Hello, chickadees! I hope everyone is ready for the weekend (or has already gotten into some sort of trouble)! Here is a (I know, I know) short update for you to tide you over until tomorrow, when I will hopefully have the next chapter complete. We are nearing the end of Grace's story, and I hope you have enjoyed it as much as I have! And yes, if I finish the next chapter early, I will post it tonight. That's how much I love you guys! ;)
Sirius couldn't sleep. He tossed and turned on the couch in the drawing room, cursing himself for his jealousy of a brother long dead. Regulus seemed to have a solid hold on Grace's heart, no matter what he did. He could understand that. They had married young- most likely both virgins, if Sirius knew his brother like he thought he did. Reg would have been too honorable to sow his wild oats as Sirius had done, and he certainly wouldn't have mixed with anyone other than purebloods.
Sirius rolled over and stared at the old, moldy ceiling, purposefully avoiding looking at the tapestry that bore that hateful burn mark over his name- and the ever present skull that gleamed out from above his brother's. He wished he could set it on fire and dance in the ashes- purge himself of all the hated memories that came to mind whenever he glanced at it, but he knew Grace would never stand for it. He hated this house. It was oppressive and gloomy, and it felt like a prison. The only ray of sunshine within was Grace. Her laughter could light up a room like a thousand candles. Sirius groaned and passed his hand over his face. This wasn't helping. For while Grace could bring joy to his monotonous life- while her smile could make his pulse race and his heart pound- she could also, without meaning to, bring him so much pain.
Why did he love her? That was a question he knew the answer to. She was beautiful, sweet, headstrong, and intelligent. She could make him melt just by shooting him a sideways glance. When he had been younger, such a woman would have been easy prey- almost not even worth the challenge. Almost. But now- twelve years in Azkaban for a crime he didn't commit had changed him. He was moodier, certainly. More sullen. More- well- serious. He chuckled humorlessly. He had missed out on a lot of his life. He was ready to settle down, find a bride of his own, have children. Considering that he wasn't allowed out of the house, Grace was pretty much the only option. But that wasn't why he loved her. Theirs was a bittersweet love- tinged with the sharp acidic memory of his younger brother, who still occupied the secret corners of her heart, no matter what Sirius did to try and banish him from her thoughts.
A creak in the doorway caught his attention, and he sat up, his hand already scrabbling for his wand on the floor beside the couch.
"Sirius?" Grace's voice was soft. He could tell that she had been crying.
"Grace. I'm here," was all he said, and he watched her move towards the couch and sit beside him, feeling for his hand. She held it in her lap, nestled between hers, and spoke haltingly. "Sirius, I- I'm so sorry."
He thought about bringing up the old argument, demanding to know why Regulus still had such a hold on her heart when she had promised him- but he bit back the harsh words and remained silent, blood pooling like bile in his mouth from where he held his tongue firmly between his teeth.
Grace, taking his silence for anger, sat very still. It wasn't until he felt hot tears drip onto his fingers that Sirius realized she was crying again. Instinctively, he lifted his hand, still wrapped around hers, and wiped a droplet gently from her cheek. Before he could examine them properly, words tumbled out of his mouth in the form of the one question he had sworn he would never ask her. "When you look at me, who do you see?" Having said the forbidden words, he froze, hating the silence, but fearing her answer.
"Oh, Sirius." Grace's curls enveloped him as she leaned forward, taking his face in her hands and pulling him close to her. Her eyes met his as tears continued to spill, unchecked, down her face. "I see you. Only you. He is just a memory- and that's all he will ever be."
Thankful that she had refused to speak the name of the rival Sirius had faced since his childhood, he closed his eyes. She surprised him by pressing her warm lips to his. Desperate to show her that he loved her, that he always would, he opened his mouth and kissed her back, allowing his passion to flow into the kiss. Taking her trembling body into his arms, he made love to her gently, tenderly, eager to show her that she had as strong a hold on him as he knew, deep down, Reg still did on her.