For those confused why Sherlock as issues with his mother, refer back to the early parts of chapter 18 please. I did the math and Molly is approximately 4 months along. With all that has been going on, its not surprising she didn't see what few symptoms she had were not stress related. Heck, only symptoms I had with either of my pregnancies were 1 days bout of nausea and lack of period... both of which can also be attributed to stress.

Chapter 30

Sherlock was a wreck. They were driving out to his family home. Sherlock gripped the steering wheel so tight, his knuckles were white. His eyes went from the road to the rear view mirror, watching Laura who was snuggling with Gabriel.

He chanced a glance at Molly. Her head was leaning against the window, her eyes lost in thought. He painfully pulled one of his hands from the wheel and reached out to take her hand in his, giving it a reassuring squeeze. She responded with a squeeze of her own. But she looked tired. No surprise, they'd had quite a night.

He was the worse kind of arse.

mmmmmmmmmm

The night before:

Sherlock had lept to his feet and stared at Molly as if she'd grown a spare head.

"How? "

"How? Are you serious? "

"Well, I know HOW, but... I thought you were...seeing to that. Till we were ready. "

"I was. I... I might have forgotten a pill or two. There was so much going on at the time. From what I can figure, this baby was conceived that time... after our fight about...that woman. Please... don't be angry. I didn't do this on purpose. " Molly broke down in tears.

"I'm not angry " Sherlock said gruffly. " I am disappointed. The time is not right. Too much going on. I can't see to everything on my own..."

"You don't want the baby then? " Molly asked afraid of the answer.

"I didn't...say... that. " Sherlock said through gritted teeth.

"What are you saying then? "

"I'm saying its bad timing. How am I going to go after Moran with a pregnant wife? It makes you even more of a... "

"Liability. "

"Vulnerability. " Sherlock corrected.

Molly was now going from hurt to angry.

"Fine. I can get a flat and be with the baby by myself for a while. Till you are ready to accept it, or whatever. "

"You are leaving me? " Sherlock came in front of her.

"No. Never. We will still be together, just living apart for a while. "

"Not acceptable. "

"Its the only solution. "

"It is NO solution. There IS no solution to this ...situation "

Molly reared back.

"Do you HEAR yourself? Its a baby, Sherlock, not a situation. And you wonder why I want you to be ready before being with this child? I don't want history repeating itself! "

"What the FUCK is that supposed to mean? " He wasn't shouting. His voice was dangerously low..

Sherlock was furious now. He was mere inches away from her staring down at her, his eyes shooting ice at her. If Molly wasn't so mad already, she would have shrunk back in fear by the look in his eyes and the way he was talking to her. If she didn't know Sherlock as well as she did, should would have thought he was going to strike her. She wasn't about to back down.

"Mycroft told me, remember? I will NOT have this child being subjected to feeling like you did. "

"And what is that? "

"An inconvenience. " She said simply.

Sherlock sank down into the bed, suddenly exhausted.

"This child... Molly... you can't leave. "

Molly's anger drained from her as well looking at the confusion and doubt in his face. She knelt down in front of him.

"Sherlock, I love you. And you will always, always have me. But I have to protect this child. "

"Molly... I'm afraid. "

"Of what? "

"All Laura has been through. Its because of me. Its all my fault. "

"You didn't know, Sherlock. You know this time. And you can protect the baby. "

"Even from myself? Laura said she was afraid ...if she turned out like me. " His shoulders slumped.

"That hurt you, didn't it. "

Sherlock merely nodded, not trusting his voice.

"You aren't so bad, anymore. "

"Don't...leave. Please? I'll be better. I'll ... "

Molly, in her mind's eye, saw him as the hurt little boy he was inside. The one Mycroft had been the only one to see. The one that begged to be loved. Who never felt good enough for that privilege.

"Ok, Sherlock. I will be here. Me and the baby... you'll keep us safe. "

Sherlock laid back and pulled Molly up with him. He was shaking. Molly felt as Sherlock gave over and put his head to rest on her stomach. His voice sounded small and broke as when he finally spoke.

"What do you sense...about the child, Molly. Mothers instincts. "

"Sherlock... "

"Please. " She felt wetness on her stomach and knew he needed to hear. She closed her eyes and concentrated.

"I think... I think it will be a boy, Sherlock. And he will be beautiful. And smart. So smart, just like you. He will take up violin and he and Laura will play songs for you. And... " Molly's own voice shook.

"And what? " Sherlock whispered.

"...and he will always NEVER doubt that he is loved. "

mmmmmmmmmm

Sherlock stood now at the front door of his childhood home. Molly held one hand, Laura the other. Gabriel was tied to the car, allowing him to adjust to all the new smells.

"We should knock, Sherlock. " Molly nudged him. He nodded and pulled his hand away just long enough to knock twice.

A tall man answered the door. He had an easy smile when he saw Sherlock.

"You must me Sherlock. " He said warmly as he reached his hand out to shake. Sherlock responded.

"And you are? " Sherlock asked as the man motioned for them to come inside.

"I am Dr Mattheson. Your mothers physician. I can't tell you how your message has brightened her mood. "

"Doubtful. Is my brother here? "

"Yes. He's in the parlor. Follow me. "

"I know the way. " Sherlock mumbled, walking ahead of the doctor.

Molly seemed to remember to show manners in front of Laura.

"Dr. Mattheson, good to meet you, " She said, holding out her hand. " I am Dr. Molly Holmes. Sherlock's wife. And this, is Laura. Our daughter. "

Dr. Mattheson smiled down at the little girl.

"My my my, this will not do at all! " He said, giving her a once over with his eyes.

"What? " Laura regarded him with a frown.

"Looks to me like this little girl has a serious condition. I've seen it before. "

Molly recognized his tone having heard it from some of the pediatricians at Barts. She bit back a smile and tried to sound serious.

" Young lady, I do believe you have no-nonsense-itus. Do you concur, Dr. Holmes? "

"Oh, yes, Dr. Mattheson, Molly said, holding back a chuckle.

Laura looked from Molly back to the doctor.

"Am I going to die? " She asked wide eyed.

"Takes too many victims I am afraid, without proper medicine. "

"What medicine? "

"Well, only one I know of tends to work. " He looked at her and pulled out a small prettily wrapped item, putting it in her hand.

Laura looked at it and unwrapped it. She looked up oddly.

"Candy? "

"Yep. Best medicine in the world, in my opinion, for no-nonsense-itus. But I will warn you. It has the side effect of sometimes causing giggles, lots of energy...and of course, lower tolerance for tickling. "

Laura popped the candy in her mouth and smiled at the doctor. Dr. Mattheson made a face at her which caused her to giggle.

"See? Working already! Fine! Just fine! " He said smiling as he led the two girls towards the parlor.

When they came in the room, Sherlock and Mycroft were sitting across from each other in large wing chairs near a fireplace. Laura bounced over to Mycroft and crawled into his lap.

He accepted her quietly, holding her to his chest, and looking over her head at Sherlock. There seemed to be an unspoken conversation going on between them.

Dr. Mattheson cleared his throat.

"I will see that your bags are put in your rooms then I will take you to your mother, if that's alright. "

Sherlock nodded. Better to get this over with. Mycroft had one hand around Laura, the other dangling his ever present umbrella.

They were taken up a long staircase to a room Sherlock knew well. Dr. Mattheson led the way this time.

"Violet...look who's come to see you! " he said encouragingly.

Sherlock stepped into the room. It was a room he'd snuck into from time to time, as he wasn't allowed in there normally. He'd got over to her vanity and smell her perfumes. He wanted a sense of his mothers scent. He'd hoped to find comfort there, but never did.

She seemed so tall and imposing back then. Even while Sherlock was a teen. She always seemed to look down to him, in the rare cases she deemed to have him in her presence.

Now...she looked tiny and frail. A quick deduction and Sherlock concurred with Dr. Mattheson. She didn't have long.

Laura came from behind Molly and marched right up to her grandmothers bed, looking down at the old woman with curiosity.

"Hello there... " Violet said in a small voice.

"Hi. Im Laura. You're my gramma? "

"I am your grandmother, yes. " Violet smiled smally.

"Daddy looks like you. "

"So do you. You look just like your daddy when he was your age. "

"Cheekbones. " Laura shrugged. Violet actually laughed.

"Yes. And hair, and eyes... "

"and attitude and brains and... "

Violet laughed harder.

"...and lack of humility. "

Laura smiled at that.

"Is that why you didn't like him? " Laura asked suddenly serious.

Violets eyes started to wet.

"I know it is hard to believe, but even though I wasn't a got mother, I always loved your father. "

Laura looked at her funny. Violet reached for her hands.

"Child, can I have a little time alone with your father? There are things we need to talk about privately. "

"But... "

"Please? Can you come see me after lunch? I want to know all about you, my sweet girl. "

"OK. " Laura said, pouting. She walked away from the bed and motioned her father. Sherlock knelt down to get eye level with her.

She reached around and held the back of his head in her tiny hand, a finger pointed at him as she not so quietly whispered.

"Now be nice, daddy. "

Sherlock chuckled and promised solemnly he would. She grabbed him about the neck and he picked her up to hold her tight. His little girl made him so proud.

"I will see you soon, alright? " He said, accepting a kiss on his cheek

"Ok. I'm going to go see to Gabriel. "

"Dr. Mattheson, can you see to it Laura's pet is brought to the kitchens for something to eat? " Violet said from the bed.

All occupants left Sherlock and his mother alone. But Sherlock remained near the door, not quite meeting his mother's eyes.

"Come...sit by me, please. "

Sherlock expelled a breath and pulled a chair to the side of her bed. For a long while, Violets faded blue eyes looked him over.

"You've grown so handsome, my boy. "

"Hardly. "

"But you are. The fact that you don't see it makes you more so. "

"I recall once one of your friends asking if I had actually come naturally or if I had been beamed down from the mother ship. Said I looked like an alien. "

"You grew into your features. "

"What did you want to say. I don't know what there could be, after all this time. "

"I...I was ashamed. "

"Of me? "

"Of myself. The way I treated you... Sherlock, tell me. Do you love your wife? "

At the abrupt change of subject, Sherlock was stunned into answering.

"I love my wife very much, mother. "

"And she loves you? "

"Yes. More than I deserve. She loved me long before I saw it. "

"You didn't love her from the start. "

"I didn't know how to. "

"And now...how would you feel if she didn't want you anymore? "

"Mother...what the hell "

"Language, Sherlock. I am still your mother. "

"Sick. I would be sick. "

"I... always loved your father. Even when he was...cruel. He didn't marry me because he loved me. I knew that. I thought with time... but no. I don't really think now he ever did. "

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"I gave him a son. Mycroft. I thought that would make him happy. And it did in a masculine kind of way. But it didn't make him love me. "

"You don't have children to make someone love you. "

"Please... let me finish. "

Sherlock only nodded.

"You... your father had the son he wanted. Mycroft was always trying to please him. Didn't have much time for me. I was young... I didn't do right by him. By the time you came along, I knew I had done wrong with Mycroft. I wanted another try. To have a baby I could have to love me. I got your father drunk one night...and...well... "

"Moving on. "

"Yes. Right. When I told your father, he was furious. He wanted me to...he arranged with a doctor to see to an abortion. It wasn't so easy to get back then, not in our circles. It had to be kept secret. But... in the end, I refused. I did want you, Sherlock. Please believe that. But your father was so angry. He decided to punish me. That love I had for you turned into resentment. I didn't mean for it to. I had hoped... Well, none of that matters now. I just needed you to know that I DID always love you, and want you. "

"Then...why? Why did you let him... " He couldn't continue.

"As I said, I was trying to please him into loving me. It wasn't until it was too late that I realized it wouldn't work. By then, I was too ashamed of what I'd done, and let happen to you. All he saw you as was just another responsibility. "

Sherlock cringed inside, knowing that in the beginning, that's the way he saw Laura.

"Sherlock, I can never repay you for any of it. But I wanted the chance to see you again. See if you are indeed ok. I almost died when I'd read of your supposed suicide. Felt it was my fault. "

"It wasn't. It was a man named Moriarty. "

"Yes. And this Moriarty, you are sure he's dead. "

"He shot himself in front of me. "

"Oh God. My poor boy. "

"But his legacy pulls on. "

"What do you mean? "

Sherlock didn't know what came over him. He found himself telling her everything. Before he knew it, his head was in his hands. Violet reached out to stroke his head. It was strangely comforting to Sherlock He liked it when Molly and Laura did it. But there was something different when it came from one's mother.

"So, Laura... she is fine now? "

"I don't know. " Sherlock admitted lifting his head up, red eyes meeting his mothers. She had an odd look in them. " Dr. Stapleton believes there won't be any long term effects now that it is out of her system. We just have to keep her safe. Not allow anyone to harm her again. I need to make sure all the threats against her are done for. "

"I see. Until, neither she...or you... will ever be safe. Molly either, I suspect. "

"Yes. "

"There is something more, isn't there? "

"Mother, Molly is pregnant. I don't know how to protect all of them. I have to find and get rid of at least Moran. But we can't find him. How can I go all around looking for him and leaving Molly pregnant and alone with another small child to care for? "

" I understand. " Violet said, a little too calmly.

"I fear I am tired, Sherlock. Come back after lunch with Laura. I need to rest, alright? "

Sherlock stood and nodded.

"I don't think you will ever know how much I DO love you, my beautiful son. "

Sherlock nodded again, uncomfortably and turned, leaving the room.

Several long moments later, Dr. Mattheson came into the room. Violet was sitting up in bed.

"That must have gone well. You seem much improved. "

"Do shut up, Daniel, and bring me my old address book from my desk. I have work to do. "

Dr. Mattheson looked oddly at her, but did as he was bade. It was indeed an old book, scratched and worn with age. Looked to be at least fifty years old.

"Whatever are you doing, Violet. "

"Ensuring nothing and no one ever hurts my son or his family again. I have a legacy to protect. I cant change the past, but I CAN do everything I can to protect their futures. Now...leave until summoned. " She uttered imperiously. Dr Mattheson chuckled and left the room.

Picking up her phone she dialed the number written more recently in ink under a faded name.

"Eckhard? Its Violet Holmes. Yes yes, long time... listen, I don't have time for chit chat. I need you to do something for me. Your father, he still resides in Switzerland, no? "