"Hermione." He whispered. It was all he could get out. Cold dread was seeping through his insides, chilling his bones.
She took a deep breath and moved to sit on the bed. For a few seconds she stayed quiet, still fiddling with her scarf. Then she looked up at him, eyes blazing.
"Well? Are you going to tell me why you did it?" She hissed angrily, her lower lip trembling.
for you, i did it for you..
"I... I don't... I can't...There's nothing I can say to make this right." He said finally, looking down at his shoes.
She nodded thoughtfully.
"You knew. You knew how I felt about you. You've always known." She said softly, no accusation in her tone. Just acknowledgement. It made him sick with self disgust. Why had this seemed like okay at the time?
"Hermione...Please.. don't..."
"Was it because you felt sorry for me, Harry? Did I look pathetic to you?" She looked up again, the first hint of tears in her eyes.
And his heart broke. He couldn't bear to see her cry. He could never bear to see her cry. He was at her side in an instant, fingers wrapping around her shoulder, pulling her close and hugging her.
"I'm sorry, so sorry...I'm sorry..." He kissed her hair, repeating the same thing over and over again. She didn't cry, however. Instead she pulled back, pushed him away. And somehow that hurt more.
"Tell me why. Please, I need to understand." She said, biting her lips.
Harry swallowed, throat refusing to work.
"He.. he asked me to. I.. Hermione,I swear I refused at first ... but then...then ...I imagined you being alone , sad , on your anniversary..."
"And you felt sorry for me.." She said bitterly, disgust dripping off each syllable.
"NO! No... I swear, it wasn't pity...I'm not... Hermione, look at me. I lost everything. I'm a criminal, I lost my wife , my unborn child.." He stopped and froze.
They both did.
Hermione was staring at him, slack jawed.
"Harry.." She said,eyes round and shocked but he held a hand up.
"No.. no its.. its fine.. just... this isn't about me. I just... I want you to think of the kind of guy I am. Right now? I'm the most pathetic guy on the planet, Mia. Do you think I have the right to pity anyone? Much less you?" He said, looked at her with a silent plea.
She looked torn.
" Harry.."
" I know, first hand, how little it takes to wreck a marriage. And I know how much it hurts when that happens. I didn't want my best friends to go through that. Not just because Ron couldn't make it to your anniversary.I didn't want you to... think you weren't loved. Just because he didn't show up." He said softly.
She was crying now, soft little sobs.
"I can't... there's nothing I can say to justify what I did . Except that I'm sorry. I shouldn't have... that night... I wanted to see you smile Hermione. I couldn't bear hurting you.. Couldn't bear anyone else hurting you... I never could." He looked away.
Hermione started replying but he held a hand up.
"I wanted to say it. Once or twice. But then I heard you were pregnant. And I realized things were alright between you and him. I mean, you'd decided to start a family together. So I didn't mention anything. I just... I was glad to see you happy again."
She kept staring at him and then she nodded. He doesn't know. Doesn't know . For a moment she couldn't think. Should she tell him? Tell him that the Ron had nothing to do with the life she was carrying?
And what? He'll want to do the right thing and where would that leave you? A pity fuck is a lot less pathetic than a pity marriage.
She needed to know something though
"Can I ask you something , Harry? That night, I was making love to my husband...who were you making love to?"
Harry froze, stunned .
She smiled, a soft brittle smile.
" Did you imagine I was someone else? Tried to force yourself to think it wasn't me? Is that what you did?"
Harry shook his head, it wasn't true after all but he couldn't put his chaotic thoughts into words.
" I woke up alone, Harry. I thought everything was going to be alright. I thought I had my husband back. And then.. I woke up alone. And you weren't there. And he wasn't there. And no one was there. Just me. See, it didn't really matter who was with me that night. Because in the end, neither of you were. It was just me. Alone.
"And then he showed up, the same jerk he'd always been and I wondered , so much, if I'd done something wrong that night. That I'd disappointed him in some way. That it was my fault that all of a sudden he didn't think I was worth being nice to anymore.
" Because that's what you did. That's what you made me feel. And if you can live with that, so can I."
He stood there frozen .
"Hermione, I-"
"Leave. Please... just... leave."
"Okay... Okay... I'll... call Luna. Ask her to come. Just... I'm sorry." His words felt awfully inadequate.
And at the moment that was all he could do for her. It was habit , more than anything else that made him cast a protective charm over the store. Just in case.
It didn't take him long to find a bar. And soon after, when some guy showed up and claimed he'd cheated him with some shit, he was only too glad to throw the first punch, despite being outnumbered. And as each blow landed , he could concentrate on the physical agony to keep his mind from crumbling in on itself.
By the time Harry got back to his apartment, it was late. Late enough to warrant a worried looking Draco, lounging against the wall next to his door. He took one look at Harry and swore.
"Jesus Christ, Potter, who did this?" He sounded murderous. Harry tried to breathe even through the bruising in his ribs. He'd taken quite a beating, not at all expecting to run into some old business partners of his. People he'd scammed in the past, or so they claimed. And after the first few minutes, his suicidal thoughts had dissipated , making him realize that it wasn't the brightest thing to throw a punch at a guy who clearly wasn't drunk or alone.
His less than balanced mental state hadn't exactly helped and it had taken very little effort on their part to pound him into the wall. Professional fighters. He fucking hated those bastards.
Draco helped him to the couch and then got him some ice for the bruise on his cheekbone.
"Where else are you hurt?" He snapped , jabbing him with the ice pack with a little more force than necessary. Harry swallowed the wince and tried to catch his breath. Shit, he'd probably broken something. Every single inhale felt like a knife wound to his lung.
"Ribs." He managed to choke out. Draco rolled his eyes and went for his shirt, pulling it up and peering at the skin.
"Dude, I think you've cracked it. Hang on."
His wand was out in a minute and before Harry could brace himself for the pain, he'd muttered the spell.
It felt a lot like being run over by a seven tonne truck. The pain in his ribs intensified to a level that defied all realms of possibility and for a moment he wondered if Draco had powdered his ribs instead of healing them. But less than ten seconds later, the intense pain was gone, replaced a by a throb, not really mind numbing but strong enough to make him grit his teeth.
"So, did you ask her about it?"
Harry tried not to think about the utter disaster that had gone down .
"Uh... I'm not sure she knows where it is." He said , lying through his teeth. The last thing he wanted to do was ask Hermione about the Exemplar. Not until he made things right.
"What? Harry! She's your friend and-"
"Well, there are other experts." He snapped, unintentionally loud. Draco drew back in surprise, narrowing his eyes .
"Okay, what the fuck did you do, you bastard?" He started.
Harry blinked. This was so fucking unfair! Why was he always the bad guy?!
" I didn't..." He sighed. He couldn't lie to Draco. The guy was his conscience. Had been for a long time.
Bracing himself for the inevitable outrage, he told him about what had happened.
At the end of it, Draco looked slightly sick.
"Let me guess. You drank polyjuice potion and slept with your married best friend, pretending to be her husband?"
Harry frowned. He sounded like a douche when put that way.
"I'm not... listen it wasn't like that. I wasn't planning to sleep with her! "
Which was the damn truth.
"Oh, so what happened, she tripped and fell on your-"
"For the love of God, Malfoy ! It was their anniversary! Ginny left because of -" He stopped then, already regretting the outburst. What was he doing? Why was he even trying ?
Draco stared at him, slack-jawed.
"Dude, you didn't..."
Harry sighed.
"It just... it reminded me of what happened with Ginny , okay? I didn't want her to go through with something like that. " He bit his lower lip. worrying the skin.
Draco squeezed his knee. He winced. God, was there a part of him that didn't hurt?
"Harry, listen, you've got to get over that shit man. It wasn't your fault. None of it was. " Draco said quietly, his tone a lot gentler, a lot more pitying.
And it grated on Harry's nerves.
"Dude, I'm not gonna fucking sit here and talk about my feelings , alright?! Just... Just get Blaise. We need to find out about this damn thing.. If Theodore is looking for it he's going to fucking kill anyone who tries to keep him away. "
"Harry , you.."
"I'm fine. We just.. we need to find Theodore, Dray. The guy's a lot more dangerous than we give him credit for."
Hermione hesitated, the ringing phone setting her teeth on edge. She didn't want to get up. She wanted to sleep, damn it!
But any number of things could require her attention. She was mostly alone now, couldn't afford to neglect anything and then have it bite her in the backside later.
Grunting with the effort, she pulled herself up, moving groggily to the table.
"Hello?"
"Hermione." The voice was low but easy to recognize.
"Ronald? Are you alright?" She said, surprised. He sounded...off.
"Mione...help."
Her fingers tightened on the handset, sick dread seeping into her stomach.
"This isn't funny, Ron." She warned, leaning back a bit too hard against the table, her back wincing in protest. She couldn't do this. She was in no condition to do this.
"Mione...Please.."
Click.
The line went dead. She held the phone for a few more seconds, the steady beep beep putting her into a trance. What was Ron playing at?
Was he hurt?
Genuinely hurt?
She could call someone. Call Harry and ask him to check up on ...
But she couldn't. She didn't want... anything to do with him. Or Ron. Or anyone else, for a while. Why was this happening to her?
A sob escaped her, her breath catching in her throat. she wasn't stable enough to deal with this. Not now. Damn you, Ronald Weasley!
Fingers trembling, she called Draco.
"He..Hello.?" She said, swallowing the stutter and trying to think straight.
"Hermione?"
"Draco...Its...its...Ronald... he's.." Her thoughts went haywire as she tried to recall what her husband had said.
"Hey, hey, hey. sweetheart just calm down. Where are you?" Draco sounded as clear headed as always and the concrete calmness in his tone somehow transferred to her own thoughts, unexpectedly calming her.
"In the store...I.." She stopped when she heard someone yell in the background. Draco's voice came muffled and she couldn't hear what he was saying but a second later she heard Harry's voice.
"Mione! Are you okay? What is it? What did that bastard do? Did he hurt you? I swear I'll fucking murder his-" The line went silent and Draco's long suffering sigh filled her ears.
"I'm sorry, he's just going all alpha male, right now. Tell me what's up with Ron?"
"I think he's hurt. He.. called me and said he needed help..."
"Called as in.. on the phone?" She could practically imagine the frown on his face.
"Yes."
"Okay could you tell me the number ?"
She fumbled with the phone, easily listing his number.
"Okay, Mione. I want you to calm down. We'll track him down and let you know alright?"
She nodded stupidly, momentarily forgetting he couldn't see her.
"And, I know you don't really want to do this but could you-?"
The line went silent and it was Harry again.
"Mia! I need... i just.. fuck.. please... I need to be there... with you...I'm coming over." He was babbling, incoherent and obviously scared.
"I'm fine. You don't need to-"
"No... no.. you don't understand. This is serious... Mione... I just...I'll explain when I get there okay? I know you hate me and I won't ask you to forgive me or even put up with me but I just... I need to be there alright?" His words ended in barely masked hysteria and some of the panic that had died down, came fluttering back.
"Okay." She managed to whisper , before hanging up.
"This could mean a hundred things." Blaise protested, even as Harry threw a bunch of his clothes into a bag. If he had his way, he wasn't leaving Hermione alone for more than a second.
"Or it could mean that Theodore is going to come after her. I'm not taking any chances." He snapped, looking for the cloak, his wand and semi automatic he usually carried. He needed ammo. Lots of it.
"I don't understand... We were in the order too, how come we never heard of this thing." Draco looked confused, his eyes flitting across the file that Blaise had brought home. So far they hadn't learned much from it. Just that the Order had been aware of the Exemplar's existence and a handful of them were actively assigned in looking for it. There were a total of five names. Four of them unfamiliar.
It was the fifth one that had given Harry a Heart attack.
Hermione Jane Granger.
And if Blaise could get the file, so could Theodore. And if he got the thing, there was no doubt who he'd come after first. If for no other reason than to make Harry suffer.
"didn't you read the damn headline. Security Clearance level 5 ... We were just four." Blaise snapped, annoyed as always that no one cared about legal jargon like he did.
Harry ignored their arguing, already sliding his knife and switchblade into his pocket. Draco paused from his bickering to eye him thoughtfully.
"you think this is gonna go down bad?" He said quietly, worry written all over his face.
Harry grinned. He could already picture Theodore in his head, picture snapping the life out of him, watch the light die in his eyes.
" Well, I'm gonna make sure it is , at least for Nott.."
"You're being awfully difficult. Just tell me where she is. " Nott sneered, the heel of his boots digging into Ron's spine as he pinned the redhead to the floor. Ron grunted in pain, his ribs already broken and his shoulder hanging out of it's socket.
" Fuck you." He panted out.
"Wrong answer." Nott hissed, fingers wrapping around a handful of his hair and yanking him up.
"Fucking hell.." Ron swore, his vision swimming. He hoped Hermione would send help. The bitch owed him at least that.
Nott was annoyed, beyond endurance. He'd found the supposed store, but he couldn't get in. Powerful wards had kept him out, making it impossible to go anywhere near the building. And who could have put such a protection on the girl, if not her good for nothing husband?
"Tell me how to break the charm?" He snapped, shaking the redhead in front of him. Ron whimpered pathetically and he could see that the redhead was slipping out of consciousness.
This wasn't working.
Clearly he needed to move faster.
"You're scaring me." Hermione whispered, as she watched Harry pull on the blinds and cover every inch of the store with protective charms and shields.
He spared her a look, a fleeting glance and then went back to what he was doing.
"I'm just being cautious. Don't worry about it." He was trying to sound normal. But she could see the tell tale signs of nervousness, right from the tautness of his shoulders to the almost scary readiness in his stance.
it reminded her of the War , when they'd anticipated danger at every turn.
Her nervousness went straight to her womb and the baby became restless in a second. Her hormones were going haywire and it didn't take a genius to figure out what was happening.
"Harry... Please...you're making me nervous ..." She pleaded, hating herself for being weak. But she needed him to calm down for a second. Needed him to help her calm down.
He was by her side in an instance.
"Hey, hey, hey. Shush.. It's going to be okay. I'm here..." He said softly, settling next to her on the bed, pulling her close till her back rested firm against his chest. One hand went over her palm where it lay against her belly. He hummed softly, nose buried in her hair and finger rubbing soothing circles on her tummy. The baby moved again. Once and then twice.
"You're being too stiff. Relax for me." His voice was almost hypnotic, lulling her into a sense of security. Slowly, her shoulders relaxed. Her breathing evened out and she relaxed against him, feeling boneless . After a few seconds, her child calmed down as well.
They sat there for a few more seconds, before Harry drew back. Not completely, but enough to make her sit up straighter.
"I need to ask you something. About what you did after the war." He said quietly.
She stiffened. That was such a long time ago. And she had sworn to never...
"What do you mean?" She tried to keep her voice even. Maybe he wasn't talking about that. After all , no one knew about it.
"The Exemplar, Mione. You need to tell me about it."
She froze, feeling her nerves stand on end. Pulling back, she glared at him.
"What the hell are you-"
"Nott's looking for it. He's looking for people who know stuff about it. That's why I came here... He's looking for you Mia." He was trying to pull her back into her arms and she could feel raw panic rising in her throat.
Oh God, Ronald!
"Ron.. did he?... did they...?!" She couldn't say it!
Harry shook his head frantically.
"No, no.. Ron's fine. He'll be fine. Draco'll find him. But, baby, you need to help me out here. He wants to know how to find it. You need to tell me about your research, about who else was involved, where you've kept your findings.. He's going to hurt others to get to it." Harry looked nervous and scared. Frightened almost.
It unsettled her.
"It's... the others are...I don't know where they are... " She tried to think. None of them had been English. Or even friends, for that matter.
"Mione, come on. How can you not.."
"It was top secret! No one was supposed to know about it...It..Harry, do you have any idea what we found out? What we unleashed?" She stared at him wide eyed.
The old horrors came flooding back. The nights when she'd forced herself to bury everything she'd ever believed in , for the greater good.
"Tell me." He said quietly, pulling her closer.
The words came tumbling out.
"The Aztecs...they... they'd found out something absolutely beyond the realms of possibility. Mind control that went beyond everything else. They found ways to alter a person's behavior. Like..like a program that you could use , not just to make a person do what you want but also make him think the way you want him too. a complete control of his mental abilities and his personality.
"It was.. it was ground breaking. And then we found out that it wasn't confined to just mental behavioral design. We could also alter their physical aspect. it was like... like being given a chance to correct anything that is wrong with the human body. Can you imagine?"
Harry stayed quiet, watching her ramble.
" Several aspects of the human physique could be modified. Endurance, ability to sustain oneself, muscle tone, strength, Vigor.. countless aspects . And it was all there, for us to make us of. We worked on it but..."
"okay... that doesn't matter... I just... do you have anything here... about how to find the stone tablets?" He said urgently.
She blinked at him stupidly.
"What?"
"the stone tablets. Do you know where they are? Where they're buried?"
Oh, God, he thought...
She shook her head sadly.
"They aren't buried Harry. We already found them. They're in the Ministry of Magic."
for a few minutes, all Harry could do was stare.
"What?!"
"It's there. We found it. It's in the Department of Mysteries and..Where are you going?!" She yelped, fingers curling on the fabric of his shirt, holding him in place. She was scared!
Harry took hand, gently prying her fingers off.
"Nowhere. I need to tell Draco and Blaise. I'll just use my patronus. I just need to find a small break in the shields so that I can send it without letting anyone know we're here. Don't worry, Hermione. I'll be back in a second. " He said soothingly.
She tried to calm herself down.
"You'll be back right?" She said, feeling vulnerable and helpless.
He smiled, soft and genuine and it was hard to accept that he'd hurt her so badly.
"Nothing could keep me away, sweetheart."
A/n:- Reviews are love. :)