Influencing Enemies and Bringing In Ghouls
Disclaimer: I do not own Rosario Vampire or any part of its franchise. I would also like to thank lord of the land of fire for giving me permission to write this.
This is a sequel to The Unsealed Vampire story by lord of the land of fire and The Unsealed Vampire: Tsukune's Revenge by yours truly.
Weren't expecting me back so soon, now were you? If all goes well, should be done with Tsukune's Redemption before the end of the month of August. Again, I will not guarantee anything. Now, we only have a quarter of the story left to go. Let's get to it, shall we?
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Now, see if you can spot the references...
Now that I am done wasting your time with author's notes, let us move on to the main attraction.
Enjoy:
Tsukune stood with his hands raised in front of him and his palms facing out. The one who rang the door was an old acquaintance of his, one he wished he had had the opportunity to kill ages ago. Both Mokas stood ready to attack the unwelcome face as well, they remembered her all too well. None spoke during this staring contest.
Mizore Shirayuki never pointed her ice claws at the three who stood before her ready to rip her apart, nor did she even try to form her weapon of choice. There was no trace of anger over the destruction of her village, not a single ounce of hatred for the butchering of her people. All there was to see upon her youthful traits was an expression of deep sadness and sorrow, her regret over what had been done outweighed any desire for vengeance her heart may have concealed within.
The fact that she lacked the basic sense of self-preservation to at least attempt to protect herself from the impending danger was completely ignored by Tsukune. He was too transfixed with the prospect of killing the one who had taken him away from Moka and tried to kill her. His reaction was mirrored by both Inner and Outer Moka. Each tensed up and were ready for battle.
Before they could sate their desire for retribution, the Chairman stepped in between the two parties so as to avoid spilling any blood in a futile feud. More precisely, to prevent Mizore from being executed by her former friends and victims. Her sad and devastated gaze was only met by abject hate on Tsukune's behalf.
"It would be best to put aside hostilities for the time being." His words fell on deaf ears as Tsukune focused his blood into a small clout within his wrists. The amount of pressure he was creating had the potential to rip apart his arms if he were to fire the shots. Despite sensing that to be the logical outcome to attacking Mizore with such power, he couldn't afford to put any less strength into his makeshift bullets. For all he knew, she might survive a smaller shot, therefore defeating the purpose of firing at her. She wouldn't be walking away from this if he had anything to say about it.
"Step aside, Headmaster. Understand that she needs to die by our hands." Ura was never one for mincing words, the ultimatum she was communicating lacked the same tact her usual warnings failed to hold. Mizore would die for stabbing her in the back like she had done. But more importantly, she would die for the pain she had caused her soul mate. Oddly enough, Omote took the initiative by removing her seal. To be fair, it didn't really surprise the ruby eyed predator: Omote had been the one in control when Mizore kidnapped Tsukune at the festival. Ever since then, she had always felt unworthy of Tsukune, she considered that it was her negligence that allowed all this to happen. Killing the snow bitch would be most cathartic for her, and her Inner counterpart was not about to rob her of that joy.
"Does that mean you would rather see her die now at your feet and abandon any hope of ending the threat that the HLF poses?" Tsukune Aono began to hesitate having heard those words. He was reluctant to agree to letting her live on account of what she had done to him, oh how he wanted to obtain sweet justice. Yet he still had to consider that if the Chairman brought her here as he guessed he did, that could only mean that her presence was essential to halting the HLF. Though he would make sure to stay ready to kill until she had provided proof that she was indeed here to help with the assault. Who knew, if he were lucky, it could all be a giant bluff on her part and he would be able to take her out on the spot.
"How is she supposed to help us?" He inquired with his hands still raised in her direction. To that, the Exorcist smirked as he so often did before he turned around towards where Mizore was and whispered a few words in a long dead language. As he spoke in the arcane tongue, the wall and door to the mansion situated behind the snow woman faded from existence. What the boy saw in it's place chilled his very core: In the courtyard stood at least two hundred snow women of all ages, shapes and sizes. She had delivered them an army.
"That is how." The Exorcist chuckled at the three vampire blooded individuals that stared dubiously at the assembled crowd. Should he tease or should he give them the specifics? It could be more fun to just let them speculate the reasons for this apparent miracle on their own but they were on a tight enough schedule as it were and could not afford to waste any more time. "In the absence of a capable Snow Priestess to lead the Snow People, an ancient spirit by the name of Jack Frost, who is responsible for the famous visions the Snow Priestess is known to have, has nominated Mizore Shirayuki as the successor to the Priestess you executed."
That was all fine and dandy but the reasons for her being here were still obscure. What would she gain from allying herself with the one who burnt down her ancestral home? Scratch that, the HLF would be wiped out and that was just what they were hoping for out of this whole deal. Yet willingly working with the butcher of the Snow Village could not have gone over well with the refugee snow women. So again, he wondered, why wasn't he getting impaled by a towering ice spire right about now? "Butcher of the Snow Village? How cute, you finally acknowledged your title, boy scout! Quick, Frozen Boobs, get a picture of me with the boy. We're sending this one to cousin Kyoko."
Rather that being worried about his sudden reappearance inside his psyche, he was a little more busy with the events taking place in front of him. Although he was privy to seeing quite the freaky things in his lifetime, this definitely took the cake for being the weirdest and most bizarre scene he had ever had the misfortune of witnessing.
As if on cue, the room cooled down a few degrees. More like dropped twenty degrees in one go, actually. The lights began to flicker as Mizore widened her eyes and threw her head back at an impossible angle. A thin blue mist rose out of her mouth and began to take shape, Jack Frost had just introduced himself to the crowd.
"Wow, someone call an exorcist! Oh, hold on a minute, never mind. We've got one right over here watching this like some kind of soap opera. Does this guy even have his priest license?" His words were ignored once more as Jack Frost monopolized all of the young ghoul's attention, this was something very new. He didn't like where this was going.
Before he could dwell on that observation any longer, the spirit spoke. "When the lover of the destroyer shall become the queen of the ice. When sisters in cold see their hearts frozen with dread. The new queen will take her mantle and ally herself with the destroyer. The destroyer shall become the protector and the people of the snow will flourish into an era of spring unlike any it has ever known." A pause ensued where the apparition named Jack Frost cleared his throat just as Mizore brought her head forward so as to look at the spirit currently flowing out of her with a questioning expression. "Sorry, it's been so long since I've been out that I just had to be a little cryptic there. For those of you who didn't understand the first time: Work with the ghoul in front of us and the Snow People will become permanently fertile thanks to his efforts. Don't and the Snow People shall become extinct."
What? Permanently fertile? Let's get something straight here, the last thing he would ever want to do in this lifetime would be to help those kidnappers overcome the greatest problem their species was faced with. Alas, as he was about to mention that there had to be some error in the prophecy, the spirit vanished. Leaving a very confused Outer Moka, a very pissed off Inner Moka and an extremely frustrated Tsukune gawking at the unforeseen shift in dynamics.
As you would expect, the Chairman was off laughing sinisterly in his own corner. He had slipped to the side so as to make sure Tsukune got a good view of the apparition, which he did. He now stood next to Akasha and Touhou Fuhai who had just walked back into the room so as to see what caused the dip in temperature inside the main entrance.
Akasha had skipped out about a half hour ago just as the Mokas were explaining what had happened to them to Tsukune while they were apart. However, best emphasize on the fact that they left one part out of their explanation, one that was about to give Tsukune an ever bigger headache than the one he was currently sporting.
Fangfang appeared out of thin air right next to Tsukune. Did all Huangs feel the compulsive need to sneak up on him? It was of little concern to the boy now as he saw the Dark Lords come closer. Even Mizore had had the good sense to move back a few feet to give the superior monsters some space. Hindering them in any way was sure not to bode well for any offender's health.
Ura and Omote moved to Tsukune's right whereas Fangfang came up on his left. As of this point, he was really getting worried. What were they planning? This almost looked like a ceremony of some sorts. "Bravo, Sherlock. How's about you take a closer look at who's facing who. Do you see a trend?"
He was right. The Dark Lords were now facing each of them, save Akasha who faced both her daughters. Touhou Fuhai was facing his descendent and, you guessed it, the Exorcist was no more than five feet away from the teen ghoul. The two groups formed a prefect parallel. Oh great, he was starting to get an inkling of what was to follow.
Touhou Fuhai was the first to speak, revealing Tsukune's fears to be well-founded. "We, the three Dark Lords." Touhou Fuhai halted after having announced his title, making sure to exchange glances with both Tenmei and Akasha to insure they were both still willing to act so pompous. None of them actually thought of themselves in such terms but there was an assembly present and monsters were famously fond of great titles.
Having made sure that the other two were still committed to this, he continued on. "Realize that in this time of great difficulty, monsters have come to think us out of touch with the world. In accordance with that belief, we have decided to grant people whom we trust the ability to act with our authority." This couldn't be happening. He was not going to let them drag him into their mess. He wanted coexistence, sure. He wanted peace, true. But being thrown into such a position was hardly what he called ideal.
Akasha was the next person to speak. "Moka Akashiya, do you accept the responsibilities I delegate to you?" She seemed slightly concerned over forcing her daughters into such a perilous spot but the Mokas had insisted upon it. Therefore she had no right to refuse them this opportunity to shine and play a grander role in protecting the peace.
"Yes we do." They replied in unison to their mother's question. Although this was all for show, neither cared much about that nuance. Titles didn't matter to them, all that mattered was getting the chance to go to Lilith's Mountain. Since they would be acting as the Dark Lords' delegates, no one would be able to deny that it was within their right to go up against the HLF. This whole ceremony was simply an elaborate way to make use of a loophole: Go against such menaces without those in charge of governing you agreeing to it and you faced repercussions. Act as delegates of the Dark Lords and your authority transcended that of those who would wish to put you on trial. Then again, there weren't that many monster governments around. Still, better be safe than sorry. Besides, associating Tsukune to Mikogami's authority essentially gave him the right to make the boy do whatever he wished him to do.
Tsukune saw the red flags and was nowhere near stupid enough to think this wasn't an easy way for them to get him into a form of indentured servitude. After fighting so hard for his own freedom, they were going to chain him down by using politics? "Oh joy of joys! You're going to be the Chairman's errand boy. Can you imagine missing a chance to have that on your resume? This would funny if it weren't so pathetic. Oh what the heck, I'll laugh anyway."
And the laughter went up in a crescendo just as they moved on to the next one. Touhou Fuhai spoke once again and submitted the same exact inquiry. "Fangfang Huang, do you accept the responsibilities I delegate to you?" The same answer followed, much to the ghoul's consternation. Was he the only one not in on this? They couldn't force him to agree, that was for certain. He would make his independence known, damn it!
It was now his turn. The Chairman's smile was even creepier than usual, they were doing this on purpose. Oh no, no way he was signing up for this. Not by a long shot. "Tsukune Aono, do you accept the responsibilities I delegate to you?" Despite Reaper laughing like there was no tomorrow, he found the focus he needed to reply accordingly.
"No way, absolutely not. I refuse." Having said that, he noticed the Exorcist's smile did not waver one bit. They had set him up in a monumental way and he still didn't get how. Why did this always have to happen to him? Please, don't let it be they were setting him up the way he thought they were. They wouldn't ignore what he said, would they?
"Then it is settled." Touhou Fuhai appeared relieved. "From this day forth, you shall act as our representatives. Know, however, that this does not grant you the title of Dark Lord." There had to be a small revision after they told Moka she could hold the title. Mainly because they were afraid it might make people think that the original three were no longer in command. This way, everyone was happy. Well, almost...
"In the role of the most ignored and impotent being this side of the Pacific, I give you... Tsukune Aono! Come on up here and claim your prize, boy scout. Tell him what he's won, Steven." They actually did, they completely ignore him. But... How... Why... Oh forget it. They probably used some spell to make it look like he said yes and he played right into their hands. The assembled crowd was giving them a standing ovation once the ceremony was concluded. He never fought so hard in his life to keep his temper from getting the better of him and blowing up half the people in attendance clapping at him. Naturally, Reaper joined in and started whistling and yelling out words like bravo and good job. The only thing that was missing was having him laughing at the same time. Oh wait, hold that thought. Never mind, he was doing just that.
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As soon as she had heard the news, Akua made her way out of the compound as quickly and as discreetly as her body could manage. This was bigger than anything she would have expected. Not only were they planning to attack the HLF headquarters but they had amassed a large enough army to make the campaign a certain victory. They even brought her sisters in for extra-insurance. How did they separate them in the first place? It looked as though there was very little Akasha couldn't do if she put her mind to it.
She didn't mind that last part at all. Forcing her beautiful younger sister to be trapped inside her own body was a disgrace. Someone so perfect could not be caged, it was simply incomprehensible. She was quite glad that that injustice was rectified. Not as quickly as she would have liked yet rectified nonetheless.
As for the HLF situation, the higher ups were bound to be interested in this. She climbed onto the top one of the many sky scrappers that dotted the city's urban landscape and made the important phone call. This was a game changer, she knew that to be true. How it would change things? She wasn't sure yet. Despite that, she was positive she would get a very clear picture of what was to follow once she called this in.
She detailed the scene she witnessed and left out nothing in her thorough report. She could hear disbelief on the other end as her information was being relayed to Miyabi. The audible gasps were a definite sign that the next assignment was going to be quite troublesome. Her suspicions were to be found valid as she asked the intermediate to repeat her orders.
This was a daring move, even for someone of her caliber. Still, orders were orders. Although it sounded highly unlikely that they would agree to it, there always was a possibility for it to work out. As the old saying went: Nothing ventured, nothing gained. In the event that this was to go sideways as she predicted it would, she would make a quick stop on her way to gather enough supplies to give her a fighting chance.
She had a Joker up her sleeve, as it were. One she was reluctant to use up until now for fear that this may end up biting her in the rectum. However, she saw no alternative. And there would be no way they were going to take her prisoner. Better risk the wild card and see what would come of it. Just her luck, things like this had a tendency to occur when Tsukune was involved. After this was over, she promised herself she would take a nice relaxing vacation. Who knew, maybe she would find a way to rope him into coming with her. Heck, kidnappings took place every day. And it wouldn't be as though it would be a very unpleasant experience for him. After all, couldn't a future wife hope to spend some time with her soon to be husband?
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No one was going to listen to him? Fine, he would pout for the remainder of this meeting. Both Tsukune and Mizore sat at a circular table with two other guests in attendance. The goal of this more private gathering was to set the preexisting conditions to an alliance between the Huang and the other two species eager to join the fight.
As Mikogami's representative, he despised that title with a passion, he was there as a peacekeeper and a mediator between parties as well as the emissary of the Huang. Mizore Shirayuki represented her people as you would expect. As for the two other guests, they represented the Succubi and Incubi races. To be more precise, the Incubi were way too busy rebuilding what was left of their nearly extinct people so the Succubi came in and were to negotiate in their stead. They were represented by Ageha Kurono and Kurumu Kurono.
The original leader of the two monster races, known as the Charmer, died a horrible death at the hands of rampaging dragons during the uprising. The Kuronos were kind enough to assume control in no small part thanks to how well connected they were. Tsukune could tell this was no mere coincidence, this has the Exorcist's involvement written all over it. How else would you explain that Kurumu, a student he was vaguely acquainted with back at school, was able to take control of such a widespread race?
The two armies that had been provided prior to this meeting were holed up in some part of the mansion. All in all, they were looking at an army that was around a thousand strong. For a monster army, that was a pretty big number. Naturally, you would wonder how a mansion could accommodate over a thousand fighters. The same could not be said for Tsukune, he had long since abandoned the prospect of deciphering how such impossible and daunting tasks accomplished themselves. If he had to hazard a guess, he would say that they were given sufficient space in a pocket dimension created specifically for that purpose.
It was obvious by the way Kurumu and Mizore spoke to each other that they had been briefed beforehand. The small displays of friendship also meant they had had the pleasure of conversing at a previous point in time. In other words, this whole bout of formality was only for his own so called benefit. The Chairman probably figured that he would have to put his newest delegate, or slave, through diplomatic training. Which, of course, was a very bad sign for his future.
If only that was the full extent of his discomfort. Alas, there was more to unsettle him. Something else had come up as they were setting the goals for the little get together. It regarded the Snow People's apparent infertility after a certain age. It turned that the Succubi and Incubi had been confronted with the same issue back during the Middle Ages. Realizing that forcefully taking advantage of men and women would only encourage humans to seek them out and kill them, they had to figure out a way to extend the allocated amount of time they had to search for their Destined Ones.
They could always charm their victims but that solution found itself to be just as ineffective when it came to hiding from jealous or vengeful humans. To remedy this disastrous exposure to Humanity, they created a very special rock imbued with magical properties. Chief among these properties is to grant any who live within the vicinity of said rock the ability to stay fertile for their entire life.
It did them very little good when it came to finding their Destined Ones. As a small side note, you might even notice that they became a lot pickier and slower to decide whom the lucky, or unlucky, person might be. Though it did do the trick when it came to concealing themselves from humans. If they no longer felt they were rushed, they could court or simply imbed, depending upon their preference, their charm into the target of their choice and simulate love over a period of several years. Thus avoiding suspicion on behalf of human hunters who might otherwise kill them and their young.
Charmer Ageha Kurono promised she would share a piece of the rock with the Snow People if they helped retake their mountain. Mizore wholeheartedly agreed. Basically, Tsukune was completely useless in this whole deal. He was supposed to rubber stamp this and declare it official once the two came to an accord.
"Oh cheer up, boy scout. It could be worse. In fact, rather than simply being the pretty little figurehead you are now, you could have ended up being... Um... Being... Give me a second... Sorry but I got nothing, I guess you really are the lowest of the low. Negotiating with your sworn enemies and you can't even say anything to affirm your position. Funny as heck for me. You? Not so much, I'd wager. Ha ha!"
Tsukune widened his eyes at his most recent epiphany. Wait a second, he could get something out of this. Not his first choice like Mizore's head on a silver platter but he had something almost as good. Something that would insure no one would end up in his predicament later on down the road when all this was said and done. Time to see how well he negotiated.
"There is a clause I want both of you to agree to before we may call this a formal alliance." The little smirk that graced his lips did nothing to put the ladies at ease. He had to be sore after what had been done to him. What did he have planned? Could it be some unreasonable request that would demand impossible concessions? They were bound by Mikogami to uphold whatever was decided during these negotiations.
The leaders nodded at Tsukune, urging him to press on, which he did momentarily. "You are to pledge that neither of your races shall never enslave another human being, or any other being for that matter, against it's will ever again. That means no charming or kidnapping. They would have to accept without being coerced. Either you agree to that or the whole deal is off."
Ageha was feeling uncomfortable. Her people usually resorted to charming to find the one they deemed their Destined One. Her own daughter had used that very same technique to attempt to locate her chosen soul mate. However, not agreeing would mean losing Lilith's Mountain for who knew how long. Perhaps using the charm ability was still an option. He only ever said anything about enslaving men and taking them captive, he never said anything about using their powers to determine who would be a suitable candidate. She exchanged a glance with her daughter, the next one in line for the Charmer throne. From what she could tell, she came to the same conclusion she did.
Kurumu hadn't been able to find her Chosen Mate yet. She had been looking exhaustively but her search still was a failure as of now. Being deprived of her gifts would only make her quest more difficult to bring to a satisfying conclusion. On the other hand, she seemed perfectly content with accepting Aono's conditions. Could it be? That spark in her eye... That dreamy look... Was she thinking of trying to chase after the boy?
She took a good look at him. He wasn't bad looking, far from it. Rumor had it that he'd fought more than his share of battles. A fantasy involving a veteran soldier, now there was a romance her kind hadn't heard of in nearly forty years. His diplomatic ties to the Exorcist showed that he was well-connected. This child was looking better and better by the minute. He was a shrewd negotiator too, very few would have had the stones to withdraw everything unless he received an uncompromising affirmative response.
Let's see: Handsome? Check. Strong-willed? Check. Intelligent? Check. Knew how to handle himself? Check. He was the perfect candidate. She approved without the shadow of a doubt. It would take time for Kurumu to properly assess him but she was pretty confident. Better not keep him waiting any longer. It was always a disadvantage to make a first bad impression on possible son-in-laws. "The Succubi and Incubi accept your conditions." Her announced with her warmest smile, he looked to be quite pleased with the news.
Kurono accepted? That was more than he expected. He actually was able to turn this to his advantage. Score one for the supposed figurehead. Turns out he wasn't as useless as some might assume he was. "Oh, absolutely. You are so independent, and strong, and... Hold that thought, I just got a message from the Headmaster: He wants his tea served now."
It didn't take long for the newly instated Snow Priestess to follow the trend set by her Succubi ally and accept the set conditions without attempting to debate it. The last few months she had spent away from her home permitted her to think about what had led to the exile of her people. She understood that the fault was her own. That, in her folly to force Tsukune to be with her, she had been the true culprit behind all the destruction.
Her pondering caused her mind to undergo a treatment of sorts. The traces of insanity imbued within her obsessive love were cleansed and the rashness of her actions presented itself in it's most unflattering form. She was the one to blame. As such, it also fell upon her to fix that which had been broken in the process of her foolish pursuit.
Had she abandoned all hope of ever being with Tsukune? No. Her methods had been the byproduct of the heat of her passion. Returning to her more calculative nature, she saw the idiocy of her past actions. Love was a difficult feeling to create. Even more so now that she had effectively lost any trace of it within the boy's heart. Giving in to his demands would not only show how she wished to repent but prevent a repeat of this incident. This way, none of her sisters would try and take the easy way like she had ever again. Acting in the spur of the moment was a direct contradiction to their nature. Thus, after what had happened, such behavior could no longer be tolerated. It would take years, but she was confident he could one day love her like he once did.
With that, the agreement was made. The Succubi and the Snow Women would fight alongside the Huang. All four dignitaries exited the room to find the main entrance was filled with members of all the various factions. Seeing their leaders emerged with a small smile was enough to make the crowd erupt in cheer.
As soon as they had seen him, the Mokas were there to greet him. What had to be done was done. Being obligated to form a treaty with his old enemy must have been a trying experience. Omote was gently comforting him whereas Ura directly skipped to the part where she led him to realize that his good behavior was deserving of a reward... A reward he would receive later on tonight.
Understanding the... pleasant treatment he was to expect, he awkwardly rubbed his neck and smiled his goofy grin. He was still the same lovable Tsukune they had fallen in love with. "I guess this was a pretty good day after all."
"Then it would be my pleasure to make it an even better day for you." He froze in place as he recognized that voice. First, he needed to deal with Mizore, now her? He turned around with his hands ready to fire a shot at the vampire standing in front of him. Akua Shuzen didn't seem affected in the least by the show of hostility.
In lieu of that, she raised her hands in a soothing manner. "Relax, I'm not here to fight. Quite the opposite." She turned to the Moka twins and couldn't help the blush that fought its way onto her cheeks. "It's good to know you are in full control of your bodies." Her blush vanished just as quickly as it appeared as she turned her head to the three figures in the back of the assembled mass. She concealed herself well enough to unsettle the Dark Lords with her sudden appearance? That was an accomplishment worthy of praise.
"Then why are you here?" There was no mistaking the anger in Tsukune's voice. She didn't like seeing him angry at her. It was bothersome.
"I'm here to offer an alliance on behalf of Fairy Tale. Think about it: We both wish to see the HLF wiped from the map. Plus, you would obtain our full cooperation as well as a truce which I am sure would help avoid much unnecessary carnage. What do you say?" Her question was geared straight at Tsukune and not at the Dark Lords. If he said yes, they would have no choice but to let it be. He had no idea of the scope of his own power.
She saw a few of the Huang guards slowly creep up and come closer to her. The decision had already been made. She sighed as she heard the confirmation of her suspicions come from Tsukune's own mouth. How troublesome. To think that the last thing she wanted to do was fight in the domain of the one she considered her master. Oh well, it couldn't be helped...
Without warning, a talisman flew out of her hand and went straight for Tsukune's head. His increased reflexes allowed him to block with his hand. The thin piece of paper wrapped itself around his wrist and turned to ash. Unfortunately, that was when it all went wrong...
The talisman she had throw was a charm designed to destroy seals. Akua had planned to use a similar and more complex one on Moka if she ever had to unseal her by force. It would do for this situation. A few moments later, Tsukune's Holy Lock suffered a similar fate to that of the unsealing talisman thrown at it. It slipped off his forearm and withered away until it was no more that dust on the floor.
The room went eerily quiet, all eyes were on Tsukune as his body seemed to be fighting itself. There was no big transformation and no elaborate spectacle, only small grunts and impossible muscle movements as though geared at fighting off an unseen force. Then it happened, a small chuckle bubbled out of the formerly lucid Tsukune, now hunched over with a large smile covering his face.
He turned to face the audience who held it's breath. His grin only got larger as his eyes began to glow red and the ghoulish markings began to make themselves more pronounced upon his skin. He then waved excitedly at his crowd. "Hello, people. Reaper's back in town! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
