I OWN NOTHING BUT THE STORY LINE AND THE CHARACTERS THAT YOU DON'T KNOW FROM THE ANIME/MANGA!
Chapter One
The $$6000000000000 man
"Vash the Stampede?"
Two men were playing cards inside the Saloon in the middle of nowhere, their conversation turning to the recent events in some city.
"That's right. He's the man with the $$60 Billion on his head. They say he showed up in Dankin Town. Made quite a mess, I hear."
"So, what happened?"
"The whole town got wasted. Mountains of corpses. The coffin maker got so rich, he built himself a mansion made of wood!"
"The guy sounds plain crazy."
"He's more than crazy. I think it would be wise to keep a safe distance. Messing with Vash is like waltzing with death. He kills women and children, and picks off any town he pleases. 'The Humanoid Typhoon' is the perfect name for him!"
"You say he kills everyone but I've heard that he's got a woman following him everywhere."
"Yeah, probably his sex slave or something. Too scared to refuse traveling with him, I bet. The poor thing. I feel sorry for her. I wonder what she did to earn her fate."
"You've seen the harlot's moving around nowadays. She probably but off more than she could chew when flirting with him, thinking that he was just another fake. At least I hope that's what it is. I hope she wasn't dumb enough to think that she could trick him and take the bounty for herself."
The woman sitting at the bar dropped her head onto the table in front of her. Could these men be any dumber? Then again...considering the circumstances, what else could they say or think?
The man beside her gave her head a few pats with a smile before taking another drink from the glass in his hand.
Turning her head to look at the man beside her, she frowned. "This is your fault." She hissed.
He gave her another smile. "I'm sorry, Ki."
"This isn't going to cut it this time, Ericks."
As she hissed the name the man felt a shudder travel down his back. "Wh-what do you want this time?"
"The same thing that I always want. A nice, normal day where the men infatuated with you don't-"
The owner gave out a cry from outside and the two men turned to see him run off. It didn't take too long for them all to realize what was about to happen.
The woman lifted her head from the bar and gave a sigh, finishing her sentence. "-come and attack you religiously like so. I swear, you're just plain, bad luck."
The man echoed her sigh and readied himself for what would happen. It was always the same, day in and day out. Honestly, couldn't they just get a break?
Some kind of weapon came crashing through, knocking the top of the building clear off. It was then followed by gunshots. The entire saloon was destroyed…except where the man and woman were sitting behind the sign that had fallen in front of them, blocking the bullets. The man set his empty glass down and stood up. He stared at the men for a moment before pushing his sunglasses up. The woman glanced around him to take a look at their attackers. She wasn't impressed.
The large man with the boomerang gave a huge grin. "I finally found you."
The woman watched as her companion grabbed his gun; she fought hard against the grin that wanted to appear on her lips.
~Lost in the Darkness
Hoping for a sign
Instead there's only silence
Can't you hear my screams?~
"Have I ever told you how much I hate the sand?"
"Yes, Alex, you have."
"Well, I hate it. A lot."
"Yes, Alex, I know. And I tell you every time to get used to it because the sand is everywhere. We're stuck with it."
The man hung his head. "I know."
Alexander and Alexia Rush were twins at the age of 23. Alexander was tall, at 6'1' with short, red hair and a pair of green eyes. Wearing a pair off khaki pants and boots, his shirt was white and short with a tan jacket over it. He wore a silver, Knight Chess Piece earring and a bag hung on his left shoulder.
Alexia was the younger of the twins with long red hair pulled into a ponytail and green eyes. At the height of 5'8', she wore a pair of black, cut off shorts and a white tank top. Her weapon was strapped onto her back as she carried her own bag.
The twins were currently sitting at the bar in Felnarl Exit, waiting for something to eat as they ignored the others in the building. The radio behind the counter was going off about Dankin being ruined.
"Another town ruined, huh?" Alexia sighed, taking a drink from her glass.
"Yep." Alexander grunted, tapping his fingers on the table.
"You think it was Vash again?"
"Yep."
"Do you care?"
"Nope. You?"
"Fuck no."
The twins gave eachother a laugh. As Bounty Hunters, the twins were probably some of the few that could care less about the huge bounty on Vash the Stampede's head. Having see the destruction that man left behind him, both twins swore to eachother to NEVER try and capture the Humanoid Typhoon and so far, since they started being hunters 4 years ago, they had kept to that promise. While other idiots were trying to catch the infamous outlaw that left the other bounties for them to feast upon, an example being the Nebraska family; more than once.
The siblings were currently taking a break as they discussed who to go after next, Alexis happily volunteering the Bad Lads Gang, when the door to the bar opened. They both turned, glancing at the new people.
It was two women. The first woman was 5'2' in height with short, black hair and gray eyes and a pair of golden earrings. She was dressed head-to-foot in white with a frown on her face. Beside her was a taller woman, 5'11' with long brown hair and bright blue eyes, dressed in a yellow and green as she wore a smile on her face.
"Hey, Alex," Alexia began, watching the two women as they moved to the bar beside them. "Does that tall one look familiar to you?"
Alexander glanced at the other woman for a moment before turning back to his sister. "Nope."
"You sure?"
"Yeah. Why?"
"Nothing. I guess I'm just being weird." She sighed, leaning back in her cheer.
"And how is that different than any other day?" He teased her.
She shoved him. "Shut up."
"A banana sundae!" the short girl answered the bartender.
"And I will have a mille-feuille with Ceylon tea!" the other smiled with a bright voice.
Alexia began to laugh as the men behind them made their own retorts. "I take it that they've never been in a bar before."
"Who in the hell wants to eat ice cream in a bar?" Alexander grunted, turning in his chair in time to see the tall woman drop a huge gun from her dress, knocking one of the men in the face with a table.
"I'm so sorry!" She rubbed the back of her head before reaching down to pick her gun back up. "That stupid sling broke again." The men took in the sight of the huge gun and left them alone.
"You have another one, don't you?" Her companion asked. "You should be more careful."
"Yeah, I know."
"Nonsense." Both turned and watched as Alexia stood up and moved towards them. "Let me see it." The two women watched for a moment as she worked on the woman's gun. She gave a grin as she handed it back. "There you go. Not good as new, but you don't have to worry about the strap breaking again anytime soon."
"Thank you!" The woman smiled, clearly grateful.
"Hey, no problem. We ladies got to stick together when it comes to being with those morons, right?"
"You're telling me." The shorter woman grunted.
"Hey," Alexander hissed from his own seat. "I'd rather not be stuck to that category, thank you." The taller woman gave a laugh with Alexia before her companion turned to the bartender again.
"By the way, mister, we heard that Vash the Stampede was in Felnarl recently. Is there anything you can tell us?"
"What about Vash?" the Bartender asked. "And why are you asking?"
Alexia pulled a face. "Jesus, don't tell me that the two of you are bounty hunters."
"Oh, not at all," The short one answered.
"Yeah, actually," The tall one smiled. "We're just passing through here on business."
"Business?" The man turned. "Well, I didn't see him myself. As far as I can tell, he was gone from the city by dawn. Last I heard he was headed out to the east."
"Can you tell me any more about him?"
"Well, he stands about 12 feet tall and wields a huge weapon. And he's supposed to have a Mohawk. He had tons of henchman and is the worst kind of womanizer out there."
"A womanizer." The tall one hissed.
"Yeah, I heard him." The other woman sighed.
Alexia sighed. They were just never going to get away from the Humanoid Typhoon anytime soon, were they? She didn't know what made her more depressed; hearing about that weirdo or all the little shits that were trying to get a piece of him.
"Jeez, I hate this crap." Alexander sighed as he stood up from his chair. "I try to get away from Vash the Stampede and we end up being dragged back in it. I wouldn't mind so much if it was a hot chick but damn," He grabbed his bag. "Let's go, Alexia."
"Aww, but Alexander!" Alexia began to pout. "I wanna finish our food."
"Let's go."
"Hey, wait a second!" The twins paused and looked back at the tall woman of the two. "Are you two…are you the twins?"
"That's right!" Alexia nodded. "You don't see many twins around any more, unfortunately, but me and Alex here are a pair of lucky ones!"
Her brother snorted. "Speak for yourself."
His sister glared at him. "Piss off!"
"Red hair..." The tall woman began to mumble aloud as she stared at the duo. "Green eyes...twins...Alex...your last name wouldn't happen to be Rush, would it?"
Alexia nodded happily again. "That's right." It had happened before; they were recognized as Bounty Hunters by people in bars before. Ever since taking down the entire Nebraska Family, Alexis didn't like to boast, but-
"As in Alexander and Alexia Rush?"
"Yeah, we are." Alexander answered her, crossing his arms. This woman...something seemed familiar to him now. "And just who are you?"
A huge smiled spread on her face. "Alex, it's me! Milly!"
"Milly?" He asked.
Alexia stared at her for a moment before her own smile spread across her face. "I told you that I recognized her, Alex!"
"What the hell did I miss?" the young man grunted, still staring between his sister and the other woman.
"It's me, Alex. Milly. Milly Thompson."
Alexander stared at her for a moment as he remembered the young woman standing before him. "Son of a-"
~Never stop hoping
Need to know where you are
But one thing's for sure
You're always in my heart~
"I thought I was gonna suffocate for a minute there!"
"I thought that's what your straw was for."
"Well, it seems that it didn't work."
"Most of your plans never work, you know. Why do you even bother?"
"Aww, you're no fun, Kyri."
"Not with maniacs chasing us like this I'm not! I swear, we hardly get a chance to catch our breath or relax before-"
"Hey, it's Va-" Kyri was fast, knocking the elder bounty hunter in the face with her fist, her eyes never shifting from her companion.
"-more of your fans come calling."
The man smiled bright at his companion before moving forward to go through the man's pockets. "Hi there and pardon me!"
Kyri watched him for a moment before turning from him, trying not to smile again. "Let's hurry up and go before we're found again, hmm?"
"Give me a second," He then smiled as he pulled out some bullets. "Thanks for nothing, fellas. That was a pretty close one. Almost went to pieces. It's actually a miracle that we got away with it this time."
Kyri gave a sigh, looking at the man before her; the one and only Vash the Stampede. Vash was tall, at 5'11', with spiky yellow hair that added a few more inches to his height; nearly five, and dressed head to foot in a red duster.
Kyri stood at 5'9' with long, black hair that hung to her hips and a pair of bright blue eyes. She was wearing a pair of black pants and boots with a blue and white, shoulder less top, her weapon, a Silver Gunblade, strapped to the back of her hips, made to hang behind her legs with several belts and straps.
"Maybe you should make sure your gun is loaded next time before you move, okay?" She asked him.
"Yeah…"
Kyri sighed. She knew that he agreed to but knew that he would refuse to do as she said. It's just how her companion was; how he had always been. Sometimes she wondered how she hadn't strangled him for all the trouble they had gotten into when he fired and forgot his gun wasn't loaded. Then again, his doing so was one of his...finer traits.
"I found them! They're over here!" They both turned to find another of the men from the bar they had been attacked in earlier staring at them.
Vash grabbed the other man's gun and tossed it at the enemy with a yell. The man fell backwards. "Perfect shot!"
Three more of the enemy popped up and began to fire at them. Kyri ran on her feet but Vash crawled after her in his hands and feet, both of them, surprisingly, dodging the bullets.
"Damn things," Kyri grunted as they paused behind the rocks. She could handle this in seconds if she was allowed but she had made a promise with Vash; one that she swore she wouldn't break. She glanced at the said man beside her. He was breathing hard. "You okay, Vash?"
"No, I'm getting hungry," He told her before glancing around the corner. He frowned. "They're persistent."
"Wanna beat them up?" she asked the man beside her.
"I have a better idea," He told her. "Just watch." Kyri rolled her eyes, unable to help herself as a smile spread across her lips. "Ha ha ha! I'm like a sitting duck over here! I'm defenseless!" She heard the gunshots going off behind where she stood and peeked around the corner, watching as Vash had grabbed the enemy's gun and used the bullets to draw a chibi picture of himself, giving a peace sign.
"Shit!" the enemy turned to face him but Vash pulled out his own gun against his head.
"Now, stand real still. You wouldn't want this gun to go off, would you?"
The man gulped. "I found him! He's right over here, boss!"
"Er, I'd rather you lowered the gun quietly." Vash admitted.
"Forget it!"
"Surely you don't like pain?"
"I'm used to it." The man answered fearlessly; it made Kyri frown.
"Well, I feel sorry for your wife and kids; you'll make them cry." Vash told him.
"I ain't got no kids and women find me pretty offensive, so I'm single!"
"Ha! That don't surprise me," Kyri commented.
"What a lonely life." Vash sighed.
"I'm telling you-" He paused as Vash pulled back from him before using his own gun. "You have to die. It would sure make us all happy if you do."
Vash stared at him for a moment before giving a small smile. "Sorry. I don't do requests." He then caught the sound to their side. "Get down!" Vash and Kyri were both down, Vash getting hit in the shoulder, but the bandit had gotten caught by that leader's boomerang.
"Boss! Help me!"
The large freak wore a smile. "Nice work. My compliments."
"Attacking while you're pal's in the line of fire," Vash began. "Where's the justice in that?"
"We're not pals," Came the large man's answer. "We are partners in fate! My happiness is his happiness!"
~This guys' nothing but scum,~ Kyri found herself hissing in her head. If looks could kill her glare should have offed this bastard by now.
"That's just beautiful." Vash grunted, holding his left shoulder.
"You can shoot me if that'll make you feel better." The large man taunted.
"Don't tempt me." Kyri hissed at him.
"Actually," Vash began. "I can't stand blood. Just the very sight of it makes me feel a little faint."
Sadly, that was true for her blond-haired companion. Her, on the other hand...
"Fine then! Let's see what happens when you see your own blood!" The leader kicked the wounded man at them, telling him to hold Vash down. Kyri watched as Vash caught the man and gave a firm frown. She lowered her hand to the sling hanging off of her hips but Vash gave her a look, making her stop. She frowned and crossed her arms, letting both of them get captured.
"Hey, couldn't you guys be a little more gentle?" Vash whined a few minutes later.
He was ignored. "Good. Now to take them in to the Feds." The men began to give cheers that were cut off at the sight of four above the hill.
"Milly, Meryl," Alexia sighed, staring down at the scene before them. She was getting a horrible feeling from all this. "I thought you said we weren't heading towards Stampede."
"I believe that's what you call a lie," Milly laughed at her friend.
"Dammit, I should have known," Alexander grunted, crossing his arms. "Milly, I thought you were our friend!"
"Oh, I am." Milly smiled at him. "We did grow up, after all, and having the two of you here with me while I work will make everything so much better! Won't you stay?"
"Are you going to be working with Vash the Stampede?"
"Yes."
"THEN NO!"
Kyri exchanged a look with the man beside her. Their voices had been carried down to them due to the other silence in the area and both could say that they hadn't been expecting that conversation at all. He gave her a small grin as Milly and Meryl moved closer to the group. The twins stayed on their rides, watching, just in case.
Both of these women looked like they were about to piss themselves.
"I'm very pleased to meet you," Meryl began to say. "My name is Meryl. I'm Meryl Stryfe from the Bernardelli Insurance Society."
"And I'm Milly Thompson."
"Please accept this token of good will." Meryl announced, holding out a box of donuts to the large man.
~What the hell are these guys doing?~ Kyri asked herself. Were they...actually trying to give this guy donuts? How dumb were they!?
"What are you doing here? You with them?" the large man asked, glancing at the duo. Vash began to chuckle at her and pulled a face when Meryl looked away.
"No! We're here on behalf of the Bernardelli Insurance Society for Vash the-" Everyone jumped as a gunshot went off above them. They all turned their attention to the new man standing above them with a gun.
"I finally found you, my $$60 billion beauty, Vash the Stampede." Everyone stared at him. "My name is Loose Ruth, the bounty hunter called 'Constance Rifle'. Mr. Vash the Stampede, I'm here for your head."
The tied up woman hung her head. ~It's just a never ending cycle. One freak after another just shows up and ruins our lives just a little more.~
"Hey, I've heard of him." Alexia commented to her brother.
Kyri's attention was grabbed by the bump in her arm. She glanced at Vash. The look he gave her told her to get ready to move. She gave a nod, and waited. Meryl tried to talk to the men, but both of them ignored her as they talked to eachother.
"You think the boss is Vash?" One of the men called out. "Where the hell did you get that idea?"
"I'm not fool enough to listen to no henchman." Ruth told them. "That's a mighty poor joke."
"This is ridiculous! Quit wasting my time." He turned to leave but Ruth made him freeze.
"You dressed in a red coat, you have earrings, and your legs are short. I'm convinced you are Vash the Stampede."
"You're out of your mind! Vash is a blond man in a red coat, with a big gun and a girl at his side!"
"No he isn't." Meryl shouted. "Vash is a man with a big weapon and a Mohawk!"
"All these people are morons!" Kyri sighed, hanging her head. She watched as the large man and Ruth began to fight. A bomb went off close by to them and Vash had blocked her, taking the hit on his own. "Come on, let's get out of here!" She told him as she stood up.
"I'm really scared!" Milly cried. "The Humanoid Typhoon is loose. What do we do, Meryl?"
"We run, that's what!" Alexander called to them. The two women seemed to agree with that and hurried back to the duo. "Give me a warning next time, you two!" He hissed. "So I know when to run away and leave you on your own! I- hey!"
The four on the animals looked surprised as they finally noticed the duo that was running beside them. Alexia was amazed that they could keep up with them.
"We have to give the town an evacuation order, or else!" Meryl was saying.
"But Meryl, isn't running away like this the same as abandoning our post?" Milly asked.
"You run away, you live to continue your job. You stay, you die. Pick which one you want." Alexia replied.
"Mmm, these are really good!"
The voice caught their attention and again they turned to find the man in red eating the donuts that Meryl had gone to give to the large man. Alexia tilted her head to the side for a moment as they watched the new woman reach over and grab one of her own.
"When did you get those?" Meryl asked him.
"Hey, thanks!" He smiled, ignoring her question. "I was getting really hungry! These things hitting the spot!"
"Give me those!" She ripped the box away. "You know, we didn't come out here just to save your sorry butts!"
Kyri laughed as her companion took the box back. "Okay, then what were you doing there? You go for guys like that?"
"Shut up! It's not like that at all." She took the box back again. "We came to this place on official business."
"That's right." Milly smiled. "We're disaster investigators for the Bernardelli Insurance Society!"
Vash had grabbed the box again; Kyri grabbed another donut. "So why are insurance people after a wanted man?"
"Hey, you wanna jump up here for a ride?" Kyri turned her head, donut in mouth, to see that Alexia had pulled up beside her. "At least until we get to the next town?"
Kyri glanced at Vash as he and Meryl continued to fight over the box. She grabbed the last donut, making both of them groan, before shaking her head at Alexia, her mouth too full to answer. She wasn't being rude but she didn't know this woman. She didn't trust anyone outside of Vash and...
"24-hour!?" Vash then gave out a cry and came to a stop. The others pulled their animals to a stop as well.
"Really?" Kyri grunted in disbelief. "You're gonna stalk the Stampede?"
It was official. All these people were stupid.
"Is something wrong?" Milly asked.
"No, nothing." Vash turned his head for a moment, a horrid look on his face.
"Oh, I got it." Meryl pulled out a 10. "In exchanged for this and the donuts, would you please go warn the town? I'll even lend you my own personal Thomas."
"You're not actually going back there, are you?" Alexander asked the woman.
"It's the job. It's what I do." She answered him.
"Dammit." The man hissed as Meryl and Milly took off. "Let's go, Alexia."
His sister frowned as Kyri shook her head in disbelief. "Really? Do we have to go after them?"
"It would haunt me forever if they get hurt or worse."
Kyri watched the four of them head back to the others. "So, what do you want to do, Vash?"
The blond stared at the money in his hand for a moment before glancing back up at the woman with a smile. "We're going to go back."
"But why?"
Vash pulled a face. "I forgot that the guy has my gun!"
Kyri opened her mouth to retort before reaching behind her for her gunblade; she gave a hiss. They had her's still, too.
"Looks like they're done to me." Alexander announced.
"Thank goodness there was no damage." Meryl sighed.
"But didn't that bounty hunter get killed?" Milly asked. "I'd call that a casualty."
"That's true; very sad."
"Eh, that's what he gets for sticking his nose in somewhere it shouldn't be." Alexia commented with a shrug. In this line of work it was bound to happen; you had to keep on your toes. She had seen it multiple times over the last four years to let someone else's death bother her too much anymore.
"Well, how are we going to approach him this time?" Milly asked.
"Hold on," Alexander began. "The two of you are actually going to go confront those guys again? You know something bad could happen, right?"
"That's why you and your sister are here with us now, right?" Milly asked him with a smile.
Alexander opened his mouth to refuse it but the smile on her face made him begin to sweat. He hung his head. "Sure…why not?"
~Always got to help the women in need, don't you, Alex?~ Alexia shook her head but then all four of them gave a yell as the cliff they were sitting on was destroyed and they joined the group down below them.
"Damn, you could be nice, at least!" Alexia hissed, rubbing her back.
"You've got a lot of nerve coming back here!" The man with the boomerang growled. Meryl offered him more food but he shook his head. "I hate presents. Now where's the two that you ran away with?"
"I-I don't know. We split up half-way." Milly answered him.
The man snorted. "It was so damned hard to track him down." He turned to the man standing behind him; Ruth. "What the hell are we going to do about this, Ruth?"
"How can you still be alive?" Meryl asked. "I thought you two were fighting to the death!"
"It looks as though we both made a little error." Ruth replied.
"We made the error? You're the one who screwed up! Now listen! We split the pot 70/30."
"That'll never work." Alexia sighed.
"What is this about?" Meryl wondered aloud.
"Let's get going."
"Hold on a minute."
…
"Really? That's your plan?" Alexia sighed, struggling with her hands as one of the men held them and her brother's. Meryl and Milly were tied up to be used as bait. They didn't have enough rope to tie up the twins, too.
"What good will this do?" The large man seemed to agree with Alexia.
"Don't worry about it," Ruth replied. "Just enjoy them."
"You have bad taste." The man grunted. "Sick and twisted, but…I kind of like it." He glanced at the other man. "You can have the two of them, I'll take that one."
Alexia gave a horrified look. "The hell you will!"
"They did say he was the 'worse kind of womanizer'." Milly grunted.
"Now is not the time to remind me of that." Meryl replied.
"So, ladies, I wanna know what you want. Pleasure before death or death without pleasure?"
"Coming from you, I'd rather just die, thank you." Alexia told him, pulling her face away as he moved to touch her.
"BOSS! WE HAVE A BIG PROBLEM!" A voice cried out.
"I'm busy." He replied.
"ACTUALLY, IT'S ME THAT HAS THE PROBLEM!" Their faces all turned to find the man in red from before, having no control of the Thomas that he rode towards them.
As the men were turned towards the oncoming one, Alexia was pleased to see Kyri jump in out of nowhere and cut Meryl and Milly from the ropes before taking care of rescuing her and her brother from the men. "Get out of here," She told them, rotating her right wrist. She had given the bastard that held her Gunblade an uppercut; it had been a while since she had dished one out to anyone.
"Thanks for saving me the trouble to come looking for you, Vash the Stampede!" the man cried, throwing out his boomerang.
"Go!" Kyri told them, pushing them.
"But we have to help your friend, right?" Alexia asked as they moved.
Kyri gave her a smile. "Don't worry. Ericks can take care of himself."
The five of them ducked behind some rocks and watched as the bounty hunters went after Vash as he ran and hid.
"You know," Alexander began. "These bounty hunters are morons."'
"Tell me something we don't know already." His sister replied.
"We can't see anything," Meryl whined.
Kyri stared at the woman for a moment before standing up to take in the scene before her. If these people were another group just hunting the Humanoid Typhoon then they should part ways as soon as possible.
"I don't believe it." Alexia's voice made their heads turn back to the cliff and they saw the man standing there without a wound, let alone ruffled clothing. He saw them and gave a thumbs-up.
"So, did I work off the donuts and the $$10 or what?" He then tossed his head back and gave a stupid, horrible laugh that made Kyri shake her head as she moved towards her companion. His laughter then turned into screams of horror as an explosion happened, knocking off a corner of the cliff. The huge rock fell down onto Felnarl.
Kyri slapped her palm over her face as a look of horror attached itself onto Vash's face.
~Vash, you're just one big ball of bad luck, aren't you?~
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