May 19, 2013 – Santana Lopez and Brittany Pierce early morning departure from LAX
Santana reached out for my hand as we got off the plane. I quickly grabbed it tight knowing that within minutes we were going to be surrounded by flashing cameras. Santana, Rachel, Quinn, Kurt, and I made our way quickly through the airport only stopping to get in the car that was waiting for us. We got in the car and I relaxed a little more but Santana didn't let go of my hand, it made me happy. We pulled away from the airport headed to our hotel to get ready for the awards tonight.
May 19, 2013 – Santana Lopez and Brittany Pierce arrive on the Billboard Music Awards blue carpet
To be honest the whole "red carpet" doesn't freak me out as much as just regular paparazzi, I think it's because on red carpets there are restrictions and there is a set procedure, in other words it's less chaotic.
We are currently in the limo with Quinn, Rachel, and Kurt on the way to the MGM Grand Garden Arena, that's one place I never thought I would be. I look over at Santana and I can just see how nervous she is. I don't blame her. I reach over and take her hand. She looks at me and I smile a reassuring smile at her.
"You look really good in that dress San." She's wearing this short red and gold sparkly dress, with gold jewelry, it's all from some really famous designer, but all I know is that I am the luckiest woman alive. My girlfriend looks absolutely gorgeous; of course she looks gorgeous all the time, but still.
"You're sweet babe," she says leaning over to kiss me on the cheek. That's when I notice Quinn, Rachel, and Kurt staring at us.
"What?" Santana asks facing the other three.
"Oh nothing," Kurt says. "You two are just super cute that's all."
Santana rolls her eyes embarrassed. Other people might not have noticed her embarrassment, because she does a good job of hiding it, but I can always tell when Santana is embarrassed. She says ethnic people don't blush, it's a lie, she blushes all the time when I flirt with her.
We pull up in front of the carpet and Quinn gets out first followed by Rachel, and then Kurt. Finally I step out to a burst of screaming. I turn around to help Santana out of the car, and I swear the screaming increases ten-fold.
We stop so that Santana can sign some autographs. Rachel is in the middle of talking to me about the procedure for these things, when a security guard comes up to us.
"Excuse me Ms. Pierce, some of the fans were wondering if you were going to sign autographs too?" He asks nicely.
I'm speechless for a moment. Never in my life would I have thought people would want my autograph. I mean come on, I'm not an actress or a singer.
"Yes she will be" Rachel answers for me.
"Wait what?" I say to her as the security guard smiles and leaves. "Rachel, I don't know the first thing about autographs!" I insist.
"Britt, come on what is there to know, you go and sign your name on a piece of paper for them" she says.
I glance over at the fans. A lot of them seem to be watching Rachel and I talk. I guess it couldn't hurt to try it. I cautiously walk over to a little girl who looks like she is maybe seven or eight, and a teenage girl who looks to be about seventeen or eighteen.
"Oh my god! Hi Brittany! We are huge fans!" The older girl says talking about her and the younger girl.
"Hi, what's your name?" I ask a little dazed by her enthusiasm.
"Maggie and this is my little sister Grace!" She says excitedly.
I look down at Grace who looks really happy and kind of nervous.
I sign the older girl's paper and then I kneel down in front of the younger girl.
"Hi Grace, I'm Brittany," I say trying to get her to relax a bit.
"I know my sissy and I watched you win on So You Think You Can Dance," she says proudly.
"Aww, well thanks for watching. So your name's Grace right?" I say signing her paper.
"Yeah." She says with a smile.
"Cool, I have a best friend named Grace." I say giving her back her paper. She smiles up at me. I stand up and wave to her sister before moving on to sign some other autographs.
I sign about ten or fifteen more. I stop and look behind me to see Santana smiling proudly in my direction. I turn around and walk back to her, lacing my fingers with hers.
"They love you baby, just like me" she says with a smile.
I pull her into a tight hug; I kiss her lips lightly as well pull apart and head towards the cameras. I know I complain about the flashes and how it is scary, but I feel like I could face that and so much more, any day with Santana by my side. She pulls me onto the carpet and into her side as she smiles into the camera. I place my arm on her lower back and smile straight at the cameras. It feels great. The rest of the carpet goes great. Every once in a while though I find myself just staring at Santana, I can't help it, I'm in love. She catches me once and nuzzles her face into my neck, I'm pretty sure everyone knows she's embarrassed then. We finish up, as Rachel commends us for doing a great job. We make our way into the arena, and find our seats. The show starts and I can feel Santana tense up even though it's not even time for her category yet. I put my hand gently on her knee getting her to look at me. I give her a reassuring smile and I can feel her relax a little.
"I'm sorry Britt, I know I am too nervous, I just can't…"
"Don't apologize, I just don't like to see you tense" I say genuinely. She leans over, gives me a kiss on the cheek, and then directs her attention back to the show.
The show continues on and I can tell that Santana is completely captivated watching all the performances and awards. I know I probably should be too, I mean for god's sake I am surrounded by some of the biggest names in music, but all I can think about is how Santana is holding my hand, and how I never want her to let go. I watch as two more presenters take the stage, and the words Top Hot 100 Song come onto the big screen. Santana squeezes my hand tighter and I can feel Quinn, Rachel, and Kurt tense near me, hell I tensed up too. This is a big moment for her and all I want is for her to win that award and to see a smile on her face.
"And the winner is… 'Somebody I Used To Know' Goyte feat. Kimbra!"
I swear every single one of deflates. I look over at Santana who stares straight ahead, with a sad smile on her face. I know she is just trying to be a good sport for the camera. She doesn't want to look to disappointed, but I can feel it. She's sad. It makes me sad. I squeeze her hand softly and bring it to my lips for a quick kiss. She gives me a sad smile and then returns her attention to the stage. The rest of the show goes by pretty quickly. Santana's other two categories are announced, she doesn't win either one, but these two don't seem to mean as much to her as Top Hot 100 Song did. Each time I look over at her and she has a blank, determined expression on her face. I just want her to win Top New Artist, because she really does deserve it. Her album is flawless and you can feel the heart and soul in each one of her songs. She is the most amazing woman I have ever met and she deserves this. She needs to win.
I watch as Jennifer Morrison walks onstage to present the award for Top New Artist and this time I'm the one who squeezes her hand harder. I want this for her.
"The nominees for Top New Artist this year, are some of the most extraordinary Billboard has ever seen. They have accomplished feats that are beyond my imagination, here are the nominees for Top New Artist."
We watch them roll the clips of the nominees and I can't help but smile at Santana's. They have "Out" playing in the background while it shows clips from her music video and behind-the-scenes stuff. God she's amazing.
"The winner of Billboard Music Awards, Top New Artist is…"
I feel all five of us take a collective breath as we wait. It feels like hours.
"Santana Lopez!"
"Oh my god San! You did it!" I can't help but jump out of my seat and scream.
I watch her jaw drop as she stands up and moves to give me a kiss. I kiss her lightly as she makes her way towards the stage. I remain standing along with everyone else.
"This is nuts, I mean of course I wanted this, but I didn't think it would actually happen. God. I have so many people to thank. My family of course, my sister, my manager and best friend, Quinn, my publicist Rachel, my beautiful girlfriend, my stylist Kurt, Rob Knox, Justin Timberlake, everyone at Universal and Interscope, but most importantly my fans. I want you all to know how much you mean to me and that no matter what anyone else says, you are worth it, you are beautiful, you are special, and you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Thank you so much! I watch her turn around and exit and I can feel the cameras on me rapidly move to the far right stage. She comes back out after about fifteen minutes, with the biggest smile I think I have ever seen. She's gorgeous and sexy and cute all at the same time. I can't help but ooze with pride. She sits down next to me and pulls me in for a kiss.
"I am so proud of you Santana," I say looking right in her eyes. She squeezes my hand.
It's true I don't know if I have ever been more proud of someone in my life. But then again I don't think I have ever been this in love with someone in my life.