When she returned to bed, Nepeta was able to get a few good hours of sleep before she awoke to Equius prodding her on the shoulder. Nepeta was tempted to just let him leave, but he was her moirail, so she told him everything. At that, Equius offered to stay, just in case she needed anything. But Nepeta insisted she would be fine, and Equius reluctantly left on his expedition for robot parts.
Feeling dirty and sweaty, Nepeta took a shower to wash the grime away, and put on new clothes. Refreshed, she hauled a tub of water into her shipping room and took a look around, determined to memorize every detail. She knew she was doing the right thing, but it was hard, due to all the hours of labor she had put into recreating her shipping wall from her hive on Alternia. She wanted to remember this.
Soon after, there was a knock on the door. When Nepeta went to answer it, she found herself face-to-chest with Gamzee. Giggling, she looked up to see Gamzee had repainted his face. He also smelled suspiciously good.
"Gamzee…are you wearing…cologne?" Her friend's cheeks turned a bit indigo.
"Just wanted to make a motherfucking good impression in case your moirail got his defensive on."
Nepeta snickered a little and gestured Gamzee inside. They walked through the little apartment she and Equius shared, and into her room. Gamzee kept looking around and examining various items. It occurred to Nepeta that she hung out at Gamzee's all the time, but he had never been to her apartment. Why was that? She shrugged it off.
When they arrived at the door to her shipping room, Nepeta paused and said, "no one but Equius has ever seen my shipping wall."
Gamzee smiled goofily. "I promise to respect the ships," he intoned. Nepeta opened the door and they stepped inside. Nepeta gazed at the walls once more, and then looked over at her friend, who was staring open-mouthed at the drawings covering every surface.
"Um…some of them aren't very good," Nepeta began, feeling self-conscious.
"No, no, this is motherfucking amazing, sis," Gamzee cut her off, and she glowed with pride. "This must have taken forever," he added, eyeing the tub of water on the floor. "And what are we going to all up and do, sis? Wash them all off?" Nepeta nodded solemnly.
"Even that one?" Gamzee asked dubiously, pointing at the OTP.
"Especially that one," Nepeta responded, and Gamzee grinned so wide that his face paint crinkled a little around the edges of his mouth. Nepeta moved toward the tub, but Gamzee put a lanky arm out to stop her.
"Actually, sis? Do we have to go up and destroy it motherfucking all? You obviously worked really hard on it." Nepeta was easily convinced. She didn't want to see all her hard work go down the drain. So she and Gamzee borrowed one of Equius' towels and carefully wiped away the OTP, but nothing else. After it was all gone, they stepped back to admire their work. There was a big gaping hole in the middle of the drawings, but Nepeta could fill it in with new ships.
"Hey, sis, what's motherfucking that?" Gamzee asked, a hard edge to his voice, pointing to the painting of him in the corner. "Why aren't I up and with anyone? Are you making a motherfucking crack at my quadrants?"
Nepeta looked, and shook her head quickly. "Of course not, Gamzee! I just didn't know who to draw you with." Then she remembered. "Hey, Gamzee! You never told me who you like." Gamzee shifted uncomfortably, and picked at the sign on his t-shirt. It was peeling off a little.
"Do you want some milk, Nepeta?" he asked suddenly. "I'm going to go get us some motherfucking milk." And he practically ran out of the room.
"There isn't any left!" Nepeta called after him, but to no avail. The apartment door had already slammed behind him. Nepeta sighed and sat down in front of her drawing of Gamzee. "Why are you acting so weird?" she asked it. "I thought we were friends, but you seem so uncomfortable telling me who you like." She picked up a piece of red chalk, Terezi's favorite. She wondered what Terezi was doing right now. Was she with Karkat? Nepeta was a bit surprised to find that for the first time in a long while, the thought didn't bring pain with it. Glancing at the large grey area in her shipping wall, she realized that although the absence of Karkat had left a hole in her ships, it hadn't left a hole in her heart.
"I really am better off without him," Nepeta whispered, and used the red chalk in her hand to draw a red heart near Gamzee's head. She had an idea. She had originally painted Gamzee, but chalk would work better for her idea, because it was easier to draw with. Oh, well, it wasn't her first picture using more than one medium. She could deal with it.
Shrugging it off and gathering all of her chalks, Nepeta started drawing another troll with Gamzee. She didn't know who it was yet, but she had a good head for ships. She figured her hand would lead the way.
When Nepeta was drawing, she was in another world entirely. Barely seeing which chalks she was picking up, images of Gamzee played behind her eyes. Who would he be good with? He was so tall; he would be cute with someone much shorter.
Karkat is pretty short, Nepeta thought, and giggled. Maybe she would draw a ship of them as moirails later. She remembered seeing that working. Gamzee could get pretty riled up sometimes. She could almost imagine Karkat shoosh papping him.
She picked up a black chalk for the t-shirt, wondering if she could really guess who Gamzee liked by drawing it. Tavros seemed a likely matespritship for Gamzee. She picked up a grey chalk for the pants. She wondered who she was drawing. She picked up the blue chalk for the top of the head. Who has a blue head? she wondered.
She chose the green chalk for the coat. Eridan had a blue head. No, wait, that wasn't right. He had a purple streak in his hair. She kept drawing. Who am I drawing? She thought, with increased panic for a reason she couldn't yet identify.
Who was she drawing?
Who was she drawing?
Oh my gog who was she –
Nepeta snapped out of her drawing mode and stared for a few seconds at the troll she had drawn. The troll with a blue hat and a green coat.
Fuck.
There was a bang as the front door burst open. Nepeta blinked at her drawing and flushed deeply olive before kicking her chalks to the side and sitting against the wall, back covering her new creation, in what she hoped was a casual position.
Gamzee entered the room holding two glasses of milk. The two trolls stared at each other for a few strained seconds before Gamzee awkwardly extended an arm. "I brought you some motherfucking milk."
Nepeta scratched her cheek subtly in an effort to make the blush go away. "But…" she trailed off. "It was all out," she finished lamely.
"Then I guess I've all up and got the only motherfucking milk here," Gamzee said, crossing the room in two long strides and handing her the glass. He remained standing, towering over her. "What did you think was in the scrambled eggs?"
"Eggs?" Nepeta guessed.
Gamzee laughed. "That too. But also some of this motherfucking milk." They both took a sip. "And miracles," he added. "All my food has motherfucking miracles all up in them."
Nepeta was reminded of another substance that was in a lot of Gamzee's cooking. "Gamzee…there wasn't any sopor in those eggs, was there?"
"Motherfucking no. They'd be all up and getting their green on. Besides, I've all up and started running out."
Staring into her milk, Nepeta could feel her drawing burning into her back. "But that's good, isn't it? You'll be sober all the time."
Gamzee grimaced. "I don't motherfucking know, sis. Sure, I'm sober now and then, but eventually I always go back to the sopor. I feel like I motherfucking need it. I haven't been three days without the stuff since I was still getting my wriggler on. So I've started motherfucking saving it. Eating just a little every day. I shouldn't have all up and gone off on that binge last night."
Both trolls finished their milk and regarded each other silently. Finally, Gamzee bent down to take back Nepeta's glass.
"Well, I've got a lot of motherfucking cleaning to do. My room all up and got its mess on. There are broken plates all over the motherfucking floor. Don't even know what that's about."
Nepeta's giggle felt a little forced. Gamzee turned and left the room. She felt bad about not walking him to the door, but she was scared to uncover the "ship". When she heard the front door close, Nepeta spun around and glared at her drawing.
Not wanting even Equius to see it, Nepeta took the towel and water once more and scrubbed the wall clean. That was two ships with her in them, washed away in one day.
Nepeta slumped against the wall, feeling hopeless.