Chapter 4
Sherlock sat on his chair, fingers steepled under his chin. It was a puzzle. Simply a puzzle. He had to figure it out. Perhaps treat it like a case. No. Cases end. Laura, for better or worse, was going to be a part of his life for the rest of his.
At least he didn't have to deal with some of the issues he read was usual for children this age. She didn't throw tantrums. She took her bath without a single complaint.
She asked for nothing.
What did Sherlock have to give her if she did?
Sure, he gave her a home. He was in the process, with Mycroft's help, giving her is name. Laura Beth Huntsworth Holmes. Lucky thing she is so smart. He'd hate to have her learn her letters writing all that.
When she had made the comment about preferring truth to fairy tales, there was something in her voice that bothered him. Something not quite right.
All of a sudden a terrified scream sounded in the flat, coming from his/Laura's room.
Sherlock raced into the room only to find the child bowed in an arch on the bed, still clearly asleep.
"NO! Please! It hurts! Not again! I promise I will be good! I promise! " She cried out. Sherlock felt a surge of anger deeper than he had ever felt before. Who did this to her?
"Laura, darling. Wake up... " Sherlock took her shoulders in his hands and shook her gently.
She woke quickly and simply stared at him, eyes unseeing.
"You were having a bad dream. " He said as calmly as he could, his insides boiling.
"Im sorry if I woke you. I'll try not to again, I promise. "
She was apologizing to him? People couldn't control their dreams.
"Not to worry. I don't sleep much. Do you feel like...talking about it? "
"No. "
"Laura, I am told it often...helps. "
"It won't. "
"I have to ask you, and don't be afraid to tell me the truth. "
Laura finally looked up at him, her blue eyes wet, and nodded.
'Did anyone ever... touch you...privately...in a bad way? "
Laura shook her head.
He looked deeply into her eyes an nodded, some of the anger ebbing. He saw nothing but honesty in thier depths. But there was pain. Of that he was certain. He decided he would have to poke around further, and over time. Give her time.
"Well now, you've had quite a start. Can you go back to sleep? "
Laura shook her head.
Very well... telly? Would you like me to read you a story? Or read one yourself? "
Again, she shook her head.
"Can I please just sit with you? I promise I won't make a peep and disturb you. I promise. " She asked with such pleading in her eyes.
"I suppose. But you will be bored. "
"That's alright. I'll be fine. Just do what you normally would. "
Sherlock nodded and helped the girl off his bed. He started down the hallway when he felt a small hand burrow itself into his large one. A small bit of instinct hit him, and amazingly found himself clutching it lightly in a reassuring squeeze.
Laura sat down on the sofa and just watched Sherlock pace.
Finally, he turned to her.
"Laura, what were you dreaming about? "
"I don't know. I get images in my head. But I don't remember. Then, sometimes, I hear a voice. I think it is my mother's voice. But I don't see a face. I just hear words. I think she is trying to tell me I will be safe one day. "
"Did she? Well, as I am sure you know, you were able to hear her voice from the womb. Perhaps... "
"I don't want to think about her. "
"I see. Did your aunt...hurt you? "
"I didn't see her much, unless I was troublesome. "
"What do you mean? "
"She only spoke to me to tell me what to do or to punish me when I acted up. "
"Punish you, how? Did she hit you? "
"Sometimes. Usually, I just got locked in my room. I'd get so hungry. Then my uncle would come by and tell me I was a princess in a fairy tale and some day I would be rescued. He said I was smarter than all the other girls, and so I would do great things. He lied. There are no fairy tales. "
"Wait... uncle? I thought you had no other relatives. "
"I think he was Aunt Lucy's boyfriend. There were several in and out. I had to call them all uncle. But this one was the nicest to me. He always made Aunt Lucy let me out of the room. "
"And how long would you be in there? "
"I don't know. "
"I see. " Sherlock's anger grew again.
"When was the last time you saw this uncle? "
"Long time ago. He said he would take me away from there, and to a far away land fit for princess's like me. But he didn't come. He never came again. Aunt Lucy said he died. "
"I'm sorry. Sorry the only person kind to you was taken. Im sorry I didn't know about you. "
"How could you? " Laura said, shrugging, but a tremor in her voice.
"Please, father, just do what you would normally do. I don't want to talk anymore. If...if that's ok? "
"Of course " Sherlock said quietly.
He remembered something about lullabies, and with a spark of inspiration, picked up his violin. But he didn't know any children's tunes. Instead, he opted for his favorite Bach piece, slow and even. He played as Laura watched him carefully. As he played his face altered just so. Almost as if it made him feel something. Storing it away in her mind, she listened intently.
When the piece ended he looked away from the window to his daughter. She was watching him with a look of such concentration. He put the violin down carefully and sat down next to her, putting an uneasy arm around her. She unconsciously put her small head in the crook of his arm.
"You will be safe from now on, Laura. I promise. No one will hurt you here. "
" I know. I feel safe. "
Sherlock felt a lump in his throat. He took his finger and lifted her chin to look keenly into her eyes.
"Do you? Really? "
Laura's eyes wet again, but no tears fell. But her lower lip did tremble.
"Yes. I... I know you don't love me. But I know you will protect me. "
Sherlock felt something push past the guilt and he didn't like it one bit.
Shame.
He felt Laura sag against him, her breathing even and knew she was asleep. She lifted her carefully and placed her on his lap with her head against his chest and stroked her back as he'd seen John do.
What did he know about love? Could he ever love this child. His child? God knew he should. Something told him she knew nothing of it either. Whether that was genetic or atmospheric of her upbringing thus far, he didn't know.
He did know, that she deserved to FEEL loved. More than that, feel WANTED. He recalled what she told him. Apparently, she felt she had to be on her best behavior to get anything positive out of people. This "uncle" told her she was a princess who would be rescued one day. Princess's in fairy tales were held by dragons until someone slayed them and took them away. To be safe. Taken away. She had that. But rescued? By Sherlock?
But was Sherlock the hero...or the dragon?
Who did HE want to be?
The next day, he got her off to school, and called Mycroft.
"Brother dear, I have a favor to ask? "
"Is it legal? "
"Be serious. I am having difficulty with this, father thing. "
"You? I cannot fathom that. " Mycroft responded deadpan.
"My...daughter... is not a normal child. "
"Obviously. "
"But I feel she should try to be. Can we go somewhere and talk? "
Mycroft met him at a near bye park. They sat in silence for a long while, watching the children play. Observing.
"Honestly Sherlock, I know as little as you on being a father. "
"Yes, but she is in our lives, so ... " Sherlock felt a sudden rush of sadness, watching the children.
" Laura doesn't laugh. I've only seen her smile once. I need to give her some sense of normalcy. Encourage her intelligence, but still give her a chance to be a child. I want to hear her laugh, Mycroft. I don't know why I do. But I ... "
"Sentiment, Sherlock... "
"Perhaps lack of emotion is good for many things, Mycroft... "
"But not in handling a child? "
"Yes. "
Sherlock went about telling Mycroft about his talk with Laura and the nightmare. For a split second, he saw Mycroft purse his lips and an angry glint held in his eyes.
They didn't speak of it. They didn't need to.
They spent the rest of the day shopping. He called Mrs Hudson to ask her to pick up Laura as he was going to be late.
When Sherlock came home, he walked past Mrs. Hudson's rooms hearing music. It was piano. He felt a small bit of guilt, as she was playing the same tune he had been last night. He must have woken the woman up and now the song was stuck in her head.
He walked into the flat to find it childless. Good.
He set about to work before going below to fetch Laura.
When he opened the door, he couldn't believe his eyes
Sitting on the bench beside Mrs. Hudson, was Laura. Her small fingers nimbly going over the keys. SHE was the one playing the tune.
She stopped when she felt his gaze on her.
"When did you learn piano? " He said, a not too forced smile on his face.
"Today. " She blinked at him
"She's a right bright one, our Laura! " Mrs Hudson smiled down at her. " She just played at the keys for a while, learning how each one sounded, then...just started playing! She's got a real ear, this one!"
Even Sherlock was impressed.
Laura got up and walked over to him, stretching her neck to look up at him. He picked her up and placed her on his hip to make it easier.
"Are you pleased, father? "
"Very much. You learned that listening to me? "
"Yes. I wanted to do something nice for you. "
"Well, you certainly did. That is my favorite piece. Shall I teach you more? "
For the second time in his life, he saw her smile.
"Yes please! If it isn't any trouble. "
Sherlock smiled at her.
After supper, which they both ate, Sherlock went over in his head what the next bit of music he would teach her would be. Last nights piece would usually lull a child.
"Laura, why did you learn that piece? "
"I told you. I wanted to do something nice. I like what the sound did to your face. It made you happy. Made you not seem so cold. "
Sherlock froze at that, but shook it off quickly.
"I won't send you away, you know. "
"I know. "
"No matter if you are good or bad. "
"Ok. "
She wasn't looking at him.
After she went to bed, a new tune buzzing in her mind, Sherlock sat down and texted John.
Thank you
SH
It was responded to immediately
For what?
JW
For this time. I did need it. By the by, Laura plays piano.
SH
Since when?
JW
Since today.
SH
Will wonders never cease? Look Sherlock, I need to talk to you.
JW
What about?
SH
Im going to be a coward and tell you this in text. Im moving in with Mary. Laura needs a proper room. I will help as usual. Whenever you need it. TRULY need it Sherlock.
JW
It took a long while for Sherlock to reply
Do as you must.
SH