Dear lazy ass.

Hi. How are you?

The clouds are nice today. Well, I'm not sure what constitutes as nice by your standards, but they look like clouds, so I guess that's as far as my limited expertise in this topic will allow me to judge.

I saw Ino this morning, she's holding up well. Her boyfriend (or girlfriend?) Sai is quite nice, I met them briefly. It just kinda irks me that they're so... Pretty? I can't tell what gender they are. But yeah, they're good at drawing too I suppose.

Chouji dropped by with a cake this afternoon. He's so lovely, I'm glad to have made friends through you, really.

I guess I'm kind of tiptoeing around why I'm writing to you (again).

I should probably say it, I've always been good at being blunt about things, but now I'm... Dull. I'm not blunt, or sharp. I can't even sugarcoat goddammit.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm more than just a little broken.

And there are three words which I've never spoken in my life, and I never plan on saying them.

So I'll write them and give them to you, but if you tell anyone, I swear I'll... Kill... You.

Well, I can't really do that, can I?

That would require reanimation, and I don't know about you, but watching Fullmetal Alchemist has definitely convinced me that that would not be a good idea at all.

I'm getting sidetracked again.

Fuck it.

Shikamaru, I miss you.

I miss you goddammit, and I know that bottling up my feelings won't bring you back, but neither would crying.

I'm so fucking torn, I don't know what to do about it.

Nothing I do helps, and I hate feeling this way.

It's terrible.

Have you ever had those moments when you look up and it almost seems as though someone set fire to the horizon, and the flames are coming toward you, but when you turn to run, it's like the edge of the world is at your heels?

Probably not.

But that's the best way I can explain it.

I don't know if I want to fall into the pits of tearful depression or let my bottled-up feelings burn me.

I guess I just need to find a good parachute.

Or maybe a fire extinguisher.

Either way, I'm not doing great.

In fact, I'm not doing well at all. I would never say this out loud in person to anyone, but you're not just anyone.

I'd say I should wrap this up.

I know I've been writing a lot but I guess these letters have kind of served as my parachutes.

Well, I'm gonna go. I know you said to move on, but please be patient.

Please wait for me to be ready to let you go, because this is the hardest thing I've ever been forced to do.

At one point, I wished that I'd never met you, but you are the most amazing thing I ever had the misfortune to befriend, and forgetting about you would be... To put it simply, I'd rather die than forget you.

Us.

I broke Tayuya's nose once. I was sent to Asuma and he asked me what I'd do if I could go back in time.

I said that wish I hadn't hurt her, but in my head I was thinking that if I could do it again, I'd land another damn punch.

The same logic applies to us.

If I could do is again, I'd make more mistakes. I wouldn't be so scared of falling.

I wish I'd acted sooner.

But it's too late now.

I have training to go to. The new admin is nice, I don't know her very well though.

I would say that this is the last letter I'm writing for you, but that would probably not be the truth, so instead... I'll just say see you later.

See you later Shikamaru, I'll get over you, I swear, but for now, you'll just have to wait.

I'm not that easy to get rid of.

See ya,

Your super awesome hot girlfriend.

P.S. You were right, seaweed isn't a plant, but I've thought of another fact for you: Sabaku no Temari only cried once in her life, but you weren't there to see it.

P.P.S. She doesn't resent you for it, but you should have been there to comfort her.

P.P.P.S. The previous post-script was a weak attempt at humour.

P.P.P.P.S. I'll write again tomorrow.

P.P.P.P.P.S. Please wait just a little longer for me.

-Tem

A/N. Okie, a few of you guys asked for an epilogue, and this is honestly the best I can do for y'all at this moment in time. Again, thank you for all the support ;)

~Lee