Yay! It's done, it's done its done! After a few days of continuously sitting at my computer doing nothing but think, listen to music, and write, it is finally done! Ten pages of pure...stalling. Filler. Boring shit. DAMMIT! SO CLOSE!

Jeen sighed at Ren continuously until she had gained her attention.

"Yes, Jeen?" She smiled, stirring the contents of her infamous chili. Hidan snickered at Deidara whose form was still slumped over the table, little imaginary billows of steam rolling off his plain white tank top and blond hair.

"Can we just do something? The Akatsuki, Hadder, and I are bored." she whined, picking at the bandages that suffocated her wrists and forearms. It had been a week and half since her kidnapping, and to just skip the details, she had gotten out without dying. At least she hoped that she didn't die. Somehow, she was convinced that all this was just a fluke, a long comatose dream. Ren almost believed her too, until Kakuzu and Pein snapped some sense into the girl.

Lord knows how they did it but she seemed fine afterwards.

Ren tapped the spoon on the edge of the sink and left it sitting on a paper towel.

"Any ideas?" She asked, eye twitching when Jeen began to pick at various scabs.

"How about you and I go sacrifice a few civilians? You up for it, bitch?" Hidan asked, turning to Jeen who just shook her head with a small, "No." Ren nodded in agreement.

Hidan groaned and slammed his forehead onto the mahogany long table in front of him, mimicking Deidara.

Madara chuckled from behind Jeen. Ever since the incident he's been slightly more protective. He was very subtle about it however, using his Tobi persona to cover it up as a small 'Careless concern'. Yeah, right. He cares, just really deep down inside. Hey, that rhymed!

"Can we just do something? This isn't very productive." Hadder mumbled whilst of playing with Kisame's hair, who said person wasn't too happy with.

"Get off, kid." He growled. Hadder just smirked and tugged on a lock. Kisame glared and grabbed Hadder's arm, swinging him over his shoulder and onto the couch across the room. Hadder blinked, mouth agape in shock, limbs stiff. "Wha….?" he blinked a couple more times before letting his head ball back against the arm of the chair, his feet in Kakuzu's lap. The miser looked at his sock covered feet and pushed them away disdainfully.

"Sorry, Kuzu." Hadder whispered, still processing what just happened. Kisame gave a deep chuckle. Deidara groaned. "Shut up." He whined. Hidan kicked his shin from under the table, earning a small glare from the blond.

"Stop whining, you attention whore!" Hidan barked. From behind my chair, Tobi pointed a finger at Hidan.

"Naughty words, Hidan-Chan! You should be punished! Kakuzu! Pein-Sama! Hidan's being a naughty child- OW!" Hidan had stopped Tobi in mid-rant to throw the thickest, heaviest book in his reach, which happened to be Ren's cookbook. Ren frowned heavily and yelped when Tobi got nailed in the middle of his forehead, to which he stumbled backwards and onto the computer table behind him. "Tobi! Are you alright?" She yelled. Jeen laughed to herself when she watched her sister barely glance at him in stirring her concoction.

"Tobi's alright, Mrs. Ren-chan!" Ren cocked her head to the side.

"Why the Mrs.?"

"Ren isn't married to Hadder-Sempai?""NO! Where did you hear that!"

"Hadder-Sempai told me. Tobi wants to say congratulations!"

"HADDER!" Ren shouted. From the living room Hadder froze. Konan giggled from the farthest seat at the table when Ren started towards Hadder.

"What did you tell Tobi!" She screeched, fisting the fronts of his shirt and glaring at him with one eye, the other covered by a thick barricade of bandages. Hadder grinned devilishly.

"Everything. And even that night where you and I finally got to-MMPph!" Hadder started to kick and screamed when Ren attempted to suffocate him with a pillow. When he finally got free of the white fabric he turned to the Akatsuki and Jeen.

"Why the fuck didn't you help me?" He exclaimed, coughing. Most of us shrugged.

"You didn't ask." Sasori said boredly. He ignored the one extended finger the ginger shot him. That's when Itachi put down his book to look at Ren with a completely straight face and said:

"Your stove is on fire."

Ren stared at him for a few moments before quickly shoving Hadder away to stare incredulously at her kitchen. The flames swooped up to the ceiling and seemed to dance around the pots and pans, causing a few dishtowels and flower petals to erupt in flames . The Akatsuki, Hadder, and Jeen just stared passively as Ren frantically tried to reach for the fire extinguisher.

"A little help?" She screamed.

"I'm injured." Jeen shrugged, chains dangling from her arms to reattach at her sides like wings. Madara smirked from under his mask.

"Tobi is allergic to flames." He whimpered pathetically. The more stoic ones of the Akatsuki just sighed. Hidan and Deidara just sat there motionlessly for once. Kisame seemed to take slight pity on her, however, he ended up using various water jutsu and, in the process, hit Ren who looked dizzied and exaughsted.

"Thanks…" she mumbled, slumping against the counter and sliding into the puddles that sloshed around the tiled kitchen floor. A simple knock on the door knocked us all out of a daze.

Jeen rose to her feet ad headed to open it, knowing Hadder wouldn't even though he was a mere ten feet away. Tobi followed her, bouncing on his feet and mewling something about visitors. She opened the door and forced a smile.

"Hi, Mrs. Johnson. Uh, I assume you're here for-"

"My goodness, Jeen! What happened to you?" She screeched, dropping her purse and bursting through the door. Upon impulse, she stepped backwards, Tobi jumping in front of her to restrict the woman from hugging Jeen.

"What? You brute! Let me look at her!" She yelled.

Jeen's POV.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw a few of the Akatsuki rising up and that Deidara and Hidan had come to join us in the living room, looking slightly concerned, but otherwise fine.

"Who's this bitch?" He asked, looking at her disdainfully. Mrs. Johnson met his stare.

"Watch your mouth young man." Hidan smirked evilly and when he went to bite back I had to cover his mouth with my hand. I refused to accept the fact that he was licking my palm like a ten dollar whore.

"Hello mother." Hadder sighed, standing up from his spot on the couch next to Kakuzu ,who stayed seated, with a small click of his tongue. Mrs. Johnson turned to look at her son, her graying orange hair swaying with the wind from the ceiling fan before swinging back and forth when she lunged forward. A few of the Akatsuki just blinked and left him to her mercy.

"You." She hissed. Hadder held up his hands innocently. "Me." He replied with a short stare.

"Who are you?" Mrs. Johnson turned to look at Pein who's orange eyebrow was raised in questioning. She looked utterly repulsed. "Me? Who are you? And why in the world did you decide to do that to your face!" She screeched. Hadder dragged a hand down his face. "Why me?" he muttered. His mother turned to snap at him.

"I am Pein." He replied calmly, one arm over Konan's shoulders. Mrs. Johnson glared.

"What are you an emo? Do you think your funny? What is with your name? Who is that?" She pointed at Konan. Almost immediately, Pein's calm features turned to one of hate. Konan smiled politely.

"That whore is gonna get it." Hidan mumbled from under my hand. It came out as more of a 'fat moohr s'hunna wtet eet' and I had to stomp on his foot. He just chuckled good naturedly and stomped back. I winced.

Deidara shook his head at the woman and tried to push past her in an escaped attempt. He growled when I blocked his way. The corner of my lips twitched in a smirk.

"She's crazy, un." He muttered to me, turning on his heel and tried to find another exit. Konan stood up, much to Pein's discontent, and bowed her head.

"My name is Konan." she smiled, holding out a hand. Mrs. Johnson, turning pale, took it and shook. It looked like she was trying not to throw up.

"What is wrong with your hair, dear child?" she whispered, staring at the purple mass that was Konan's hair. Konan cocked her head to the side. "It's my natural color." She replied, boredly might I add. Mrs. Johnson didn't believe her.

"It's that Pein, isn't it? He forced you to turn rebel with him and now your hair is this ugly color and your lip! Your lip! It's impaled!" she yelled. Ren was now in the room, staring wide eyed at Mrs. Johnson. The rest of the Akatsuki was watching amusedly at the scene. Some more than others.

"Mother, what are you doing here?" Hadder interrupted, turning her away from a rather pissed off Konan. Mrs. Johnson glared at her son.

"You have been gone for one entire week! It's almost Christmas! And you never called or left a note!" Her glare intensified, I didn't even know it could get worse. She threw her hand out in a sidesweep motion and flexed it. "Where have you been?" Hadder laughed sheepishly.

"He's been helping me." I stated suddenly. Mrs. Johnson turned to look at me. Behind her, Hadder gave a thumbs up. My eye twitched from underneath my fringe.

"Oh?" I nodded curtly.

"I got hit by a Chevy and my friends came over to help me with all my schoolwork and to keep me company." I said smoothly. I didn't know it was so easy to lie like that and frankly it just pissed me the fuck off that I could! And all that detail too….really, Jeen? A Chevy? What about that poor Honda or Hummer sitting over there? Well, I would have died from a Hummer, but that's not the point! What is the point…?

"Jeen-chan stop lying! Tobi and friends saved Jeen-chan from a bad gang of people with these scary torture stuff and a bathtub-!" Holy shit.

"Tobi!" Ren yelled. Mrs. Johnson looked ready to commit Seppuku.

"Hadder, we are LEAVING!" Hadder groaned as his mother hauled him out of their house. Everyone could practically feel the death radiating off of him. Poor boy. May the afterlife treat him gently. The door slammed behind them with a loud bang.

"What a pleasant woman." Sasori deadpanned, frowning up at them from behind a book. Kakuzu glanced up from my bills and mail he was sorting out.

"What was that about?" He asked, looking over at Konan who was still standing in pissed off mode.

"Mrs. Johnson has a few 'issues' with 'The World of Today'." Ren mumbled, leaning on my uninjured shoulder. I leaned onto Tobi instinctively who kept rambling about how sorry he was for saying anything, though I knew he didn't care, but even so he wrapped an arm around me. Though it was unseen by the others except Ren who just smirked to herself. Hidan raised an eyebrow at her.

I scratched at my bandages once again and picked at them irritably.

"Why the hell are these so itchy?" my scratching grew more urgent. Sasori stood up from where he was sitting and made his way over, at which point Madara dropped his hand from my back.

"Put. Your hands. Down. If you keep scratching you'll let them scar, dumbass." I dropped my hands.

"Like you'd know what it feels like, Pinocchio." He turned to glare at me.

"What is with that infernal name?" he asked, Kisame snickered.

"What the fuck is a Pinocchio?" Hidan inquired.

"He's a dancing puppet whose nose grows when he lies!" Ren smiled.

"Well ain't that just dandy, un." Four guesses who.

"I'm pretty sure Sasori has lied more times than we can count. His nose is still short." Kisame added, trying to find a decent video game. Yes, the Akatsuki can play video games now. And let me say that they will kill any of you fuckers at Black Ops. Seriously.

How they manage to pull off a triple kill streak in the middle of a desolate area is beyond me. They didn't even get shot once! Out of all of them however, I think Itachi did the best. As stoic as he is, he managed to piss off numerous amounts of players with snarky comments and by dissing their likes and religions and habits. That guy got on the scoreboard. Would I lie to you? Yeah, but this is no joke.

You can't joke about Black Ops.

"Itachi, Black Ops?" Kisame opted. Itachi shook his head.

"Let them have a change, Kisame." He said from his spot on the couch. Itachi and I had formed some kind of brother sister bond. I made him dango, he killed the bastard who killed me in Call of Duty. I supply him with information on Sasuke, and he helps me decorate the house. Well, all of the Akatsuki helped but he was the only one who would help Ren back Christmas cakes and cookies. Brother, sister bond. Hell yeah.

Hidan, however, had opted to profusely bother the hell out of everyone and insisted on his rituals…in our main bathroom. I don't think the blood stains will come out anymore. Kakuzu had opted to sorting out our mortgages and spending habits. He was a natural, but I guess that's why he's the Akatsuki's treasurer. I love our Jew, I mean, what? No, I meant miser.

Pein and Konan helped out a lot with keeping the 'kids' under orders and out of trouble most of the time. Other times It was just plain chaos. Like that time when they went out on a few errands for me. Hidan had gotten Tobi stuck in the closet, Deidara was picking a fight with Itachi, Kisame was coming close to eating Zetsu (no, not the other way around), Kakuzu had decapitated Hidan and proceeded to pluck all the hair off one by one, and Sasori had tried to experiment with his poisons on Hidan's body. Ren and I had tried to stop it well, Ren did, but I ended up jumping on Deidara's back telling him to back off. Heh. It sounds childish but I owed Itachi one. Kisame ended up with a large bite mark on his fore arm and the rest of us suffered Pein's godly wrath.

We played monopoly instead. Kakuzu kicked all our asses to hell and back without blinking. He's like a monopoly wizard. Kakuzu; The Wizard of Mortgage.

After Sasori stopped me from itching-he had placed my hands in oven mitts after slapping the back of my head didn't work- I had joined Kisame on the couch. "Hi Fishy." I mumbled, smiling at him. Kisame shook his head at my nickname.

"Hey kid." he replied.

"Can I have a piggy back ride?""No.""I bet I can beat you at wheel barrel racing."

"No you can't." He smirked.

"Yes I can! Just because you're a cocky son of a bitch ninja doesn't mean a normal bitch like me can't kick your slippery, fishy ass at things like wheel barrel racing." Sasori raised an eyebrow.

"How do you suppose you're going to keep up?" the corners of his lips twitched.

"By sabotage." my eyes glinted. Hidan laughed.

"You! Sabotage? You couldn't sabotage a mouse, not even Tobi." I frowned, but he was right. Damn him.

"Alright. Kisame! I CHALLENGE YOU TO A WHEEL BARREL RACE!" Kisame frowned.

"No.""Why not?" I whined, leaning backwards so my head was in his lap. He smiled and shook his head.

"Because it wouldn't be worth it." Deidara winced.

"I think you just cracked her ego, un." He made a face and Ren laughed. I looked towards Pein.

"Hey, Pe-""Jeen, as much as I would love to help you win I have to draw the line when it comes to…wheel barrel racing." I scoffed.

"Was that sarcasm?" I gasped when he gave me a blank stare.

"Coal for Christmas. Coal for all of you."

"It'll be good for the fire we plan to have, un." Deidara smiled. "You crazy pyromaniac." Ren grumbled.

"It's art, un. Don't be jealous Danna, you'll get your chance to shine whenever, un." Sasori dropped the book into his lap again and sighed.

"How many times-" "NO! No more art battles! I think the walls are closing in, Kisame, help!" I flipped my body over so my face was buried in his knees. Kisame and the rest of the organization just stared.

"What's wrong with the whore?" He whispered to Ren, who just shrugged,

"Assholes. I just had a mini anxiety attack and you just sit there?" Konan chuckled surprisingly.

"It wouldn't surprise us." She smirked. My jaw must have dropped because the Akatsuki laughed, even the stoic ones chuckled.

"Mother of fuck. Konan is against me." I whimpered.

"I'm going to die." I mumbled. Kisame patted my head.

"There, there. I'm sure Konan won't castrate you today." He mumbled.

"I have balls? I'm a guy? CHRISTMAS MIRACLES!" Ren, Hidan, Kisame, Deidara, and Tobi started laughing loudly. Itachi merely chuckled before mumbling something into the microphone to the players on the other side in Black Ops. Yeah, Kisame got him to play.

"WATCH OUT FOR THE MAN WITH THE AK 74U ITACHI!" Ren yelled. Itachi just 'hn'-ed her and shot him. The words three kill streak painted itself across the bottom of the screen in red bold letters. Distressed calls echoed off the walls from the angered players and Itachi continued to slaughter the other team. His team just sat back and watched eagerly. Kisame smiled when Hidan started yelling for him to stop. Oh, so they made a bet did they?

"Jeen-Chan, Tobi wants to talk to you about unicorns and ponies again. What's the difference?" I nodded and followed him boredly to my room. Before all of you sick perverts out there think the worse, no, I am not having sex with the over active lollipop with an identity crisis. I am dating him. I think. That part is a little unclear.

He shut the door behind us and sighed, taking off his orange mask.

"How are your injuries, girl?" I shook my head.

"I have a name, bro. And my injuries are fine, just insanely itchy." He nodded.

"Typical. Don't scratch them." I smirked.

"So I've been told." I muttered, sitting down on my desk chair."Hm. So, how are the preparations going?" I cocked my head to the side.

"What do you mean? For Christmas you mean?" He nodded.

"Well, shopping hasn't been great, Hidan keeps changing his 'fuckmas' list…what do you want for Christmas?" I raised an eyebrow as he just stared at me.

"C'mon, you must have something you would like?" I asked, poking his arm. His eye twitched with annoyance, but none the less a smirk formed.

"I will take that question into consideration." My smile fell.

"What? You must at least want something. A book? How about a hug?" I joked, opening my arms. He chuckled and patted my head. I shot him a look before shuffling over to my laptop.

"C'mere, Maddie." Madara glared.

"Maddie?" It sounded like poison on his tongue. I shuddered. "I'll think of a better nickname if you c'mere?" I proposed. He considered this for a moment before striding over. I pointed at the chair.

"Sit." I commanded. Madara glared at me.

"Sorry. Please, sit." his glare didn't let up.

"Please?" I whispered, pouting.

"Pouting doesn't work, girl." I frowned,

"Trust me." I replied. I saw a shadow of hesitation cross his eyes. Maybe that's why he keeps his mask on? To conceal emotions. Well, in another life he could be a physiatrist, possibly. After a moment, he sat down and stared at the screen and from an angle I clicked on the Google search bar and punched in 'EBay'.

"What's an EBay?" He questioned.

"It's a website where people sell things they have at home like books, video games, shit like that." I pointed to my Madara plushie. "I got you on EBay." I snickered. Madara raised an eyebrow before rolling his eyes, but I could tell he wanted to smile. Stoic bastard.

"Excuse me?" He asked. Fuck, I said that out loud.

"Nothing, nothing at all! Just…thinking.""That I am a quote 'Stoic Bastard'?""…yeah…" "How kind of you to say. I don't believe I've ever heard such kind words thrown at me. It warms my heart." He mumbled, scanning a page of knives.

"Your sarcasm is very appreciated, Madara. I think my ego just jumped up a level." He rolled his eyes.

"Like it could get any higher.""What?""Nothing." I smiled at him and he caught it, shaking his head. I cocked my head to the side. "Knives?" He nodded. "Your knives are dull and worn. These look fairly sharp and in decent condition. Your knives could bounce just like the enemy who would be if this type of knife was thrown. Either bouncing or dead." I frowned.

"But I love my knives. I have one under my pillow." He just chuckled and clicked on a picture of a dozen steel knife in mint condition…for two hundred and nine dollars. "Holy mother of…" my eyes were probably as wide as saucers. Before Madara could speak I quickly blurted out, "With a spending limit of one hundred dollars." He frowned, obviously displeased. With a swift click back, he used his long fingers to scroll upwards toward a few select knives within one hundred dollars and one hundred and twenty. I nodded. "Thanks." He smirked and clicked on the most expensive at one hundred and thirty dollars. "Never mind, asshole." He chuckled and pat my head, even at the height of him sitting and me standing. Jerk.

"Just click the button at- yeah that one. Now type in…" She whispered in his ear."We're alone. No one with chakra is around." He muttered, typing in a few words and numbers. I shook my head.

"We're never alone…their watching. Constantly. It's…they whisper things…I can hear them." I added in a crazy Vexen face to tie it all off. Madara stared at me. I think he was questioning if I was being serious or if he really had a loon for a girlfriend.

"I'm mad, yes…but all the best people are." He kept staring. Didn't I show them Alice in Wonderland? No? Dammit. That would've been so funny if I had. No fucking around when it comes to Alice.

"This button?" I turned back to the screen and nodded.

"Yeah. Just don't touch the-" He closed the screen."NO NO! GO BACK! MADARA GO BACK, FASTER!" he seemed shocked when I started shouting but he zoomed to Fire fox and copied my previous acts on the Google bar. I began to question his movements when he grabbed his mask and slipped it on. "Madara, what do you need your mask for?" Suddenly, my door burst opened causing me to scream and fall backwards, jarring my injuries. "Jeen wha- I thoug- Hidan, I thought you said they were…" Ren panted, Hidan behind her. I coughed and winced, looking towards Madara who had screamed as well, but this time back in his fake person. He had closed the window and opened up another one, pink and blues streaked across the picture, rainbows of different shapes and sizes covered the screen. When and how he did that was beyond me. I hate technology sometimes.

"What the fuck, Ren? Hidan? What are you doing?" I hissed. Tobi cowered in the corner, shaking at Hidan's glare.

"You started yelling…and Hidan thought you and Tobi were….and I-Jeen your too young to loose your innocence! Don't be one of those whores who gets knocked up in her teenage years!" I blinked at my sister. Let it sink in….three, two….one…

"You. You thought I was having sex in my room with all you idiots downstairs?" Ren turned to get past Hidan, but he blocked her way. "I had nothing to do with it, bitch. The older whore right here thought it was true so she dragged me with her." Ren gaped at the man standing in front of her exit.

"Not true, not true, Jeen! He's lying!" I raised an eyebrow."I think I know when Hidan is lying. In this case, he is not. Ren, get out. You too, you immortal bastard." I went easy on the name calling. He didn't lie, so I didn't care. When they left, Madara could hear them through the door.

"I told you she wouldn't believe you, I can't believe she fell for that." Ren scoffed sadly.

"You are such a liar." Madara chuckled. I cocked my head to the side.

"What?" he removed his mask again and smirked. "Hidan was lying, you dense little girl." he chuckled.

"Hey, if you kissed me and I'm a little girl, than that makes you an old man and a pedophile." He frowned.

"Don't say you don't like it." He said cockily in return. I froze and stood in thought.

"You're right. Damn it all." He rolled his eyes. "So when will this be here?" He asked, re-opening the page of knives. Ha, page of knives. Ok, ignoring my immaturity. I glanced at the page and smirked.

"A few days before Christmas, but probably a little later since everyone will be trying to buy last minute gifts on E-bay." I mumbled, walking over. I noticed his hair immediately. Hair…I ruffled it. Before I could pull my hand back however, he grabbed it, lifting it off his head.

"Hey," I growled, trying to touch his hair again, "let me go, fucker."

"Like you would know." "Real mature, Madara." He stood up and shrugged at me, still gripping my wrist. Surprisingly though, he was gentle, not even the slightest bit harsh. So much for that aggressiveness. No, wait, I take it back. I think he'd kill me without a second thought.

Then why didn't he? He had plenty of chances before, what changes it now.

"Just stay quiet for once, girl." he mumbled, pinning my hand to his side, his other hand on my right shoulder. I held my breath, our faces so close together just a few inches away from touching each other. I could feel his breath on my face and soon I let out a small pant, taking in more air. My eyes were narrowed down, relaxed as if I were to fall asleep. Damn it all, Madara. I curse you along with all your ancestors.

"Hold still." He growled when I squirmed slightly under the tension in the room. I obeyed reluctantly, his eyes piercing mine. I must admit, the Uchiha's eyes were a sight to see. See, haha, get it, eyes; see. Whatever. His were a deep shade of red, the pattern of his immortal sharingan captivating. I knew it wasn't Genjutsu though. Slowly, he leaned forward and pressed his forehead against mine, his grip on my wrist was gone and my arm slid back to my side. Then, Madara retracted his head, took his mask, and exited the room. I stood there, dumbstruck. Then I narrowed my eyes dangerously, a low growl bubbling in my throat. My fists tightened.

"YOU FUCKING TEASE!" I screamed. I'm sure I heard something break downstairs. I was also sure I heard Madara's small bit of laughter from down the hall. So, he did have the ability to actually laugh. Would ya look at that.

Again, I will say that this is a filler. I am oh so sorry for not posting earlier. But, summer is almost here so that means...CHAPTERS GALORE! HUZZAH! This will be awesssomeeeee~

Answer: My spring break was uh...April somethin' but it wasn't all that fun.

Question: Who is your favorite Disney Character?

SotC: Crawling; Linkin Park

Hey guys! Sup? Summer is here and more writing! Whee! I promise you guys there will be more MadaraXJeen smut coming up, I can't wait to write it but it feels so awkward...I don't see how you Yaoi fans can do it so perfectly without being so pent up with all that...urm...withheld romance? I dunno lol xD So many red lines in this paragraph. Fire fox doesn't like my way with spelling. -.-
Thanks so much for all the favorites and all the reviews, you guys are so awesome I love all you guys. I've actually read a few of your guys' fics. Pretty damn good! Keep up the good work guys!
I have a huge history project to finish so syonara bitches! I probably spelled that wrong. DAMMIT. Whatever lol, sorry if some of the Characters seem OCD I'm trying to get back into practice. Have a good night/morning/afternoon/evening/twilight/uh...day and may the madness seek you wherever you may be.