Wow, I had a chapter already written? What? What is this crap? Why did I not know this?
Too scatterbrained for my own good xD
Enjoy (:
The morning of the big event has everyone on edge. I'm stressing the fact that if anything goes wrong tonight, Jace and I go boom. If Valentine figures out that something is up, he can remotely blow up any of us via our wristbands. If Jace and I don't get out quick enough, we can get blown up with the building.
And I'll be doing this all in razor sharp heels, which worries me even farther. How the hell will I run?
To make things worse, my father has called me into his personal office. What if he knows something is up? I'm sweaty and dizzy, and totally screwed. I can't blow this. I just can't.
It only takes the faintest thought of the repercussions of failure—everybody I know and love being blown up—and I'm suddenly able to get my shit together. I slowly inhale, hold my breath for a few seconds, and slowly release it before knocking on the door to his office. After a second, the door clicks open and I let myself in the rest of the way.
"You wanted to see me?" I ask with a fake-happy smile. Valentine is so bad with emotions that he doesn't know the difference.
"Yes! Come, have some tea with me," he beams, pushing some papers to the edge of his desk.
"I'm more of a coffee person, myself," I laugh lightly. Most fathers would know these kinds of things about their children, but… I guess you don't get that luxury when your father is a psychotic dictator. It makes me wonder what it would be like if he were normal. Dependable, kind. Then again, the thought almost makes me laugh mirthlessly.
"Right, right," he says, looking slightly embarrassed, and waving his hand at his butler dude. "Coffee and tea."
"So, what's the occasion?" I ask casually, sitting down and grabbing a hard candy from the bowl on his desk as if it's a freaking doctor's office. Maybe his hospitality isn't so bad after all, but his horrible parenting skills and deranged tendencies kind of overpower that.
"Well, the dinner party tonight is an important one, as you know. Rather than focusing it all on business, I'd like to take some of the time to honor your seventeenth birthday," he says confidently. My birthday? Why the hell would my seventeenth birthday be one of any importance?
"Oh," I exhale, and then smile, though my shock is not lost on him.
"I know, seventeen may seem odd for you, having grown up as a Mundane. But where I grew up, the seventeenth birthday is of utmost importance. More important that the eighteenth, in fact," he explains.
"I don't know what to say," I answer honestly. "Thank you, I guess. Nobody has thrown me a party this big before."
"You are my sole daughter, Clarissa. I want you to be happy while you are with me. Your allegiance has made me the happiest father. It is time that you are given something in return."
I think that's the closest that he's ever going to get to telling me he cares about me, but it doesn't matter; I have the answer to this whole thing. He wants my loyalty. He's throwing this big party so that I'll side with him, as if I'm some materialistic little girl. He's in for the shock of his life, tonight.
"I appreciate this, all of this," I tell him with a smile. "I really do."
He smiles brilliantly at me, as if he's made some great accomplishment. It makes me sick to my stomach.
"Well, I suppose you want to start getting ready. I hope you are satisfied with the designer I sent to you yesterday?"
"Felicity was lovely, and the dresses are gorgeous—you'll see, tonight." When I get Jace and myself out of this corporate hellhole and the rebellion blows the place up.
I leave my father's office feeling a little bit more anxious than before. If this party is for me, then there will be more attention on me and it'll be harder to sneak away. Maybe I can say that I'm going for a costume change, I mean, that's what these kind of rich people do, right? Change multiple times to attract attention to their bountiful wardrobe?
Honestly, I think that they're all stupid enough to believe it. Valentine's rich followers have the collective intelligence of a pineapple.
Instead of going back to my room, I head up to the roof, where Jace is supposed to meet me at noon, after trying on his own tux for any final alterations.
I get there first and sit in the midday sun, feeling it warm my skin to the touch. It's been a while since I've been able to sit out in the sun, and not by a tinted window. It looks completely different in the day light, without the mysterious taint of the darkness and the moon covering the air ducts that sit up here, shadowy and secretive. Now everything's as clear as can be, and it sort of kills the concept of mystery that I had in mind. The sun washes everything out and bleaches it into my mind. But then again, after tonight, none of it will even matter. We'll be gone, and I hope that we'll never have to return.
I hear the gravel crunch under Jace's feet and smile. I love to have these moments away from the compound prison below us, just to ourselves. He stops, though, a few feet away, and his shadow looms over me in the sunlight.
"What's up?" I ask, turning my head around and jumping to my feet.
"Were you expecting someone else, little sister?" Jonathan's voice taunts, ice cold despite the warm sun beating down on his silvery halo of hair. My heart has pounded up into my throat, but I have to compose my face, lest he sense my uneasiness.
"Oh, hi. You scared me!" I laugh. "Jace was supposed to meet me up here. To practice our waltz for tonight." I tack on for extra measure, hoping that he finds it acceptable. I smile nonchalantly, but on the inside feeling like dying.
"Is the ballroom too mainstream for your tastes?" He sneers, rolling his eyes and stepping closer to me. I have to physically lock up my muscles to keep myself from stepping away from him.
"Nah, it's just so crowded with all of the preparations and whatnot. I don't want to be in anybody's way," I shrug. "Plus, it's so nice out today! So sunny and beautiful."
His eyes narrow and he steps even closer, completely blocking the sun from my view and taking away the comfort that it brought me.
"I know that you're lying to me, Clarissa. I don't know what you two are scheming," he spits. "But whatever it is, it's not going to work. I can see through your façade, that you're not happy here. It's a shame that our father is too blinded by this infatuation that he has with gaining your trust."
"Listen," I tell Jonathan, playing into the fact that I'm a horrible liar. "This might come as a shock to you, but I'm not a good liar. If I were scheming something, you would know for sure what it was, because trust me, I suck at that sort of stuff. Back at home, I was the good girl straight A student. I lived a boring, mundane life. But here, I'm somebody important, I'm noticed. I can have a real life here, where I can be who I want to be. I have the opportunity to be happy," I gesture towards the outside world. "It's a living hell out there. You've never lived out there, but it's shitty, big brother."
I'm breathing heavy, nearly convinced by my own outburst. I let the anger overtake me in the form of tears welling in my eyes. He looks confused and thrown off.
"I belong here," I tell him, my voice cracking. To avoid further questioning, I storm passed him and to the roof-access door, and clomp down the stairs as fast as I possibly can without falling and hurting myself.
In such a haste and the tears still in my eyes, I swing around a corner in the stairwell and smack straight into Jace. His arms instantly envelop my shoulders and he peers into my eyes, looking worried.
"Jonathan's suspicious," I whisper, leaning into his shoulder. "I'm scared. But I'm pretty sure that I threw him off a little."
"What happened?" Jace asks, taking me by the arm and pulling me back downstairs with him. I explain to him what Jonathan accused us of. He shakes his head in annoyance.
"Bastard," he mutters. "Trying to intimidate you? Like you can be intimidated." He laughs at the thought. I smile a little up at him. His enthusiasm helps, even though I was terrified.
I wish that we could further discuss our plans for the evening—I'm sure anything he comes up with will be much better than mine. I just want out, at this point. Since it's early in the day, and I don't have to be ready until four, I head over to the training room with Jace. We train nearly every day, mostly for his benefit; his body is used to it, and he likes to keep in shape. Plus, seeing him shirtless and sweaty will keep my mind off of my brother.
I, on the other hand, am not used to the training. I'm getting better, though. I can keep up with Jace for the most part, but I'm nowhere near his level of finesse. I'm pretty decent with a bow and arrow, though, because of the summer camp that Isabelle and I used to go to when we were younger. I feel like I could maybe hold my own in a fight.
Jace disarms the practice sword in my hands and my little burst of confidence plummets.
"You need to focus," he smiles gently. "Keep light on your feet. You don't have much strength but you have speed and agility. Use that."
We go another round, this time with me doing more dodging that anything else. My heart pounds in my chest as I dive under Jace's arm and shove my elbow into his back, knocking him off balance. I land a soft blow to his back, defeating him.
"That's what I was talking about," he grins, pulling me in by the arms.
His hand traces over my wristband, the one that still reads out all zeros. It used to bring me such sorrow, knowing that I was a sort of malfunction, that I'd never find my numerically calculated mate, someone who's perfect for me. But now, knowing that I'm not the only one—that Jace is in it with me—makes me smile through the happy tears that come to my eyes. I think that he's the one I'm meant to be with.
"Are you okay?" He asks me, cupping my cheek in his hand. I nod and lean in, closing my eyes and taking a steadying breath.
"I'm good. Just thinking too much," I laugh, holding up my wrist. He nods, looking at his own band.
"When I was little, I used to think that just because my band reads out all zeros, that I was an anomaly. I grew up thinking that, with nobody telling me otherwise, but I eventually grew used to it. I started not caring," he sighs, running his hands over my hair softly, like a feather of a touch.
"And then I met you," he breathes, sounding breathless. "And I fell in love with you so quickly, and that scared me so badly. But every time that I would start to bring my walls back up and close myself in, you would do something to chip them away again. I'm defenseless when I'm with you."
I smile up at him through my tears. I've never felt so loved, so wanted. I feel like I belong here, finally, with Jace. I never in my life thought that I'd feel that way.
Then again, I also never thought that I'd be trapped in a compound, imprisoned by my psychotic father and brother. But there's only so much that can be done, and I plan on doing everything in my power.
I'm going to get ready and act excited for this damn party, and I'm going to get the hell out of here, and let the resistance take care of the rest.
I wish that I knew how wrong I was about everything.