Chapter12
Elliot thought carefully before he talked. "Liv, Dani was my partner for only a few months, when you weren't there."
"But it was long enough for you to …. to…. To become close to her and …and….."
"Kiss her," he said and Olivia nodded.
"Yeah…. I guess those few months were long enough for you to get pretty close to her."
"I'm not going to lie, we did become close," he told her. "Just like you did with Porter when you worked with him over that period."
Olivia looked at him when he mentioned Porter.
""Are you going to tell me you never kissed him. I saw what you were like with him every time he came to the station and how devastated you were the last time you saw him."
Olivia knew she couldn't argue with what he had said.
"But Dani….she wasn't my partner, she was just temporary. She wasn't you Liv. All I wanted was you back as my partner."
"That wasn't how it looked when I came back, I saw you with her El. You were comfortable, laughing and joking with her. We hadn't done that for so long. It was hard to see."
"It wasn't like that at first. I made her life hell. But the longer it went on and you hadn't returned I realised I had to just accept she was my partner until you came back and to get on with it."
"And kissing her by your car was your way of getting on with it?"
Elliot narrowed his eyes. "How did you know about that kiss?" he asked her. "We never told anyone, because it meant nothing, it was a mistake that just happened, and we both agreed to forget about it."
"I went to meet Casey. I had just pulled up when you came out with her. I was going to get out the car and call to you when you pulled her to you and kissed her. When you got into your jeep and drove off I just went home."
"Liv, it was just the one kiss it meant nothing."
Olivia shrugged. "It's nothing to do with me anyway," she said. "I shouldn't have even mentioned it; it's none of my business. Just forget it."
"So why you getting so worked up over it."
"I don't know….. Maybe the same reason you used to get all worked up whenever Porter was about or any men come to that."
"So you were jealous?" he asked her smirking. Olivia looked at his face and couldn't help but smile at his smug look.
"Yeah I guess I was, there you happy now. You were my Partner, not hers. It was just hard to see you with someone else."
"I don't know why I kissed her Liv. I… I just needed something, someone. I was lonely. And the person I would have normally spent time with had disappeared."
"So if you were getting on with her so well, why did she leave?"
"It was after a tough case, a couple of days after the kiss. It hit her quite hard, she always found the unit tough and difficult with the victims. She said the unit wasn't for her and she was going to leave, unless I wanted her to stay. ….. She wanted to me to ask her to stay."
"And you didn't?"
Elliot shook his head. "I couldn't. Asking her to stay would have meant I had given up on our partnership and I wasn't ready to do that. The only person I wanted as a partner was you Liv. I didn't want anyone else."
"That's why I found it so hard when you left," she told him. "I don't work well with other people, I work well with you."
"But I couldn't stay, not after what I had done."
"El, you didn't do anything wrong. You were cleared of the shooting. Everyone said it was a good shot and they would have done the same thing if they were you."
"No they wouldn't Liv."
"How can you say that? She was firing at everyone. She had to be stopped."
"But that's just it Liv, I wasn't bothered about everyone else. I shot Jenna because I couldn't bear the thought of her next shot hitting you. I couldn't lose you. In those seconds before I took the shot images of you lying on the bus station floor after Gitano slashed at your throat raced through my head and when I thought Porter had hit you instead…. I couldn't go through that again," he told her keeping eye contact with her as he spoke. He needed to tell her how he had been feeling. She had to know the truth. "In here," he said tapping the side of his head. "I saw Jenna shoot you; I saw your body lying on the floor blood seeping from your chest…. I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't watch you…."
"El…." She said tears in her eyes.
"I shot Jenna because I was scared of you losing you Liv that was the only reason. I never thought about anyone else when I took that shot. I just….. I just couldn't lose you. I knew I couldn't come back to work after it, because I knew if anyone threatened to take you from me I wouldn't hesitate…..I…I would kill them, without a second thought," he told her tears running down his face. "I would kill anyone who tried to hurt you and take you from me."
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"Munch….. Hey John," said Fin looking away from the screen he was watching. "Everything okay. You have been real quiet over there?"
"Erm, yeah I'm good," he said, his eyes never leaving the screen as he listened to Elliot and Olivia talking.
"Jesus John," said Fin. "Give them a break will you."
"I can't," he told him. "I'm hooked. This thing between them is so much more than just sex and physical attraction. It is so much deeper than that, it's actually quite beautiful."
Fin looked at him confused. "That does it," he said pushing Munch out of the way and taking the head phones off his head. "I'm cutting you off, go take a walk or something. You are acting more weird than normal," he said as Munch stood up but carried on watching the screen as Elliot and Olivia lay facing each other on the bed. Suddenly Olivia threw the blankets off her and stood up. She grabbed a hoody from the chair beside the bed and pulled it on as she left the room.
"Where the hell is she going?"Fin asked out loud as he followed Olivia as she walked downstairs along the corridor and out the back door. "Why is she going outside at three in the morning?"
"Because Stabler just told her exactly why he left Special Victims," said Munch his eyes going back to Elliot who climbed out of bed and pulled on a pair of sweatpants before following Olivia downstairs.
"What did he tell her?" asked Fin switching to the camera in the living room making sure Mark was still on the couch.
"That he loved her."
"What! He actually said that."
"Well maybe not those exact words, but it was what he meant," he smiled.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"Liv," he said walking towards to her across the grass.
She held up her hand to stop him.
"I'm sorry I didn't mean it to come out like that," he said walking slowly towards her.
"So how did you mean to say it?"
Elliot shrugged. "I don't know," he said his voice almost a whisper. "I was hoping to take you out for a meal, explain it all to you."
"I can't believe you are blaming me for all of this."
"What….. No…..Liv," he said stepping towards her. "None of this is your fault. It's all down to me. Everything I done was my decision and my decision alone. It just took me a while to realise this and hours sitting with George Haung getting in my head. Leaving Kathy, leaving the unit, ending our Partnership, was all down to me."
"But you shot her to protect me," she said her voice just above a whisper.
"And I would do it again if I had to, that's why I had to leave," he reached out and took hold of her hand. "Remember after the Gitano case when we were in the hospital hallway. I told you we couldn't choose each other over the job again, otherwise we couldn't be partners anymore, do you remember that."
"Of course I do," she sniffed. "That was why I left."
"Well I did choose you again Liv. After everything I said in that hall way and nearly losing you then. I chose you over everyone else. I didn't care about anything or anyone. Not Fin, Munch, the perps in the cell, my wife… No one, only you."
"So if you care that much, why leave. Why not stay as my Partner, carry on protecting me. Why shut me out and leave without a word."
"You know why Liv," he said putting two fingers under her chin and lifting her head. "It's the same reason why I finally left Kathy, the same reason why I got as jealous as hell when Porter showed up. And the same reason why you couldn't take that shot in the warehouse."
"El," she said as tears ran down her face and Elliot used his thumbs to wipe them away.
"Even if the shooting hadn't happened, I would have had to have left Liv."
She sniffed and looked up at him as he gently cupped her cheek.
"I had fallen in love with my Partner."
There we go he has finally said it and come clean. But you know its not going to be as easy as all that lol.