A/N: Thank you to PinkGuildKnight for the review and to all the readers who have followed and favourited my story.

Thanks once again go to my Betas, infernas81 and inuverse.

I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please R&R – it helps to keep me motivated!

Chapter 4

I'm rudely awoken the next morning by Cassian hammering on my bedroom door.

"Are you going to be getting up anytime today?" he asks through the door.

I groan as I rapidly blink the sleep out my eyes. I go to get out of bed, but realise I'm stuck. My muscles have seized up and I'm stuck on my back. I spend a couple of minutes trying to heft myself out of bed but there is no chance I'm going to be able to do this alone – I need help. I can hear Cassian in the main room, but I'd rather not have him help me; I really don't need to be mercilessly teased.

"Hey Cass, is Elain here?" I shout, trying to sound casual.

"Nope. I took her to her flower patch a couple of hours ago when you showed no sign of getting up."

"Oh. Is Alis about?" I asked hopefully.

"Nope, you've just got yours truly for company."

I was NOT going to ask Cassian, so I tried again to get out of bed by myself. I must have been making more noise than I thought as I heard him at the door again.

"Are you ok Feyre?"

"Ummmm….."

I felt his unease through the door. "Right, I'm coming in, make sure you're decent." With that, my door opened, and he strode in, purposely not looking at me in case I wasn't ready. After glancing toward me out the corner of his eye and discerning I was decent, he then faced me fully. "Aren't you getting out of bed?" I didn't respond, and he kept looking at me, then a huge grin spread on his face. "You're stuck, aren't you?" I nodded my head then burst into tears; damn hormones.

He came over to me and gently helped me sit up and swing my legs around onto the floor. I tried to get up to go to the bathroom, but my muscles still hadn't loosened up, so he had to grab me and escort me. I was so embarrassed.

Once in the bathroom I looked at him pointedly. "Thank you," I said, rather stiffly.

"No problem, what do you need me to do now?" he asked, looking somewhat embarrassed himself and clearly hoping I wouldn't need him further.

"Nothing!" I shouted out quickly, "just go, please".

"But you're going to need help…you know…aren't you?"

"I'll manage. Although if you don't leave in a minute I won't need to use the toilet; it'll be all over the floor. This kid is lying on my bladder!"

"Fine fine. I'll go find Alis. I don't fancy helping you dress when you're done here!"

I threw a vulgar gesture at him as he turned to leave. "I saw that!" he called over his shoulder, outright laughing at me.

Five minutes later there was a knock at my bedroom door, then it opened and Alis stepped inside.

"Lady Feyre?" she asked.

"In the bathroom Alis," I called back.

She came in and found me perched on the side of the bath.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"I'm too sore and stiff to move," I muttered.

"Oh, My Lady," she chuckled, "let's get you into your room and ready to face the day."

I nodded, and she came to my side and helped me up.

Once I was ready (I'd picked the comfiest clothes I could find; a pair of baggy trousers and one of Rhys' shirts), Alis helped me to the main room and to sit down in one of the comfy chairs. Cassian was sat at the table with both our swords and all of our daggers, sharpening and polishing them. I swear that's all he does! He raised an eyebrow at me, shaking his head and laughing at me.

"I don't know why you're laughing," Alis snapped at Cassian. "Growing a baby isn't easy and besides, I told you to make sure she was ok. Does she look ok?" She gestured wildly behind her at me.

"Shit, what's wrong?" he said in a panicked tone, jumping to his feet and coming to my side.

"You let a heavily pregnant female train yesterday. I'm surprised High Lord Rhysand trusts you to protect his mate and child."

Cassian looked like Alis had slapped him.

"Alis," I chided, "Cass is akin to my brother and is a brother to Rhys. He would lay down his life for us without question or hesitation. I trust him with our lives." I grabbed his hand in an effort to convey my love and trust to him. "Besides, I've decided that maybe it's time for me to slow down, although I'm not impressed that that means twiddling my thumbs for another 8 months."

"My apologies," she said to Cassian.

"You love Feyre and have her best interest at heart, you don't need to apologise for that," he told her.

She gave him a curt nod then eyed all the blades on the table. "I have something of yours My Lady, I'll just go and fetch it." She then swept from the room.

"I'm sorry for Alis, Cass," I said. "I meant every word I said to her. I trust you implicitly. After all, who else would I trust to teach this one to wield a blade and to fight?" He looked slightly mollified at my words and I pulled him into a hug just as Alis returned.

"I took this from your room and hid it after you left," Alis said as she set a wrapped package down on the table in front of me.

I scooted further forward on the chair and untied the bindings. I pulled off the outer fabric and saw my jewelled hunting knife and jewelled belt, both of which had been given to me by Lucien.

Cassian let out a low whistle, "wow, they are stunning. May I?" he asked, indicating to the knife. I nodded, and he picked the knife and belt up. He removed the knife from its scabbard and inspected it closely. "This is a fine weapon," he told me "did he give it you?"

Knowing that he meant Tamlin, so I shook my head. "They were gifts from Lucien," I explained. "The knife he gave to me the first time I caught the Suriel, back when I was human. He gave me the belt after Under the Mountain as I took to wearing the knife all the time and he told me that I may as well look good." I turned to Alis, "thank you for keeping them safe. They'll actually come in handy today."

"What in the name of the Mother are you going to be doing with that knife today?" Alis asked, exasperated.

"Don't worry Alis," I laughed. "I'm not picking a fight with someone! I need to talk to Tamlin about Lucien. Hopefully he'll see the knife and bring up the subject of Lucien himself."

"Good idea, just don't push him too far. You know how quick his mood changes," Alis warned. Cassian nodded in agreement.

Seeing as what I was about to do was considered risky – according to Cassian – he insisted on accompanying me. I could still see the haunted look in his eyes that he'd hurt me, so I tried to not lean on him so much as he escorted me downstairs. One of the servants told me Tamlin was outside with Elain so we steadily made our way to Elain's flower patch.

"I could carry you," Cassian offered, "then we'd get there today."

I chose to ignore him and continued walking with my head held high, refusing to look at him.

As we turned the corner I couldn't believe the sight that greeted us. Elain was knelt down, sleeves rolled up, covered in mud and Tamlin was just the same – Tamlin who didn't like getting his hands dirty as that is what servants are for (according to him).

"Morning!" I called out brightly. They both turned to look at us and Tamlin's eyebrows shot up when he noticed what I was wearing. He gave me a quizzical look. "What?" I asked. His eyes moved down to my clothes. "Oh. Yeah, I decided today was a relaxing day."

"That and she could barely move half an hour ago," Cassian said. I shot him a warning glare.

I looked over the work that Elain and Tamlin had completed and had to say I was impressed; it was exquisite. As Elain had decided to bring the satchel of seeds and bulbs home with us so she could care for them properly, the ground staff had given her various plants that she could plant up and see her work straight away. The arrangement of the plants and flowers complemented each other beautifully.

I made to sit down on the bench next to the plot and let out a huff as my muscles groaned as I lowered myself awkwardly down.

"This is stunning Elain," I told her. She looked at me for a brief moment, gave me a beaming smile, then went back to her work.

This was the nature of Elain. Since the Cauldron changed her it was rare to see her as she once was. Since the war finished we saw slight improvements in her demeanour, but she was still not interacting much with any of us. Nesta had pointed out that the main time we saw a difference in her was when she was in the garden. This week however, I'd seen the Elain I knew and loved seem to wake up, come more alive. I really hoped that these improvements would continue after we returned home to Velaris.

"Why are you wearing that knife?" Tamlin asked, bringing me back from my thoughts.

I didn't get to answer before Elain spoke. "She wants to talk to you about Lucien," she told him, not looking up or stopping her work.

All of Tamlin's muscles seemed to clench at the mention of Lucien's name and he dug his hands into the ground so quick I knew he was trying to hide the claws that had come out. Cassian put a hand on my shoulder and manoeuvred himself slightly, so he was more in front of me. This did not go unnoticed by Tamlin and made his mood worse. I sighed and thought it was now or never to bring up the subject, so I pushed on.

"I know that you probably feel strongly about what happened - " I began.

"Strongly?! He betrayed me."

"He felt that what happened with Hyburn, Ianthe, Jurian and the Twins, not to mention Elain, was too much - "

"He thought it was too much?!" he interrupted again. "He was my emissary; a member of MY Court, it was his job to do whatever I said; not have an opinion on it!"

"If you're going to blame Lucien you should blame me too."

"Oh, I do. I may love you but that still doesn't mean I don't feel betrayed." My heart skipped a beat at his statement. "Did you convince him to help you or did he offer to betray me?" he snarled. I could feel the anger radiating off him.

"It wasn't anything like that and you know it. Besides, I should feel betrayed by you," I spat back at him, starting to lose my own temper. "My sisters got thrown into the Cauldron, you took me from my mate AND you sold us all out to Hybern."

"I wanted to rescue you from him!" he shouted. "He took you from me first!"

"He didn't! I LEFT YOU! Your treated me like shit, you ignored what I went through after we came back from Under the Mountain. Then you locked me in the damn house and I freaked out; Rhys and Mor rescued me and I didn't want to come back, but you wouldn't listen."

I kept my focus entirely on Tamlin; he was in a mood that was dangerously close to lashing out. My eyes flickered to Elain and I saw her moving towards us steadily, trying to make sure he didn't notice her, and I threw up a shield between her and Tamlin. Both of Cassian's hands were on the handles of 2 of his daggers. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. I needed to calm him down. I put my hands out in front of me in a placating gesture; one I'd had to use with him far too many times.

"Please Tam, you need to calm down…"

"I need to do no such thing!" he roared.

He then surged to his feet and in a flash, had shifted into his beast form. Cassian had now drawn both daggers and was planted firmly in front of me. I knew that Cassian would happily put those blades into Tamlin for everything he'd done to me, but I needed to diffuse the situation. I reached out with my magic and black tendrils snaked towards Tamlin and seized around his wrists and ankles. He pulled against them, and with his brute strength it was an effort to keep a hold of him.

"TAMLIN!" I shouted at him. "If you don't calm down I'll be forced to make you calm down."

"HOW DARE YOU!" he roared and lunged straight for me – breaking through my restraints – teeth bared.

In that moment I felt pure panic; panic that Tamlin would hurt me and in hurting me would hurt my baby. Deep down I felt Rhys shouting at me through the bond, but I slammed my shields down completely, shutting him out. I felt anger burning through me, but different to normal. I don't know what happened next, but there was another flash and my senses felt sharper than they had a second ago. All I felt was fear for my child and anger at Tamlin.

Tamlin had reached us and was tackling Cassian in an attempt to get at me. In his temper he had completely yielded to his inner beast; something that was inside all High Lords. Cassian was striking him with the hilt of his blades, but I knew that this wouldn't last long; if Cassian thought I was in true danger he would kill Tamlin. I let out an unexpected growl, but, some part of my brain picked up on the fact that it sounded deeper. I looked up at Elain and she was staring at me, with something like shock and awe in her eyes. I looked down and saw I'd got paws and fur. I let out a yelp in my surprise which caused Cassian to turn around to look at me and it cost him. Tamlin managed to get through his defence and get his jaws around his wrist and shut them with an ear-splitting crunch as he went through bone, mangling his wrist.

Cassian swore loudly as I jumped forward and somehow, I howled! This made Tamlin look toward me and he took a swipe at me. Anger and a need to protect surged through me and I lost all sense of time and reason. I felt my lips pull back from my teeth as I let out a low snarl, then I ran straight at Tamlin. Cassian tried to get in front of me, to stop me, but I leapt with powerful back legs, my front legs landing on his shoulders as I sprang at Tamlin.

"FEYRE, NO!" Cassian shouted at me.

We were a mass of teeth and claws. The beast inside me took over and I didn't see reason in anything, apart from keeping the back half of my body away from his teeth and claws, which meant mostly using my head.

As I was fighting I barely registered Cassian edging behind Tamlin. The next thing I knew, he leapt on Tamlin, driving his dagger into his abdomen. Tamlin let out a roar and turned on Cassian, who drew his sword and stood waiting. I could see the blood pouring from Tamlin's wound as he went to strike Cassian and seemed to sway. Cassian used the opportunity to try and talk him down again.

"Tamlin, you must regain yourself. We need to get you healed and if you're not careful you'll hurt Feyre," he said, gesturing to me with his head.

Tamlin looked at me, really looked at me. He let out a huff and flumped on the ground, the blood leaking from his wound slowing down. I stood staring at him, my teeth still bared. Cassian put his sword back in its scabbard and cradled his crushed wrist. He made to come toward me, and I growled at him, so he stopped. I noticed movement to my side and saw Elain approach me.

"Feyre…it's me," she said gently. She carefully stretched out a shaky hand and placed it onto my head.

The moment her hand touched me I felt a calm settle in me. I felt so tired that I lay down at her feet with my head between my front paws. Elain sat next me, gently running her fingers through my fur. Cassian made to come to me and I felt the growl rumble from deep within.

Tamlin shifted back with another flash. Holding his wounded side, he sat on the floor and looked at Cassian. "She's given herself over to her inner beast. She needs to calm down before she can shift back."

"Hello, Feyre darling," came a voice from behind me. I swung my head around and saw my mate striding across the garden toward me. When he got to me he sat down next to me. "Now, what have you been doing today?" he asked me, smirking. I pointedly refused to look at him. He put his hand on my head and stroked all the way down my spine, coming to rest on my swollen abdomen. I could sense his need to feel our child, to make sure she was ok for himself. I felt her wriggle and felt Rhys relax. He then leaned down and whispered in my ear, "whilst you look fabulous in your wolf form, I would much rather kiss your normal face!"

Now that I was calmer I could feel more of myself inside. I felt Rhys stroke the bond and I lowered my shield for him, although I didn't want to talk to him.

Are you ok? Did he hurt you? He asked. When I didn't respond he pushed further into my mind. Feyre, are you hurt?

Nothing major, few scratches. Sort Cass out, Tam crushed his wrist. Tam got abdominal wound, he can suffer for a while. I managed to respond.

I see you're still not completely calm.

Go. Sort. Cass.

Rhys got up and looked at Cassian's hand. He sighed, "looks like we're going to need a healer."

"I'll send for one," Tamlin said.

"That's the least you can do, considering what you've done," Rhys spat at him. "You could have killed Feyre or our baby. I'm trying very hard right now not to kill you myself, but I think Feyre would be pretty pissed off if I did, despite what you did. I'm taking Feyre, Elain and Cassian back to their rooms, send the healer up to us there." Tamlin nodded. Rhys then looked at me, a wicked glint in his eye, "Feyre, heel."

Cassian nearly fell over laughing at that. I refused to move and shouted down the bond, Prick.

"Oh, come on, I'm teasing my Wolfie," he grinned. I got up and walked over to him and nipped his fingers with my sharp teeth. "Naughty Wolfie," he jokingly chided.

I walked off toward the front doors of the manor, Rhys, Elain and Cassian following. Tamlin stayed sitting on the ground.

When we arrived at our suite I had to wait for someone to open the door, much to Cassian's and Rhys' amusement. Elain took pity on me and opened the door letting both of us in. I walked over to the sofa and jumped up on it and lay down, taking the whole thing to myself.

"So, Feyre, this is new." Cassian said, seating himself opposite me. I huffed in response.

"She doesn't want to talk," Rhys explained.

"What happened to her? Why is she like this?" Elain quietly asked from the floor next to me.

Rhys rubbed his hands over his face. "Ok, so it's a combination of a couple of things…probably. Feyre has shape-shifting magic thanks to Tamlin, which is what she uses to conjure her wings, but apart from her wings she doesn't really tend use it. Now, High Lords have an inner beast form, one that we tend to hide. Tamlin is really the only one who unleashes his, because, well, he's an idiot with a big temper. I'm not sure if making her a High Lady gave Feyre access to her inner beast or if she just shifted, but she still looks magnificent." I rolled my eyes. Rhys continued, "if it is her inner beast that caused the change she needs to be really calm before she'll be able to shift back."

"Tamlin said it was her inner beast," Cassian said.

Just then there was a knock at the door. Rhys opened it and found Alis stood there with a High Fae female. Alis was shocked for a moment then regained her composure and bowed.

"I've brought the healer My Lord."

Rhys let them in and the healer set down her basket on the table and turned to us, "who needs attention?"

"Feyre," Rhys and Cassian said at the same time.

Elain moved out the way as the healer came over to me. Rhys and Cassian explained what had happened and she checked me out and told them as far as she could tell me, and the baby were ok, but said I'd be bruised when I shifted back. She then went to the table and beckoned Cassian over to her. She healed him as best she could but Tamlin had made a mess of his wrist, so she had to brace it. She then left to go tend to Tamlin.

I just lay on the sofa, and withdrew into myself. I still couldn't understand how I'd actually changed. When I conjured my wings, I had to think about it, but this just happened, like a primal instinct, and if that was the case then I had an inner beast and that scared me.

Whilst I was thinking I didn't notice lunch being bought in to the room, but I didn't care. The others tried talking to me and getting me to eat, but I just ignored them. I was vaguely aware of a blanket being placed over me, before I fell asleep.

When I woke up I was tucked up in bed and had shifted back whilst asleep. I wondered if Rhys had carried me in here in my wolf or Fae form. I gave myself a couple of minutes before I carefully got up and went into the main room.

Rhys and Cassian were playing cards at the table and Elain was reading. They all looked at me as I opened the door.

"There's our High Lady," Cassian said, grinning at me.

I lowered myself onto the sofa. Rhys got up from the table and sat next to me.

"How're you feeling?" He asked, kissing my temple and placing a hand on my belly.

"Tired, achy, and my face hurts."

"She speaks!" Cassian said.

I was just about to respond when there was a knock on the door and it opened to reveal Tamlin.

"Thank the Mother, you're awake," he said, seeing me. "Can I come in? Please."

I nodded, and he walked in slowly, noting Rhys sat next to me with his hand on my abdomen. He sat down opposite us, looking everywhere but at me. I could feel the tenseness in Rhys and put my hand over his. We sat and waited for Tamlin to speak first. Eventually, he looked towards me and when he did he flinched, making me wonder how much of a mess my face was.

"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry," he blurted out. "I could have really hurt you….I could have killed you."

"You should be sorry," Rhys growled, the room darkening a little in response to his ire.

Tamlin put his face in his hands. "What can I do to make this right?"

"Learn to calm down," Elain said. "There was no need for what happened out there. You just didn't want to listen to what Feyre had to say about Lucien, and what happened to her," she added.

"She's right," I told him. Tamlin nodded glumly. "Your temper got the better of you, like it so often does. You'll never get Spring strong if you snap at people, especially when they want to help you. You need to talk to Lucien."

Tamlin nodded, resigned. "I suppose it's the least I can do." He then turned in his seat to face Cassian. "How's your wrist? I'm sorry."

He held it up showing the brace. "It'll be ok in a couple of days."

Tamlin again looked towards me. "I'll go and leave you to rest." He strode from the room. He looked broken. I know that I shouldn't care what happened to him, with what he'd done to Rhys, myself, my sisters and Lucien, but I knew that I wanted and needed to help him, whilst making it abundantly clear that there was no way I reciprocated his feelings.

When he'd left the others looked at me.

"So, when are we leaving? I fancy a trip to Rita's, I'll get some sympathy from the ladies for my injury," Cassian asked.

"As soon as you lot are packed and ready," Rhys answered.

I looked at him. "I don't want to go yet."

They all looked at me like I'd lost my mind. "Come on Feyre, you can't be serious!" Rhys said, jumping up from the sofa and striding around the room. "Have you not seen the state of your face or Cassian's wrist?!" When I didn't respond he stopped pacing around and looked at me from across the room, "He could have KILLED YOU – all 4 of you. I don't think you understand just how dangerous he is!"

"Oh, don't I?!" I shouted back at him, jumping up so quick I surprised myself, "I've been on the receiving end of that temper far too many times, more than any of you have had to endure."

Once again, our tempers were getting the better of us; the room had gone dark from both of our magics and I worried that the wolf would take over again. Elain put a hand on my arm that caused me to look at her.

"You also need to calm down Feyre," she gently said.

"I'm not leaving, and that's final!" I said, sitting back down.

"WHY?" Rhys asked through gritted teeth.

"Because as much as you and I hate to admit it we need him. We need him and his Court on our side. We already have problems with Beron, I don't need to worry about Tamlin as well. Now, if I can get him to trust Lucien again, then he can take over sorting Tamlin out, but until then, I think I'm the only one that has half a chance of getting through to him. I'm not doing this as Feyre your mate, I'm doing this as Feyre the High Lady. I'm here to protect my Court and its citizens and you can't stop me." I folded my arms and glared at him.

"Is this about Spring or about him?"

"What are you suggesting?" I asked, narrowing my eyes. I knew perfectly well what he was insinuating but I just couldn't believe it. I was so hurt and angry and I was struggling to hold my magic in check. I held my hands out, flames dancing on the palm of my right hand and my left hand encased in ice. "You really think I would do anything with him? Do you have that little faith in me?" I whispered, looking at the floor.

"No, Feyre," he said. "I didn't mean it like that."

I could barely hear my voice as I said, "go home Rhysand." I pressed the palms of my hands together and felt the steam as the fire and ice extinguished each other.

"Fine, do what you want. Just remember this is YOUR decision!" Rhys shouted as he strode to the door and strode out, slamming it behind it.

I took a deep breath as I got up, willing myself to walk steadily as I strode to my room and shut the door gently behind me. When I was safely alone I went to the corner and slid down to the floor; the tears that I'd managed to keep in now flowing. I really hoped I was doing the right thing in staying.