7. Born Again
What happened next felt as natural and logical as breathing: Severus couldn't believe the warmth and softness of her skin; the way her body responded to every touch, every kiss. He'd never known anything could be this wonderful. He felt like he was drowning, dying, being reborn again in a world of beauty and ecstasy that he'd been cut off from all his life. She introduced him to sensations he'd never known existed and feelings he thought he'd long ago lost forever. He realized that he was trembling like a frightened child in her arms; although he was now 16 years her senior, he was afraid that his lack of experience would leave her unfulfilled. He tried to pull back just for a moment, to look into her eyes for reassurance, but she wouldn't have it. He took that to mean she was enjoying herself, and resumed his efforts in earnest. There wasn't an inch of her body that he didn't explore, or an inch of his that she ignored. By the time they were through, they were too breathless to speak, and had energy only to entwine their bodies together beneath the sheets and fall asleep in each other's arms.
When they awoke, it was grudgingly, and neither one wanted to emerge from their warm cocoon.
"Good morning, my lovely, lovely Lily," Severus whispered, resting his lips on her forehead.
"Good morning," she smiled. "Did you sleep well?"
"Better than I can ever remember doing before."
Lily blushed furiously and smiled up at him.
"Now I feel like I'm the one who's dreaming," she whispered. "I don't think I've ever heard anyone say such beautiful things to me."
Severus beamed and began slowly tracing his fingertips in patterns across her skin. He could see goose bumps rising and falling in waves, and her breathing grew faster and heavier. She curled into him and pressed her body against his.
"I could spend my eternity happily saying beautiful things to you, and making you feel the way you made me feel last night," he breathed in her ear.
Lily bit her lip and closed her eyes, losing herself in the electrical sensation of his touch. She'd never known he could be so seductive; she was beginning to wonder if she'd ever really known him at all. He was so gentle, so eager to please; it was almost as if he were doing all of this for the first time and was afraid of disappointing her.
"Severus…" she breathed.
He caressed her cheek and her jawbone and kissed the corners of her mouth and the tip of her nose.
"Aren't you exhausted?" she chuckled softly.
"A little," he admitted, burying his face in her hair and rolling over on top of her, "but your body is absolutely intoxicating. I've waited a lifetime for the chance to be here with you, and I've never wanted anyone else."
So this was his first experience with a woman. She was almost frightened by his intensity, but she realized that he was afraid she was going to disappear. Where before he'd relied on her to guide him, he now assumed full control. He marveled at how well they fit together; almost as if they'd been made for each other. He lost himself in the expressions on her face, and the way her body reacted to his. When he felt her stiffen in his arms, he released her gently and lowered himself onto the bed beside her.
"Now," he gasped, "I'm exhausted."
Lily broke into a fit of giggles, and Severus couldn't help but join her; even her laughter was contagious.
She rolled over and propped herself up on her elbow facing him.
"Severus," she said slowly, suddenly serious, "you have no idea how much I wish we could stay here forever; but there's a war going on out there, and my son…"
Like a light switch turning on in his head, he suddenly remembered the rest of his final conversation alone with Dumbledore. He sat up and pushed his hair back away from his face, sighing deeply.
"Lily, I'm afraid Harry may never be able to trust me, but Albus made me swear to pass a message on to him when the time came."
He suddenly caught sight of his forearm in the candlelight and raised it so he could study it for a moment.
"You were summoned more than once while you were unconscious. I cast a spell on the house to make it look like you'd abandoned it."
She sat up and moved closer to him.
"He'll think I've deserted him," Severus whispered.
"Good," Lily replied shortly.
He looked up at her quizzically.
"Dumbledore sent me here to find you. He said that he was wrong, and that killing him had put your life in more danger than before."
"So you came here to convince me to flee?"
Lily took his hand and looked him in the eye.
"Considering the condition you were in when I arrived, I'd say it's the most intelligent decision you could make for yourself right now."
Severus had nearly forgotten Lily's stubbornness, and as he looked into her eyes once more, the expression in them told him that his decision had already been made.
"Thank you for saving my life," he replied softly.
"It's the least I could do," she smiled, squeezing his hand.
"But now, my dear, I believe it's time we get out of this bed, clean ourselves up and go help our friends."
Severus nodded in agreement and stood up as swiftly as his body would allow; he'd always stayed in fairly decent shape, but two weeks in bed topped with two rounds of love making made him feel as though all his joints and muscles had turned to jelly.
"Perhaps I'd better take a nice, hot shower first. It seems as though my body could use it."
Lily chuckled and glanced around the room, a look of guilt on her face. "Then I might as well tell you that I remodeled the bathroom as well…"
Severus hobbled his way into what had been his cramped bathroom and lit the candles on his walls with a flick of his wand. His eyes widened as he saw what Lily had meant by "remodeled:"
She'd obviously cast an Undetectable Extension Charm on the inside of the room, because he was now able to move around quite comfortably inside. She'd changed the color of the walls to pale grey with dark green pinstripes, and every fixture in sight glinted silver in the candlelight. His towels were no longer musty, nor were they falling apart in his hands as he carried one over to his new shower. As he stepped inside and turned on the hot water, he realized with a smile that he could get used to having a talented witch around to take care of him.
When he stepped out into the steam-filled room, his body felt infinitely better than before. He toweled himself off and stepped up to wipe the steam off the mirror over the sink. Apparently his house was not the only thing Lily had transfigured; the face in the mirror was of a man he hardly recognized. It was still his face, but it had changed a great deal in the past two weeks. His eyes were no longer sunken and sallow; for the first time in his life, they looked bright and warm and had actually lightened to a warm chocolate brown. His skin had taken on a warm glow, and he realized with satisfaction that he no longer looked older than he was; rather, he looked as young as he felt. His hair was still pulled back from when he'd washed it, and he realized that it made him look less ragged. He dried it with his wand and tied it back with a small silver band. A few stubborn strands still dangled around his face, but it was a vast improvement from his old hairstyle. With a flick of his wand, he banished the stubble from his cheeks and jaw and admired the improvement Lily had made; he didn't think he'd ever had a reason to smile without her in his life, and now he was certain that he'd never be able to stop smiling again. His task complete, he turned from the mirror and returned to his bedroom.
Lily looked up from cleaning up the potion supplies scattered everywhere and he smiled inwardly at the look of surprise on her face.
"Severus?" she whispered, "I hardly recognize you."
She walked over and caressed his freshly shaved cheek, toying with the strand of hair dangling there.
"Thanks to you, I'm a new man," he replied, causing a deep blush to appear on her cheeks.
She moved her hands down to his shoulders and stepped back with a smile as she realized he was wearing nothing but a towel.
"I think becoming a new man means you've earned some new clothes."
He glanced down and chuckled. "As grateful as I am for the improved surroundings, I think I'd like to try my hand at improving my own wardrobe."
Lily smiled brightly. "I think that sounds fairly reasonable; it will give me a chance to get back in that shower…"
When she emerged in her own cloud of steam a little while later, it was to find Severus wearing a pair of black hiking boots, well-fitting black cargo pants and an untucked forest green t-shirt. Lily was in awe.
"Careful, Sev," she joked, "I think you're in danger of becoming the handsomest professor in Hogwarts history."
He sneered as her comment reawakened old feelings of contempt. "I'm afraid my dear that most of my former students would insist that position has already been filled."
"Oh?" Lily replied, suppressing a giggle "by whom?"
"Gilderoy Lockhart," he spat the name as if it were poison on his tongue, and looked up as he heard giggling coming from over his shoulder. Lily was in hysterics, and the sight of her standing there in a towel with her soft copper curls cascading gently over her shoulders was enough to soften his demeanor once more.