Greetings, my lovelies.
After a long, excruciating wait, I reward your patience and love with another chapter!
Hopefully, by now, you are all acquainted with the Cybertronian terminology I use in this fic. If not….
Body parts (all approximate, and the anatomical chart I use for my stories):
Hands = Servos
Arms = Support Servos
Legs = Stabilizing Servos
Tongue = Glossa
Feet = Landing Pads
Shoulders and Knees = Shoulderpads and kneepads, respectively
Eyes = Optics
Fingers = Digits
Hips = Pistons
Lips = Vocal Labi
Mouth = Vocal Receptor
Ears = Audio Receptor
Neck = Chassis Pillar
Torso/Chest = Chassis
Body = Frame/Shell
Brain = Processor
Sections of brain = Lobes
And time (all approximate, and the chronological chart I use for my stories):
Any time less than a second = Microklik
Second = Nanoklik
Minute = Klik
8.3 Minutes = Breem
Hour = Cycle
6 Hours = Joor
Day (both day and night) = Solar Cycle
Week = Decacycle
Month = Orbital Cycle
6 Months/Half a Stellar Cycle = Orn
Year = Stellar Cycle
83 Years = Vorn
Approx. 100 years = Megacycle
Hope this helps.
I figured, a little after I put up the new chapter on DeviantArt, I should explain what the fudge my weird chapter titles mean.
I say "HA! Figure it out for yourselves!"
No really. I can only give you definitions of words and whatnot. What the titles mean to you, what you get from every chapter, only you will know first what it means. But, just for fun:
'Quantum' has different meanings, coming mostly from a Latin phrase meaning 'how great', but the definitions are as follows =
1. A quantity or amount.
2.A specified portion.
3.Something that can be counted or measured.
And 'Absence' =
1.The state of being away.
2.The time during which one is away.
3.Lack; want: an absence of leadership.
Now, go on and enjoy the new chapter!
~Ylysha
Disclaimer: Transformers, and anything relate to it, is not mine. Neither is the pairing. I just ship it hard.
_
I am concerned.
After Perceptor's deletion of emotions, Wheeljack was never the same. Very quiet, particularly in close proximity to the famed scientist. He used to ramble about whatever scientific mumble-jumble, to the point it nearly drove me crazy every time I'd hear him talk. Or until he blew up.
But now? That same somber expression and silence every time I'd hear any mention of the microscope.
"How-how is Perceptor?"
Ironic. Now Wheeljack's the one not speaking.
"He's….okay. He's doing pretty well. Like, no health problems or anything. He's fine. He's perfectly fine. Never been better since the….since deleting his emotions. Yeah. Fine."
"Sure."
In honesty I am not so sure. My experience on Earth has taught me how to detect liars. Or, at least, when a bot….or a human….or a techno-organic...isn't telling everything. Good experience, one of the few things I miss about Earth.
"What could…..push him to do that?"
"He thought….he thought emotions were of little use in the field of science. I…I tried to convince him otherwise. Oh well. He won't have to ever worry about feeling anything like worry, or concern, or sparkbreak, or anger, or frustration, or anything like that."
Wheeljack takes his optics off the empty cube long enough to look at me. I was right. He was hiding something, and it's burdening him more than I thought.
"Was it because of you? Did you convince him?"
"He convinced himself. He…never told me about it. Never did let me know. Probably because he knew that I'd try to stop him somehow. He wiped his emotions because he thought they were a burden to his work to the Autobot cause. Well, it's really gonna suck if he remembers why he deleted them, but doesn't have the feelings to understand his decision. Percy's an extremist, pure and simple." He looked up at me with remorseful optics.
"Though, naturally, I didn't help."
I break away from his gaze and stare at my empty cube. "He was also stuck in the Guild Scientius for most of his life. He's a recluse, with little desire to interact with other bots. Few bots go through his laboratories. Who had such an influence on him? What could've happened that he would think that? It's emotion that grounds the Autobot cause and gives it meaning, it's emotion that gives you reason for helping other bots, emotion that, at the very least, keeps you from violating your own sense of self. Perceptor did away with all that just to be a better scientist?"
"I know you don't like scientists too much, Ratchet, but under the titles of Council and Ministry of Science and Project Omega and things like that, we're all Cybertronians here, trying to make the best of what's happening around us. Or at least trying to understand. Perceptor experienced a lot of things in the Guild, more than you'll ever know. Haven't you ever had that happen, where somebot whom you think you have almost nothing to do with or relate on, turns out to change your life forever?..."
He's speaking, but I can only sense his vocal receptor going and going. All I can do is remember. Remember that solar cycle on the battlefield, and the Decepticon chemist I helped. Remember activating Omega Supreme, one of the most dangerous Autobots ever manufactured. Remember Arcee, and how she affected me for the rest of my life. Remember Optimus Prime, and Bulkhead, and Bumblebee, and Prowl, and Sari, the most mismatched bots of the universe.
Remember the chaos. Remember the end result. Remember the lessons I've learned.
More than meets the optic. Or, as humans would say it, "More than meets the eye."
My reverie is broken by Wheeljack gently easing my empty cube out of my servo.
"I'll leave you to your thoughts for now, and just get more high grade."
"Th-you do that", I say, and he leaves.
Leaves me all alone in a deep blue room with my thoughts.
Has it been so long since I've truly been on this planet?
There's so much I still don't know.
Suddenly Cybertron doesn't feel so familiar anymore.
Quantum of Absence
or
A story of catching up gone wrong, the memory of a sister-in-arms, a furious femme, her remorseful apprentice, two inventors, further explanations, the measures of a millennium past, and a plan of restitution.
{Three orbital cycles after the return of Optimus Prime from Earth}
[Iacon Convoy Apartments Complex, Cybertron]
"So…this is nice."
It's hard to believe a Prime is speaking to me this way. And I'm not stupid. I know that Optimus is trying to smooth me down after the interrogation by several members of the Council. Trying to calm me down. I appreciate it.
"Yeah."
Doesn't mean I like it.
"Having you back, I mean. It's been so long. I'm sure there's a lot of things you want to know right now."
I glare at him.
"Yes. Like, how the frag did SENTINEL become ACTING MAGNUS? What the PIT was the Council thinking when they chose him? What was Ultra Magnus thinking when they choose him? Where the frag were you all that time?"
"I was sentenced to a maintenance crew after….the incident-"
"-after Elita went missing-"
"-no, after Elita-went offline- Chromia, why must you bring it up?-"
"-you mentioned it first, you idiot-"
"-she's GONE now! No longer among us. Let it go."
He suddenly draws back from the iciest glare I throw at him. Good. He deserves it.
"A thousand stellar cycles, Fu-ture Ab-sol-lute. A thousand stellar cycles of searching for her. Leaving behind my home, my loved ones, Ironhide-I did NOT fragging leave to look for someone who is dead! I did NOT fragging drag four other femmes with me, with their own lives and problems, to look for someone who is dead! I did not go through four galaxies, nearly offline on twenty-four planets, and put my girls through it all to find someone who is dead!"
He dumbly stares at me.
"I know that everyone has accepted that Elita-1 is dead and gone, but you and I both know that is a heap of SLAG. She is alive, somewhere, somehow, and as soon as we've got everything here, my girls and I will leave this planet to find her! We'll leave this doomed planet to BURN beneath Sentinel's servo!"
"Chromia!"
I face him completely now, pulling my servos off of the railing on the balcony of his new living space.
"What? Don't like it? It's the truth, isn't it? Even as we speak, Sentinel is still the cause of turmoil within the Autobots-"
"-He will NO LONGER BE ACTING MAGNUS!"
My vocal receptor hangs open mid-rant. Optimus' servos clench tighter around the rail.
"Sentinel won't be Acting Magnus anymore. The Council came to me a few solar cycles before your return, and…..they talked with me about Sentinel's…..progress….as Acting Magnus…."
"So they asked if you could replace him."
"How-? How did you…..?"
"I figured out pretty quickly. You're that transparent."
"Am I?"
"Yes. But don't worry. It just means if you're doing something wrong, it'll be easier to tell you. And besides", I say, turning around and perching myself on the rail we're leaning up against, "If what I hear is true, and you did manage to keep an entire team safe on….what was that planet again….?"
"Earth?"
"Thank you. Yeah…..if you've managed to keep your entire team in good shape, and alive, while on a strange planet, you can't be that bad of a leader. I would know." I look over at him, feeling strangely content with myself right now. "My girls are online and well after all the slag I put them through, so I must've been doing something right."
"Then tell me. Tell me what you've been doing right, because despite my best efforts, not all of my team members made it to Cybertron online."
Immediately my spark sinks to my landing pads. The ninja known as Prowl. He died on that planet. Firestar told me. I knew him. Poor mech.
"Hmm. This would be the time I tell someone like you to suck it up…except I honestly don't know what you're going through. I can only empathize with you losing a team member. If I lost one of my girls…..I dunno, I almost did. Many times. I knew Prowl….though you probably knew him better….and if he were here, he'd probably agree when I say that you'd be a much better leader than ole Planet-chin."
"Do you really believe so?"
"Oh, yeah. I do."
"Well, I refused."
"Refused what?"
"Being Acting Magnus."
I stare at him.
He glances back.
I punch him in the faceplates.
"YOU IDIOT!"
A thousand stellar cycles, that punch would've been enough to send him collapsing into a heap on the ground. But now, he manages to take it well, staggering back only a little. Bracing himself against the chair he was sitting in a few kliks ago, not a sound of pain escapes him. He simply holds the side of his faceplates I cracked open, and looks at me with unchanged optics.
"Why?"
"Because…", he whispers, "….I am not ready."
My temper flares up again, but I bite my fist to keep it from flying into the other side of his faceplates.
"FRAG BEING READY! You think I was ready to lose my best friend, my sister-in-arms? You think Elita was ready to be forgotten by everyone, never to be searched for, left behind? You think Cybertron was ready for a leader like Sentinel? FRAG BEING READY! I ought to hit you again; maybe then you'd get it through your thick processor that the Autobots need a new leader!"
"Ultra Magnus is still online-"
"-Not for much longer, if Sentinel had his way-"
"-Chromia, while I don't deny Sentinel may not be the best of Autobots, he is not the worse either, and you judging him unfairly like that-"
"-You think my opinion is based on my mere dislike of him?"
"You've only been here four solar cycles!"
"You learn a lot in four solar cycles, Optimus." I look away from him, and set my gaze upon all of Iacon, the capital of the Autobots. The vast landscape, the colorful lights, and that familiar purple-pink lights that led bots in the know to Maccadam's Old Oil House. The bots walking to and fro, and the sounds of life passing by.
How could these bots live with…..Sentinel….as their leader? I never liked that slagger.
"I learned a lot in four solar cycles. I learned about what he's done to the Old Oil House. And the curfews. And I've learned about how he behaved when the Council wasn't exhaling down his chassis pillar. I've learned about the Jet Twins, and Jazz and Prowl, and the Deceptions he supposedly captured, and the propaganda involving Ultra Magnus-"
"-He's trying to protect the Autobots!"
"While abusing whatever dignity Ultra Magnus had left? While downgrading your part in, well, anything you've helped him with? You've been letting him do whatever he wanted. You and Elita-1 both-"
"-you will NOT talk about Elita that way!"
"Offended? It's true! I told her this before she disappeared! Both you and 'Lita let Planet-Chin do whatever he wanted, and now all of Cybertron has followed in your steps! All to keep your friendship with him! What sort of fragging friendship is that?"
"A complicated one!" He carefully makes his way to me, no longer cradling the broken side of his faceplates, but simply allowing energon to flow down in little drops. He hangs his head with a loud sigh. "You don't understand sacrifice-"
My knee joint flies into his stabilizing servo.
"-I understand it very well, Optimus! You and I both know that being a leader requires sacrifice. Great sacrifices. More than you'd ever think. Heavier than you'd ever thought possible." This blow, while it doesn't cause him to crumple, does cause him to bend over in agony.
"But becoming Pro Temporare Magnus in place of Sentinel will require only one sacrifice: your friendship with him. Cut the wires. We'll all be better off without him, including-no-especially you. You can't afford to please and include everyone, Optimus. If Sentinel cares only about himself, then that's all he'll ever need to care about. We don't need somebot that doesn't care about our cause."
The red and blue bot straightens himself up. "Everyone is worth saving, Chromia. Everyone is worth including in a world where there's no war. My name is Optimus for a reason."
"I'm wondering if old mech Kup was in his right mind when he gave you all your names. Your name fits, and so does Elita's, but Sentinel…..Jerkaft would've been much more appropriate. Jerkaft Prime. Yeah. Much more fitting. The archaic term for 'guard' just doesn't fit him. No one would've ever let him be Magnus."
"I honestly can't believe you right now, Chromia."
A cold smirk pulls at my vocal labi. "That's a first."
"What?"
"You being completely honest with me. Any other bot being real honest with me. Slag, it's hard sometimes, for my own apprentice to be honest with me. Speaking of which, where the Pit is Moonracer? She and the rest of my girls are probably worried sick right now. How long have I been interrogated?"
"Um, about a solar cycle. And as for Moonracer, well, she went to the Guild Scientius-"
"-I-I'm sorry, what was that?"
"The Guild Scientius, Chromia."
"…You're not serious."
"She asked me directions a few cycles ago. The orange and purple bot-Lancer, I think her name was-said she'd tell you."
"…."
"…Chromia?"
"…FRAGGIT!"
"Wha-? Why? What's wrong?
"Fragging scientists, that's what's wrong!"
"You…..alright, YOU can't be serious! It's been a thousand stellar cycles past. All those rumors of corrupted scientists…..dear Primus, Chromia, let it go! They were just rumors!"
I am already halfway out his apartment. I swing around incredulously to look at him.
The pitiful mech. He doesn't know. He doesn't know about the Guild's Projects, or the techno-organic craze that swept scientists on both factions, or the hundreds of experiments resulting in disabled, insane, or offline bots because of that one bot. Because of the words that came of the vocal receptor of that one bot, many other innocent bots suffered. Many of my friends and other noble Autobots nearly lost everything because of that. And no one knows about it all, because of the power of that one bot.
"Just rumors?", I manage to hiss. "You had no idea, Optimus Prime. But you will know. Soon enough. And when you do, you will never be the same."
A tense silence passes. He has nothing more to say to me, so I whirl around and walk out the door. But just before I leave the apartments, I hear him, but I don't turn to acknowledge him.
"A thousand stellar cycles has made you sparkless, Chromia", he murmurs, rather sadly.
"A thousand stellar cycles has made you soft, Optimus", I retort.
I exit the complex, transform, and drive off in the direction of the Guild.
Optimus Prime. Can't believe I once pegged him as one of the good Autobots. If he was kicked out of the Academy like me, he was never forced to be in a place he didn't want to, because of something he didn't do, like me. He didn't nearly offline on another planet, fighting for his life, because of some idiotic little thing, like me.
Well, frag him. Frag them all.
The world passes me by in a blur, and I find myself at the entrance of the Guild. I transform back into bot mode and begin pounding on the doorway.
"Open up! It's Chromia Minor of Iacon! I need to come inside right now, or I'll-"
The doors slide open with a hiss. A familiar mint-green femme greets me.
"Moonie? What the frag happened?"
"Wha-what do you mean?"
She's been my apprentice for one thousand, six hundred, thirty-seven stellar cycles. Cramped in the same living quarters I have been for a thousand of those stellar cycles. Does she honestly think, after all that time, I wouldn't be able to see that she had been crying?
Moonie's such an emotional bot. Able to keep herself together, alright, but jaAm, if she's been in any emotionally-fueled outbursts, whether angry or sad, or something in between, by Primus, you could see it a kilometre away.
"You've been optic-leaking."
She will not meet my optics.
"Don't lie to me now."
She lifts her head, and I see it. The signs of very subtle corrosion near the coolant-duct of the optics. Usually really fragging obvious, to the trained optic, after a bot's been crying, due to the coolant being warm enough and usually containing sodium.
"Why? What happened?", I ask as motherly as I can, since gentility is not my forte.
The answer that slips past her vocal labi freezes my energon.
"It's Perceptor. He…..he threw me out."
My vision runs red, like a Decepticon's optics, and I suddenly begin groping places on my shell where I usually keep my guns.
Slag. They stripped me of all my firearms. Doesn't stop me from angrily searching.
"No! 'Mia, I know what you're thinking….'that sparkless fragger I'm gonna offline him'….you've got it all wrong….'MIA HE DOESN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING! Now STOP IT!"
"What sort of slag is that?", I retort. That son of a glitch. He thinks just because he knows everything, he can feign amnesia just to frag with my apprentice's processor.
"It's not slag, I promise you."
The new voice is masculine. The source is Wheeljack, calmly walking over to us from wherever he came from.
"No?"
"No, Chromia. It's not." He throws me a somewhat tired look edged with a bit of anger. Turning to Moonracer, he sighs. "Perceptor deleted his emotions."
"Not like he needed them", I mutter.
Moonracer gives me an appalled look, one that is half sorrow and half shocked. Wheeljack's look is the complete opposite: his anger, though it never manifests physically, blazes in his optics. Looking back at Moonie, I feel a twist of….something…..in my own spark. Guilt? Is it guilt?
I don't like it.
"Why?", Moonracer whispers, looking back at Wheeljack. My spark twists more. The engineer holds his pissed look at me, then turns on his communicator.
"Ironfist? Yeah, it's me. Look, if it's possible, can you get some medium-grade down here? Yeah, purple ones are fine. You can? Great. Please bring 'em down to the entrance of the Guild. One for yourself, too. Remember that story I told you? Yeah…you're not the only one that needs an explanation. No, it'll be-okay, thanks. You're the greatest apprentice a bot can have." He clicks it off, then looks back at Moonie.
"Perceptor deleted his emotions, like I've said before. In the process, I….don't really know how it happened, but-he lost some of his memory as well. I've tried finding a way to reverse the process, mostly the memory loss part. I know how close the two of you were. He…..he felt absolutely terrible for what happened after you left. I tried to talk him out of it, but-"
"-Percy's an extremist. I know. Oh, Primus", she chokes out, looking away.
"I'm….I am so sorry. Really I am. I'm still working at it, but I'm just as hopeless as I was when I started."
Moonracer is too shocked to say anything else. She simply covers her vocal receptor with her servo. I see the coolant gathering at her optics.
"Where is that son of a glitch? I am going to offline him", I blurt, though I feel no remorse for my words. Wheeljack fixates me with the hardest look I've ever seen from him.
"I appreciate your honesty, Chromia, but not your intention to cause any harm to my partner…even if he does deserve a kick in the head for it."
"He deserves more than a kick, 'Jack", I growl.
"Who deserves more than a kick?", a new voice pipes up, which attracts everyone's attention.
How the frag did we not hear Ironfist opening the entrance? I don't know too much of Wheeljack's apprentice, but he speaks with an interesting accent that faintly reminds me of Ironhide's. The novice holds a little tray of four energon cubes, three purple, one pink.
Wheeljack and I quickly glance at one another. What do we say? What do we do? The answer comes through Moonracer, and, once again, it's not one that I like.
"Me. I deserve more than a kick. I…I didn't even think…"
She breaks off with a shake of her head. Ironfist walks closer to us and soothingly pats her on the shoulderpad. I feel horrible that she lied to cover it up, but now was not the time for the younger inventor to know.
"Well, that's strange. Why'd you say 'he' instead of 'she', or 'you', for that reason? I think….ah, never mind what I think. Here, have this pink cube. I'm sure what you did, or thought you did, could've been that bad."
"She's the Sharpshooter, Wrecker."
"Oh, I know she's a sharpshooter-"
"-the story, Ironfist. I'm talking about the story."
"Story…?...oh! That story. Then, is the Scientist-?"
"-Yes. Perceptor. He's the one."
"Oh." This statement sounds hollow, and it's followed with a pregnant silence as he gives both his mentor and I a purple cube.
"Oh. OH!"
I look at Wheeljack. "What story?"
The younger inventor takes a long sip from his cube. "'Jack once told me a thinly disguised story about how Percy and Moonie became friends, since I started working in the Guild only after the Great War. And…..what happened to them. I don't really know everything, but I do know that Moonracer left with you, Chromia, to go look for Elita-1, while Perceptor was left alone here. I don't why, but he didn't come to me or Wheeljack for help or anything. I began noticing after Project Omega, how weird he was acting. And also how more introverted he became. He….was drinking a lot after you left, Moonie. I would usually be the one to deliver high-grade to his quarters if Wheeljack couldn't do it. It was…quite a lot. He didn't want to talk to anyone, and there was that one time I heard him yell at Red Alert and Hoist. Red Alert left, and-"
"-You're not helping my already emotionally-wrecked apprentice, Ironfist!" My patience is wearing thin, and watching Moonie looking sadder and sadder makes my spark twist until it feels like an actual injury instead of a simple feeling.
"Look, I'm just reiterating what happened after she left. Why, Moonracer? What did you say to Percy? Or what did you do? Maybe if I take you to him now, you can apologize and sort things out, and then-"
"Your mentor's partner does not remember a single thing!"
It stops the younger bot. "What?"
I fold my support servos across my chassis. "You heard me."
He looks over at his beloved mentor, whose head hangs low. You deserve it.
"Is this true? This is the part of the story you never wanted to tell me, isn't it?"
Just tell him the truth, Wheeljack. Then we can all put this behind, my apprentice can forget your slagger of a partner, and we'll get on with lives, and no one is hurt because of it. Enough lies. Enough deception. Our apprentices deserve better.
"…Yes. Restoring his emotions is one thing, but restoring his memories is another. He's already been through so much, what with the War Projects and the scandals, and the fact that, yes, there were corrupt scientists and they kept believing he was one of them….it was so much. Add to his list a strange, yet terrible accident that robs him of his voice and nearly offlines him, and you wonder how he hadn't cracked then."
My digits dig into the finish of my upper support servos. There is just too much the explosive engineer does not know. During his confession, my minty-green apprentice glares at me with a knowing look. That look is reserved for one moment only: when she's been thinking of my darkest deed. That, despite the fact that she's forgiven me, she will never, ever forget.
Stupid guilt trip.
"But then his best friend in the whole world leaves him, his colleagues don't trust him anymore, and he yells at me and feels so guilty for it. He came to his breaking point, and everything went to the Pit. It took so long for him to recover from it all, and I don't need him, nor want him, to go through it all again."
A deep and painful silence sweeps over the entrance of the Guild. I look at Wheeljack, who looks at Ironfist, who looks at Moonie, who looks back at me. There is an unspoken agreement that no bot, not even honest little me, will reveal all this until the time is right. Finally, the white mech speaks.
"Do you understand, Moonracer? Do you all understand? Nothing is as easy as it was then. An absence of peace, and truth, and friends, the absence, the loss, of many things….measure it all, and you will not wonder why everything on Cybertron is the way it is now."
"That may be, Wheeljack…", Moonracer responds, that familiar note of determination creeping into her voice, "…but everybot here knows that we have to make up for those absences. That's why Chromia, me, and the rest of our team returned. That's probably why Optimus' team has returned, too." Her voice strengthens, and the emotional little femme that was my apprentice is replaced by this clever, determined sharpshooter that is my apprentice.
"We're all here to makes things right. And I, personally, will start….by helping Perceptor get his memories back. Helping him to get his emotions back. And if that is not possible, then….."
I almost want to smack my servo to my faceplate.
"…..then I'll start again. Just start again. Just get to know him, to slowly be friends again."
I open my vocal receptor to say something, anything, but she fixates me with the most determined look I've ever seen in her optics. She speaks, as if to all of us, but I know she's speaking directly to me.
"And none of you will stop me."
Dear Primus, I've managed to pass on my stubbornness to her.
The two scientists don't care. "Then we'll help you, Moonracer", Wheeljack says to her. "You're always welcome to come in, and work with us. All of us here at the Guild Scientius."
He opens his support servos to her, and she embraces him. Then Ironfist, who goes back inside right after. She moves to hug me, but I hesitate.
"Chromia? Chromia, I know you may not approve of what I'm doing, but-"
I cut her off with my own warm embrace. "I'm your mentor, sweetspark, not your femme creator. You're not the same femme I took under my proverbial wing, all those vorns ago. I can't stop you. You go do whatever you want to do."
"Thank you, 'Mia", she whispers in my audio receptor, before breaking away and joining Wheeljack in an excited exchange of words.
"Yes, Moonracer, your will, your choices are all your own", I say as I watch the Guild's grand main entrance close shut. "You can do whatever you choose."
But you will be the one to reap the consequences.
_