With his sisters pestering him, Izaya hadn't had time to feel nervous. Now, left to his thoughts in the crisp winter air as he walks, Izaya is overwhelmed with the knowledge that this is the first time he's ever gone out to spend time with a friend. A friend he wants to keep all to himself all the time.

Izaya is terrified. He'd rather face the Blue Squares again. At least that wasn't really Izaya.

This is a terrible idea. Why did I agree to this?

Each step makes Izaya retreat deeper into his own head, mentally berating himself for getting this involved and for every moment in which he may have let Shizuo accidentally see genuine emotion.

By the time he reaches the meeting place, the rusty bench with peeling blue paint next to the tree that's been carved up with countless names, Izaya's twisted himself up in so many knots can't even hear Shizuo calling his name the first two times.

"Izaya!"

Izaya jolts out of his own head, instantly unraveling.

"Geez, Shizu-chan, don't sneak up on me like that."

"I wasn't sneaking," Shizuo says with a frown. "I've been calling your name from across the street… don't tell me you got hit in the head with a bat too?"

It's a joke. Shizuo just made a joke. In a morbid way, it's pretty funny. Just what Izaya needed to laugh at right now.

"Haha, no, if that happened I'd be in the hospital. I'm not a monster like you."

Shizuo huffs and gives Izaya a playful shove in the direction of the path that's bound to leave a nice bruise on his upper arm and would've knocked Izaya over had he not been expecting it.

The two start walking together, hands jammed in their respective pockets to hide from the cold. It takes Izaya a step and a half to match Shizuo's stride. Shizuo walks slow and hunched, a classic tall-person walk.

But Izaya can only count steps in his head for so long before the silence gets awkward, prompting Izaya to wrack his brain for something to say.

He always feels like he has so much to say, but right now, he's grasping at straws for a place to start. Until he remembers something that he feels like he said ages ago.

"Next time I'll ask something just right for a hardened detective."

It has been a while since our last riddle.

"Poor Mr. Teddy was found dead in his study by Mr. Fiend. Mr. Fiend recounted his dismal discovery to the police:

'I was walking by Mr. Teddy's house when I thought I would just pop in for a visit. I noticed his study light was on and I decided to peek in from the outside to see if he was in there. I walked through the snow towards the window, and I had to wipe the condensation off the window to see inside. That is when I saw his body. I kicked in the front door to confirm my suspicions of foul play. I called the police immediately afterward.'

The officer immediately arrested Mr. Fiend for the murder of Mr. Teddy. How did he know Mr. Fiend was lying?"

There is a beat of silence between them before Shizuo barks out a warm laugh.

"I think you're losing your touch. That's an easy one." He says, surprising Izaya with how quickly he's claiming to have it figured out. It's barely been a minute.

He leaves Izaya hanging for a moment while he shakes a cigarette out of his half empty carton and puts it between his chapped lips.

"Ya can't wipe condensation off a window from the outside."

Izaya doesn't know why, but he laughs too.

"I guess nothing gets past you, Detective Heiwajima."

"Well, yeah, when you're not talking in poetry and shit riddles are easy."

Conversation comes easy after that. As usual, Izaya does most of the talking, but Shizuo does share about the latest Holmes novel he's been reading. In this mystery, there's been a poisoning - something about toxic gasses - and Izaya can't resist sharing all he knows on the subject. Chemistry isn't his favorite subject, but it certainly isn't hard, just a bit dry. Shizuo gives him a strange, sideways look that Izaya doesn't understand and isn't sure he wants to.

…

And suddenly, they've made a complete circle and are right back where they've started. The park had flown past without Izaya's notice in the company and conversation of Shizuo. When they stop at the rusty, blue bench Izaya finally realizes how long it's been and how cold it is with the increasing wind chill. He tries to contain his shivering, but Shizuo must notice it anyway.

"So… do you like hot chocolate or something?"

"I'm more of a coffee person," Izaya replies smoothly, "but I wouldn't be opposed to a hot drink if that's what you're asking."

Shizuo's grin is dazzling despite his ducked chin and hunched shoulders in the wind. "Great! There's this cheap cafe nearby my Mom used to work at nearby."

Izaya turns to walk in what he assumes is the right direction.

"The one on 19th?"

"Yeah." Shizuo stomps out his cigarette and takes a particularly large step to catch up to him.

"I sometimes bring my sisters there for hot chocolate." Izaya elaborates.

Shizuo perks up at the mention of Izaya's sisters. "Really? How are Mairu and Kururi doing?"

Izaya answers vaguely at first, but as they walk into the city he loses control of his tongue and before he knows it Izaya finds himself telling Shizuo all about his sisters. Without even realizing it, Izaya ends up in the cafe and pauses in the middle of a story about their recent trouble-making to order a small, black coffee.

Shizuo fumbles awkwardly at the register for a moment and Izaya has no idea why, but quickly forgets when Shizuo turns back to him to ask about what their teacher had said to Izaya.

"So, she wanted to meet your parents?" Shizuo prompts Izaya to pick up where he left off, leading them to a table by the front windows.

Izaya stiffens at this, kicking himself for mentioning his parents. Shizuo was bound to ask eventually, but Izaya prefers to avoid that sort of thing at all costs.

"Yes." He says, as easily as possible. "But they're on a business trip right now."

It's not a lie. It's not even that unusual. Lots of people's parents leave for business trips. Sometimes.

So why does Shizuo look so skeptical when Izaya tells him this?

"That's too bad," Shizuo grumbles. "My Mom works a lot too, not business trips or anything fancy. Just a lot of work."

Shizuo pauses, clearly, has something else he wants to say, but picks at a scuff mark on the table instead. Izaya waits for him.

"My father… he doesn't work so much. Mom probably wouldn't have to work so much if he did, y'know?"

Shizuo's expression tells Izaya that he's making quite the understatement, but Izaya supposes that he did the same - so it's fair.

"Both my parents work a lot." Izaya offers as casually as he can. "But they're totally different kinds of people too. My father works in a bubble analyzing data and my mother works with people."

Izaya can remember one thing that his mother said to him, many years ago.

"Let me tell you a secret about my success." She said to him, pausing to carefully re-apply some velvety lipstick. "It's easy to make people like you. All you have to remember is that everyone, at their core, is self-centered. Always show people that you're interested in them first, and how you can be useful to them. No one cares about you if you just sit down and start talking about yourself - they might eventually - but not right from the start."

Like Shizuo, Izaya has always felt a greater admiration for his mother than his father.

"My father gambles and drinks." Shizuo blurts out, then seems to curl up in self-consciousness.

"... Ah…" Izaya really doesn't know what to say to this. Thankfully, their order is called and Shizuo jumps out of his seat to get it before Izaya has to think about what to say in what would've been a horrifically awkward silence.

When Shizuo returns he places Izaya's coffee in front of him and his own hot chocolate down on his side of the table. Whipped cream is piled on top of it, just like his sisters'. Shizuo slides back into his seat but he looks anything but settled and it puts Izaya on edge.

The two sip their drinks in silence until Shizuo shifts forward, sitting perched on the edge of his seat, and slowly reaches his right hand toward Izaya like he's reaching out to pet an alley cat. Izaya can't move, feels paralyzed as his pounds with both of his palms and his gaze locked firmly onto the table.

A thousand years later, Shizuo's hand invades Izaya's side of the table and Izaya can't breathe. Very gently, he takes Izaya's hand in his. Izaya stares blankly at their hands - as if he's watching a movie but can feel their pulses pounding together - while Shizuo, shaking and clumsy, intertwines their fingers. Shizuo swallows audibly and takes a long, deep breath.

"Izaya, this-... this is a date, right?"

Izaya can't find his voice. He's busy watching the incomprehensible scene in front of him, anxious to find out what happens next.

"When I asked you to come out today, I meant it as a date." As Shizuo continues his meek voice gains confidence. "I just wanted to be sure you knew that I… I don't care that we're both guys."

Oh… Izaya realizes distantly, this is happening to me it's not just… happening.

And suddenly, a few more pieces slide into place. Suddenly, there's a shift and Izaya is back.

He tightens his limp hand on Shizuo's and lunges forward as much as the table will allow him, startling Shizuo with the aggressive nature of the motion, then parts his lips and breathes out a slow, almost sultry laugh that's just a few shades too dark.

"Of course I knew, Shi~zu~chan…" Izaya whispers, taking his time with each syllable in sharp contrast to the way he pounced forward. "It doesn't matter that I'm a man, you can't get me out of your head, can you?"

Shizuo goes scarlet, redder than he's ever been while enraged, and opens his mouth but can't seem to do more than make choking sounds.

Izaya's not sure why he's being so bold in public, he thinks that there's a part of him he can't hear right now that's horrified by his audacity.

It doesn't matter. Izaya inches forward, standing and leaning across the table. He's moving so slowly, and his hold on Shizuo's hand would hardly be enough to keep Shizuo anywhere he didn't want to be. So, Izaya keeps going until he's inches away from Shizuo's face.

"You can keep the jacket. Add it to your evidence collection of me or whatever you want to call your little shrine in your bedroom."

Izaya had meant it as a joke, but the expression on Shizuo's face makes him wonder just how accurate that joke really is.