Attack on Hange:
The First Time I Met Levi Ackerman
By: Unknownred
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:Chapter 1:
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In Maria High Academy
There is but one Queen Bee
Whom is selected
After showing their credentials
In Academics,
Sports,
Clubs,
Extracurricular activities,
And dancing.
Neither of which I'm eligible
For or qualified to participate in.
Not only have I proven
My rank, my GPA and
How many grades I've skipped,
I am, by far, the youngest Alec
To enter Maria High with an
IQ of…
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Academics: Hange Zoe Banned
'How is that even possible?'
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Sports: Hange Zoe Banned
'Zoe, what are you doing?!'
'Getting into position to stab him, sir!'
'In fencing, we don't call it a stab.
We call it a touch.'
'Oh dear, if I say I want to touch my assigned partner,
I'll get called into disciplinary HR.
And that's a big no-no, they say.'
(sigh) 'Zoe, bench!'
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Clubs: Hange Zoe Banned
'In my defense,
The club was desperate for funds
Panhandling was the next best choice.'
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Extracurricular activities: Hange Zoe Banned
'Your blood work shows thyroid function normal.
Cortisol levels normal. And looking at your
Follicle-stimulating hormone levels… menopause.'
'Hange, I am not going through menopause.
I'm a guy.'
'Okay, let me rephrase the results.
You have… andropause.'
'…And you're resigned.'
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Dancing: Hange Zoe Banned
'I can't stab nor touch people in fencing!
What made you think it was a good idea
To put me in dance?'
'You're right; you're banned from dancing too.'
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IQ of…
Which does not matter, apparently.
However, that didn't stop me
Or my dire curiosity to
Take up the hobby of
People-watching.
Yes, over the course of the semester
I observed from afar
Collected data,
Personal analysis,
And archived an unlimited
Array of information.
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I didn't think
All that research
Would come in handy
someday.
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:TBC: