almost too easy for Izaya Orihara.
At the Blue Square hideout, which is a dark warehouse through a maze of alleys that is child's play to memorize, there's all the gambling and smoking a troubled teen could hope for and a toxic sense of comradery. Kanra looks around nervously at all the scary men, enticing the boy with the wrist bandanna's desire to feel more masculine and powerful. With a smirk, he wraps his arm around Kanra's shoulders and says "don't worry, I'll protect you."
The touch makes Izaya want to vomit, but Kanra smiles and leans in closer.
The boy's lead Kanra on a tour of the base, eager to show off their accomplishments to a beautiful girl and always hungry for more praise to fill their starving egos.
Izaya takes in every detail of the structure, memorizes every window, pipeline, and wire. Every piece of information has value. In particular, Izaya is interested in the door "the boss" sits behind. Apparently, he doesn't like to be disturbed when he's got a girl in there with him and Izaya knows what that really means. But he bides his time. Izaya is patient.
Kanra doesn't ask about "the boss" and instead watches the boy with the wrist bandanna, Akihito, gambles and smokes and somehow fail miserably at both. It's clear that poor Akihito is an insecure follower at best, far too emotional to be a real gangster, and that's just what Izaya is looking for.
Kanra sits on the arm of Akihito's chair and pretends not to know how to play poker so Akihito can have the pleasure of explaining it to her and later into the evening, when many of the other boys have left to pillage or turn in for the evening, Kanra spins a tighter, warmer web around Akihito and listens to him about his family life. Kanra maintains eye contact, rubs his buzzed head with her hands soothingly, and shares fake stories about her own family.
But Izaya knows better than to put it all out on the first date.
Instead, Kanra leaves Akihito dangling just sort of a kiss when her dad calls and yells at her to get home. She smiles, thanks him for being there for her after such a rough break-up, and promises him that they'll meet again. She runs out before he can offer to walk her home.
It's perfectly okay that he's planning to draw Akihito in deeper because Izaya's not seducing Akihito. Kanra is seducing Akihito. Izaya is going to spend time with his Shizu-chan on Sunday.
Izaya just hopes that Shizuo wouldn't prefer Kanra.
Shizuo can't wait to tell Kasuka the good news when he gets home.
Well, not the news about the extent of Izaya's deviancy, that's not really good news.
Shizuo can't wait to tell Kasuka that Izaya agreed to go on a date with him.
While the two of them work on dinner, chopping vegetables and frying rice, Shizuo talks about the possibilities. He stumbles over his words, can't stop blushing, and almost chops their counter in half but Kasuka is just happy to see him excited.
"I suggested the park because I didn't want to make a big deal out of it or anything, y'know?" Shizuo says over the rushing water of the sink while he washes a few dishes. "And there's a lot we can do at the park. Do you think he likes ice cream?… aw shit, it's winter. They don't sell ice cream in winter. What about hot chocolate?"
"Shizuo…" Kasuka turns off the stove and places the lid on the pan of rice to keep it hot. "Do you know for sure that Orihara-san knows it's a date?"
Shizuo freezes halfway through drying the cutting board.
"I think a walk in the park was a great idea, however maybe it wasn't obvious enough. I do not want to ruin your mood, but have you considered the possibility that Izaya will not assume it is a date because you are both male?"
"...shit." Shizuo hisses, and places down the half-dried cutting board to keep it from cracking. "I don't know… it's just… I didn't clarify because whenever I see someone, like Tom, ask a chick out he never says directly that it's meant to be a date."
"I know."
Shizuo's shoulders curl in and the anxiety that hits him from the reality of the situation hits him like a wooden bat to the back of the head. "Everyone just assumes it's a date because it's always a boy and a girl but… shit." No matter how Shizuo feels about Izaya, no matter how normal Kasuka makes him feel about it, in the public eye it's not normal.
Kasuka places a hand on Shizuo's shoulder and gently takes the old, green rag from him to finish drying the cutting board.
"Don't worry, you can be sure to clear things up on the date. I'm certain that he likes you, so it should be fine."
"Really?"
"He wouldn't go so far out of his way to get to know you if he didn't like you."
Shizuo supposes that Kasuka is right and puts his insecurities away to get out three plates for dinner.
Kasuka watches Shizuo make the three plates of food and clearly wants to say something. Shizuo is pretty sure he knows what Kasuka is about to ask, but can't bring himself to say anything. He just stays quiet as he scoops dinner onto the final plate.
"Shizuo… are you going to tell Mom?"
"It's okay if you don't want to," Kasuka says.
But she'd be happy for you. Hangs in the air between them, the words unnecessary.
That evening over dinner, Shizuo smiles as he tells his Mom about his plans for going on his first date this weekend with a person he likes very much. She can hardly contain herself, demands that she meet them as soon as possible, and starts pestering Shizuo to have them over for dinner as soon as possible.
In the warmth and joy of this moment, Shizuo thinks that it's a wonderful idea.