AN: Yeah, so I kinda BS-ed this chapter mostly because I'm getting ready for school to start. I'm really tired right now and I'm having some anxiety problems so this will be a short chapter. I promise the next one will be longer.
Let me know what you'd like to see in the story in a review, PM, e-mail, anything! Enjoy!
Stay Chill~
Breakfast was very…dull. Deidara evidently made his pop tart after practically face planting into the carpet upstairs; Itachi, Kakuzu, and Pein were served cups of steaming hot coffee (courteously of me, of course), Konan, Kisame, and Ren had cups of orange juice while the rest of us either had water or milk or both. Aside from Deidara and Sasori, we shared the rest of cereal. Needless to say we all needed to go grocery shopping soon…especially since we were permanently banned from our local Stater Bros. We blame Zetsu for that but everyone knew that it was Itachi's fault. You heard correctly. One does not place a hand on Itachi's shoulder without being flipped into the baking aisle.
"Pass the milk, un." Deidara grunted, looking directly at Kisame. Kisame raised a dark blue eyebrow and moved the milk away from his grasp. Even he was grumpy in the morning.
"Ask again in five minutes." He mumbled in between bites. Deidara scowled, but remained silent.
"Boys, behave." Konan grumbled, rolling her eyes. As if anyone had the energy to argue.
"I love Konan," Hadder sighed, "She's so…pleasantly dutiful." Well, Hadder was one of the exceptions. Pein sent him a glare, his ringed eyes boring into the man's skull. Hadder put his hands up and went back to his cereal. "I'm jus' sayin' Pein." I looked up towards the leader sitting at the head of the table and snapped my fingers, Tobi glanced at me from his spot to my left.
"Didn't you want to talk to us about something, Pein?"
"Yes…after breakfast."
"Oh. Oops."
"Why not just tell us now? What's so important, Leader-san, yeah?" Deidara asked.
Sometimes I pitied Pein for having to put up with all of our shit, but then I remember that he did sign up for this and it wasn't really that bad, even if we could be annoying sometimes. Pein gave a heavy sigh and rested his forearms on the table.
"Ren has brought up the matter of school; Jeen will be enrolled today and sent the day after tomorrow." I wanted to wither away. School sucked, even if I did like a few of the subjects, and the only reason I'm going back is because I'm too young to get a good job to help out around the house. I got to see some of my favorite people, but hell, it's not worth the effort sometimes. Maybe Madara could help me with my homework…hm…no, ick, stop with the perverted thoughts.
"Then what's the fucking problem?" Hidan barked, "Just fuckin' send the bitch there." Pein frowned and curled ten nimble digits around his mug of coffee and glared. Ren and I purposely gave him the mug with rainbows and sparkles…just for the irony; he took it without another glance, too tired to care. Now he was slowly starting to become aware of how degrading it was.
"The problem is, Hidan, that there is a heavy gang presence in this specific area and she would not be safe there." He explained. Hidan grumbled a bit and shoved the spoon back into his mouth.
"I don't get it, can't we just teach them how to use chakra?" Kisame asked. Pein dismissed this.
"We can try, but it would take too long and we can't risk it. Therefore, we are enrolling two of you in the same school to guard her while she's there." There was a loud rally of objections around the table, a series of curses thrown around and a long collection of sighs. I laughed. Was it really that bad? Bunch of lazy—,
"Quiet!" Pein boomed. Everyone clamped their mouths shut and returned to their breakfasts. Well, at least they tried to.
"Who're the lucky bastards, Leader-Sama?" I asked, lips pursed. It'd be pretty hard for Tobi to go with me so I knew that was a no go, unfortunately. The man would stop by every now and then anyways so it didn't matter. Pein raised the mug to his lips and took a long gulp before answering.
"The two to accompany you will be-,"
"Tobi wants to go!" Oh Jashin, no. Pein sent Tobi a very, very heated glare that even Zetsu had to mimic. No doubt the plant man saw our nightly…ehem, yes, and sent Tobi a similar warning.
"Tobi, you look too young. Stop trying to feel one up on—Quiet, you." I laughed at Zetsu's inner conflict and finished off the rest of my orange juice. Hidan scoffed and spewed bits of cocoa puff onto the table.
"Close your mouth, idiot." Kakuzu grumbled, smacking the back of his partner's head. Hidan went to argue, but the stern looks from Pein forbid him to. The leader turned back to me and gave the smallest of eye rolls that I had to stifle a laugh. One does not simply laugh at the Leader.
"Deidara, Hidan, and Sasori will be accompanying you to your school on the way there and back."
"WHAT(UN)?" Sasori was the only one who didn't exactly flip his shit. Even Hadder was gawking.
"Leader, that's three." Ren pointed out.
"Do you want to feel pain?" he asked.
"Another Pein pun. I win, Kisame."Kakuzu smirked, holding his hand out to the shark on his right. Kisame sent him a look and dug through his pockets to fish (heh) out two identical bills, disdainfully dropping them into the man's stitched hand.
"What makes you think Sasori won't poison anyone on the first day?" Hadder chimed.
"Yes, what makes you think Sasori won't murder anyone on the first day?" Sasori mumbled, staring blatantly towards the leader. Pein returned it with narrowed eyes.
"You will follow orders, Sasori." He said. Sasori nodded and folded his arms.
"Hidan should be the one to worry about." He mused. Hidan gave a loud yell and slammed his hand down on the table. "Shut up, puppet bitch!" I rubbed my temples. It was too early to be so damn loud, what got him so riled up so early anyways…
"Ren will take you," He looked towards me, "Sasori, and Hidan to the school to be enrolled in an hour. I expect the best behavior you four." Pein said.
"Yes, dad."
"Quiet."
Ren was driving with Sasori in the front seat next to her with me, Hidan, and Deidara in the backseat of her Elantra. As she said earlier, kids in the back, adults in the front.
"So, we have to walk to this shit hole every day?" Hidan barked, leaning over my left side to get a look at Ren and invading my personal space…or what little there was. Deidara let his head roll on his neck and thump against the car window.
"This is gonna suck, yeah." He whined. Elbowing him in the ribs, I pushed Hidan off of my shoulder and tried to be comfortable in the middle of them.
"No, I think it already suck, Dei." I grunted. Ren rolled her eyes and glanced towards Sasori.
"I hope you appreciate that front seat, Sasori-no-danna." She said, yelling over the loud argument going in the back. Sasori nodded and gave an uneasy glance towards Hidan who was coping a feel on the younger sister.
"Believe me, I do." He mumbled. There was a loud screech, a slap; Hidan recoiled with a very red handprint on the side of his face which stood out against his pale complexion.
"Settle down back there or I will turn this car around!"
"That wouldn't help, we're already here."
"Smart-ass ninjas."
The five of us all piled out of the car and headed towards the school's office; Sasori was perfectly calm while Deidara and Hidan couldn't keep calm for their lives. Their shoulders were tense, they kept looking around, and Hidan wouldn't stop flexing his hands like he wanted his scythe back. At least, that's what I thought.
We walked in and the first thing we noticed was the old woman at the desk up front. The name plate on the side said her name was Diane.
"Hello," her voice was sickeningly sweet, "what can I help you with?" Ren cleared her throat and tried to smile pleasantly at her, but even Hidan could see that she was staring Ren's patched eye.
"I'm here to enroll my sister and brothers...here." she finished. Sasori rolled his eyes.
Diane gave us a fake smile and stood up, leading us towards the Assistant Principal's office, telling us that he'd be able to help us soon. And so Ren and Sasori were sitting down in the two chairs directly in front of the desk while Deidara, Hidan, and I chilled out on the side lines.
"When's the fucker gonna get here?" Hidan groaned. Deidara smirked and dug one of his hands into the pocket of his jeans. Oh no…
"Deidara…what are you doing?" I asked, peering down at his hand, "No, no clay here."
"What, un? Hidan says he's bored so I thought I'd help out just a bit." He grinned, retrieving his hand and opening it, revealing a very miniature clay spider.
"Jealous, Hidan?" I smirked. He scoffed.
"Why would I be jealous of this fucker?"
"Because he has his weapon and you don't." There was a brief silence with me staring at him with this kind of laughable face, even Deidara was sending him this smug look. Sasori smirked like I had a pretty good point, even he himself had his weapon back. Speaking of Sasori…
"Hey, Sasori, how are you going to conceal your creepy ass puppets?" I asked.
"Same way we do everything else." He shrugged, lifting a finger. From his back materialized a rather large…'creepy ass' puppet. Ah, Genjutsu.
"That's awesome." Ren breathed, reaching out to touch it. Sasori glared at her and yanked his hand back, letting the puppet dance away from her reach.
"Idiot. It's covered in poison." He growled, setting it back onto his shoulders and relaxing his hands. He was so adorable and I don't care if anyone says differently. That sounded pretty lame…calling a ninja of 30 years adorable.
"Then how come you can…no, stupid question. What if someone accidentally bumps against your back?" She asked. Sasori shrugged and cast them a ghost of a smirk.
"I guess they'll have to deal with it then." He sighed, but I raised an eyebrow.
"Why type of poison is this…exactly?"
"I tested it on Hidan one day. You remember him falling off the roof that one time?" I nodded, "It paralyzes the body and takes over the cells, killing them off and destroying, clogging the arteries. Quite impressive that he could fall that far down and not die, though."
"You fucker. That's why I died that day."
"Not my fault."
"What do you mean it's not your fault, you FUCKING POISONED ME."
"You decided to eat lunch."
"OI, YOU PUPPET FUCKER."
"Ehem…"
We all turned towards the sound which was made from the short man in the doorway. He looked rather pissed off, actually. He looked us all over and walked around to sit behind his desk.
"Alright, what do we have here?" He started. Hidan raised an eyebrow as if to ask 'dafaq is with this guy'.
"My name is Ren and these are my…siblings." I had to hold back a laugh at that. We all looked so entirely different. This wasn't going to work.
"Adopted." Sasori added. The man nodded and slid a bunch of papers towards Ren, sighing.
"You have to sign all this, I'm sorry. Take all the time you need and then I'll get you some more." He sent her an apologetic look and excuse himself. When the door shut behind him, Hidan rolled his eyes.
"That was short." The scorpion mumbled. I agreed…that was short. Usually they'd stay and talk to us or something, right?
"What-the-fuck-ever. I just want to get this over with." Hidan groaned obnoxiously.
"Deidara," Ren said, lips pursed, "what are you doing?" The four of us turned to look at the blond whose hand was resting…rather oddly on the table. Oh, that spider, did he still have it?
"Nothing, un." Oh bullshit.
"Deidara. Don't do it." I threatened, voice heavily laced with dread. Oh lord, was he going to blow up the school?
"ART IS AN EXPLOSION."
"NO!"
"HOLY SHIT."
"DEIDARA!"
We were all screaming when Deidara launched the spider up to the roof; Hidan and I both tried to catch it, but neither of us could reach. Oh no. Oh Jashin.
"WHAT THE FUCK, DEIDARA?"