This chapter, like Chapter 1, is in 1st person. POV of Joy. Thank you, and bear with mistakes I make.
[IMPORTANT: I changed a bit in Chpt. 2, Church is now Holographic and Tex turned into Carolina]
::Start::
I made myself at home, and as I didn't really pack anything for this 'trip', I'm stuck with what I have on me: a lighter and a pocket knife. I started to look around this mess Grif calls a room for a stray cigarette, hoping Grif left one un-smoked by accident, to my luck, he did. I looked around some more hidden treasures, finding a Oreo still in the wrapper. Now my inventory was a single Oreo, a cigarette, pocket knife and a lighter, how fun..
Before I shall smoke or eat, I should experiment with this cool helmet. I remember Washington saying to Maine that they should shoot Doc in the chest and check his 'audio log', so this helmet must have amazing abilities. As easily as I thought it would be, I accessed something just by thinking about it, displaying a menu like screen, semi blocking my view out of my visor. There was thousands of menus to choose from, so I guess I should start with the basics. I opened a menu that told me my status. Right now, my heart is beating normally, blood flow is normal, breathing is a bit fast, body temperature normal. Then, to the side was the status outside my body. Air is breathable, flammable, and non-lethal, also, it is twenty degrees in this room. Before I could freak out about how cold it was in here, I read it was Celsius.. so room temperature.. Celsius is so.. useless.
I fiddled with the clasp behind my helmet, figuring out how to get this thing off my head. I heard a click, then a hissing, then the helmet slid off my head. I placed it on my pillow while finding my lighter tucked away in my armour, and the cigarette was on my lap. Before I could light it, my helmet flashed, and a faint "Beep-beep!" was heard from it. It was a message, from Donut. I didn't know these things can send messages.
I shoved my helmet on, reading the message, "Wine and Cheese hour is in five minutes! Don't be late!" I giggled, Donut's daily Wine and Cheese hour. If this was a simulation, the programmers did their research.
I looked at the cigarette in my hand after putting away the helmet, is this all real? This armour is high-tech, too high-tech for the guys at the facility. How could they make this all seem so real? The pain, the reactions, the smells. When I walked in this room, I noticed the smell of Oreos, cigarette smoke and dirty clothes, and I still do. But, that is a lot of programming. The computers have to be enormous to carry all of this data, and even so, how could it all fit in my basement? How could it all get moved in my basement in only a couple of hours?
My helmet beeped again, I put it on, making sure it is sealed this time. When I put it on, I heard a suction noise, then more hissing, then read the message. "Two minutes!" I smirked, then headed outside, sneaking the cigarette and Oreo in my armour.
"There she is!" I heard Donut call, then a bunch of grumbles following it. I looked, and saw a helmet-less Donut, who had the innocent blue eyes and blonde hair that I expected him to have. Donut, sitting in a dining room area with Doc, Simmons, Grif and Sarge. Either Donut is forcing them, or Sarge uses this as a meeting time.
I found a seat, the only seat, in-between Grif and Sarge. On the table was a platter of cheese, and six Wine glasses and a bottle of Wine on the table.
I thought Cheese and Wine time would be fun, but actually.. lets just say, I wish I could have shot Donut's foot instead of my own, and instead of his foot, it would be his throat, and by throat, I mean his vocal cords. He would not stop talking, and nobody drank any Wine, no one even took their helmet off besides Donut. It was just an hour of talking and gossip and talking. It was half an hour later that Donut stopped Wine and Cheese hour, and when that happened I hobbled to my new room and laid on the bed, contemplating life.
"Congrats on making it through Wine and Cheese hour, newbie." I didn't have to look over to know it was Grif, recognising his voice.
I ignored him calling me newbie, sighing instead. "I think I'd rather shoot myself in the foot again."
Grif chuckled, "You're going to be missing a foot by the end of the week." He sat down, taking his helmet off and lighting a cigarette. "By the way, since your new, you have to cook dinner." I shrugged, it was my turn to cook dinner at home, so nothing different. Wait, I am at home.. aren't I? So.. nothings changed?.. right?
I got up and limped toward what looked like a kitchen, "And lucky you, we got a fresh shipment of supplies yesterday." I heard as I left.
The kitchen was a mess, reminded me of home. I didn't have a mom around to clean for us, it was just dad and I, and I grew up to be a slob just like him. Grabbing four, wait.. Sarge, Simmons, Doc, Donut, Grif and I.. six plates from the sink and cleaning them, then looking in the horribly organized freezer. Grabbing whatever, after the microwave instructions and leaned on the counter to wait.
"Whats for dinner?" Grif wandered in, sitting at the table.
"Mac & Cheese and Corndogs." I answered, taking out the Mac & Cheese from the microwave and sticking in the Corndogs.
I ignored Grif's comment and took a few more Corndogs out of the packages, then fetching the ketchup and mustard for those who use it, setting them on the table.
"So.." I spoke, trying to avoid an awkward silence. "What do you guys do around here?"
Grif shrugged. "We usually just sit around and talk, or protect the flag."
Last time I checked, there was almost no way to program taste in a simulation. The moment I would take a bite out of one of these Corndogs is the moment I will be able to say that this is a simulation or not. Programming emotions, colors, sounds, background, pain, scents and taste? I remember when simulations were in black and white! We make noticable progress everyday, and we can't suddenly jump from sort-of realistic simulations to the most realistic experience of all time.
I stacked the Corndogs in a pyramid form, adding up to ten in all. I set the food on the table, then looking through an awesome feature in the helmet. I sent a message to anyone in a one hundred yard or so radius, "Dinner". In only a few seconds, everybody swarmed into the kitchen.
"Its Grif's turn to cook, wasn't it?" Simmons asked as I washed a serving spoon.
"He said since I'm new I have to cook."
Simmons shouted, "Grif!" Glaring at him.
Grif sighed, "Do you really want me to cook, after what happened last time?"
There was a silent agreement as I wondered what happened last time, looking over to see a microwave in the trashcan. Everybody sat down at the table, then started taking their helmets off, I then fiddled with the clasp. When my helmet came off, the smell of an old dirty kitchen filled my nose. When I looked up, everyone was staring at me, with their own helmets off.
Grif was tan, with light stubble on his chin and his unkempt greasy dirty blonde hair reflected his lazy personality. Simmons black hair was neatly parted down the middle and had no facial hair whatsoever. Simmons almost mirrored Sarge if his hair was a buzz cut and white, Sarge looked like a typical old, gruff, crabby war veteran, with thick eyebrows and a scar on his face to match. Then there was Doc, his hair was in a lazy red ponytail while his green eyes were hiding behind thin rimmed glasses. And last, there was me. My hair was unkempt like Grif's, but full blonde, my green eyes zipped around to male to male, as they were all staring at me.
"Are we going to eat or stare at each other?" I asked, reaching to place a Corndog on my plate.
"Where did you get your hair cut?" Donut asked, scooping some Mac & Cheese onto his plate.
"I cut it myself." My hair wasn't the best looking in the room, it looked almost exactly like Grif's hair but a little less greasy and a bit longer.
I looked down at my plate, elbow on the table and propping my head up with my fist, lazily sticking the Mac & Cheese in my mouth. My eyes widen, this was real. It tasted like the Mac & Cheese dad and I eat every Wednesday. I tried the Corndog, tasted like every other Corndog I have ever had. This is real, I am in the Red vs Blue universe.
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How the fuck am I going to get home?
Please excuse any spelling errors I am un aware of, criticism is wanted but not needed. Thank you for reading Chapter 3.
I do not own the characters mentioned in this Chapter. I only own my character, Joy.