Tears stained her face once again. She never forgot that night. She never forgot how she felt. Instead, she buried it with vodka and heroine. Two of the only things that made her forget. As temporary as the effects were, she craved the numbness.

She sat up on bed and looked out her window. She saw people holding hands and smiling. She wanted that more than anything in the world. She smiled imagining herself in their shoes. Stuck in a trance watching them talk and eat. Then someone caught her eye. He was sat alone at the cafe across the road. He was reading something on his phone. She watched intently as he sat sipping his drink, exchanging glances with his phone and the road beside the hostel.

"I wonder who he's waiting for" she sighed. "I bet she's beautiful"

Beca hopped off her bed and into the bathroom. She put on her shower playlist and turned the shower on, the warmth of the water soothing her. The only time she felt care free was in the shower. She sang her songs and embraced her voice. It was the only thing she liked about herself.

" This is my fight song, take back my life song, prove I'm alright song, my power's turned on, starting right now I'll be strong..."

As she sung she felt her heart sing with her. Her shadow seemed to smile at her too.

Singing was one of her hidden talents. She never told anyone. She was worried if she sung for anyone she'd be vulnerable again and she didn't want that. Not right now anyway. Not when she couldn't let herself heal.

She turned off the water and let the excess drip off her hair. She wrapped herself in a towel and walked to her closet.

'I need new clothes' she thought to herself.

She picked up some black leggings and a long shirt dress. Then pulled on a pair of ankle socks and knock off military boots.

Once she was satisfied, she dried her hair and styled in into soft waves. She lined her lips in a deep red and put on her usual cateye eyeliner and Mascara. Picked up her handbag and left. Locking her door behind her.

Beca didn't have a lot of money anymore, any she did have, she spent quickly to avoid any temptation she may have later. So she shopped. Food store after food store, clothes store after clothes store. After two hours she had twelve bags dangling off her arms.

She was exhausted.

She sat in the corner of the food court nibbling on the boneless banquet she bought from KFC for her Dinner and day dreaming to herself...

- "I want to thank you all for coming tonight, getting this AMA means a lot to me.I am so grateful for this opportunity and to all those that helped make it possible, to my mum and dad and to..."-

"Excuse me miss, are you finished with this table?"

Beca jolted slightly as she tried to get her bearings. Food court. She remembered.

"Oh erm yeah, I'm done, lemme just get my bags... Ermm... Yes sorry... If I could just get past... Yes... Thank you"

With that Beca wandered home. When she got to the Hostel she chucked all her stuff on her bed and turned on her tv. She put on the best sounding music channel and turned to her bags. Emptying the content of each on her bed.

"Chocolate, Chocolate, Bra, Undies, more chocolate, leggings, jeggings, a dress? Hmmm. More chocolate, crisps... Oh actual food and socks... Not too bad this time..."

Beca found a bit of joy seeing that for the first time there was nothing liquor based in her shopping. She smiled to herself. One small victory. She thought to herself. One step at a time.