CHAPTER 20
… Behind Closed Doors …
Authors Note:
Hello loyal readers (well, those of you who have not given up on my story). I apologize for the delay in my writing and updating. I finished 2 chapters since my last note to you.
BUT – yes there is always a but – there was this thing that happened to me… it is called Life… the bitchy one … Luckily that has all blown over and I got to write a few more chapters WHOOP WHOOP!
Anyway… I decided that Sesshomaru's battle with himself deserved a chapter all to itself… Because even the tall, dark, handsome, stoic guys battle with their emotions… Yes, even the dark and cold hearted Sesshomaru.
I hope you guys have enjoyed this fan fiction up to this point… Thanks and remember to R&R
He was amusing himself with the effects his hands had on her body – even if it was only her feet.
"I thought we agreed in Mi'Lord," they both giggled softly,
Hearing the alarm clock on the phone and seeing the teens head their way had a strange impact on Sesshomaru. He could feel his stomach knot tightly, his throat dried and heart slammed so hard into his rib cage he could have sworn Kagome heard it. But that was not logical, as he kept trying to calm his rattled nerves. But no logic in the world could explain why his body was reacting this way.
Yes, he knew he loved Kagome. Even though their relationship was only a year young, he knew he had found his other half, his soul mate, his perfect fit.
But even though he knew this, he did not understand why his body was betraying him like this. He was always able to control his emotions, even blind hatred and rage. He was always calm as nothing in the world had ever scared him before. But why, his thoughts where interrupted by Kagome's concerned voice. His eyes trailed to her, but got caught off guard by the minimal bikini she wore, her breast looking bigger due to the red colour on her skin. His thoughts went back to memories of her bare skin under his palm…
"Damn you Sango! Damn you to hell," he cursed her inward,
"I am fine," he turned his head forcefully towards the children, now making their way up to them.
"Kay, so let's get going then," Shippou stated as-a-matter-of-factly when he reached them.
Sesshomaru could see Shippou's humour, but the respect of not laughing comforted him to some extent. He appreciated the fact that Shippou would not humour – at least out loud – his obvious distress.
"Yes, we should get going," Sesshomaru still did not look at Kagome, this made her very nervous,
"It's such a beautiful day," Rin whispered softly, making Kagome smile and open her arms for a hug.
Rin, as always, took the opportunity and hugged Kagome close. Her smile as bright as Kagome's. Kagome reached for her beach shawl and covered her shoulders, handing Rin hers as well. Sesshomaru took the big yellow bag, and they head up towards their holiday home.
The walk home was awkward, and Sesshomaru completely forgot how to act normal. He stayed beside her, but did not hold her hand like he usually did. She seemed to look down at the sand, studying it as it moved with her feet. He wanted to reach out to her, to touch her face, to hold her hands, or hold her to his body. But he feared that he would completely loose his nerve if touched her. He feared that the chemical surge between them would ruin his planning and his chance at absolute happiness. Wait, what? He feared? Sesshomaru have never feared anything.
He heard loud thuds moving quickly away from him, and then softer, more hesitant thuds in front of him. He quickly unlocked the glass and screen door, allowing the two teens to race inside and to their bedrooms. He held the door for Kagome and then let it close behind her.
He felt panic set in… The small house suddenly felt warmer and a lot smaller than he remembered. He looked at the raven haired beauty standing in her shawl. The red hints of that horrid bikini teasing him. They would be alone sooner than later and he could feel the tension in the pit of his stomach grow. He could not let his hormones get the better of him… Not now… Not like so many times in these past three months before now…
"We'll be off then," Shippou's voice was the last thing he heard before closing the door behind him.
Sesshomaru leaned against the cold wooden door, the atmosphere still warm around his aching body. His head was against the door. His eyes closed and he breathed softly. Why did he choose today of all days to take her to the beach? To even allow her in that utterly seductive bikini… Or was it seductive due to his raging hormones?
"What the hell is going on here?" Kagome asked herself out loud, making him open his eyes.
"Sesshomaru?" she was at the door,
"Love? Love are you-"
His hand rose slowly and flicked the key, its click was louder to his ears than usual. He swallowed the lump in his throat as he reminded himself of what needed to be done.
"I am fine," he spoke loud enough for her to hear, "Please give me a moment,"
"Oh-kay?" she sounded confused,
"I'll pour some juice?" she tried,
"Uhhh, no…" he paused, trying to regain his ability to think about beverages, instead of ripping that red devil from her body and taking her right there in the hall,
"I want wi-, no juice… Champagne, it is in the fridge…" he shut his eyes and focused on breathing,
He heard Kagome sigh and head towards the kitchen. He had no idea what had gotten over him. He felt as confused as Kagome felt at that point – he was sure of it. He closed his eyes again, letting out a breath. Flexing his hands he felt his fingers still holding the bedroom key in the keyhole.
He slowly pushed himself off the door and headed for the closet. He took out his bag from the bottom corner and laid it on the bed. He stared at it for a few minutes. And then stared some more. With a frustrated grunt he pulled his phone from his pocket, flipped it open and called Miroku.
"Hello," an enthusiastic voice came from the other side,
Sesshomaru kept staring at the bag,
"Uhhh? Your number is on priva-"
"I cannot do it," Sesshomaru breathed,
"Oh, hey! Just do it!" Miroku's voice was suddenly serious,
"Grow a pair will you!" another voice from Miroku's side of the line, he was too preoccupied to care exactly who it was,
"But, what if she-" Sesshomaru was cut off by a muffled sound, a few choice words and then the last voice he ever thought he would heard,
"If you don't ask her, I will be waiting at the airport to tear out your throat and take her for myself!"
Sesshomaru was to stunned to be angry at his half-brother,
"Look here you! You better ask her! Like it or not, I know her well enough to know she has never been this happy! And if it helps, you have my bloody blessing! Dad always loved her and kicked my ass for being such an asshole! You better ask her or I will march over the-"
"InuYasha," his voice was cool and calm,
"WHAT?" InuYasha's temper was stuff of legend,
"Thank you,"
"You are welcome," his smugness earning a smile from the now much calmer Sesshomaru,
"And InuYasha, touch her and die," he flipped the phone before his brother could answer,
Sesshomaru threw the phone onto the bed, it landed right next to the bag. He would just have to see what happens. He loved her. But if she did not feel it was the time, he would wait. He would wait until the end of time, and he would tell her that too.
He breathed again, and stepped forward. He unzipped the bag and opened it. Nestled inside was a brown-paper wrapped square and with some more fumbling in the small zip compartment; a tiny purple box. The velvet welcomed his fingers. He lifted it, holding it in his palm. He opened it to see if the precious cargo was still snugly inside. It was, and seeing made him smile softly. He placed the wrapped square and purple box – still open - onto the bed. He put the bag back into the closet. He pulled on a pair of clean pants and a shirt.
Walking over to the bed, the knot in his stomach erupted into a swarm of butterflies. He placed the purple box, still smiling, Yes, this was the beginning of a much happier life…
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