To be honest guys, this chapter is going to be an angsty possibly boring chapter? Hope you read any way? Always end sentences in question marks?

Argh, so tired.

J.C Pocsh

xXx

While in the hospital, I was alone a lot.

All my friends were back in New York (or Canada) so it wasn't easy for them to visit. Cap came to see me a couple times. He'd bring in a couple of Cokes and tell me stories about him and Dad in the war. Peter came to see me once (out of costume). It was really nice to see him but I understood that he couldn't come more because of the expenses of travel. Dad came four times a week and sometimes he would bring Kitty or Taren and Alex. Benny, the little boy I helped rescue from the base always came with Dad. From the moment he got to the hospital he would be right up in my bed beside me, brushing my short hair and silently offering me sips of water from the cup on my stand. He would cry without sounds when he had to leave. He was pretty attached to me I guess. He was still too traumatized to speak but he made his feelings known.

I think Dad would have stayed there with me the whole time if it had not been for Mom back at Xaviers. I just had physical trauma, she had mental trauma.

Or, at least, that's what I keep telling myself.

I tell myself that I'm okay. I order myself to be okay. I beg to be okay.

But I'm not.

Every time I close my eyes, I see Eric smiling at me for a moment and then he dies. Sometimes he screams, sometimes he dies silently.

Why did he have to die?

xXx

I'm not exactly sure how long I was in the hospital for. I lost count of the surgeries and tests. It felt like a long time, though my doctors told me that my recovery time was miracoulous and I heard them whispering in the hallways when they thought I was asleep that they were surprised I survived my injuries at all. I told them I was just to stuborn to die from a car crash (that was the story we gave them. It was a better explaination that I was in a couple explosions at a secret MRD base). Dr. McCoy had to come with Dad to pick me up, so that he could assure my doctors that I would be in good care.

I was asleep for most of the flight. I was woken up by Dad genlty picking me up. He lifted me as easily as he would a child's doll.

"Dad, it's okay. I can do it myself." I protested weakly, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

"I know you can darl'n, but you're just getting over your last surgery." Dad replied, placing me in the wheelchair I was ordered to use by the doctors. "You have to take it easy."

"Fine." I grumbled.

Dad began to push my chair towards the opening ramp of the Blackbird. "That means no stealing my bike to go for joyrides for awhile."

I winced. "Oh, you know about that?"

"Yup."

I leaned back to look at him and gave him a shaky smile "Have I told you how much I love you lately?"

Dad laughed at that and began running with my wheelchair, making me laugh to. It had been awhile since I'd truly laughed. It felt good, but only at first. Then I was overcome with a horrible guilt. I shouldn't be laughing, not right now.

Dad, noticing my sudden mood change, slowed down to a walk. We were entering the East end of the main building where the teacher's appartments and rooms were. He leaned down so that he could speak to me quietly.

"You don't have to feel bad about being happy, Leah. You know that's not what he would have wanted for you." He said gently.

I felt a sudden rise of anger, and wanted to scream at my father 'HOW WOULD YOU KNOW WHAT HE WOULD WANT? YOU AND THE REST OF THOSE DAMN SO CALLED HEROES LEFT A BOY TO DIE BECAUSE NONE OF YOU COULD STEP UP!"

But I stayed quiet. It wasn't fair to blame the adults for what happened to Eric when I know who's fault it really was.

We entered the elevator and Dad pushed the buttons. As it lifted upwards, he said "While you were still in the hospital, I moved your things into our family appartment. I thought it would be better for you."

I just nodded in response.

"You know, this was the place you mom and I shared before you were born." Dad added, still trying to get me to respond.

I really didn't feel like talking, but I knew Dad was worried about me. I should at least attempt to subdo his worries by talking. Dad has enough on his plate without him being in constant worry about me to.

"That's cool. I thought you had your own room?" I replied, trying to sound normal.

"Yeah, I still have the room I used when I was a bachlor. It didn't feel right using the family appartment while knowing my girls weren't here with me." Dad said.

I opened my mouth, ready to mention his secret missions that he'd lied about for my entire life, but at the same time Dad unlocked an opened one of the wooden doors. As he wheeled me in, there was a sudden uprise of noise and the lights flicked on.

"Welcome home!" The whole room yelled at me.

My mouth dropped in shock as I looked around the appartment at the gathering of students, teachers and superheroes. They all wore smiling faces as they came forward to hug me and shake my hand. There was a sheet hung up on the wall that read "Welcome home Leah!". There was a table that was covered with food and drinks.

"Uh…" Was all I could say. I looked down as Benny hurriedly climbed up onto my lap to hug me.

Dad leaned over to Jean and whispered. "Red, what the hell is this? Leah's been through a lot and she just got home-"

"Simmer down, papa bear." Jean said, laying a hand on Dad's shoulder. "We know all that. We just wanted to do something nice for her to get her mind off of everything."

Taren and Alex came through the crowd and took control of my wheelchair. Benny continued to ride on the chair with me, content with where he was.

"Leah, we're so glad you're back!" Taren greeted.

"Yeah! Though it kind of sucks that we're not sharing a room anymore." Alex added. "But I guess we could hang out here instead. Are we allowed in the teachers' wing if we're visiting you? Because students aren't really usually allowed but-"

Taren rolled her eyes. "Lex- "

"-maybe we'll be allowed now! Hey! We can find out which room is Angel's and we might be able to catch him in the nude. Mmmm, nude Angel…"

"ALEX!" Taren interupted. "Calm down! Leah doesn't need you talking a a hundred words a minute at you right now. She just got out of the hospital, knucklehead."

"Oh, right, sorry!" Alex leaned down to hug me with Taren. "Its just we missed you so much! We were worried you were going to die!"

"I missed you guys too." I replied in a tiny voice.

That's how most of the party went. People hugging me and talking way too much. Everyone avoided the topic of Eric, but some how that made it stick out more. I tried to keep up a smile and appear cheery but it was difficult.

I left a conversation with Jean as she turned her attention to Mr. Summers (who invited him?). I wheeled myself over to where Dad sat alone, drinking a beer. I looked at the beer in his hand and wondered if it would make me feel any better. It was highly unlikely, seeing as my liver was damaged and still recovering form the explosion. A beer would probably kill me.

So maybe it would make me feel better…

"Hey darl'n, you enjoying your party?" Dad asked, interupting my dark thoughts.

"Yeah, its…great." I replied, once more putting on my fake smile. "It was really nice of everyone to do this. Are you…okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just not feeling up to being very socail, I guess." Dad replied, finishing off his beer before starting another. I saw a large pile of empties beside his chair and wondered how many he had drank. I didn't have a reply so I just leaned my head on his shoulder.

"Mom's not here."

The moment I said it, I wished I hadn't. Dad had refused to talk about Mom while I was in the hospital, saying that I had to focus on getting myself better. I knew that meant she hadn't been recovering well. I saw that what she was going through was causing him a lot of pain, but I needed to know if she was getting any better.

Dad didn't say anything, but instead took a long drink from his beer.

"Is she, getting better?" I asked. He still didn't say anything so I gently squeezed his arm. "Dad, please. I need to know how she is."

Dad sighed. "In some ways, yeah, I guess she's better. Jean and Chuck had to erase her mind because what they did to her almost shattered it. It worked, sort of. But her pain and fear kept bringing back the memories or what happened. They're keeping her in the Danger Room, programed it to be all calm and relaxing, and they keep wiping her memories. It's the only way to keep her from causing hurricanes."

I sucked in air, processing what he was telling me.

"So they're just keeping her right now, they can't help her." I said.

"They are helping darl'n, but the thing that's gonna help your mom the most is time." Dad answered, putting an arm over my shoulders and pulling me close to him. "Just her her some time and she'll get better."

I don't know if he actually believed that, or he was just saying it for my sake.

"Come on Leah," Jean called, coming over to us. She placed her hands on my wheelchair and guided me towards everyone else. "we have one more surprise for you."

"It was so sweet for you all to do this for me, really." I thanked. I hoped that Jean wasn't looking around my head at the moment. Though I really did wish appreciate them trying, I was in no partying mood.

Jean squeezed my shoulder in a friendly way before she wheeled me in front of a beautiful white frosted cake that was decorated with yellow and blue sugar roses. Scrawled across the face of the cake in beautiful writing was "Welcome back Leah!"

And then they made me feel even worse as they all began to sing 'For She's a Jolly Good Fellow'.

I hid my face in my hands and silently begged them to stop. I didn't deserve this.

"What a load of crap." A cold, crisp voice rang through the room. The next second the cake exploded in an eletric fire. Icing and cake splattered on those closest, but Benny protected me from the worst of the mess. He quickly spun around to make sure I was okay, his eyes wide in fear.

Everyone turned around in shock to see Tasha snarling at me. Her eyes were red rimmed, as though she'd been crying and her clothes looked like she'd been wearing them for weeks.

"Tasha!" Jean exclaimed, shocked. She moved towards the teenage girl but backed up quickly as Tasha attempted to eletrocute her.

"BACK OFF! I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU!" She screeched, sparks flying around her hands. She ran at me and grabbed me by the front on my shirt. I hissed in pain as electricty coursed through my body. Benny hit at Tasha, but she knocked him away. "You think you're really something, don't you? You actually think you're the hero their making you out to be!"

"Tasha that's enough!" Scott barked, moving towards us.

"I'LL SAY WHEN ITS ENOUGH! You're all treating this saphien like she's a tragic hero instead of what she really is! A MURDERER!" Tasha shook me as she screamed in my face. "ERIC IS DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU! HE WENT TRAMPING AFTER YOU LIKE A STUPID LITTLE PUPPY, EVEN WHEN YOU TREATED HIM LIKE DIRT, AND YOU LEAD HIM TO HIS DEATH! YOU KILLED HIM, YOU KILLED HIM!"

What could I say to defend myself when I believed every word she said?

Rough hands grabbed Tasha by the scruff of her neck and tossed her to the side. Dad stood in front of me, breathing hard. He pointed a clawed hand at Tasha and snarled at her. "You touch my daughter again, and I swear to God, I'll make you wish you were never born."

The room was silent when Tasha snarled back, shakily, "Too late for that old man."

With that she ran from the appartment.

"I-I-" I looked around at everyone who was still in shock. "I'm so sorry."

I fled the room as well.

xXx