A/N: I know it's short but i wanted to get done with that cliffhanger (even though i've kind of left you with another, #sorrynotsorry hehe), i hope i can update tomorrow too. Enjoy.
I felt frozen. I don't really know how long I stood there for before my dad came to the door and realized who was standing on the porch. I stood there dumbfounded. I heard my dad say something along the lines of "Jesus Christo" before my mother came up behind me and pulled me further into the house. She led me into the living room where Brittany was standing, very obviously concerned. She stepped towards me running her hands up and down my arms.
"San." She said quietly. My mother quickly turned to leave. My mind finally registered people yelling at the front of the house. I felt her take my hand as she led me outside to the back yard. As soon as the chilly, fall air hit my face, I began to come out of my daze. Still not entirely sure what was happening I felt her stroke my cheek.
"It was her," I said lamely. I could still feel the shock.
"I know," she replied slowly.
"Why is she here? Why did she have to show up now and bring back all those painful memories?" The shock had worn off, and now all I felt was anger and pain. The pain of being left behind. The pain of being "a disappointment", "a shame", "a disgrace". I felt hot tears roll down my cheeks. I willed myself to stop crying. That's not what Lopezs do, we don't cry, we fight back, but at this moment in time I just can't get myself to do anything other than cry.
I felt strong arms envelop me into a gentle hug. I felt her warmth, and her comfort, as she whispered softly in my ear.
"It's okay to cry, honey" she said softly. She knows I don't like to cry in front of people because it shows weakness.
"No it's not I say," removing myself from her arms and pacing around the yard. "She shouldn't be able to have this power over me. She shouldn't be able to send me into a fit of tears just by showing up. Why am I so weak? I should be stronger than this! God damn it!" I say my voice steadily rising. I know she hates it when I yell, so I try to calm my voice.
"Santana." She says stepping closer to me and lifting my chin to meet her eyes. "You're not weak," she says with a firm tone. "The fact that you're upset shows that you cared and loved her, despite the horrible thing she did to you and that takes more strength than anything."
I know she's right. When it comes to things like this, feelings and emotions, she's a genius. I lean up and peck her lips softly, wrapping my arms around her neck. She puts her arms around my waist and pulls me closer, as I nuzzle my face into her neck. I don't know how long we stand there, quietly breathing in and out, before I pull back to look at her.
"You're a genius Brittany."
She smiles slightly "Duh."
I chuckle lightly and take her hand in mine headed back towards the house. She squeezes my hand as I open the door and step into the house once more. I can still hear the yelling from the front hallway. I freeze at the sound of her voice.
"Roberto, please don't you see the stain she is leaving on our family! It is shameful and a disgrace, you know how your father would feel…"
"Stop! Don't bring that up! We both know how dad would feel and it's not how you feel, but regardless I am tired of having this argument with you! We have had it too many times! I have said it once and I will say it again, Santana is my daughter, she is a part of my family no matter who she loves! And if you can't accept that then you won't be a part of my family, mother!"
"Roberto, please think about what you are doing and what you are saying by…"
"I think you should leave and come back when you are ready to accept your granddaughter for who she really is."
I watch as my mother comes towards me and pulls me into a hug. I don't move. I don't hug back. I don't take my hand out of Brittany's. It barely even registers that someone is touching me. I am so conflicted and confused by the mess of emotions in my head right now.
"Don't worry about it Mija, your Pappi has it under control."
I snap back to reality quickly.
"How often does this happen?" I ask trying to sort things out.
"Probably about once a week or so, "my dad says entering the room and taking a seat on the couch. "She comes over wanting to have dinner with us, and by the end of the night she sneaks in the a comment about how I am making a mistake embracing your sexuality. It's absolutely nuts, and I really have had enough of it."
It's a weird feeling of emotions. On the one hand I love my dad for sticking up for me and being firm with my abuela, but on the other hand she sounds lonely, and Brittany's right I do still love her and care about her.
"Do you think she's okay?" I asked hesitantly.
"What do you mean, you saw her she's fine, just as judgmental as ever" he said with a very obvious edge in his voice.
"Pappi, that's not what I meant if she's coming over her once a week she might be lonely."
"So? You heard what I said to her, I don't want her coming around here if she can't accept her own granddaughter."
I know I should feel glad that my dad is taking my side and defending me, but it just doesn't feel right.