Ok, have to go to work today kiddies, so no rapid posts today. :) But I will hopefully be able to keep the drive up.

Chapter 35

Molly couldn't sleep. For the past two days she tossed and turned in the bed. She tried to keep it together, for the sake of the children, but she didn't know how much more she could take.

She hadn't had any calls or updates for nearly a week, and she was getting scared. She had even taken to text Anthea to see if she'd heard anything. If she had, she wasn't forthcoming with the information.

Mary had virtually moved in. She kept a watchful eye on her friend. Holding her when she cried, and caring for all three children when Molly seemed unable to move. Molly felt bad. She knew Mary was worried for her husband too. Mary shrugged it off and said she got the safer bet, not marrying Sherlock Holmes. But both women knew too well, if Sherlock decided to plunge head first into hell, John would follow.

She looked down at her bed, Laura had taken to sleeping there at night on her fathers side, thinking it might help. Sweet girl.

But she wasn't a normal little girl. She was too much like her father and no matter how well Molly tried to hide her concern, or make it seem like he was just off on a difficult case, Laura knew different. Molly didn't tell her this was about Moran. But still, the girl knew something was different about this one.

Especially the lack of contact.

Addison went about his day as usual. He was so young. He didn't know any better. Sadly, Sherlock worked much since Addison's arrival, so he didn't know the difference. Not that Sherlock neglected affection with Addison. He was a loving father to both when he wasn't working.

Molly pushed the curtain aside to look out onto the grounds. It was early and a bit foggy, bit it was lovely. She started to take a deep breath when she heard a groan come from the bed.

"mmmmmom...light... "

Molly looked over at the bed to see Laura's face planted in the pillow, one big blue eye squinting where the light hit it.

"Oh, sorry, love. " She said, putting the curtain back in place. "Go back to sleep. "

"I don't want to. " Laura said sitting up and pulling her knees up to her chin.

"Still having bad dreams? " Molly sat beside her and rubbed her back.

"Same one. Always the same. "

"Can't find daddy? "

"I know he's there. Its just dark and I can't see him. He can't hear me calling for him. "

"You've been having this dream since you were four. "

"Before. "

"What? "

" I had them in that house. Before I met my dad. I just didn't know till later who I was looking for. "

"Interesting. How long before? "

"Dunno. I can't remember not having it. But I found daddy, and I'm six now. Why won't they stop? "

"Have you talked to Daniel about them? "

"No. "

"Well, perhaps you should. At any rate, sometime when you can go back to regular school, maybe the routine will help. "

"Daddy said I didn't have to go to one of those places. Said there are not nice people there. "

"Bullies? "

"Yes. "

"Yes, well, there will be bullies everywhere in life. You socialize with almost no one but adults. You need to learn how to make friends your own age. I will talk to your father as soon as he...comes home. "

Laura caught the look that passed Molly's features but said nothing.

The day went along as usual. It wasn't long before Addison was buzzing around and Mary slid into her spot on the couch to feed Maggie while Molly prepared breakfast.

"I am thinking of returning to Barts. " Molly said suddenly.

"Are you sure? " Mary asked, not sure how Sherlock was going to like that.

"Not really. I love being home and taking care of the children. But Laura and Addison should be in ... they need to be around more children. And while they are gone, I won't have much to do. I miss working, especially helping Sherlock solve his cases. "

"I can understand. But, not till we know its safe. "

"Where Moran is concerned, who knows when we will ever be safe. "

Molly gripped the counter and stared into the sink.

Would they ever feel safe again?

Molly decided to change the subject.

"We are supposed to visit Violet this weekend. Come with? "

"Oh I'd love to! That woman is always great fun. Are you sure her husband isn't going to be there? "

"Yes. Since Violets...recovery...he is off doing his own thing again. "

"I don't see why she doesn't just divorce that arse! "

"She explained that. Since the fortune is hers, and he hasn't had a real job since marrying her, he could slam her for alimony. Right now he is on an...allowance...shall we say. When she does eventually pass on, he will get pretty much nothing. "

"And that will surely make him worse than ever. "

"I don't think Sherlock or Mycroft care. Not like he's been much of a father to them. And after what he put Violet through, Im not sure he's much of a human being. "

They all sat down and ate in companionable silence. Laura ate slowly every once in a while placing her fork down and rubbing her temples.

"Headache? " Mary asked, concerned.

Laura merely nodded.

"She gets them from time to time. Just like Sherlock. Usually dealing with the mind palace. Perhaps something needing to be deleted. "

Laura looked up.

"I have a mind castle. Daddy said since I am a princess I have to have a castle. "

"True. But dad's is a palace, and he's not a prince. He's more like...like a... " Molly couldn't find the right word. Mary supplied one.

"Diva? "

"Yes! That's it! " And the girls dissolved into laughter.

Just as Molly was washing dishes, she saw a car pull up through the kitchen window. Looked like one of Mycroft's. She smiled, hoping it was news. But when the car door opened, and John came out, she froze, her eyes going to his legs.

He was limping.

Molly let the glass she was washing slip from her fingers and smash in the sink.

"Molly? Are you ok? " Mary came running in. She followed Molly's line of sight. Joy filled her being at the sight of her husband, until she saw what Molly had.

"Molly... "

"Where is Sherlock? "

"Molly, lets go talk to... "

"Why isn't he with John? "

"Molly, please... lets go see, ok? "

Molly ran to the door, Mary on her heels. John stopped as the woman flung open the door and ran towards him.

"John... where is Sherlock? "

John opened his mouth to speak, but words escaped him. But Molly could read him. He looked like he had aged, not slept and had lost at least ten pounds.

"John...please. "

John opened his mouth again, but at that moment, Laura came bounding from the house. He watched her walk towards them and closed his eyes.

"Molly...God, I am sorry. "

"No. Where is he John... " Molly said, grabbing his shirt and shaking him.

"DAMN YOU! Tell me where he is! "

"Im sorry...im so bloody sorry! "

"No no no no no no no " Molly chanted, collapsing to the ground, pulling John down with her.

mmmmmmmmmm

There was no funeral. None of them could handle another one. Besides, as John and Mycroft explained, there was no body.

John had seen him fall. He and Moran had toppled off the cliff to the rocks and water below. The storm had continued for days afterward. Made it hard to see anything. But a drop like that... John assure her there was no chance of survival.

Molly tried to reason. Sherlock had done this before. But John also reminded her that he didn't have a plan this time.

Laura reacted robotically. She insisted if there was no body, her father was still alive somewhere. It was logic, to a childs mind, even a superior one. She had reverted back to the child she had been when she arrived in London. Cold, not playing or laughing. She would sit for hours, trying to solve the case, so to speak.

Daniel spent a good deal of time with her. It was then that she spoke of the nightmares.

"So you see? Its like the dream. He fell and was hurt. It was dark and no one could see him and he couldn't hear them. But I always wake up, and daddy shows up. He always turns up. He will again. "

Molly wanted that to be true. But she knew better than to hope. It had been a month now. If Sherlock were alive, he wouldn't have allowed them to worry so. He would have found some way to contact them. Moran's body was found washed up against the rocks. Sherlock's it is assumed, was washed out to sea. Fitting burial, for a pirate, she thought, as she sat at the table, unable to eat. John eyed her cautiously.

"Damn him! " Molly shouted suddenly, slamming her hands on the table. " Why did he have to go off alone! Always put the weight of the whole fucking world on his shoulders alone. Arrogant son of a bitch! How could he just leave us like that? " Molly turned firey eyes at John who learned to keep it as simple as possible.

"I don't think it ever occurred to him he could lose. "

"Lose? Moran is dead. HE won. WE lost. He won his battle and left us with the ashes! Selfish! just...selfish " She whispered harshly.

John looked over at Mary. As doctors, they knew Molly was going through the stages of grief, just as Laura was. Laura's they didn't know what to expect, as she was far from average. But they were going to stay put until all was accepted.

mmmmmmmmmm

Mycroft sat beside his mother. She looked like she had aged a decade. He was genuinely concerned her grief had truly put her on the path of decline. But this time, instead of wasting away in her centuries old bed, she was working herself to death.

She handled the news worse this time than the last, Daniel had told her. But she was going remarkably quickly through her grief. Moran may be dead, but there was still the rest of the network to deal with. And Violet was damned if she was going to let her youngest son's symphony go unfinished.

Knowing his mother's contacts well out rivaled his own, he let her do her work. He went down to the dining room, needing a very strong cup of tea. Anthea was already down there, her phone in her hand, as usual. But instead of texting away, she was staring straight ahead. It didn't take long for Mycroft to see why.

There, sitting at the head of the table...was Siger.

mmmmmmmmmm

Cold rain beat painfully against a pair of high cheekbones, causing cold blue eyes to squint against it. They were scanning the waves as the crashed against the boat. His grip firm around the ropes, keeping his balance. His free hand absently wiping water out of his thick beard.

" Storm will be dying out now. But there are ice warnings. You'll want to come inside now, sir." A voice from behind him called out in french.

"No thank you. I think I will ride it out. " He replied fluently

"But sir... Captain said you still need to be in bed. "

"I don't need bed, I need air. "

"You've a stronger stomach than I, sir. "

"I may not know my name, but I think it's clear I belong to the sea, Luc. "

"Yessir. I do believe you do. "

The man looked over the water again. The sea was endless. So why was he looking for something within its expanse?

By God, he would find out.