Disclaimer: I own none of these characters; all belong to Shonda Rhimes. Any resemblance to the show is simply borrowed.
A/N: Hey guys! I know it might seem to be going a little slow, but I felt like it was necessary. I didn't want Callie to cheat on Owen, but I also wanted her to realize her attraction to Arizona prior to the divorce stuff. Kind of challenging, but I think I'm through the brink of it. I'll try to get chapters up weekly, but I am stupidly participating in NaNoWriMo this month (National Novel Writing Month)...like a psycho. On top of that, I have all my classes to worry about. So, I can't make promises, but I'm going to try my best. Alright, enough of me. Enjoy!
Chapter 5:
Callie went to bed that night right away, not in the mood to talk to Owen about anything at that moment. He would sleep on the couch, as it had usually been happening lately. As Callie's head hit the pillows, she couldn't contain the small smile that grazed her features thinking about Arizona. The woman was miraculous. She had the power to change Callie's mood in an instant. She seemed to just have this hold on her. After talking and watching the sunset, Arizona had hopped up off the bench, startling Callie.
"Uh, what are you doing?" Callie chuckled a little as Arizona fumbled with her phone. She had an adorable crinkle in her forehead and a look of such concentration Callie thought she would melt right there on the spot.
"I'm trying to work this stupid phone," Arizona mumbled before her face lit up with victory, "Ha! I got it!" Music started to softly play out of the speakers from her phone.
"And what exactly are we doing?" Callie asked watching Arizona start to sway her hips slightly.
"Dancing it out, Calliope. Always helps," Arizona said turning up the music.
Callie shook her head and smiled slightly, just watching Arizona move with her eyes closed.
When Arizona opened her eyes, they connected with Callie's and her legs suddenly felt mushy. She gained her composure and said, "Come on, Calliope, it really helps, trust me."
"I'm enjoying myself just fine over here, thank you," Callie stated a matter-of-factually.
"Are you really going to make me dance by myself?" Arizona pouted and Callie thought it was probably top five one of the cutest things she'd ever seen.
She sighed and shook her head slightly. She couldn't say no to this woman. She hopped off the bench just as the chorus built up and joined Arizona. "Wait...and here. It. Comes."
Little pieces of me, you can have them for free...
The two girls danced wildly, not caring about the world around them, laughing and simply enjoying themselves. They shimmied their shoulders and swayed their hips, not thinking about anything other than this moment. Once again, they were content to just be.
The thought of dancing with Arizona was the last thing on Callie's mind before she drifted off into an unexpectedly peaceful slumber.
Callie knew she had to talk to Owen. Now that she had time to rest and sleep, she knew she might as well rip the band-aid as soon as possible. Owen seemed to think the same thing, for he was waiting for Callie, sitting on the couch with his head down. They smiled sadly at each other before Callie took a seat next to him.
"I don't...I don't know what to say, Cal," Owen said sighing and shaking his head, "I'm so sorry I hurt you. I never wanted to do that."
Callie nodded her head slowly and said, "I know. But it's not just your fault. I know we've both been hurting for a while now."
"I could've tried harder," he said quietly.
"Yeah, you could have tried harder," Callie whispered sadly.
A moment passed before Owen continued, "We're not coming back from this, are we?"
Callie shook her head as tears threatened to fall again, "No, I don't think so, Owen. But I think we...haven't been a 'we' in a while now."
Owen nodded in agreement, "If it helps, I really really wanted it to work. For the kids...for you. For us."
"Me too. But we can't force something that just...isn't. And I wanted it to work for the kids too, but what are we teaching them if we stay together in a dysfunctional marriage?"
"You're right, I know you are," he paused before debating his next question, "Do you still love me, Callie?"
Callie swallowed before saying, "Of course. I'll always love you, Owen. You're still my best friend...I'm just not in love with you anymore."
"Were you ever really in love with me?"
Callie choked back tears and said, "I think I wanted to be. But...I don't know. We married so fast. And I thought I could convince myself to be..."
"It's okay...me too," Owen said reluctantly.
Callie wiped her eyes as they smiled slightly at each other.
"I can't believe it's actually...ending," she sighed.
"It doesn't feel real yet," Owen responded, "...can we still be friends, Callie? Can this end amicably for the kids? For me? I still need you in my life."
Callie smiled at his honesty, "Of course, Owen. We're friends. I still love you."
"I love you too."
The following week wasn't the easiest, as to be expected. Owen moved his stuff out and stayed with his parents for the time being. The twins didn't understand why mommy and daddy weren't home with each other anymore. Allegra didn't fully understand and it would take time for her to get used to. It was going to take time for all of them.
"Wait, you're getting divorced?" Addison asked in shock. Her, Callie, and Arizona were all eating lunch at the hospital.
"Yep," Callie replied taking a bite of her salad.
"But I thought...I don't know I thought things were getting better with you guys."
"Well, they weren't. I lied...I wanted them to get better," Callie said not making eye contact, "Owen cheated and that was the final straw."
"I'm sorry," Addison said sadly, "I didn't even realize what with everything going on in my life and...being pregnant. I'm sorry."
Callie waved her off, "Don't be. I'm fine."
"She's fine," Arizona said nodding her head.
"Turns out it's the best thing that could've happened to me," Callie said chuckling slightly and glancing at Arizona.
"No kidding..." Addison said still in shock.
"Yeah, I finally have freedom. You know, and a real shot at love."
"Well, I for one, think drinks are in order," Arizona said piping in.
Callie smiled. "Yeah, we still haven't gotten those drinks since last time and-"
"We all know how that turned out," Arizona said cutting her off as they both started laughing.
"Where should we go? I don't want to do the usual tonight..." Callie trailed off.
"I say we mix it up. Let's go to a karaoke bar!" Arizona said excitedly. The two of them were completely consumed with each other, not even looking at Addison, but rather one another, their faces only a mere foot apart.
"I think that sounds fantastic," Addison interjected. Both Callie and Arizona's head snapped up, forgetting they had company.
"Yeah, that'd be fun!" Arizona said getting up, "I'll text you later." Arizona tried to push down what she was feeling, but she couldn't help but get butterflies at the prospect of another night with Callie. No interruptions. She was truly sorry for Callie and Owen about the divorce...yet she couldn't contain the ever present excitement as well, which made her feel guilty. Callie is still straight, Arizona. She still has kids to worry about. She's just a friend. Arizona spent countless times telling herself the same phrase over and over again in hopes that it would stick, but no such luck. She knew she was falling fast for Callie. And falling hard.
At the table Addison studied Callie for a minute, who still had a grin plastered to her face as she ate her salad.
"She's perky!" Addison said causing Callie to jump slightly out of her reverie.
Callie chuckled and said, "Yeah, she is. She's great. She's been really helpful throughout this whole Owen thing, too."
"I bet she has," Addison said lowering her voice.
Callie looked at Addison, confused as to where she was going with this.
"Callie, are you speaking the...vagina monologues now?"
Callie started choking on her drink and took a moment to regain composure. "Um...what?"
"Callie..." Addison said knowingly as smirked.
"What the hell are you talking about, Addy? I think you're going crazy," Callie said chuckling.
"I think it's great. Arizona, I really do like her. She seems fun, upbeat, the opposite of you."
Callie swatted at Addison's arm and said, "What? Are you implying that...that Arizona and I...that we're-we're a couple?"
"Yeah. Because you seem like a couple," Addison said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"That's insane! That's crazy, is-is what it is," Callie said stuttering slightly as she began laughing far too much for the situation to permit.
Addison simply stared at her as Callie's laughter died down. Callie started fidgeting and playing with her salad, unable to meet Addison's eyes.
"Callie..." Addison tried again, more soothingly this time.
Callie jumped up and motioned for Addison to follow her through the cafeteria. She opened the door to an on-call room and quickly shut it behind them. She began pacing back and forth as Addison sat down on the bed.
"Callie, I-"
"No, you shush," Callie said pointedly, "I'm processing."
"I didn't mean to imply that-"
"That I like her? Because I do!" Callie said throwing her hands up, "She's great. She's funny, smart, beautiful, kind...she's amazing!" Callie was almost yelling at this point.
"Callie, I think you're freaking out a little bit."
"Ya think?" Callie exclaimed, "This is the first time I'm actually admitting out loud that I have a crush on the girl." Callie and Addison just stared at each other as Callie slowly breathed, attempting to calm down. She sad on the bed next to Addison and put her hands on her forehead with her elbows on her knees.
"Look," Addison said gently rubbing Callie's back, "It happens. Girls get girl crushes...but I'm guessing that it's more than that."
Callie looked up at Addison almost sadly and nodded. She took a breath before saying, "I can't believe I'm actually telling you this...but yes. It's more than that. I just...I can't stop looking at her. And thinking about her. And this was happening way before Owen and I decided to get divorced. Ever since that case with the kid. I just wouldn't admit it then, even to myself."
"You're not just horny?" Addison joked, lightening the mood.
Callie chuckled and said, "Well, yes, I am. But it's not just that. I really like her. And I don't know what to do."
"Because she's...a she?" Addison questioned.
"Because she's a she, yeah...but more because...she's Arizona. She's my best friend. And I don't know what I'd do without her, so yeah, I'm freaking out a little bit. I can't seem to keep my hormones in check."
"Have you talked to her about all this?"
"Oh, yeah, Addison, that would go well," Callie said lightly, "Hey, Arizona I know I just got divorced from a man, but I want you to know, I have a huge crush on you, even though you're a girl. Never been attracted to a girl before, but hey, you just do it for me."
Addison barked with laughter at Callie's brazenness. "Okay, so maybe don't tell her like that."
"Ugh, I just don't know what to do. Why did I have to go and get a stupid crush? Ughhh."
"Okay, okay, look. You never know. She might feel the same way. From the way you two interacted...it didn't seem one-sided at all, my friend."
Callie groaned in frustration, "There's no way, Addy. She would have said something at this point. She's not even gay."
"Oh, how do you know? Have you asked her? Because I'm sure there's no way she would have told you she had feelings for you in the middle of your divorce."
"Addy, I think you've got the signs all wrong."
"I don't think I do."
"You know, I tried to tell myself the same thing: that she could possibly feel the same way, that we had a connection, that she felt the spark every time we touched. But then I realized, it's all in my head. I'm creating some fictional fantasy because I want to believe it."
"I think, you'll never know until you try." They sat in silence for a few moments before Addison cleared her throat and said, "So...when you say thinking about her..."
"I mean I'm constantly thinking about her. What she's doing, how she is, if she's busy..."
"Nothing sexual?"
Callie's face immediately turned bright red and she struggled to speak. She had been blocking out any possibility of such fantasies out of fear and embarrassment. Truth was, she couldn't stop thinking about that day in the on-call room and what it would have been like to just throw caution into the wind and kiss Arizona. What her lips would feel like against hers. How her hands would tangle in her hair. How their bodies would move together as one. How she would taste. She realized she hadn't said anything to Addy. "What? Um..."
"Ha! I knew it!" Addison said pumping her fist in the air.
"Shut it, Addy," Callie said swatting at her, "It's nothing, okay? It's just...ever since I freaking pinned her to the bed..."
"You pinned her to the bed?" Addison said amused.
"Yeah, pinned the poor girl to the bed. Jesus, why can't I keep my emotions in check."
"Did she try to get up?"
"What?" Callie asked chuckling a little.
"Did she try to get up? When you pinned her to the bed?"
"I mean...no, but I don't see how she could have gotten up. I really had her pinned there. We were like, this close." Callie proceeded to get in Addison's face and Addison couldn't contain the fit of giggles that consumed her body.
"This is not funny," Callie said half-seriously, "I'm having stupid horny sexual fantasies about a girl, and I don't even know what I would do if...I've obviously never..."
"Taken a trip downtown to the motherland?"
"Jesus, Addy...could you be any cruder?"
"Uh, yes, I could. You've never licked your way-"
"Okay!" Callie exclaimed stopping her friend, "I got it. I'm inexperienced. Yes. Not helping my freak out, here."
"Mark could teach you a few things," Addison said wiggling her eyebrows.
"Yeah, then I'll end up pregnant with his kid too," Callie said laughing.
Addison swatted Callie's arm lightly, "Fair enough. I deserved that."
"Well, I gotta go. I'll probably be freaking out about tonight all day," Callie said wiping her hands on her thighs and getting up.
Before Callie could leave the room Addison called out, "Hey, Callie!"
"Yeah?"
"Well, if it does work out...I think it's great. I really do," Addison said smiling slightly.
Callie's own mega-watt grin came out in full force as she said, "Yeah...me too."
Okay, next chapter will probably be more satisfying than this one. But I felt that this chapter was necessary for her to work through all that. Read, review, do what you do(: