Ben sat meditating in the cave systems oftenly and for hours at a time, he had given up trying to force his way into the majority of the dark side, the dark side flowed all around him, but he still had the lightside deep inside his heart. The mixing of the two sides in his soul began to feel grey, a grey area like his life here at this base. His connection with Rey. she was still floating around this place like a ghost. A hollowed out husk of her former self. Everytime he tried to connect with her through the bond he only felt burning emotions, when he tried to see her soul when standing in front of her, he could only see a shadowed form of who she had been before the battle. Light no longer shined around her edges when he focused on the force around her being. It left him with a pulsing headache and clenched teeth, but he could see people physical manifestations of the force they carried if he tried just hard enough.
When he was younger Lukes had been a blue that swirled like the ocean on a peaceful day, his mother's leia's had been a dark green that resembled flowering thorn bushes. Her death sat heavy on his soul, snoke had been controlling his movements. He knew he wouldn't strike her down if he was in control. The way snoke had just taken over, like the controls of a starfighter. He had felt so wrong afterwards. After he had gone back to snokes destroyer, he had been tempted to take his own lightsaber to his hand, and remove it for what he had done. After his father's death snoke had been watching him closely.
After leia's death he had finally a chance to mourn both of them, properly, he had destroyed and crashed everything that was within his grasp. He had screamed and melted metal deep inside the destroyer, so deep inside that he was left alone. After he had spent all his energy, all his tears, all his hate, he had felt a hand on his shoulder. It was brief and weak, her fingers thinner than the last time he had seen her, he glanced over his shoulder to see her arm more transparent than her hand, it ended before her torso, where all that was of her standing with him was just her arm. But he understood, leia was still with him, and she didn't hate him for the monster he'd become.
He had been meditating hoping to find answers to how he might finally brush off the weight of snokes control on his mind, the corruption staining almost every reach of his mind, he meditated to find a answer to help Rey. Luke had been scarce since finding out the truth about Han and Leia death's, too busy checking on Rey as she haunted the base. She was never where she was suppose to be, at first they had just tried locking her into her rooms until they could deal with whatever was wrong with her. But locks stood no chance with her, she'd just look at one and it would almost shatter trying to unlock itself so quickly. Ben had sat several times, sitting across from her, trying to reach inside her mind. But he could never get through the ocean of fire that greeted him every time he tried.
He felt her before he heard her, Rey's feet lightly tapping on the rock behind him, she walked up behind him, her sunken cheeks and her darkened eyes met his when he turned to see her. She had a blanket wrapped around her shoulders as she stood there, she had lost so much weight in the last weeks. Her body fighting a battle he didn't know what it was about. Even with her being so hollowed, such a shadow of who she had been when they first clashed, he still couldn't pull his eyes away from her. Her brown eyes use to glow, but now they had darkened, she didn't look like the same person. She walked over to where he was sitting, and sat behind him, her knees pulled up close to her chest. He was to swivel on his spot to look straight ahead at her. The blanket wrapped tightly around her shoulders. Ben held his hand out for her to take it. He hadn't touched her since they had woken up in the hospital the weeks before. He had hoped she would be better by now, but as she held his hand her gaze didn't flinch, didn't move, she didn't seem like her anymore.
He reached into her mind, hoping that the contact was the extra step he needed to get past that ocean of fire he'd seen in her mind so many times before. This time started out no different, the half a world of fire was there, Ben could see the shadow of footsteps, hovering above the fire, in front of him, he'd never seen those before. He took a tentative step, feeling out with his food. He felt hard ground beneath it, the moment he started following the footsteps the fire died down to just the size of a campfire. Where Rey was sitting in front of it. She was huddled under her blanket, her cheeks sunken, her eyes had these large dark circles, and in front of her was a mass of black cloud, held back by the fire in front of her.
He jolted out of her mind, he dropped her hand and her eyes briefly flashed hurt as she turned her head to look at him. Oh this was his fault, he had triggered the darkness inside of her, for Rey it was harder to push it away than for Ben to seek it out. He went from sitting to kneeling in front of her; he held her face in his hands and stared deeply into her eyes.
"I'm here for you Rey. You don't have to fight this alone. You're no longer alone." his voice coming out as a strained whisper, his chest was so tight it hurt to breath.
"You're not alone." he said again, slightly louder, her hollowed eyes coming into focus so quickly, so sharply, her hands shot out from underneath her blanket and gripped his shirt so hard her nails dug into his skin.
"Neither are you." her words coming out so quietly, harshly, he could feel blood welling up under her nails, he could feel the ghost of his own hands against his face; their force bond getting almost too strong to stand, pain wasn't the only thing they felt from each other now, he could feel the ghost of the blanket on his own shoulders, just like she could feel the coldness of the stone seeping into his knees. Neither of them moved, they sat ridgely in place, his heart beating in his ears, almost overpowering the sound of Rey's breathing, of the water behind them. Ben could feel her heart beating in time with his through the contact of his hands on her face, her lips parted slightly; he dragged his eyes up from her mouth and looked into her eyes.
For the first time in weeks she seemed to be behind those eyes, for the moment she was no longer the ghost that had been haunting the base. Her eyes burned with a fierceness he hasn't seen since that night on starkiller base, when she held a lightsaber in her hands and tried to kill him. She used that fierceness to steel herself, against the cold of the galaxy, what had happened to her? He dropped the thought when she gently placed her lips on his, he closed his eyes and kissed her back gently. Pressing his lips against her's, the tightness in his chest loosened, she released her hand from his shirt and put her hand on the back of his head, sliding up into his thick black curls. Sliding one of his hands he slipped it around her back, pulling her in as close as he could with the odd angle they sat at. Her sitting on the stone, her knees pulled up in between them, him on his knees in front of her, he still towered over her, he tightened his pull on her and she slide forward as he leaned over top of her.
She tightened her hand in his hair, a handful of curls, as she pulled his head closer to deepen the kiss. He leaned back just for a moment, to breath, to look at her hollowed but still beautiful face, the glowing slime lighting the angles on her face to show the sharpness of her cheeks. She closed her eyes again as he crushed his lips against her, the gentleness in the last kiss passing as she pulled on the bond between them. Tugging on his soul until he wasn't sure where his edges ended and hers started. His hand that was holding her face dropped down, grabbing her hip and squeezing tightly. Rey turned her head breaking the kiss, both their breathing labored, heating up the space between their faces.
She looked deeply into his eyes, different shades of brown meeting, his dark, so dark like ebony, hers the color of honey. He was searching her face, his hands still holding tightly onto her hip and her back, afraid shes going to slip out of his fingers again.
"What's changed?" his voice breathy, Ben started to lean back, but instead of separating from her, he pulled her forward into his lap. He lifted her so easily, crossing his legs underneath them, he cradled her in his arms so protectively. His hand drifted over her face, sliding over her shoulder, down her leg, before he brought it back up and held it against her cheek. Her face was overly warm under his fingers, her eyes started to lose the sharpness they had, he tapped her cheek. She brought her eyes back to his, a small smile ghosting her lips.
"Nothing." her voice a soft whisper, before she slide out of his arms, and walked away from him without even a glance back. His body felt cold with her heat leaving, but his insides chilled at the thought of her fighting a battle with the dark side that he hadn't prepared for. Nor the silence that was left in her wake, he folded in on himself, putting his hands in his hair and breathing deeply. What was he to do?
Rey glideded her way from where Ben sat, huddled over with concern or rejection Rey couldn't be sure. She wasn't sure she wanted to keep fighting these negative emotions inside her that seemed to be growing, the fire she was feeling wasn't going anywhere. She looked over the water by the door exiting the caves, and squeezed her fists, the rock crumbled like it was made of dry dirt, the sound silent as she let the dust fall into the water. It sent a shiver up her spine, her mind went sharp. She let that power destroy the rock at her direction and it took it and ran. Even before with her connection to the force it had never felt so fluid; a stream which use to get blocked by every branch in the way, now flowed so strong the branches were swept away.
She left the caves, her feet making no noise on the flooring in the base, which was mostly shut down for the night, the few guards were the third shift. Rey had sought Ben out in the caves, he didn't seem to sleep. His rooms staying empty most of the times, she could feel him embracing the light side, which no longer brought her the joy it had the first time she had the thought. There was a tugging at the edges of her person, she wanted so desperately to belong somewhere, but the way the base looked at her like a monster. The way they looked at Ben; she knew she'd never belong with the rebels.
Rey made her way to the observation deck, the only part of the base that stood out from the ground and cave system. White trees grew in every direction, the stars were out with no light on this side of the planet drowning out the stars. They shined from every section of the galaxy, planets, moons, suns, everything coming together. Rey stopped the two sides of herself from fighting, slowly letting the light and dark mesh into a odd lumpy shape of mostly dark matter. Her chest tightened, the light was losing and she was letting it.
Kylo Ren had once told her to let the old things die, to let her fate take control and allow herself to become who she was meant to be. Was she meant to be on the dark side? Had she let hope for her parents to come back for her keeping her hoping, instead of steeling herself for the realities of life? She stared up into the galaxy that floated around her, the stars couldn't lie but they had no advice to share. Luke's presence was suddenly behind her, the swaying of his cloak in the wind brought her back to the ground they stood on. Her internal battle brushed off into the background.
"There's something to tell you." his voice was steady, his robotic hand gripping the handrail next to him, she didn't stop looking up, but her thoughts were trained on him.
"You're here to send me and Ben away." her voice cold and hollow, the way Luke had been looking at her for the last week had told her everything she needed to know. She would never belong.
"That's part of it. I need you to come with me on a personal mission. After we find out the truth you'll both be free to live how you see fit." he said, at that she turned to him. A frown on her face, he almost flinched at how hollow she had become.
"We'll never be free of the reaches of light or dark. It grips our hearts and squeezes with hate. Hate for each other." her voice still quiet but with a sharpness that he hadn't been prepared for. Ben was the one to convince him that they needed to leave the base for her own good. Luke felt like they were no longer themselves but each other. The thought spreading across his mind with surprise. That battle had done more than almost kill them.
"We'll never be free until the jedi and the sith are gone." she said, looking him dead in the face as she shoved past him, Luke standing silently in surprise at her statement. She was the child who had begged him to train her only months ago, her eyes no longer full of life and yearning. It was now full of spite and disdain for those who stood near.
The next day Luke had sent for both Rey and Ben to collect their belongings, they'd be gone for a good while both of them showed up with a single backpack of their things. Ben looked generally awkward as he stood there between Luke and Rey, towering over both of them as Luke swept past them and onto the ship, where they were going Rey wasn't sure. Ben was staring at her intensely as she walked past, she could feel his desire from where she stood, but when she turned to look at him, he wouldn't make eye contact.
Luke hadn't told them much about where they were going, or what they were doing. Rey and Ben had stood at the handrail of the viewing port on the unnecessary luxury shuttle. The rebels had collected it at some point and had intended to sell it. But with the levels of heavy deaths and machine losses they weren't going to let Luke take a ship that they could use during a battle.
The luxury shuttle was a smooth ride as it started out to a small moon on the far side of the Galaxy. The whole trip was to take 5 days. They'd be staying on this ship together for 5 days straight. Rey and Ben still stood at the window, watching as the space started flying past as they entered hyperdrive. Ben had been looking out of the corner of his eye at Rey, her hands held the railing tightly and her eyes looked dull and uninterested in the view in front of them.
Rey turned her eyes onto Ben, feeling his eyes on the side of her face. Her eyes held his for a moment, the bond pulling tight between them. He held her eyes and reached out with his hand, lightly touching the side of her face. He quickly dropped his hand and turned to face the other way when Luke came marching in. If he could feel the tension between the two he didn't comment on it. But instead gestured for them to all sit together at the large table nearby.
"This mission is personal to me. I'm hoping to locate the women who I had.. lived with for many years." Luke's voice soft and calm. He wants to confirm with her that Rey isn't his. Doctors have been wrong before, before he tells the two sitting in front of him. They glanced at each other and shrugged. Ben shoving back his chair and stalking out of the room and finding an empty room. The door sliding shut loudly. How he had managed to slam an automatic shutting door Luke couldn't figure out.
He looked over to Rey, who sat folded in on herself. Small shock on her face. "We're looking for my mother?" She said quietly, she was squeezing her hands together.
"I know which planet she's on. But we have to find her once we're there. Ben must think this is a waste of his time." Luke said, sweeping his hand towards where Ben had went. Rey turned her head to follow the movement, she shook her head.
"No. Not a waste of his time. He just knows when a conversation that doesn't involve him." Luke eyed her intensely.
"How would you know that?" He leaned forward in his chair, his gaze making her shift in her seat.
"He gave me the message." Rey said, matter of factly. Rey could hear the sudden pater of water. She looked around confused, trying to place it. Luke had left to go back to the cockpit to check the settings of the autopilot. Leaving Rey with the pattering just above her head, she couldn't see it, but she felt a light misting on her face. The only conclusion she had was Ben was taking a shower. He must of felt her raw emotions through the bond because he pulled on it. Just enough to let her know he was there, that she'd never be alone.
She wandered through the ship, looking into doors and seeing rooms, storage closets, a room full of expensive fancy coats. Another room held nothing but a kitchen, with huge trays full of empty cups and empty cupboards and one cabinet full of bottles of champagne. This ship was odd, luxury was odd to Rey, who grew up with the comfort of a gutted out at-at as a home. Her stomach was grumbling, leaving that pit of a base was already making her feel better.
Inside one cabinet was full of military rations and that's all they had. Military rations for 5 days made her lip curl. That's all she had for 17 years of her life and she was sick of them. She turned around to the sink and pour some water on top of the ratios. Watching them soak up all the extra water and form the shape of a bread roll. The rest of the ratio was soaking up the water, forming a piece of bird? Rey took out a small pan to cook the bird. It formed fully cooked but rations always tasted better slightly burnt. The burnt taste makes the taste buds think it was cooked instead of just forming. Rey curled her lip at the sizzling the lump was doing. How she hated rations.
The door clicked open, Rey glanced over her shoulder to see Ben standing over by the door. Glancing around the kitchen that once cooked all kind of fancy food for fancy people. He sniffed the air and cringed at the smell. It seemed everyone hated the smell of burning rations. She looked back at the bird like object, it started to catch on fire. Rey stepped back to slam a lid down on the pan when Ben rushed over. Grabbing the handle and throwing the whole thing into the metal trash can next to the stove. The pan and food included.
"What are you doing Ben?!" Rey's voice going up higher than she meant to. She was holding the lid in her hand. The bread roll on the counter.
"I'm not letting you eat burnt…. Is that gorg belly? Disgusting." He said. Taking the lid from her hands and throwing that into the trash as well. He was wearing a simple black shirt and black pants. So causal so not the dramatics of Ben. But he did just throw away the cooking utensils that contained the food, Rey thought, that's where the dramatics are right now.
"Is that what it was? I thought it was some kind of bird, thing." Rey said shrugging, she didn't know food very well. Rations had all been bread and some kind of meat paste.
Ben gave her this long unbelievable look. "Bird? That? What kind of bird has these like 8 limbs coming off of it?'" Rey just shrugged again. Before just sitting at a stool on the other side of sink. Bens hair was still wet, barely dried off and dripping water all over his shirt and the counters. The water from his hair made his shirt stick to his shoulders, accenting the muscles in his upper back. She dragged her eyes away from his back and looked over to the trashcan which was still smoking. Rey could feel the coolness around her neck, or feel the ghost of the coolness of the water on Bens neck. It was keeping him to getting too warm, being around Rey always made him too warm.
He straightened his back and went digging for more food, he found a dried packet of something he recognized. A surprised "huh" coming out. She stood up slightly to see what it was over his shoulder. He turned around to see her standing on one of the rungs on the stool to be taller. But only ended up being his height.
"It's a ration of a bird from my mother's planet. Gorak. I thought they were extinct since the planet was blown up back when my mother was a young woman." Ben's voice held a sense of awe. Would it taste like the stories he heard?
"Maybe there's some somewhere else being raised as a delicacy?" Rey asked, sitting back on the stool as he turned the ration over in his hands.
"Or it's just that old." He said with a grin spreading across his face. Rey made a disgusted expression, she wasn't sure how old that ration packet could be. Let alone if it was still good to eat. Ben pulled out another pan from some cabinet, he reached effortlessly to the cabinet over his head and pulled out what seemed to be some small bottles full of something. Ben brought the pan, bottles, and water in front of Rey. He dumped water into the pan, poured all kinds of odd colors powders and flakes from the bottles. Rey watched in fascination.
"The second young Rey, is to add seasonings and water and cook that together before adding the powder. That way the water and seasonings form together and then form the food. It's better than burnt preformed food." Ben looked up at Rey face long enough to see the confusion.
"What are seasonings? I've only ever had the burnt food. To cover the taste of the ration." Rey watched as surprise crossed his face, then understanding, then sadness. His lips formed a tight line.
"It's normally dried plants or other things grounded up into powder and you put it in food to make it taste better. It what makes the food at the bases taste better." She nodded her head slightly watching as the water and seasonings cooked. He poured the packet of powder into the colorful water and Rey watched in surprise as it formed a bird this time. It did look vastly different from the first thing she'd made. It was colorful and smelled decently for being a ration of unknown age.
Rey's stomach growled loudly at the smell and Ben let out a soft chuckle. He cut the portion in half and putting them between the two plates he had managed to find. Rey felt peaceful like this, sitting with Ben while he was making something for them to eat. The darkness on her soul had started to lift the more and more she was around him. She had been avoiding him at the base to keep her distance from him. To keep from being drawn to him, but now they were here for at least 5 days. Maybe she'd be more like her usual self by the time this mission was over.
A shadow crossed his face the moment she began to feel herself pushing the darkness away. He turned away from her to keep her from seeing the look in his eyes. Ben gripped the counter and took a deep steadying breath. He could feel the grips of the darkness closing in on him. Clenching his soul tightly under its grasp. The sound of Rey gasping as she started eating brought him out of his thoughts. The darkness backing up slightly.
"I never knew rations could taste like something other than dirt and sadness." Rey exclaimed biting into more of her food. Ben faced her again with an easy smile at her comparison.
"Burnt dirt and sadness." He corrected. Picking at his food himself, the bird didn't taste the way he thought it would. It tasted like any kind of bird he's already eaten before. The memory of his mom describing the bird always made his mouth water. It was either the fact it was a cheap imitation, or he lost his appetite at the overpowering darkness creeping over his being. Rey looked the happiest she'd been in weeks, her feet kicking back and forth as she ate. She cleared her plate and Ben pushed his towards her, she gladly took it and started eating that one too.
The ship was silent besides the humming coming from the engine. The ship had a slight rocking motion and Ben suddenly felt so drained that he could hardly stand up. The darkness he felt hovering nearby was draining him, trying to make him weaker so it could take hold. Did he want it to? To take over himself so completely that he could finally be part of the dark side. Where did that leave him with Rey? Would she join him. Or be pushed to the other side?
He sat down heavily on to the stool next to her, propping his head up in his hand as he watched her eating. He'd never seen anyone enjoy food the way she does. Even shitty rations from a stolen ship. Did Rey know that? That the good side. The rebels. Had stolen this ship from a docking station to auction it off to the highest bidder.
While he showered he had felt her opening doors, she opened the door to his room and quickly closed it. It had been the one she was drawn to first, she shuffled off in her embarrassment, finding random things as she went. He had felt the soft fur as she reached out and touched the expensive coats in the closet. Her hands lingering on the softest coat. The warmth of it melting through the bond. Not everything came through the bond. But some things did. When her emotions were strong enough he could feel what she touched, the sounds around her. The smells. That's when the burning had drawn him out of the shower and he found her in the kitchen. Catching things on fire.
The way she looked when he came into the kitchen he almost rushed her and kissed her, but he held back, rushing over to deal with the fire she made.
He opened his eyes from where he closed them for a moment while she was eating. She was done, and watching him closely. Her eyes a sharp honey color that bore into his soul. He sleepily reached out and lightly touched her cheek. His fingers trailing against the soft skin of her face. His finger caught a thin scar on her cheek, stopping for a moment before it continued on it's path down the side of her face. She watched him so intently as he half lidded eyes stared into hers. He felt her skin heating up under his fingers, a blush creeping across her face. The bond thumping with her heart beat as it got louder and faster.
Rey reached up with her hand and gripped his hand with hers, she rubbed his fingers, she noted how rough his hands felt, not in a bad way, but a he worked with his hands often and proudly. Scars were covered over his fingers, the palm of his hand, the top of his hand. Her own hands had similar scars, from her years on jakku. Her eyes were focused on his hands while his were focused on her, he sat up and slide closer. Taking his hand away from hers, cupping her face in both of his hands and he leaned down. Pressing his lips against hers softly. The bond pulling from an emotion Ben would describe is need, a desperate need that burned for him to get closer to her. She felt it tugging at her insides, as she slipped her hand around his torso to lightly press against his back.
Ben slide one of his hands from her face into her hair, which she hasn't tied back just yet today, it hung loose down around her shoulders and it was soft in between his fingers. He deepened the kiss by moving to the edge of his seat, to move any closer he'd have to stand. They're knees already making contact. Her lips were soft and she tasted like a hint of spice. She opened her lips slightly and softly licked his lips. He bit back a groan as he tightened the grip he had in her hair.
This time he broke the kiss, standing up quickly, Rey almost fell off her perch on the stool. She gained her composer as she watched him practically run out of the kitchen. She watched as his starting to dry hair, where the ends were starting to curl and the back of his black clothing slipped out of the automated door. It shutting behind him. Her thumping heart was no longer pounding in her ears. Maybe she had pushed him too far. She sat for a moment longer before she dumped the dirty plates in the sink and left the kitchen. Going to the room farthest away from the one Ben had taken over.
Luke had stayed in the front of the ship for awhile. His mind heavy with emotions and plans, decisions to make on what would happen next. His heart heavy. He hasn't seen her in so many years. Rey's training driving them apart, she didn't want her to be trained. Worried that she wouldn't be strong enough and would wash out. Being seen as a disappointment to Luke. He watched the light speed stars fly past as he sat by a large window. He heard Ben quickly run down the hall and the door slide shut. A few minutes later Rey went into a room farther down the ship and that door slide shut, Sounding softer than Bens had. Maybe it was just his imagination.
They were starting to feel like themselves again, which was a good and bad thing. Ben tended to have tantrums that got loud and messy. Around Rey he seemed to be slower to rage and quicker to relax. The dark side making him volatile. While Rey being influenced by the dark side had her cold and cruel. During their time at the base, while she was haunting it. She had picked fights with some of the guards, bending their blasters until they were curly q's, force gripping their wrists when they reached out to grab her until she almost broke their bones. Her rage cold and brutal.
Luke had removed her from the base before they banished her themselves. The once beloved Rey becoming a thing of hate among the rebels who didn't know her any better. Finn had been sent on mission to try and locate another base they could hop to. The off the record mission was to try and follow up a lead on Poe. Luke had considered sending Rey with him, to get her away from whatever dark force pressed into her mind on that planet. Luke could almost feel Ben's energy radiating from the other room. Whatever had happened between them couldn't be good if this is how he was dealing with it.
Luke sighed heavily, at least he wasn't destroying the ship. He pushed his old bones to get up, his knees creaking as he got up. He started searching through some of the cabinets lined underneath the viewing windows. He found a bottle of some kind of fancy alcohol, he opened it, took a big whiff and poured himself a glass. Where he sat back down at the observation window and sipped on that drink well into the night.
Ben was pacing in his room, his chest tight and his emotions raw. He could feel Rey's dejection from the bond. She sat in an arm chair in her room, her legs pulled up tightly against her body. Her emotions were raw as well. Feeling them pulse, dragging him towards the door just for him to turn around and keep pacing. He had pulled away from her in the kitchen because he could feel the darkness licking at his heels waiting for him to slow, waiting for him to bring her over to the darkness. Rey's emotions pulling and shoving like the ocean she had once reminded him of. Ben pushed the darkness away from himself, only to feel it slide over towards Rey. It was like a fog along the ground in his mind. He tugged it away from her only to feel it latch onto his legs. He looked down but it wasn't really there. He shook his leg, hoping that it was just his imagination, lack of sleep, anything. But it wasn't, he could feel it gripping him.
Ben stumbled and fell to the ground, letting out a semi loud chirp of surprise as he landed with a thump. He kicked wildly out with his leg, the darkness holding tighter, the effort was useless. It didn't budge, he was losing the feeling in his leg. It started creeping up towards him torso, he reached out with his hands towards the door. He reached out towards Rey at the same time, she bolted up and towards his room. His mind getting heavy.
The door slid open as Rey burst in, she flung out with the force, pushing off whatever was attaching itself to Ben. He was gasping for air, the invisible hand that was closing on his chest lifting. Rey's honey eyes were full of concern, as she knelt down and held his head in her lap. Her fingers brushing across his forehead lightly. His head fevered.
"There's nothing there Ben. There's nothing there." She mumbled softly. His eyes dazed, his skin pale, his breathing jagged. He closed his eyes, and she brushed his hair with her fingers, she held her hand against his forehead and closed her eyes. Reaching into his soul through the bond, through the force, she opened her eyes and stood in a field of green grass. Grass that reached up past her knees, the sun was touching her skin, this was the field she had once imagined the first time his feeling touched her mind through the bond. Warm sunlight that touched her face, and she looked over to the side, where more heat was coming from to see the field on fire. A dark shadow was rising over the grass, and in front of it stood Ben, the darkest reaches of the black smoke swirling around him. He stood there with his lightsaber, cutting at the smoke with a glowing blue saber. He had sweat coming down his face, his teeth were clenched but none of his strikes mattered. The smoke just reformed right where it had been. He started screaming out, hacking with more hate than he had when she first saw it. She went darting towards him, the grass grabbing at her ankles slowing her progression. Until it held her in place.
Rey pulled, trying to move forward but it felt like viney quicksand. She was just far enough that he didn't hear her, but she could hear him. Ben had started yelling, screaming into the smoke. It passed by on the side that Rey could see, it created a thin veil that covered the Ben she had gotten to know. His black t-shirt and black pants, being replaced with his Kylo Ren outfit, the black gambeson with the black belt, the black pants tucked into his boots. His cape blowing behind him, his thick black curls and his expressive face behind his helmet, and in his hand was no longer the bright blue lightsaber but his unstable red one. The veil passed and it was Ben Solo again, screaming into the storm of darkness.
"LEAVE US ALONE!" his voice carried over to her, she could hear the desperation. She shoved at the weeds with her strongest force push, but all it did was drag her deeper under. She was slipping beneath the surface, when a hand jolted her from the hole she'd gotten herself stuck in. she was suddenly in the real world again. Luke's hand was gripping her shoulder tightly. He huffed in relief when she looked up at him. He was kneeled next to her and Ben, he felt his face with his hand and brought a bottle out of his robes, it smelled awful and forced Ben to drink it. Rey watched in confusion.
"He's fighting. I'll give him that." Luke's voice was strained, "he also inherited the families flair for dramatics." his voice was lighter at that comment, Ben started to open his eyes. They were hazy and dark, but he was coming out of whatever had taken over him. Rey left out a puff of air she hadn't realized she was holding.
"We can't ever just have a calm moment can we?" she asked, more to the galaxy, to the force, to whatever was out there. Both Luke and Ben looked at her, they're eyes such different colors yet so similar. What was it that moz had told her, 'live long enough and you'll see the same kind of eyes in different people', Rey smiled softly, whatever kind of test they'd had just gone through she hoped they had passed it.
"Here. Let's get him into bed. This floor can't be that comfortable." Luke said, standing, bending over to help Rey lift Ben's heavy body. He wasn't dead weight but he wasn't doing much to help it. They accidently kind of dropped him into the bed. Luke picked up his feet and placed them on the bed while Rey was putting the pillow under his head and smoothing his curly hair down with one hand while the other touched his face softly. He closed his eyes for a moment before placing his hand on top of hers. Luke watched from the end of the bed, shifting on his feet uncomfortably watching such a moment between the two of them. He watched as Rey started to pull herself away from Ben, who was starting to drift off to sleep. Ben's hand shot out and grabbed Rey's wrist, holding it, he mumbled out something Luke couldn't hear from where he stood. But he watched as Rey nodded and then to look at Luke.
"You can go ahead and go. I'm going to stay." she said, pulling up the same chair all the rooms seemed to have. And sat next to the bed, where Ben could still hold onto her wrist.
"If you need anything call for me." Luke said, he was walking out the door, when he looked over his shoulder one last time to watch as Ben brought her wrist up to his mouth and kissed it softly. Luke let the door drop shut as he backed away towards where he had left his empty glass and the bottle he had been drinking from. He slumped down and poured another glass. The two of these kids were going to be the death of him, he told himself as he looked back out into space. This trip couldn't be over fast enough for him.
Ben kissed her wrist again as he laid in the bed, her sitting by his side in the chair.
"I'd die for you." Ben mumbled to her softly, still holding her wrist to his mouth. His dark heated eyes looking into her soul like he had the key hidden behind those long dark lashes.
"I never want to be on opposing sides again. I'd rather die than never trust you." he said, rolling from his back to his side to face her, his hand that was holding her wrist pulled it away from them, gently pulling her out of her chair and half on top of him.
"Dark or light. I will be on whichever with you." she was now almost totally over him, he put his free hand on her hip, pushing her farther onto the bed until she was practically straddling his hips. He let go of her wrist once he was satisfied that she wasn't going to jump back to the chair, just out of his reach. He gripped her waist tightly, she placed her hands on his chest, her heart beating so loudly his did just because of the bond. He should be nervous, but he sat up and leaned his back against the headboard, his head was now level with hers. His air dried hair was much curlier than when he towel drys it, it stood up at odd angles. Rey's eyes following the curls that dropped heavily around his face, his eyes watched hers until she brought her eyes to meet his.
They held each other's eyes for a moment, before he crushed his lips against hers, her hands moved from his chest to the back of his head, she kissed him back with viger, a heat creeping up along his back as she got her fingers tangled in his hair. They kissed with a need that burned them both on the inside, his arms wrapped completely around her small torso, Ben pulled her closer as he sat up even straighter. She bit his lip in a way that made him chirp out a small surprise. She was so fierce it made his head spin. He opened his mouth slightly and kissed her deeper, their tongues sliding over each others bottom lip before gliding over the others tongue.
They're breathing was heavy when they finally broke apart. His face as red as hers, her fingers knotted so tightly in his hair it'd hurt if it wasn't Rey pulling it, Ben's arms were wrapped around her back so tightly, she couldn't slide backwards. Not that she wanted to, the buzzing in their bond was making her head and chest overly warm. She pulled on the bond tightly as she brought his mouth back to hers, he grumbled against her mouth, his one hand sliding down to grab her bottom roughly as the other slide farther up her back and tightened in her hair.
She was breathing so heavy and he could feel her heart against his chest, or was that his heart, or both of their hearts through the bond. He couldn't tell anymore. His only need to be closer to her, like gravity was drawing them closer and closer until they slam together and create a new star. Two stars colliding to create a new different, better one, neither being totally overtaken by the other, becoming something else that hadn't been planned for.
He broke away and placed his forehead against hers, Ben was panting almost as hard as Rey was, her nails had started digging into his skin, he could feel himself gripping her skin so tightly he was sure he was bruising her. Rey swallowed heavily, her breathing starting to level out, the redness was leaving her face, her eyes were the shade of golden honey and it made his knees weak. He lightly kissed her cheek, and she smiled so softly, closing her eyes and a small wrinkle on her nose. Oh how he needed her, he thought. Gently lifting her up and placing her next to him.
Rey reached out and gently touched his cheek, his cheek, his lips a red from their kissing, his skin flushed and warm. His eyes were a dark brown, the color of warm burning dark wood, the look he gave her made her skin warm again. She could feel his burning through the bond, even without the bond the desperate look in his eyes gave it away. She smoothly slide her hand down the side of his face, his hair curled at even odder angles after she had been running her hands through his soft curls, her hands knotting up tightly in his curls. She could feel the humming deep within the ship, and out here between the two places in the galaxy nothing else mattered but him.
"I never want to go to war with you. I'd rather die than have to fight you again." she settled in against the side of his chest, his arm wrapping around her shoulders. His heart beating in her ears as she breathed in his scent of smoke and spice. Before he could respond her eyes were closed and her breathing level. He held a peice of hair between his fingers and settled in to sleep as well. The darkness shifting at the edges of his vision, but he ignored it for he had everything he'd need to awhile right here.
(author note: thanks for reading so far guys. Its getting pretty intense between them. It'd be a shame.. If they hit a speed bump…. Please review C:)